Genuine Gemini
by P.P.V.V
Summary: For Sirius Black, power is everything and he is not afraid to use it. Enter Lily Evans, whose only desire is to be invisible, but uncovers the horrible truths that he is hiding. Now, she holds the power in her hands. AU RR! But James wants it too...
1. Silence

Genuine Gemini  
By: P.P.V.V.

_Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine, but the wonderful J.K.R.'s. I am merely borrowing the characters for this story. This is a standard disclaim.

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_

**Summary:** For Sirius Black, power is everything and he is not afraid to use it. Enter Lily Evans, whose only desire is to be invisible, but uncovers the horrible truths that he is hiding. Now, she holds the power in her hands.

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**AN: **_All characters have a different relationship_ in this story, so don't be surprised. This story _will not follow J.K.R's time line or setting_ either. In fact, this will cover some material that may not be suitable for some readers, thus it is rated M for mature. Another involving story, I hope you will enjoy.

Onward.

**CHAPTER 1  
- Silence -

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**

Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is move on

And the easiest thing to do is forget.

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_"If it was possible, I wish I had never met you…."_

Sirius opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. He could see nothing in the darkness and he was glad of that. The curtains were drawn tightly closed – he didn't remember the last time he had opened them. He was so used to groping in the darkness that he never bothered to pull them back.

How strange…he hadn't had that dream for the longest time. In a few moments though, he forgot all about it as he absently made his way to the washroom and cleaned up to go to school.

When he finally stepped out of his dark apartment and into the morning light, he was almost blinded. Sighing, he brushed his bangs away from his face and pulled his helmet on before jumping on his motorcycle and revving away.

The morning breeze felt good, his jacket flapping behind him in a small effort to pull him off his seat. He gripped the handlebars tightly and bent closer to his machine. He was oblivious to his surroundings as he sped past the school gates and down the stretch of land that led toward the main school building.

"Sirius Black!" A shout rang out over the school yard the moment he parked. He turned his head in the direction of the sound and pulled his helmet off, irritated. A few meters away, Professor Slughorn, his homeroom teacher came puffing down the parking lot steps toward him.

"'Morning, Sir!" Sirius greeted, kicking the stand to his bike down and turning the key in the lock before clambering off his vehicle.

"Do you know what time it is?" Slughorn demanded, through gasps of breath.

Sirius scratched his cheek. "Uh…"

"How dare you be late for the first day of school!"

"Was _that_ what it was today?" Sirius wondered aloud, hooking his helmet onto the bike securely. When he was done, he clapped the Professor on the shoulder. "Nothing like a good jog in the morning, is there, Sir?" He asked cheerfully. "If you make it a habit of yours every day, you might not have such difficulty keeping up with me."

Slughorn looked indignant, his face turning redder. "Why…you…"

Sirius swept a hand through his hair, which reached his shoulders in length. "Don't you have a class to teach? What are you doing out here?"

The professor seemed to shake himself out of his speechless shock. "What do you mean by coming to school in such a contraption? And at such a high speed too!"

The boy knocked on the vehicle's wheel and sighed. "That's what this baby was meant to do. You can't tell it to go any faster than it was built to." He turned to go to class then, the Professor jogging to keep up, his suspenders threatening to break with the way his stomach bounced up and down.

"T-Tomorrow, you had better not be late Mr. Black." He warned Sirius.

Sirius gave him his most innocent look. "I'll try not to be, Professor. I wouldn't mind the honor of you fetching me again though." He held the door open for them and waited until the teacher had stepped through before stepping in after him.

The school was huge, a place where one could easily get lost if they were not familiar with their surroundings. Luckily for him, Sirius knew the school inside out like the back of his hand. He often wandered the building for the best places to hide and relax where no one would be able to find him.

As soon as the Professor began to walk, Sirius crept away, up to one of these places. He heard Slughorn's cry of rage at seeing his tardy student missing again and the boy chuckled to himself.

The fat bastard.

He pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and made his way up to the roof. From there, he could see the whole school property, and then some. It was a sight he had grown accustomed to seeing every day for the past year.

He put a cigarette in his mouth and was about to light it when it was suddenly yanked away from his lips. "Wha…?"

"You should know these things are bad for you."

"Remus."

"I knew I'd find you here." Remus said, smoothly pocketing the cigarette and snatching the rest of the pack from Sirius, who pouted.

"I just wanted one…" When Remus made no move to return them, Sirius swore and leaned over the railing, looking at the distance below him. Fourteen stories up was a long way to fall…. "I couldn't sleep last night." He murmured. "I'm so tired…"

Remus rolled his eyes. "You never sleep."

Sirius shrugged in reply. He lifted a hand up to shield his eyes from the sun, surveying the landscape of the school campus. A few stragglers hurried towards the entrance doorways, rushing to get to class. He watched them for a minute, before turning to his friend again. "How did you know I was up here?"

"Sirius, I can read you like a book." Remus shook his head so that his sand-brown hair obscured one eye from view. Unlike Sirius, who was rugged and dark, he was clean-shaven and pale. He was also a few inches shorter.

Sirius did not respond right away to that, clasping his hands together thoughtfully. "I don't know why I bother to come here…" He said after a while. "I hate this place."

Remus smiled slightly. "This is only your second year. If anyone should hate this place, it would be me. If you don't like it, why not go back to your old school?"

Sirius' fingers tightened around themselves so that his knuckles turned white.

White.

Like the walls.

Like the sheets.

Like his face.

Like….

"Sirius? Hey, Sirius!" Remus shook him and Sirius looked up sharply, taking in a deep breath. "Are you okay?"

_Breathe…_he told himself, forcing his fingers to relax. The vice-like grip made his hands ache and he rubbed at them, uncertainly. "Yeah…yeah…I think…I need a smoke." The visions dissipated, burying themselves in the folds of his memory as he tried to drown them out.

This time, Remus handed him one, his face pulled back into a worried frown. "You don't look good at all. Maybe you should have stayed home."

The taller boy fumbled with the cigarette before managing to light it and inhale. He let his breath out in a cloud of smoke, and with it, he poured all his problems to blow away with the wind.

They stood on the balcony for a few moments more, in silence as Sirius seemed to be brooding over something but finally, the dark haired boy put the cigarette out and proclaimed himself ready to go to class just as the bells tolled around them, signaling that first period had ended.

He tugged his jacket firmly around his shoulders as they entered the school once more. "At my old school we'd wear uniforms." He informed Remus as they moved down the staircase toward the main floor. "It's too bad they don't here – I miss seeing all the girls in skirts."

Remus chuckled. "You're sick."

"I know." Came the arrogant reply. Then he paused and retreated a step back up. His friend stopped too and glanced in the direction in which he pointed. Two girls had entered the stairwell. One was wearing a pair of jeans, the other, a plain white skirt. "Speak of the devil." A wide grin spread across his handsome features. "Just wait for them to climb the stairs." Sirius said, mischievously.

The girls did not spare them a glance and proceeded to move up the stairs past them and Sirius chanced a peek once they were high enough. Remus rolled his eyes and tugged him along. "Wow…" Sirius was saying, "that was…whoo wee!"

"You really _should_ be suspended." Remus growled lightly as he pushed his way into the hallway. His cheeks were flushed slightly.

Sirius pulled his arm out of his grasp. "Oh, live a little!" he teased. "If the girls didn't want us boys to look up their skirts, then they wouldn't wear them so short."

"You're just begging for a slap." Remus hissed, as they passed a group of girls that were huddled around the hallway's bulletin board where special events were usually tacked. Today, a list of the class room numbers were had been posted. "Hurry up: what do you have now?"

Sirius sighed and reached into his pocket for the timetable he had shoved in there the night before. It was rumpled now, but he could have cared less. "History." He said. "With Professor Binns."

The other boy scanned the bulletin board quickly. "Good. So do I. We're in room 204. If we go now, we could probably grab seats."

"The closer to the door, the faster I can get out." Sirius quipped, stuffing the timetable back into his pocket.

The halls were already packed with students as they moved to queue up for their next class. A few students called out to them, greeting them good morning.

They made their way up to the second floor, pushing past the throngs of people. Sirius' legs were hurting by the time they succeeded, and he felt as though his energy had been completely drained, but he kept his back straight and forced himself to keep moving. It wouldn't do to show people his weakness.

He focused himself instead on following Remus, his eyes trained on the other boy's back. He couldn't wait to get to class suddenly – if he could put his head down and rest for just a moment… "Sirius!" The shout made him look up.

Narcissa.

She had her hands on her hips, a confident smile on her face. "Fancy seeing you at school today." She teased, sliding up to him and slipping her arm through his. Today she wore a white see-through shirt so that the bright pink tube top she wore underneath was clearly visible. Her blond hair fell in waves around her pretty face. "Why didn't you call me during the summer?" she pouted.

He winked, making no move to remove her arm from his. He let himself relax slightly allowing her to hold him up momentarily. "I was busy. Surely you're not the only woman I see."

Narcissa tugged on his arm, giggling. "I'll wait for your call tonight then." She whispered, slipping away just as her boyfriend, Lucius, made his way up to them. She quickly rushed over to him, and threw her arms around his neck.

Remus was narrowing his eyes. "Do you really waste your time with women like her?" he asked.

"I play with girls who ask." Sirius said, shrugging. "Why deny them? I would never do anything to a girl who is unwilling."

"It's a wonder you haven't picked up a girl yet." Remus told him, sarcastically.

"I'll score one today, just you wait." Sirius taunted.

"How much are you willing to bet?"

"A hundred bucks, flat on." Was the immediate response.

"Do I look like I'm made of money?" Demanded Remus.

Sirius tilted his head to the side slightly. "Then you know you'll lose."

Remus rose to the bait. "A hundred it is then. But I've got to choose the girl, or I win by default."

They were interrupted by a cheery voice. "Oh! Placing bets already, I see. You two are so notorious for it."

Sirius sidled away as the newcomer made a move to put him in a headlock. "Pete -"

"-Are you joining any teams this year?" Peter interrupted, falling into step with them.

"Basketball." Reus said, switching his book bag from his left shoulder to his right. "You gonna join too, Sirius?"

"If I don't get paid for it, then my answer is no."

"Cheap ass." Peter whispered good-naturedly, gaining a chortle from the both of them.

A few more girls greeted Sirius, batting eyelashes and giving him alluring smiles. He returned hugs and kisses as they came his way unabashedly, and because of that, they ended up being late for class after all. Professor Binns did not notice though, nor did he seem to care as he was bent over his desk, intent on reading something.

The class, in the meantime, took the opportunity to goof around, talking in loud voices.

All the seats next to the door were occupied and so were the ones at the back. In fact, the only two seats remaining were one at the front and the one directly behind it.

The boys exchanged glances at each other. "This sucks." Remus groaned. "I'm not sitting in the one up front."

"Rock, scissors, paper, then." Sirius said, putting out a fist. "It's only fair.

Naturally, Remus agreed, and he won, taking the seat behind Sirius, who had to sit at the very front, right under the Professor's nose.

Beside him, a forlorn figure was busily occupying herself by meticulously putting her pens and pencils neatly in a row on her desk according to length. Her head was down and her shoulders hunched in an attempt to dissuade anyone from conversation.

Instead of being deterred, Sirius became intrigued and he bent his head closer to hers to get a closer look.

She wore a green coat that was frumpy and overly large for her small frame. She had pulled the hood of it low over her face so that her eyes and cheekbones were hidden from view.

Stitched into the hood's material was a pair of dark goggles from which she could see out through.

Feeling Sirius staring at her, the girl shied away. That caused him to grin.

Never had a girl done that to him before. He was known to be a playboy and he relished in the fact that he could attract girls to him faster than any guy without much effort.

"Hey, do you think I could borrow one of those?" He asked, indicating one of the pens on her desk with his finger.

The girl paused and rather than answer, she shoved one over to him, roughly.

Not put off, Sirius flashed her another charming smile. "Thanks…uh…what was your name?"

But she was saved from having to reply because the Professor stood suddenly, the desk beneath him shaking.

"All right, class has begun." He announced, clearing his throat. The students piped down, reluctantly taking their seats. He looked down at the paper in his hands. "If you are not in the Seventh Year History class, then please leave the room." Here, he looked up briefly. When no one moved, he returned to scanning his sheet. "We'll take attendance then. Please stand when I call your name."

One by one, the students rose when their names were called. Whether they were present or not did not seem to faze the teacher at all. He reminded Sirius of an Ox at the plow, rumbling through the list.

His fatigue began to creep up on him as the Professor's voice droned on. He let his head rest on the desk as he waited for roll call to finish. He was starting to fall asleep until the Professor read aloud, "Lily Evans." And the girl beside him stood.

Now wide awake, Sirius leaned over to whisper, "Lily Evans, huh? What a pretty name," when she sat back down.

Lily flinched slightly, but remained silent. "Hey," Sirius prodded, "would you mind if I called you by your first name?"

Still no response.

He poked her gently. "What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?"

"Mr. Black, please start reading from page 7 since you seem so eager to keep talking." Professor Binns snapped, glaring at him from behind the desk.

"I would if I could, but I can't, sir." Sirius said, tartly, as he stood. "I don't have a textbook." The class tittered at that and stared interested.

For a moment, the Professor stared at him and then he gestured to his seatmate. "Then, borrow it from her!"

Lily seemed to shrink in her seat as all eyes turned to her. Slowly she nudged her textbook toward him.

Sirius bent to retrieve it. "Thanks darling." He whispered gratefully. "I'll give it back to you later." But as soon as the class ended, Lily shot out of her seat and left the room without a backward glance, ignoring Sirius as he called after her.

_That was weird…_he thought, fingering the textbook's hard cover. She was definitely different – he didn't know whether he was offended or amused.

Remus watched after her too, draping one arm around his friend's shoulders. "Sirius what one earth did you say to that girl?"

"Nothing!" Sirius protested.

"You scared the living daylights out of her."

"I did not!"

Sirius hoisted the textbook in the crook of his arm as Remus moved to his desk to stack his things away. "If I were you, I'd give up trying to talk to her." He shoved his things into his bag in a disorganized fashion before leading his way out of the class.

"Why is that?"

"Lily Evans has never spoken a word to anyone at this school." Remus said, knowingly. "She's the notorious loner and she's actually happy about it. Everyone says she's a little messed up in here." He tapped the side of his head slightly for emphasis.

Sirius pursed his lips at that.

A mental case…

He almost missed Remus' next words and he barely stopped himself from colliding into him when he suddenly stopped, turning around. "I've come to a decision – the girl you've got to ask out today should be Miss Evans."

"W-what?"

"Or the bills are mine." Remus said, grinning.

The cheat.

Sirius looked down at the textbook again, remembering the way she had practically thrown it at him in her haste to have him quit talking to her.

Most girls would have jumped for the chance to talk to him. But Lily…she was different and he liked that. He was up for the challenge.

"Deal."

**To Be Continued…

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AN: I know there are those fics where the only reason someone asks Lily out is because of a bet. This will be different, I promise. There will be a twist in the magical aspect, but I'm trying to keep it as down-to-earth as possible. It's AU, after all. Please tell me your thoughts on whether I should continue.

Thanks for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


	2. Stopping Time

GENUINE GEMINI  
By: P.P.V.V.

_Disclaimer: The standard disclaim applies. All original ideas/characters are mine to claim though.

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_

AN: Wow, I'm very happy to have gotten all those wonderful reviews! They made me all giddy inside, and inspired me to keep writing.

This story _was _inspired by MARS, a Taiwanese drama (taken from the Japanese manga), but it will _not_ follow the story (exactly). As another side note, James _will_ be appearing in this story, just have patience with me.

_**Again, this story is rated M because the subjects that are discussed may not be suitable for some readers. That said, **_

Onward.

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_Previously: _

_"I've come to a decision – the girl you've got to ask out today should be Miss Evans." Remus announced.  
_

_"W-what?" Sirius demanded.  
_

_"Or the bills are mine."_

_The cheat._

_Sirius looked down at the textbook again, remembering the way she had practically thrown it at him in her haste to have him quit talking to her._

_Most girls would have jumped for the chance to talk to him. But Lily…she was different and he liked that. He was up for the challenge._

_"Deal."_

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**CHAPTER 2**

**- Stopping Time -**

Remus slammed his locker door shut. "You know," he was saying, "for someone who's a student, how can you come to school with absolutely nothing?" While he was already loaded with homework and his bag was near to bursting with text books, his companion had not brought anything but his schedule for the day.

Sirius cracked his gum loudly. "I've got _something_: a pen and a textbook."

"None of which are yours." Remus pointed out. "Don't forget to return them. And our bet is still running. You'll be out of time if you keep stalling."

Making a face, Sirius said, "I'll take care of everything when I see her."

Remus made a humming noise to show that he was amused and moved off toward the gymnasium where all those who were looking to sign up for teams had to go before the lunch hour.

Sirius, in the meantime, went to look for Lily. He had caught sight of her several times already, her dark green cowl standing out in the crowds with those ridiculous goggles. He never had the chance to speak with her though, because she always seemed to disappear.

His chance came when he saw Lily standing in line at the cafeteria, so he picked up a tray to join her, but a pair of hands suddenly covered his eyes.

They were warm and brought the comfort of darkness that Sirius loved. However, he did not need it now. A shiver ran up his spine though, and he forced himself to sound calm. "Bellatrix, how nice of you to remember me."

The girl giggled and removed her hands. "Likewise, Sirius. I've missed you."

Sirius kept the smile on his face even though his heart thumped dismally at her presence. "I can't say the same. But it's good to see you again." She was as beautiful as ever, her long black hair had been cropped slightly and layered over the summer vacation and she had gotten thinner.

Sexier.

Her flawless skin had been accentuated with a small amount of makeup, but it only served to enhance her looks.

He tried to ignore that, keeping his voice friendly. "You look great, as always."

She smiled, showing two rows of perfect teeth. "You think so? I'm glad. I do it for you."

He made sure his face was still smiling and he brushed his bangs off his forehead. "Listen…uh…I've got to run…" He said, scanning the lunch line quickly. To his disappointment, Lily was no longer standing there.

"…Do you have someone to eat with?" Bellatrix asked, noticing his roaming eyes.

"Yeah, actually I do…" Sirius lied.

She looked around. "Who?"

He blessed his luck when he caught sight of Lily again, sitting down at a table by herself, picking at her food. "Miss Evans and I have things to discuss."

Bellatrix raised an eyebrow. "Evans? Sirius…don't you know? She's not much fun to hang around – she doesn't talk!" She cast the hooded girl a disdainful look. "And look at her! What kind of fashion sense does she have?"

Sirius shrugged. "I know. She'll come around." He winked suggestively and Bellatrix huffed.

"Well," she said after a pause, "don't be long." She didn't wait for his answer and reached up to leave a kiss on his cheek.

He felt as though his heart was melting and he swallowed hard. Thankfully, Bellatrix moved away to join her friends – friends he knew very well - or else he would have had to find some excuse to get away as quickly as possible.

Shaking his head, Sirius made a beeline toward Lily forgetting about getting something to eat and surprising her to the point that she nearly sent her whole lunch tray crashing to the floor.

He grabbed her arm though, to steady her, and she gasped, pulling away as if his fingers had burnt her.

"Sorry." He heard himself say. "Are you okay?"

She made a frantic move to grab her tray and run, but he took her arm again. "I just wanted to return something to you." He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the pen that she had given him. "Thanks a ton, by the way – I didn't use it, but I appreciate you letting me borrow it." He held it out to her. "I don't think I will be using it for the rest of the day so you can have it back."

Lily remained unmoving so Sirius slowly placed it by her tray. "The text book I'll have to return tomorrow. I stashed it in my locker…unless you need it for homework?"

To his surprise, she nodded slowly. A grin spread across his face. "Okay, I'll drop by later and give it back. Where should I meet you?"

She opened her mouth to say something but then her lips began to tremble and she closed it again, shaking her head. Her hands dropped into her lap, and Sirius leaned back, swiping a hand through his hair. "Would it be better if I got someone else to give it to you?"

She began to nod, but then she shook her head.

"Do you want it back or not?" He asked, confused.

She nodded, then picked up her pen and slowly unzipped her bag, placing it inside. Sirius cocked an eyebrow at the back of her head wondering what else to say. "All right then," he said, firmly. "I'll meet you later at the school entrance when we're all dismissed. Sound good?"

For a moment, he thought she wouldn't move again, but a tiny nod told him that she agreed, and he smiled, getting up. "Well, I'll see you later. Don't leave without me." He bade, and stuffed his hands into his pockets, whistling as he left the cafeteria.

Remus found him later, sleeping on the roof, using his jacket as a pillow. Sirius wore a black sleeveless shirt, revealing a toned body. On his right shoulder was a long cut that looked like it had not fully healed yet, curving wickedly as it disappeared under one strap of his clothing and ended by his chest, right before the heart.

He was breathing deeply, his eyes closed so that his long eyelashes curled onto his cheeks.

Not wanting to wake him because it looked as though he were catching up on some much needed rest, Remus folded his legs under him and decided to do some homework while he waited for his friend to come to.

After a little over two hours, Sirius opened his eyes a crack, lifting a hand up to his eyes to rub at them wearily. He let loose a swear word as he sat up stiffly, trying to gather his bearings.

Then he felt it; a presence behind him. Turning, he focused on a figure, ready to fight if necessary. Too many times to count, he had woken up to find an enemy standing over him and he hated himself for allowing himself to become so vulnerable.

Remus looked up at the sudden jerky reaction and lifted his hands defensively. "Calm down, Sirius. It's just me."

It took a moment for Sirius to register that, and he blinked owlishly before rubbing at his eyes again. "Oh…" he yawned and stretched slightly. "…god, how long have I been out?"

"A couple of hours it looks like." Remus noted.

"What time is it?"

"Five something." Was the reply.

Sirius fell back onto his makeshift pillow. "Shit, I'm late for work." He stared up at the sky for a minute, deep in thought, before he scrambled to his feet, dusting off his jacket and slipping it on. "Sorry, Remus. I didn't mean to fall asleep."

Remus hurriedly stashed all his things too, and hurried to catch up to him as he raced down the stairs.

The school building was empty, save for the janitors who were busy cleaning up after the students. The hallways had been darkened in the places that had yet to be tidied. Once or twice, Sirius stumbled slightly in his haste to leave.

As they passed the cleaners, he heard one shout, "Don't run in the halls!" while another one asked, "What the hell?" They ignored them though, and continued to their destination: the parking lot

They took a detour to it, because they didn't want to interfere with the janitors' work.

The parking lot was empty, the sole vehicle, Sirius' motorbike which gleamed in the afternoon sun, which would soon start to set. "I'll see you tomorrow." Remus said, as Sirius jumped onto his bike and quickly fastened his helmet onto his head. "Make sure you don't forget anything this time."

Sirius gave him a thumbs up sign before starting up his bike and waving goodbye.

By the entrance, a lone figure stood, the cowl she wore pulled over her face, peering out through a pair of goggles, waiting…..

**0-0-0-0-0**

They collapsed together in a tangle of limbs and bed sheets, blissfully exhausted and satisfied. Sirius tried to gather his breath as he rested his forehead on the shoulder of the girl beneath him, trembling with fatigue and pleasure. The girl was whispering incoherent things, but he didn't care what it was she had to say. He sighed and slowly pulled away from her.

Now that he thought about it, he didn't even remember her name – some chick who had suggested they get some drinks after work and when she had gotten drunk enough, had dragged him to a hotel room. The rest, was history.

She watched him through half-lidded eyes as he moved to pull on his clothes which lay in a mess on the floor. "Going home, already?" she asked.

Sirius smiled. "Yeah…I've got school tomorrow." He said.

She pushed herself up into a sitting position, frowning. "What about…?"

"No." He heard himself say. Then he softened his tone, coming over to the bed again and kissing her. "I had fun."

She smiled against his lips. "So did I." She whispered, running a hand through his hair. "I'll see you soon."

He ran his hand over the curves of her body a final time before slipping his shirt on again.

She gazed at him, longingly, and he knew it. "Where did you get that?" She asked, suddenly, making him pause as he reached for his jacket.

"What?"

"The scar…"

He pulled on his jacket, zipping it up so that the wound was not visible. "Don't worry about it." He grabbed his keys and crossed the room. "You are so beautiful, you know that?"

Words.

The same ones he used with every girl. The sincerity that he placed behind them though made them seem genuine. In his heart, they rang hollow – of course he would never sleep with girls who weren't beautiful, but they just didn't have a certain spark that he was longing for.

She beamed anyway, his words enough to make her day. That was good enough for him. "Call me." She said.

He raised his hand in acknowledgement, and stepped out of the room, pausing for a moment without and taking a breath to steady his still jumbled nerves.

He still didn't remember her name.

Oh well.

With that, he moved to the stairs and began the long trek down. It helped to wake him up, and recover the senses that he had lost just a moment ago.

He wanted a shower and something to eat. He knew that when he reached his apartment, he'd collapse – he always did.

It must have been well past midnight already, but he stopped at a food joint to grab a small bite before making his way home.

The darkness of the night was welcome – it was the best time to roam the streets, where he could traverse lines freely on the roads without having to worry about traffic; where the sidewalks were not teeming with too many people…when all his troubles could melt away as the world narrowed in to just him and his bike.

Sirius never got the chance to shower when he reached home, for the moment he stepped foot inside, his knees buckled underneath him and he crumpled to the floor, unconscious.

* * *

And when you choose to forget 

A part of you goes missing.

* * *

Late again. 

It was lunch time by the time Sirius made it to school. He had a throbbing headache and he was starving. He remembered the night before only vaguely, but it was like all his other nights, and they meshed in his mind.

Remus was speaking, saying something about the classes he'd missed and how much homework he would have to catch up on. It was only the second day of school after all. But even that was a haze – he wanted to have a cigarette to lift the fogginess of his brain.

Ironic.

When he opened his locker though, he realized something, startlingly clear.

The textbook fell to his feet and he nimbly avoided it, staring at the cover.

History.

Lily Evans.

_Shit._

He bent down to pick the book up, but as he did so, a few loose papers fell out. Pictures. Some painted, some sketched, but all done with an amazing talent. They were all scenery shots of the same place, almost as if the artist was never satisfied with the way she had drawn the first. He stared at them, in amazement, Remus' chatter a distant noise in the background.

Then, without a word, he stuffed the papers gently back into the text book, turning and dashing down the hall.

"Sirius? Hey, where are you going?" Remus called after him, but Sirius ignored him.

He knew where she was.

His legs led him up the stairs, past the sixth floor, and up the landing, a route that he frequently visited the year before.

The building was old, almost ancient, with the way a couple of gargoyles stared down at him from the corners of the stairwell. He could feel the rush of his blood pumping, but for some reason, he was excited.

Hopeful.

When he threw open the door to the restricted section, he saw what he was looking for.

Lily, who sat with a pad of paper open before her, staring into space, jumped at the sudden noise. She was still bundled tightly in that outdated green coat, looking out at him from under the cowl through the goggles.

He stared at her, all words forgotten. He would not have been able to explain why he was relieved to see that she had not suddenly changed over night. She stared back at him as he struggled to regain his breath. The breeze blew, as if to fill in the silence, picking up leaves and scattering them between the two.

"H-Hey…" He began to say. "I knew I'd find you here…"

Lily slammed her pad closed, and gathered her things together. Sirius got the distinct impression that she was angry.

"I'm sorry." He blurted, taking a step forward. Lily froze like a deer caught in headlights. "I'm sorry." He said again, this time scuffing the toe of his shoe slowly on the floor. "I know you're upset about yesterday…did you wait long?"

He could feel her glare, and he moved forward again, crouching down in front of her so that they were level with each other. "I really am sorry." He said. "I didn't mean to forget – I lost track of time…" He reached over and handed her the book. "Here," he said, "I hope you're not too mad at me." He tapped the book when she took it back and chuckled softly. "This is the first time I ever apologized to someone."

Lily never responded, wrapping her arms around the text and shying away from him. He didn't mind her silence, or her withdrawal and knowing that he was making her uncomfortable, he got up again, pacing the small square and looking out over the rooftop. "I didn't know someone else came up here." He said, leaning his hands against the railing. "When I saw your pictures I recognized this place instantly – they're beautiful, did you draw them yourself?"

He waited for a response but remembered that she wasn't one to make noises, so he turned to face her. She was staring up at him, unmoving, disbelief clearly emanating from her persona. "I mean it," he continued, "you've got amazing talent. I really liked the painted one of the clock tower. It looks exactly like it – and…" Sirius picked at his thumbnail, "…and it makes me wish that I could stop time like that."

As if to rudely interrupt him, his stomach growled, loud enough for her to hear it. A smile lit up her features – well, what he could see of them, anyway. Sheepishly, he rubbed at it. "Well," he said, after a while, "I better go get something to eat before I faint completely. See you around, Lily."

When he passed her, she caught hold of his jacket sleeve and tugged at it. In surprise, Sirius turned to face her again. She shoved something toward him: the painted picture of the clock tower. "…For me?" he asked, staring at it.

She nodded.

"Are you sure?"

Lily pushed it toward him again, in an insistent manner. Slowly, he took hold of it, his fingers brushing hers momentarily in the process. "Thanks."

When an awkward silence hung in the air, he sat down next to her – not too close - and she tilted her head to the side as if to ask him what he was doing. "I've changed my mind: I want a nap." He announced, cheerfully. "You don't mind if I stay here for a bit, do you? If I fall asleep, wake me up when it's time for class again?"

A small smile graced her lips, and she opened her pad of paper again, in response.

Sirius grinned and stared at the picture in his lap, leaning his head against the baseboard of the small square's siding.

A silent companionship.

His headache had disappeared.

To Sirius, it felt as if time stopped.

**To Be Continued…

* * *

**

AN: I hope that you enjoyed it. The story will start to pick up, I promise, but I need to get into the groove of writing. If you would all kindly review for me before you exit the window, I'd be very happy. I love knowing what you think or what you think I could improve on. The next chapter should be out in two weeks.

Thanks for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


	3. Making A Deal

GENUINE GEMINI  
by: P.P.V.V.

_Disclaimer: The standard disclaim applies. All original ideas/characters are mine to claim though._

**AN: **Thank you guys for the reviews. And also, sorry this is a bit late in being posted...this website was being difficult again. I hope you enjoy this next chapter too.

Onward.

_Previously:_

When he passed Lily, she caught hold of his jacket sleeve and tugged at it. In surprise, Sirius turned to face her again. She shoved something toward him: the painted picture of the clock tower. "…For me?" he asked, staring at it.

She nodded.

When an awkward silence hung in the air, he sat down next to her – not too close - and she tilted her head to the side as if to ask him what he was doing. "I've changed my mind: I want a nap." He announced, cheerfully. "You don't mind if I stay here for a bit, do you? If I fall asleep, wake me up when it's time for class again?"

A small smile graced her lips, and she opened her pad of paper again, in response.

Sirius grinned and stared at the picture in his lap, leaning his head against the baseboard of the small square's siding.

A silent companionship.

**CHAPTER 3**

**- Making A Deal -**

The next day, Sirius met with Lily again during the lunch break, sitting next to her as he had the previous day. They sat in silence, but neither of them minded. While he ate a sandwich and read through school work that he had missed, she sketched.

They continued that routine for the next two weeks, enjoying each other's company before having to go back down to the noisy world.

Sometimes, Sirius would attempt conversation, but for the most part, he would fall asleep knowing that she would always wake him in time for his next class. At first, she had poked him with her pencil, afraid to touch him as if he were some animal that would bite. After a while, she got used to shaking him awake, liking how he looked like a puppy opening his eyes. She found it took quite some effort to wake him up though.

Remus noticed his frequent absences at the same hour every day. "Where do you go?" he wondered, on their way to the parking lot together after school one day. He was still dressed in his basketball jersey, a dark blue in color. Their other friends had gone ahead. "Is there a section of the school that I haven't discovered yet?"

Sirius shrugged. "You could say that. Oh," he reached into his jeans and pulled out a wad of cash. "One hundred straight up – you win. I couldn't ask her…"

Remus snatched it from him, laughing. "_You _couldn't pick up a girl? Is something wrong with you? It's been more than two weeks!"

He decided not to rise to the bait, pulling his helmet out and slipping it on. It snapped into place and he pulled the visor up so that he could see his friend clearly. "I don't get her…" he admitted. "Lily really never talks – I thought it was just a rumor."

"Well, maybe it's because she's mute." Remus suggested.

Sirius drummed his fingers on the handlebars of his motorcycle as he straddled the seat, frowning. "No, it can't be that – it's more like she's afraid to…"

Remus nudged him in the side, teasingly. "So, you were with her."

The blush that spread across Sirius' face was all the answer he needed. "A whole hour together everyday – what do you guys do?"

This time, Sirius rose to the bait. "Sleep." There, he laid out his own.

At Remus' speechless shock, he laughed and delivered a punch to his friend's shoulder. Before either could say anything more though, they caught sight of a figure skipping toward them.

Bellatrix.

She could not be mistaken for anyone else. She put perfection to paper – a cute face and the perfect body, as well as a great wardrobe that just complimented her in every way. Today her hair was up in a high ponytail so that her features were sharper. She wore a simple yellow and white plaid collard shirt with a pair of black pants. Her heels clacked against the gravel as she hurried toward them.

"Sirius!" She was calling. "I was looking for you! Peter said I would find you here." She made it up to them, panting. "I'm glad I caught you – are you free right now?"

The boys exchanged glances and Sirius kicked the stand to his bike up. "I've got to go to work."

She glanced at her watch. "Already? But doesn't it start at five? It's not even four yet!"

Great. He was stuck. He should have known she would remember his schedule.

"Trying to get away from me?" She asked, winking, when he failed to come up with an answer.

"Yes." Sirius said, honestly.

She swat him on the arm. "Oh, that was mean." She pouted. "Remus must have a bad influence on you."

Remus' smile was bleak when she trailed her finger under his chin. "How are you?" she practically purred.

He swallowed and answered, "Great." He cast Sirius an apologetic look. "I guess I'll let you guys catch up – I don't want to be the unwanted third wheel. Sirius." He clapped the taller boy on the back before jogging away. He knew Sirius didn't want to be left alone with the likes of Bellatrix – what exactly had happened during their relationship, he didn't know and he was afraid to find out.

_Damn._ Sirius thought, as he watched his friend leave. Now it was just him and Bellatrix, the one girl he had not wanted to see for the rest of his life.

She reached up to hook a piece of hair behind her ear, her doe-like eyes staring at him. "Sirius…"

"Belle, I thought I told you we were over." He said, cutting straight to the point. His fingers nervously toyed with the keys inside his pocket, itching to whip them out and start the engine to get away as fast as possible.

But he was done with running.

"But, why?" She demanded, her pretty face puckering into a frown. "We were so perfect together. Wasn't I good enough for you?"

He finally met her gaze, steeling himself from the hurt he would see. It was there, as prominent as it had been the day he had broken up with her. "No. You weren't." He said, firmly.

"I'm sorry for whatever pain I caused you." She said. "But I still lo-"

"-Don't." Sirius interrupted. "Don't do this, Belle. You and I…it's not going to happen."

She straightened her back. "Then, at least, can we be friends? I hate you treating me like an enemy when we once used to share everything together." When she said everything, he knew she meant it. She brightened slightly. "I know! We can eat lunch together tomorrow. How about that?"

The image of a cowed figure in green came to Sirius' mind then, happily etching away on her drawing pad. "I can't." he said. "I've got something I need to do."

Bellatrix stepped back a pace. "Oh…another time, maybe?"

"Maybe." Sirius agreed, nodding. "See you around, Bellatrix."

With that, he turned the ignition and pushed his motorcycle away with a roar, leaving her behind, where, in his mind, he had left her a long time ago.

So why was it that she was always managing to catch up?

**0-0-0-0-0**

Bellatrix angrily paced the parking lot long after Sirius had left. She had overheard everything he had told Remus.

Seeing Lily.

That was what he did every lunch hour. And that was what he was going to do tomorrow. She felt an overwhelming sense of hatred and jealousy consume her at the mere thought of Sirius wasting his time on someone like Lily.

What did she have that Bellatrix didn't?

Sirius wasn't like that – he would never take a second glance at such a girl. So, it must have been Lily who was leading him on, somehow, fooling him. Those ridiculous clothes and attitude were only a show.

Bellatrix wouldn't stand for it.

The next day, she sought Lily out, for the first time, finally paying real attention to the notorious loner.

She found there really was nothing special about her. For the most part, the girl tried to stay in corners, or toward the front of the class, where no one wanted to sit. She was meticulously neat, her pens always aligned in a specific way, in a pattern. Her hand writing was just as neat, and her marks were very good.

During class, she looked neither left nor right, as if the rest of the world did not exist, and when class was over, she was the first to leave, not hanging back to chat like the other students.

How could Sirius be intrigued with someone like her?

Bellatrix just didn't understand.

"She's too plain." She complained to her friends. "How does she have someone as popular as Sirius wrapped around her finger?"

Leanne, a dark-skinned girl with a tall, athletic build, eyed Lily too. "She's too innocent, if you ask me."

"Why waste time on her?" Celes, her other friend sounded annoyed. She was busy painting her fingernails a dark red color while Professor Vector went on and on about Philosophical men and how they introduced concepts that people, up to this day, were still debating on.

Bellatrix glared at her. "Sirius is _mine_. I won't give him up to someone like her – what does she take me for?"

Celes capped her bottle and began to blow her nails to let them dry. She was a pretty girl too, with fine blond hair and hazel eyes. "Ah, Sirius…he's a hard one to keep your fingers on."  
"See?" Bellatrix insisted. "Why let someone like her take him?"

Leanne absently chewed on the end of her pen, still staring at the hooded figure of Lily. "What do you want us to do?"

"We've got to stop them from seeing each other." Bellatrix said, firmly. She proceeded to tell them all that she had heard in the parking lot the other day. The other two couldn't seem to quite believe it either.

"What is she, a whore?" Leanne asked, disgusted, when Bellatrix finished.

"Belle, we'll help you." Celes pacified. "Just tell us when and where."

So that was how the three of them ended up following Lily during the lunch break. She moved purposefully toward the stairwell, leading them up to the restricted section.

There was a small landing there that overlooked the rooftops of the school building. It was off limits because it was such a small square and a very long way to fall.

How perfect.

Bellatrix pushed her friends forward, motioning for them to get Lily. The two complied, moving as one to either side of the unfortunate girl who turned in surprise when they grabbed her arms. Bellatrix watched, crossing her arms. "Miss Evans has been breaking school rules," she said, smirking. "The sign clearly said **Restricted**yet she decided to come up here anyway."

Leanne tightened her grip as the silent one tried to pry herself out of their grasp. Bellatrix leaned closer, her voice turning menacing. "So, Evans, you have a rebellious spirit in you. You look like you're such a goody-two shoes too." She gripped Lily's chin in her hand when Lily flinched back. "Disobeying rules…did you really think you wouldn't get caught?"

Lily let out a small breath in response, but pursed her lips. "Here's a rule you better follow." Bellatrix said, icily. "Stay away from Sirius. Remember that he's not interested in you: why would he be? If you don't, you may just end up having…an accident." She motioned for the girls to hoist Lily up, and they did, so that her feet were right on the ledge of the roof. "It's a long way to fall, Evans." Bellatrix said, quietly. "If I were you, I wouldn't _push _my luck."

With the word push, she gave Lily a little nudge, who whimpered slightly as she wobbled. If Leanne and Celes were not hanging onto her, she would have fallen to her death. The two pulled her back down and Bellatrix leaned closer. "Do we have a deal?" she asked. "Never see Sirius again."

There was a moment's pause and then Lily nodded.

"Good." Bellatrix said, smiling sweetly. "This was just a warning. Don't forget, Evans. We're watching you."

With that, the girls let her go, and didn't move as Lily made a frantic dash for the stairs, forgetting all her belongings, wanting to get away as fast as possible.

The girls followed, after they had thrown her schoolbag over the school roof, listening to it clunk down the tiles below before it disappeared from sight.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Sirius jumped up the stairs two at a time, looking forward to spending a relaxing moment with Lily again. This time, he had brought two sandwiches, as she never seemed to eat during the lunch break.

But when he reached the small landing, she wasn't there.

She was usually there first.

He could have sworn that she was in History class that day. Maybe she had gone home. He glanced down at the extra sandwich in his hand, a strange feeling of disappointment filling him.

Slowly, he sat down in his usual place, and began to eat while he waited, hopefully, for her to show up.

The lunch hour flew by, and she didn't come at all. She wasn't present for their next class either, which was strange. In Math, she usually sat right in the corner, a few seats away from him, but today she was absent.

Perhaps she had gotten sick.

Having missed his nap, Sirius decided that now was as good a time as any to take it, letting his head rest against the desk and dozing off. He came to when the bell rang, signaling the end of class, and he wearily got up, stacking his books together.

He cursed inwardly when he saw Bellatrix hanging around by his locker. She brightened upon seeing him. "Hi Sirius!"

"Hey." He answered, opening his locker and stuffing his books inside.

"Can I walk with you?" She asked, hopefully.

Sirius shrugged. "Sure. I'm having a smoke first." She snaked an arm around his waist as he began to lead them down the hallway, toward the main exit doors.

The Headmaster, Dumbledore, was standing there, looking out over the front yard. "Oh, Mr. Black, stepping out?"

"Y'sir I am." Sirius answered smoothly.

"Smoking is prohibited on school property." The Headmaster said, knowingly, holding a hand out palm up to him, expectantly.

"You've _got _to be kidding." Sirius murmured.

"Unfortunately, no. I find I have no jokes to offer you – if you've got a good one, do tell it to me." The Headmaster said, cheerfully, wagging his fingers coaxingly. At that, Bellatrix giggled and Sirius angrily handed over his cigarettes.

As he was about to storm away, Dumbledore called after him. "Oh, Mr. Black, a word, if I may. Miss Lestrange, if you would let me borrow him for a moment, I promise to give him back to you in one piece."

Bellatrix withdrew her arm, telling him that she'd see him after school before going off to her class giving him one last look. Sirius turned to follow the Headmaster into his office, loping after him.

Dumbledore was an old man, whose beard was white and wiry, ending just before his chest. He wore half-moon spectacles on his weather-beaten face. He looked like he was wearing a bathrobe, a deep purple in color, and if Sirius didn't know him to be the Headmaster, he would have thought him to be a senile man who had lost his way to the nursing home.

Sirius had been in Dumbledore's office way too many times to count over the course of his stay at the school. "Please, take a seat." The Headmaster offered, gesturing to one of the plush chairs that surrounded the mess of his desk.

Sirius sat down, reluctantly. "As much as I don't wish to impose upon your life, Mr. Black, I do worry about your future." The Lecture began.

The Student interrupted. "With all due respect, sir, I've heard this all before. Can you just be blunt and tell me what you really want to say?"

Dumbledore smiled slightly. "Ah, yes. All formalities aside, then." He knit his fingers together placing his elbows on his table. "I was told that you were skipping classes continually these past two weeks." He said.

Sirius met his eye, confidently. "Yeah?"

The old man nodded. "Is there a particular reason why you are doing this?"

"I hate this school." Sirius replied, automatically.

A pause. Then, "Would you have rather stayed in-"

"-No."

"Would you rather go to another school then?" Dumbledore offered. "Transferring earlier in the school year would be easier than if you decided to in the middle of it."

"I hate school in general, sir. I don't care what school I go to." Sirius leaned forward in his seat.

Dumbledore stayed quiet for a moment before speaking again. "In that case, what would you rather be doing?"

Sirius looked away then. "Do I really have to answer that question?"

Dumbledore got out of his seat, and began to rummage through something on his bookshelf. "You were given a second chance – don't you want to give it a try? If I remember correctly, you almost failed all your courses last year. That gives enough reason for you to be kicked out of this school."

"Why didn't you, then?" Sirius demanded.

"Your father begged us to keep you in."

"What, did he pay you?" Sirius scoffed.

They were treading dangerous ice that they had never stepped upon before, and Sirius was not liking it one bit. If there was another thing that he really hated, it was his father. The thought that the man still tried to be part of his life pissed him off.

Dumbledore reclaimed his seat holding onto a folder, his blue eyes twinkling as they always did. "Your father is concerned about you as well, my boy. He just wants what's best for you."  
"What's best for me is if he disappears." Sirius growled.

"Regardless, we have honored him in his request that you stay here. Of course, I leave it to you: if you don't wish to remain, I won't hold you here. School is supposed to be an experience unlike any other."

There was a catch, Sirius could feel it. "All right, Sir, what exactly is it you want me to do?"

Dumbledore should have known better than to try and skirt the problem: he should have known that Sirius was smarter than that. "I'll make a deal with you. It's true that your father has paid a large sum to us in order that we keep you here. If you are able to keep your grades and go to class for the next three months, we will give you a portion of that – does that make up for the waste of time that you apparently think school is?"

Fuck.

He was playing dirty.

The student couldn't help but stare with incredulity. "Three months?"

"Three months. If you are doing well, and you are keeping up to par with the school's standards, then we will compensate you for your hard work. If not, then you will have to leave the school." Dumbledore said, nodding. "This is not usually how I work with students, but I worry that after all the time spent in the…center…you may be a little rusty and defeated."

The muscles in Sirius' jaw clenched. "Can we leave that out of the discussion?" He asked, tightly.

"I'm sorry."

In a fluid motion, Sirius got up. "Fine. It's a deal. Is there anything else?"

"Yes, there is one more thing." Dumbledore said. "What is your goal, Sirius? Coasting through your days at school is one thing, but doing so to achieve something is another."

"I can never achieve my dream." Sirius replied, shortly. "I've given it up." He opened the door. "My goal is to get out of here as soon as I can so that people like you will stop nagging me. I'm going to class now, Professor."

Dumbledore nodded at his back. "Yes. We have a deal. I'll see you in three months, Mr. Black."

With that, Sirius proceeded to leave, slamming the door as hard as he could behind him, feeling very guilty afterwards, knowing that he had acted very immaturely.

By the time he reached class, they were doing a discussion of a scene in the novel that they were supposed to have read. Sirius crept to his seat at the back, hoping to go unnoticed, but being who he was, that didn't happen.

"Oh, Sirius is here!" Jared called. Sirius raised his arm in acknowledgement as others called out to him.

"Mr. Black, good of you to join us at last." Professor McGonogall said, sharply. "What is your reason this time for your tardiness?"

Sirius threw his bag down onto his desk. "I was with the Headmaster. Go ahead and page him if you like – it's the truth."

Jared blew out a low whistle, and the rest of his friends leaned in eagerly to find out what happened. "What did you get busted for this time?"

Sirius swept his hair from his eyes. "I didn't get busted for anything, idiots." He lifted one eyebrow at the teacher, raising his voice slightly. "I think everyone should be paying attention to the lecture."

There was a collective groan from the class at his smart remark, and Professor McGonogall had to rap her desk for everyone's attention. Trust Sirius to get the class in an uproar the moment he entered.

He had gained himself a place at the school – respect for breaking the rules and yet, managing to stay out of trouble. Ironic how things like that happened.

A past that haunts

A future that's unclear

After school, Sirius dropped by the gymnasium to tell Remus he'd go ahead. He had about two hours before he had to go in to work and he was adamant to show the stuck up Headmaster (well, he wasn't really, but Sirius was still peeved at him for his low blow deal) that he could catch up and do well.

There was a practice session for the basketball team, and Remus was playing so Sirius had to leave the message with Peter. "If you guys are free tonight, come by my place and we'll go for some drinks – on me, of course." He offered.

Peter nodded. "Are you gonna wager on the match tomorrow?"

Sirius waved his hand, as if to say that the question just asked had been ridiculous. "Of course. I'll be here, count on it."

Peter looked out over the courts, where the sound of sneakers squeaking against the hardwood floors could be heard. There were shouts as the players encouraged each other to pass the ball and as the coach called out his instructions. "You would have been a really good asset to the team." He pointed out.

They both ducked as the ball came crashing wildly toward them and landed in the rafters just behind them. "See what I mean?" Peter asked, dryly. He moved up the rows of seats and went to retrieve the ball. Another player, who went by the number 69 came forward, apologizing.

Sirius decided to excuse himself as the team broke into a formation pattern, continuing with their drills. This time, Peter joined them and both he and Remus waved goodbye as he left.

No, he would not join a team.

That was part of the dream he had given up.

He would never be part of a team.

As he rode up the stretch of land, he tried to put everything that had happened that day out of his mind, but he couldn't. Bellatrix, the Headmaster, and Peter...they were just making things more complicated with their stupid comments.

Maybe he should have just switched schools as Dumbledore suggested. But to do that would be admitting defeat and the Headmaster was right when he had said that Sirius had been through that stage. He didn't want to go through it again.

Working was a way to get away from it all, so that was what Sirius did. And that was what he was going to do now.

He didn't really need the money, but he would rather die than ask for help from his father.

Revving the engine, he zigzagged through traffic, passing a figure in green, who, after having lost all her possessions, was forced to walk home.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't see a truck coming from the left.

As if time slowed, he turned his head at the last minute, his hands clenching the handlebars and the brakes as fear gripped his heart. It was as if someone else had taken over his instincts, snapping him back into reality.

There was a screech as rubber burned against the pavement in an effort to slow momentum. The sound was enough to render him deaf, but it was soon followed by a crunch.

And pain.

**To Be Continued…**

**AN: **I hope you will follow me through the rest of this story as I write it. I look forward to reading your criticism and suggestions. The next chapter will be out in two weeks' time. Thank you for reading,

-P.P.V.V.**  
**


	4. Memories Consume

Genuine Gemini  
By: P.P.V.V.

_Disclaimer: The standard disclaim applies. All original ideas/characters are mine to claim though._

AN: Many thanks to those who are still reading and reviewing. I'm glad to see that people are interested in where this fic is going. I hope that you will hang on for the ride, and enjoy this next chapter.

Previously: 

Revving the engine,Sirius zigzagged through traffic, passing a figure in green, who, after having lost all her possessions, was forced to walk home.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't see a truck coming from the left.

As if time slowed, he turned his head at the last minute, his hands clenching the handlebars and the brakes as fear gripped his heart. It was as if someone else had taken over his instincts, snapping him back into reality.

There was a screech as rubber burned against the pavement in an effort to slow momentum. The sound was enough to render him deaf, but it was soon followed by a crunch.

And pain.

**Chapter 4**

**- Memories Consume -**

There were sounds of slamming doors and cars honking their horns. Sirius tried desperately to keep his vision from swimming by blinking, and he realized that he was lying on his side, a few feet away from his motorcycle which lay in front of a car that had been very close to smashing into it.

On the pavement, tire marks had been made in a curving sweep. He remembered that at the last minute he had tried to swerve away, but he had lost his grip, hitting the gravel and sending the bike flying. The crunching sound had been his helmet, which, after taking the impact of the blow to the ground, had snapped off and gotten caught under the trucks wheels.

From his tilted view of the world, he could see pairs of feet running toward him and he tried to get up, but the dizziness kept him pinned down like an invisible hand. It was hard to take in a breath and he shivered when a bolt of pain ran down the length of him.

"Oh my god! Is he okay?" Someone was yelling.

The driver of the truck reached him. "Holy shit! Did I hit him?"

A pair of rough hands pushed their way under Sirius' chin, worming toward his pulse. "He's alive. He needs help - quick, someone call an ambulance."

They gasped as one when Sirius pushed himself into a sitting position. His head reeled with the shock and the pain but a dominant feeling overruled his desire to lie down.

Panic.

"I'm fine." He heard himself say.

The next thing he knew, hands were coming at him, and he flinched. "I don't need an ambulance." Even his voice sounded mangled.

"Lie down, son." A voice to his left said. "Everything is going to be just fine."

"Please," Sirius wheezed as he was eased back into a lying position, "I don't want to go to the hospital…I'm fine."

But his protest went unheard and in the next five minutes, he heard the dreaded sound of the ambulance's wail as it steadily made its way toward them.

_No…_

_Please…no…_

He wanted to get up and run, but those hands were preventing him from doing so. Fear took over, and Sirius tried in vain to gather his breath, but he was having difficulty doing so.

All he could see was white.

And a smashed vehicle.

And a battered, broken body.

It was as though he had stepped away from his body, as the scene overlapped with a distant memory.

A memory he had not wanted to remember.

_**Sometimes, the memories are so painful**_

_**That when you remember, you forget to breathe…**_

"What's wrong with him?"

"He's not breathing!" Someone cried.

_White._

A pressure on his chest - so unbearable…it felt like a living fire was coursing its way through every fiber of his being.

_A smashed vehicle._

The wail of a siren. The sound was loud in his ears, drowning out the shouts of the people around him. By that time, a crowd had gathered to see what was going on.

_A battered body._

The paramedics quickly set up around him, trying to get him to breathe again. The memories consumed him, and he tried to retreat from them. The pain they brought him was more than he could bear.

_No, go away! I don't want to remember!_

And then, darkness.

**0-0-0-0-0**

When Sirius came to, it was to the sound of beeping.

A heart monitor.

A figure sitting to his right, jumped up at seeing him open his eyes. "You're awake!"

Female.

Bellatrix.

His answer was a groan and he pulled in a gasp of breath. The oxygen flowed steadily into his nostrils, making the mask around his mouth fog up when he released a breath.

"Sirius! What happened?" She demanded, moving to sit closer to him. Her hands came out to grasp his. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that it was bandaged. "They say you passed out!"

His tongue felt thick. "I…" He blinked, focusing on her face. "I…don't remember…" he mumbled.

"I'm going to get a doctor." She said, getting up. He tried to mimic her motions, but she pushed him back down. "Stay here." She whispered, and left the room.

The pain Sirius felt was distant, and he knew that he had been drugged. It took him a while to sit up, his muscles protesting the movement. His left arm was in a sling, and he could feel bandages tightly hugging his torso and his leg. There was even a bandage on his face.

It took him a while to realize that he was in a hospital room. Everything in the room was blue, including his hospital garb. In the corner, there was a small basket of flowers, and the window stood open, the drapes pulled back, showing Sirius that it was already night time.

The doctor came in, led by Bellatrix, who was dressed in a mini skirt and a t-shirt that was tie-dyed pink and blue. The colors swirled, reminding Sirius much of how his mind was doing the same thing as it fought to balance itself again.

The verdict after his check up was much as he expected it to be: no real injuries except for cuts and bruises and a sprained wrist. He had thrown out his hands to take most of the impact, apparently, and then his body had skidded across the gravel.

"We want to keep you here over night." The doctor began shoving his stethoscope back into place, but Sirius cut him off. "I'm fine. I feel much better." To prove his point, he pulled off the oxygen mask.

The doctor smiled patiently. "I know how eager you are to get out, Sirius, but I would like you to take a full physical exam tomorrow morning. Your legal guardian has consented."

_Legal guardian?_

"My father?"

At the nod, Sirius felt his anger get the best of him. "My father has nothing to do with me." He growled. Bellatrix remained unmoving by the door, her eyes downcast. When it came to his father, she knew better than to argue. "I'm going home."

"Sirius." The doctor's order made him freeze. "With or without your father's consent, it's in your best interest to stay the night. I promise you that you can leave in the morning if all is well. After accidents like these, there are often some serious repercussions and we don't like taking chances." His voice softened. "I know that you are independent, but sometimes, it's a good thing to lean on others who are willing to help you."

Sirius seemed to consider it for a moment, before pulling off his covers. "I don't need _help_." He snarled. He hopped off the bed, swaying on his feet for a moment before striding across the room and letting himself out the door. Bellatrix made a move to go after him, but the doctor stopped her, smiling. "He'll be back. Just let him cool off."

In the meantime, Sirius angrily paced the lounge taking in deep breaths. He knew he wasn't being fair – the doctor hadn't meant anything malicious by his words. Still, the words had hurt.

He loathed hospitals – it was where the sick were brought.

It was where people died.

The last time he had been in a hospital…

_White._

"Sirius?"

The voice made him jump and gasp, the air filling his lungs that had tried to leave him. He involuntarily crashed into a side table, tipping the vase over. He made a lunge for it, but he was unable to save it, the sound of glass shattering filling his senses.

He breathed hard, feeling like he had run a marathon. "Belle…"

Nervously, Bellatrix sidestepped the vase and took hold of the hospital garb. "Please stay over night." She said. "I'm worried about you."

Sirius clenched his jaw, but at her frown, he forced himself to relax. "I'll be fine…"

"You're not." She interrupted quickly, as if she feared whatever it was he was going to say next.

He looked down at the hand on his sleeve and took it away. "Don't worry about me." He said, absently. He let her hand go, and pushed past her. "Go home, Bellatrix. I'll see you in school tomorrow."

This time, she didn't follow, but rather watched as he re-entered his room. Around her, nurses and staff were working to clean up the mess he had made.

The doctor was still in the room when Sirius came in. By his slow movements, he could tell that the boy was in a lot of pain and not yet fully recovered.

Sirius leaned back against the door, his right hand still clasping the doorknob, ready to leave if anything remotely insulting or upsetting was said. He looked pale and uncomfortable in his hospital garb, which hung loosely around him and looked bulky. This he tried to rearrange with his injured arm, but he gave up, scratching instead at the tag attached to the back of the material which was irritating his neck.

He turned his sharp blue eyes to the doctor, who was watching his every move carefully: from the way he stood up, to the way he breathed, to the way his Adam's apple bobbed when he spoke. "You know all about it, don't you?" he finally asked, in a low voice.

"It's my duty to read through files." The doctor said, placing his clipboard in his lap and tapping his pen against it. "Sirius, I don't think…"

"I don't care if you think I'm crazy." Sirius said, quietly, turning his gaze away.

The doctor decided not to pursue the subject and asked a question instead. "How did the accident happen?"

Sirius looked hard at him as if to challenge his upcoming response. "I don't remember. I was riding my bike, and the next thing I know, I'm here with injuries." He let go of the doorknob and headed for the bed, his legs wobbling – he never realized how tired he was. The painkillers that they had given him were starting to wear off and he didn't want to be standing when they disappeared completely.

"You don't remember." The doctor repeated. "If you hadn't been wearing a helmet, you would have died."

Sirius grinned. "I listen to elders once in a while."

The doctor stood then, taking his clip board with him. "I'll be sending in a psychologist as well, if that's okay with you. I want to make sure you are fine in all aspects."

Sirius weighed his words, ignoring the twinge that his defensive mind constructed whenever someone mentioned anything about mental stability. The doctor just wanted to make sure he had no brain damage….at last, the boy nodded, and the doctor gave him a glass of water as well along with a couple of pills, instructing him to take them right before he went to sleep to help him get rest.

With the help of the medicine, Sirius easily fell asleep, and thankfully, it was void of dreams.

**0-0-0-0-0**

"Miss Evans?" Professor Binns repeated her name for the third time but again, no answer came. Her seat was empty. "This is the fifth day in a row; does anyone know what happened to her?"

Sirius glanced at the seat next to him. Ever since he had returned to school, Lily failed to show up. Just as he was thinking that she had lost interest in school, the door opened and she entered. She paused just within the door as all heads turned to her, and she hunched her shoulders, hands tightening over her school bag as she hurried to her seat.

"Hey," Sirius whispered as she sat down and the teacher continued with attendance. "Welcome back! Where have you been?"

The girl did not answer, but leaned away to put distance between them. She began to stack her school things neatly on her desk. Her fingers were shaking, and he noticed that. "Are you okay?"

Slowly, she nodded, and when she reached out to put her text book on her desk, he caught sight of an ugly bruise on her arm. Without thinking, Sirius grabbed her hand. "What happened?" he demanded.

The Professor glanced up from his page and the whole class turned their heads toward them to see what was wrong.

Lily wrenched her arm from his grip and quickly pulled the sleeve to her coat down.

"Mr. Black, is something wrong?" Professor Binns asked, sternly.

Sirius blinked and shook his head. "Uh…no, sir. Sorry to interrupt."

The Professor waited for a moment more, but when neither said another word, he went back to reading the names aloud.

As the class commenced, Sirius took a glance at her. For some reason, he could tell that something was wrong, and it seemed that this time, she would not indulge him in his attempt for conversation. He knew because whenever he tried to lean close to whisper something, she would jerk away.

So he gave up trying, instead, scribbling a note and tossing it onto her desk. Lily stared at it and made no move to pick it up. After a moment's hesitation, she got up, her chair scraping the floor so loudly that most students covered their ears. Professor Binn's chalk snapped in half in his surprise, and all those who had been sleeping or dozing in class were suddenly forced wide awake by the noise.

As she dashed out the door, Sirius got partway out of his seat.

What on earth?

"Mr. Black, stay after class!" Professor Binns' shout made Sirius' head ring with his close proximity.

"What? But, sir, I didn't do anything." Sirius protested, placing his hands on top of his desk to steady himself.

Professor Binns' bald head turned red. "I know trouble when I see it." He growled. "It has your name written all over it – sit down."

Seething, Sirius obeyed. If he hadn't made that deal with Dumbledore, he would have left the room too. How unfair to pin the blame on him! He didn't know what Lily's problem was, but he didn't appreciate getting into trouble over it.

He made himself count to one hundred slowly, to tame his anger. The sudden craving for a cigarette hit him so hard he wanted to puke. He almost did, but he managed to somehow shut himself down. He kept his head down and continued to count slowly, wondering if he would be able to keep up his end of the bargain in his deal with the Headmaster.

The lesson droned on, but Sirius wasn't paying attention to it, instead concentrating on keeping his stomach from flipping. He pressed his hands together, his left wrist throbbing in protest. It was out of the sling now, wrapped in a bracer. It would take a few weeks, the doctor said, to fully heal. The pain was enough to take his breath away and he used it to distract him. By the end of the class, it felt as if he had made the sprain worse.

While everyone else started to pack their things and leave, Sirius stayed rooted in his spot, the pain in his wrist so severe that he let his hands go and began instead to toy with a pencil as he waited for the class to empty.

And then, it was just him and the Professor who glared at him. "Mr. Black, I know school may not be important to you, but taking Miss Evans down with you…I can't allow that to happen."

Sirius stared, agape. No words would come out of his mouth at his shock. He could feel his anger start to burn again, and he kept it in check as the Professor began to wipe the black board clear of the writing with an eraser. "Miss Evans has been a wonderful student of mine for the past four years," he continued, "but ever since you sat down next to her, her performance has been going down hill."

"Are you telling me to stay away from her?" Sirius demanded, at last.

Professor Binns turned to face him. "Yes, I am. I don't know what you said to her - "

"-I didn't say anything." Sirius interrupted, the feeling of anger spreading. "Have you ever considered the fact that something is wrong with her instead of me, for once?" He lowered his voice as some students who were passing in the hallway stopped and peered inside the class. "I don't know why she just ran out, but obviously something is bothering her. Think, missing almost a week of school is not normal for someone like Lily, is it? There has to be something bothering her."

"Your influence perhaps?" The teacher drawled.

Sirius had a hard time bottling his anger at that. What, did they only think he was a troublemaker? "You know, for a teacher, you're not doing a very good job of encouraging your students – and here I was thinking of trying." He got up then, pulling his things together in a jumbled heap.

He didn't look back as the Professor called out to him. The man could die and rot in hell for all he cared. Instead, he made a beeline toward the school exit and once outside the big double doors, he fell to his hands and knees and began to vomit.

When he was done, he wiped his mouth with shaking hands and ran up the steps again – not toward his next class, but to the restricted section of the school.

Sure enough, Lily was there, huddled in the corner, the wind tugging at her green coat. She looked up at his figure as it crossed the small corner and came right for her. She tried to back up, but wasn't able to as she had already pressed herself tightly against the wall as much as she could.

He didn't know what came over him as he grabbed her arm and slapped her. "Why don't you try facing your problems instead of running away from them all the time?" He shouted, his insides feeling like ice.

Lily held a hand up to her cheek and stared at him in confusion. His hands clenched into fists when she did nothing but stand there, her head bowed. "Why do I even bother to run after you...?" He trailed off, looking away. "Forget it." He muttered. He swiped a hand through his hair, frustrated, before turning to walk away.

He froze when he heard a sob.

Slowly, he turned to face her again. For some reason or another, his heart twisted at the scene of her crying.

"Lily…"

To his surprise, she took a step toward him and pressed her forehead against his chest, sobbing openly. Awkwardly, he reached around her to pull her into an embrace, which, strangely enough, felt so natural. "I'm sorry…" he whispered, stroking her back gently as she continued to cry. Her grip on his shirt tightened at his words, making the wounds underneath protest at the rough contact, but he ignored it.

They stood like that for a while, unaware of a pair of eyes watching them.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Lily cried out, as she fell back, hitting the ground hard.

"I thought I told you to stay away from him!" Bellatrix screamed. Her friends picked Lily up again, holding her into place as Bellatrix took another swing to the girl's abdomen.

They were inside the girl's locker room, located right next to the gymnasium. It was empty of course, save for Bellatrix and her group who had dragged Lily in there to rough her up once they got the chance.

She had been following Sirius around like a dog all day, at his side wherever he went, and the worst thing was, he didn't seem to mind, including her in all his activities. It made Bellatrix burn with envy.

The opportunity to grab Lily came when Sirius and her split for their separate classes, promising to meet again after school. Well, not if Bellatrix could help it. She'd make it so that Sirius would not know where Lily was.

Thus, they ended up in the girl's locker room, which was off limits to the men of the building. It was dark and dank, still a bit humid from the last class that had just exited before they came in. The sound of dripping water could be heard in the still room. The rows of lockers stood like towering buildings in the dark.

Lily felt herself slam into one of them. "Now you've made me angry." Bellatrix said, darkly. "Why should he pay attention to you, anyway?"

When there was no answer, the dark girl screamed in fury, slapping her so hard that Lily's lip split open and blood smeared the back of Bellatrix' hand. "You're just a pathetic wimp," Bellatrix raged. "If you get close to him again, I swear, I will kill you!"

After knocking her around a bit, Bellatrix ordered her friends to strip her. "Now see if you can go to him dressed like that." She taunted as Lily crouched against the wall, her hands over her head in an effort to ward them off. She was in nothing but her underwear and bra, shivering. "Come on girls. We're done here."

With a malicious laugh, Bellatrix picked up Lily's clothing and left the room, leaving the unfortunate behind in the dark.

When the bell rang signaling the end of classes, Sirius hurriedly put his things away and jogged to the parking lot. He had promised Lily that he'd meet her there, thinking he could drive her home before going to work. Normally, he wouldn't let others ride his motorcycle since he was a reckless driver, but he was willing to make an exception to Lily, who it seemed, was always the exception to his rules.

Leaning against the bike, he casually lit up a cigarette, unable to resist the urge any more. The chemicals were like a soothing balm to his aching crave and he quickly finished it off, relishing in the way it seemed to calm his nerves.

When he heard footsteps coming toward him, he quickly dropped whatever was left of the stalk, letting his breath come out in a cloud of smoke and stamping the butt firmly onto the asphalt beneath his feet.

His eyes were eager to see Lily, but he was disappointed to see Bellatrix coming toward him. "Sirius!" She called, in her pulling voice. "Were you waiting for me?" She asked, sweetly.

He straightened, wishing he hadn't gotten rid of his cigarette for the likes of her. "I was wondering if you could take me home?" She asked, before he could answer her first question. "I wanted to get home early. Of course, if there's time, we could always play." She winked, suggestively and Sirius had to swallow to ease his suddenly dry throat.

"I can't Belle." He answered, smoothly. "I promised to meet with someone."

Bellatrix put on a pout, which was downright adorable but Sirius would not fall for it again as he had in the past. "Really? Who?"

"Lily."

Bellatrix bit her lip to keep from smiling and she grasped his hand. They were warm. "Oh, come on! I saw her going to the Art Studio with a teacher – she's probably going to take forever to leave."

He seemed unruffled by the comment. "Then I'll wait for her."

Bellatrix paused. Usually Sirius would shrug and say something flippant before getting on his bike and speeding away. That he was willing to wait for her made her stomach flop uneasily. "I think she might be picked up by her parents." Bellatrix tried again. "So you'd be wasting your time hanging around here."

Sirius drummed his fingers on the seat to his motorcycle. "In that case, I'll go meet up with her at the Art Studio, then, before she gets picked up."

She took in a breath. This wasn't how she had planned things to be.

As Sirius began to leave, she hurried to catch up. "Actually, the Art Studio is closed for the members of the class only." She lied. "Besides, if Lily comes back to look for you, she might leave because you're not here."

Sirius glanced over his shoulder at her. "I thought you said she might take forever in the Art Studio?"

Bellatrix faltered. "How do you know she would meet with you, anyway?" She asked, changing the subject as she tried to keep up with his long, loping stride. "What if she doesn't show up? After all, she's afraid of…everyone, isn't she?" She hoped Sirius didn't catch her pause.

Sirius waved his hand as if to wave away her concerns. "She'd show up." He said confidently, as they made their way up to the doors.

"She never showed up the last time for lunch." Bellatrix blurted.

Sirius' hand paused on the smooth metal plate on the door and he turned his head slowly toward her. "What did you say?" he asked, in a low voice. When Bellatrix didn't answer, he took his hand away from the door and said, "I never told you I was meeting her for lunch."

Bellatrix cursed inwardly. She had let herself slip. She gasped when Sirius suddenly grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "Bellatrix, you know something." Realization swept over his features and he shook her again. "Where is she? What did you tell her?"

She squirmed in his grasp, unable to get loose as his fingers tightened. "S-Sirius, you're hurting me…"

"Where is she?" He demanded. "Why are you trying to prevent me from seeing her?"

Bellatrix put her wrists up between his arms and shoved them outwards in an attempt to free herself from his clutches. "Why do you care so much about her?" She cried. "What is so good about her anyway?"

He knew it. "You stopped her, didn't you?" He whispered. His fingers loosened enough for her to push away. She rubbed at her arms, glaring at him. "Yes, I did. I hate seeing you so infatuated with someone like her. I've been waiting for you, Sirius and you ignore me. Do you know how much it hurts?"  
"It's over between us, Belle!" Sirius shouted. "How many times do I have to tell you that?"

Tears came to her eyes. "I don't care if you hate me," she said, "but I would never let you get together with someone like her! Someone else, maybe, but not Lily."

Strangely, her tears did not affect him. Rather, it made him angrier. "Where is she?" he asked.

"She won't be coming." Bellatrix told him, lifting her head stubbornly.

"If you hurt her, I'll never forgive you." He said, dangerously, pulling open the door at last and letting himself in.

He began to run through the halls, shouting her name. Students who had not yet left the building watched him zip by, wondering what was going on. Several times he stopped someone to ask if they had seen her, but the answers were all the same. No one knew.

He knew she was inside somewhere because she wasn't on the roof or in the restricted section. Her things had been left in the last class she had had and knowing Lily who was careful about her belongings, she wouldn't just leave without them.

And then, he saw it.

A green jacket with goggles stitched onto the hood.

It was lying in a wastebasket close to the cafeteria. He plucked it out, fingering the material. On the front, he could make out a few splatters of dry blood. He knew blood when he saw it – there was no mistaking that she had been hurt.

Sirius felt a sense of cold dread wash over him.

Stuffing it under his arm, he hurriedly jogged down the hall, calling her name again. His voice bounced off the walls, and the Headmaster who was just coming out of his office, stopped him. "What in Heaven's name are you rowing about?" he asked, his lips turned into a disapproving frown.

"Sir, I'm looking for Lily Evans." Sirius answered, breathlessly. "Have you seen her?"

The Headmaster squinted as he thought. "If I'm not mistaken, I saw her with Miss Lestrange a while ago, by the gymnasium on my way back from the cafeteria after buying some sweets."

The gymnasium. "Thank you, sir." Sirius called, as he began to run again.

Of course.

The girls' locker room, a place where Bellatrix would no doubt think he wouldn't dare enter…that was where Lily would be. He fisted the green coat as he ran.

The door to the locker room was closed, but not locked as he opened it, calling her name out. It was pitch dark in the room and he switched on the light. It flickered for a moment before flooding the room in its glow.

The walls were a cream color, tiled in some parts. It held a different layout from that of the boy's locker room. The benches did not go around in a square-like shape around the lockers but were set up in rows running along the inner wards of the locker room, moving up and down between the lockers. A few towels had been left behind, draped over them.

The shower room just beyond was open. The stalls had their curtains pulled back. One of the shower heads had not been turned off properly and was dripping. He ignored that, crashing into the cold space as he searched each stall.

Toward the end of the room, he saw a figure, curled in the fashion of a ball, her arms wrapped around her knees and her head down.

When she looked up, Sirius felt his breath leave his lungs. Long, straight, red hair framed the most intense eyes he had ever seen. They were green in color, and filled with tears. His heart ached at the pain he saw inside them, so raw and fresh. She tried to shy away again as he moved closer.

"Lily..."

She was practically naked and he understood that she was embarrassed. Without a word, he took off his jacket and knelt before her, tugging it around her shoulders. The green coat had been spoiled and dirtied so he didn't want to put that on her. Her body was cold to the touch when his fingers brushed her skin. When he was done, he pulled her toward him, in a crushing embrace. "I'm sorry I was late." He murmured.

Lily stiffened slightly at the sudden contact, but then slowly, her arms came up around his middle and she began to cry again. As he had done earlier, he stroked her back and held her to him, allowing her to vent her anguish.

When she had calmed down a bit, he pulled away from her and stood. "Come on," he said, firmly. "I'll take you home."

But she wouldn't move, clutching the coat to herself tightly. "Lily?"

"I don't want to go home." She whispered, ducking her head again.

His heart skipped a beat at the sound of her voice. Her lips trembled, blue with cold.

Sirius sighed and knelt back down. "We can't stay at school." He whispered back. He helped her to her feet and led her to one of the benches in the next room. "Stay here and I'll get your things. Don't move from this spot."

She did as she was told, and he knelt in front of her again, taking the zipper of the coat between his fingers. Her green eyes flew up to meet his and he gently moved the zipper up, concealing her from sight. The jacket fell to below her waist. "I'll be right back."

Her gaze was intense. "Why…?" She asked, hoarsely. "Why did you come?"

He laughed quietly, his breath warm against her cheek. "Silly. We were supposed to meet. I couldn't very well let you stand me up, that wouldn't be good for my reputation." His fingers wiped away the last of her tears. "Now, wait for me here."

He waited for her to nod before he got up again.

"Sirius?"

Heart pounding hard in his chest, Sirius turned his head slightly, his back turned to her. "Yeah?"

"Thank you…"

A small smile came to his lips. "No sweat."

And he left the room. When he came back her book bag in hand, he saw that she had crumpled to the floor.

She had fainted.

**To Be Continued….**

AN: Now Sirius has heard Lily's voice – the next chapter will be out in two weeks. You will find out more about their pasts and problems in the later chapters, and yes, James will make an appearance in the story. The pairings will be shown too, so please review for me again and thank you for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


	5. Superhero

GENUINE GEMINI

By: P.P.V.V

_Disclaimer: The standard disclaim applies. All original characters/ideas are mine to claim though._

**AN:** Sorry it took so long to update. I haven't abandoned this story, it's just that with the high demand for updates on Philologus and my set update schedule, (along with school) I haven't had time to work on this. I apologize: I know my excuses are not enough. Please be patient with me though.

Onward.

* * *

_Previously:_

"_I don't want to go home." Lily whispered, ducking her head again.His heart skipped a beat at the sound of her voice. Her lips trembled, blue with cold._

"_We can't stay at school." He whispered back. "Stay here and I'll get your things. Don't move from this spot."_

"_Sirius?"_

_Heart pounding hard in his chest, Sirius turned his head slightly, his back turned to her. "Yeah?"_

"_Thank you…"_

_A small smile came to his lips. "No sweat."_

_And he left the room. When he came back her book bag in hand, he saw that she had crumpled to the floor._

_She had fainted._

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**- Superhero -**

Something was wrong.

A presence loomed over her, and fear constricted in her chest, clogging her throat. Her eyes shot open, her panic so great that she tried to jump up.

To get away.

She needed to get away.

The figure standing over her cried out and reflexively put hands to her shoulders to try and avoid a very harsh collision.

She took it the wrong way though, and she thrashed, lashing out in her terror, swiping the stranger hard across the chest – hard enough to force the person to let go and stumble back. Her breath came in ragged pants.

She couldn't get away.

Instinctively, she tried to curl into a ball, knowing that there was no use fighting.

The figure stopped a safe distance away, seeing that. "Lily! Calm down!"

A woman.

The bright lights finally registered in her mind, and the voice rang in her ears as her brain pulled itself out of the fog of sleep.

Blinking she could only make out Madam Pomfrey's figure as she cautiously stepped forward, reaching out a hand. "It's me…" She said, gently. "I'm sorry I scared you."

Lily fought back the panic that was still rampaging through her. She curled into a tighter ball, hugging the material of the jacket covering her – Sirius' jacket, she remembered – closer to her body. She was mortified at her condition.

She was in the Hospital wing of the school building.

Relief flooded through her and continued to do so as the nurse got up saying, "It's good you're awake. I'll leave you to rest for a bit." Lily waited until the woman had left before allowing herself to unfurl.

She stiffened when she heard a male voice just outside and she had to strain to hear what was being said.

"Is she okay?"

"What did you do to her?" Madam Pomfrey was asking, angrily.

"I didn't do anything!" Came the protest.

Lily recognized the second voice to be that of Sirius and consciously, she curled back into a ball, squeezing her eyes shut in hopes that he would not talk to her again. She was ashamed that he had seen her...

The nurse wasn't done scolding yet, though. "Bringing her here beaten and half naked – I know that delinquent boys like you…."

"-Oh, hey hey, that's not fair." Sirius was saying. "I rescued her from the hands of evil ones and you're sitting here blaming me?"

"Wipe that smile off you face, Mr. Black, because you're notorious for these kinds of actions." Madam Pomfrey scolded.

"I'm hurt." Sirius pouted. "I really didn't do anything."

"Well, you can leave her here. She'll be just fine without you hounding her every waking moment." The nurse sounded disdainful. "Until you show evidence of your innocence, I will not allow you to speak with her again, or I'll press charges, you hear?"

For a moment, Sirius never answered and Lily waited to hear him shout. She was surprised when he chuckled. "Okay. All right. I got it. I won't go near her again. But Madam, I won't be able to help it if she can't detach herself from me. Women find it hard to suppress my charm."

"Oh, get out!" The woman cried, exasperated, and Lily imagined a small helpless smile tugging at the nurse's lips. "She'll see you when she's good and ready – and mercy me if she thinks to get tangled with someone like you."

As their footsteps faded down the hallway, Lily closed her eyes again, wishing she could just disappear. She had never had anyone defend her so readily before – or anyone who had run to her rescue. She felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment and happiness at the thought that someone like Sirius would go so far for someone like her.

_Someone like me…_

She berated herself, and covered her head with her blanket.

Someone like her should just stay invisible.

It was the easiest way to be safe.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Oh the joys of a hangover.

Sirius slumped against the railing of the small square, his eyesight blurring as he stared at the long drop below him. He wondered if hitting the pavement would hurt less than the pounding headache that filled his senses. He waited, impatiently, for the worst of the wave to dissipate, before pulling away from the edge.

It was a long way to fall.

The door to the restricted area opened, just as the clock struck the hour of lunch.

She was right on time.

Bellatrix appeared from the landing, dressed in a black t-shirt and a jean skirt. Her long hair was pulled back into a ponytail, exposing two silver hoop earrings. As always, she looked perfect – like a supermodel out of a magazine. The smile on her face widened when she caught sight of Sirius, and she strode firmly toward him. "Sirius, I was surprised you called me out here."

"Why did you do it, Belle?"

She squinted for a moment against the bright sun and asked, "You sound like you've been drinking again."

He let out an unmannerly burp. "Answer the question."

Sniffing, she muttered, "I didn't do anything unprecedented."

"Unprecedented?" He repeated, incredulously. "_Unprecedented?_ What has Lily ever done to you?"

"I told you, I can't stand that you're infatuated with her!" Bellatrix said, her voice rising. "Don't you see her tactics, Sirius? She pretends to be innocent and frightened, but she really is another whore who is hoping you will fuck her!"

Just as she said those words, Lily came up onto the small square. She froze, her art pad and pencils falling out of her arms in her shock and hurt at hearing them said. She was dressed again, in that green coat, her face hooded and her eyes hidden behind those darkened goggles.

Before she could so much as take another step in, Sirius had Bellatrix pinned to the side of the building, a stranglehold around her neck, his fist just inches from her face. "Say it again: I dare you." He hissed, in a voice leaking with so much rage that Lily's insides turned to ice.

The hand that was holding Bellatrix's throat was shaking, and Lily could see that the girl's face had turned pale. Her eyes bulged, and her mouth moved but no sound came out. Angrily, Sirius shoved her back again, so that her head hit the brick wall behind her with a sickening thud.

"S-Sirius…"

Sirius let out a growl of warning, his fist tightening. The girl beneath him flailed, letting out a muffled cry and her hands came up to his arms in a weak attempt to get him to let go, but her nails scratched at him uselessly. "I told you," he snarled, "I would never forgive you if you hurt Lily…"

Out of the corner of Bellatrix's eyes, tears had begun to pool. Her legs kicked feebly, but he was not affected, his grip only tightening. It was a frightening sound to hear the sound of flesh squeezing flesh…it seemed almost unreal.

He watched her suffer, stonily, felt her pulse quicken and saw her fingers tremble as she fought to loosen his fingers.

And then, Lily was moving suddenly, rushing to Sirius' side. Her hands tugged at his arm: he seemed to have a death grip on Bellatrix's throat. "Sirius! Stop! Please – you're going to kill her!" When he never responded, she tugged at his arm again. "Please – it's okay…I don't care about what she said…Sirius! Please, let her go!" Her voice wavered, and tears of fear started collecting in her own eyes.

He finally looked down at her, feeling his rage cool a bit. "Are you sure? Even after what she _did_ to you?"

Lily hesitated, and Sirius continued. "What do you want me to do to her for you? You can get your revenge now, if you wanted."

The redhead bit her lip, as she stared up at Bellatrix. Their eyes met – the tables had suddenly turned: now she was at Lily's mercy. "I'm sure…let her go." She whispered, at last. "Please…let's just get out of here…" her hands fisted in the material of his shirt, in an attempt to tug him away.

Sirius glared at Bellatrix, bringing his face closer to hers. "Stay away from Lily. If you hurt her again, I'll kill you: I promise." With that, he released his hold and instantly, Bellatrix crumpled to the floor, gasping and coughing for air.

"H…holy shit, Sirius…what the hell…" She began to say.

"I've told you before: don't get me angry, Bellatrix." He grabbed Lily's arm then. "Come on." He snarled, and Lily let out a whine of protest as he marched away, dragging her with him.

Lily realized she was shaking all over, and it took her a while before she could properly find her footing. The grip he had on her arm was hurting her through the material of the jacket, but she didn't try to pull away from him, afraid that he would lash out at her the way he had done to Bellatrix. Instead, she struggled to keep up with his long strides.

He led her up another flight of stairs, through a corridor she never knew existed and onto a patio-like side of the building. From there, she could probably reach out and touch the clock tower, the bricks so close that she was certain she could figure out exactly what shades of red they were.

She bumped into him when he suddenly stopped, making her breath hitch in her throat. He let go of her arm then, slowly. "I'm sorry…" he murmured, turning to face her. "I didn't mean to hurt you." His hand came up to her arm to rub at the spot he had assaulted. "Are you okay?"

She nodded, and looked down at her feet. "…Thank you…"

As if uncomfortable, Sirius brought his hand up to his forehead. "Bellatrix has a bad habit of thinking she can get whatever she wants."

Lily looked down at her feet, unable to find words to say.

He sighed. "I don't know what it is about you, Lily…but I never want to see you cry…it makes me feel worse that these things happened to you because of her selfishness."

"Bellatrix loves you…"

"No, she doesn't." He said. "She only thinks she does – and her thinking is just about as warped as every other part of her." He glanced over at her, feeling the tenseness he had felt moments before start to ebb away. Lily looked so forlorn and lost, he couldn't believe Bellatrix would say something like that. "I meant what I said: if Bellatrix does something like that again, I'll kill her."

"It's my fault." Lily protested. "She only dislikes me because I'm too timid."

His eyes narrowed. "Why _don't _you ever stand up for yourself? If you don't like people pushing you around, why don't you say something?"

She nervously pulled at her fingers, and he sighed. "You hide away from the world – you never say a word. It's no wonder people pick on you." He bent down to tie his shoe, which had unraveled sometime during the showdown earlier. His rough, calloused fingers fixed them deftly before he stood again, dusting his pants off. "I guess it's my fault, too: the only reason why Belle hurt you was because of me. So now, I have to make up for it.

"I'll do anything you want, just name it while I'm being generous." He offered her a bright smile, and she shyly smiled back.

"Why…why do you care so much?"

He looked at her, pursing his lips before responding. "I don't know why." He answered, truthfully. "I've never acted like this before. I think I'm going crazy." He swiped his hair back with his hands. "So, name your price."

Lily glanced over her shoulder, remembering his fury, the strange passion that he had spoken with when he had been strangling Bellatrix. "I…no one has ever stood up for me before." She stuttered. "You've really done enough. Thank you." She scuffed at the floor with her shoe. "You don't have to hang around me any more...I only make the people around you angry and…"

He scoffed, and she flinched as he brought his hand down to rest on her head. "Don't be silly." He said, gently. "I don't care what everyone else thinks. I like spending time with you."

Blinking, she asked, "You do?"

"Yeah. Don't think so lowly of yourself. For instance," Sirius slowly captured the hood of the coat she was wearing and drew it down so that her red hair shone under the sunlight. "You shouldn't hide yourself anymore – you're really very beautiful."

She blushed, and he gave her a thumbs up sign. "You've got to have more courage." He peered at her, captivated by her green eyes, which were once again revealed.

Lily looked away, self-consciously. "I…I…I didn't think I'd ever see you again…" she stammered. "I thought you'd stop coming to the balcony…and…I thought…"

"What?" he prodded. "I used to go to the balcony even before I knew you. I didn't expect to see _you_ go there again." He grinned. "I feel really special: I didn't expect to have you talk to me."

"I didn't expect it, either." Lily murmured.

An uncomfortable silence settled then, and Sirius broke it by gently asking, "Are you sure you don't want me to do anything for you?"

"Can you save me?" She asked, seriously.

He blinked and she shook her head. "Never mind…"

Lily was surprised when Sirius suddenly threw his head back and laughed. "Sure! I'll save you from anything that makes you sad; anything that hurts you. I'll be your superhero."

She stared at him, in disbelief. For some reason, even though she knew it was hopeless, she believed him. Tears came to her eyes at his naivety, and she wiped them away.

"Come on." He said, holding his hand out to her. "Let's go eat, I'm starving."

She stared at it, her heart pounding in her chest.

For now…just for now, she could pretend…

For now…just for now, she could have courage…

Lily placed her hand in his, and let him lead her forward.

**0-0-0-0-0**

"I don't feel comfortable doing this…" Sirius said, as he followed Lily. Surprisingly, she had agreed to skipping class with him, but he hadn't expected her to bring him here.

"I just need an item." Lily said, shyly, moving around him to open the door.

"Yeah, but I'm a guy." Sirius protested. "Girls will think I'm perverted if I…"

She giggled at his squeamishness. "Sometimes men enter here too." She said. "But you can wait out here while I get what I need."

"And be caught waiting outside the store for you?" He held up his hands in defeat. "All right, I'll go, but don't think I'll do this regularly."

She giggled again and he held the door open for her as they entered.

It was bright and colorful within, the walls and the display models showcasing various underpants and bras. Sirius could feel his cheeks turn as pink as one of the underwears on the rack beside him as he looked around.

"You act as though you've never seen lingerie before." Lily noted, teasingly.

"Who would have known for a girl that is as silent as you, you'd have such a huge sense of humor?" He asked, dryly. He couldn't help but feel excited – she seemed to be warming up to him slightly. She had donned her usual appearance but at least she was talking to him now. "And why do you need to come here anyway?"

"It was on my list." She answered. "I needed a few things for my art portfolio." She said. "I need to dress the mannequin."

He fingered a lace bra momentarily. "Let me guess, Professor Trelawny?"

Lily let a ghost of a smile cross her lips. "She can be strange." She picked through some old items for a while until she found what she was looking for. "Drawers, worn in the sixties." She held them out for him to see. "I'll need to make a few adjustments so that it will look exactly like them, but this is as close as I can get."

Sirius made a face and Lily picked out a few more items before they went to cash in. The lady at the front stared at the two of them while she rang up the purchases, no doubt wondering about Lily's fashion sense and Sirius' presence. Her voice was nasal as she handed them the change and the bag. "Have a nice day."

Sirius winked. "I'll make sure we do."

The girl turned a shade of pink and Lily quickly took the items and left. He had to jog to catch up with her. "Hey come on!" Lily hunched her shoulders. "I was only joking!"

She never answered. "I really was joking." He said. "Unless it's on your mind, I would never say no."

She stopped to glare at him through her goggles. "Can you please quit talking like that?" Her voice had gained an edge and he felt a chill run down his spine.

He mumbled, "Sorry…" and stuffed his hands in his pockets. When several uneasy moments passed, he said, somewhat lamely, "If you're done here, where do you want to go next?"

Lily looked at her watch. "I've got to get home."

"All right, I'll take you."

"On your motorcycle?"

"Don't you trust me?"

She never answered right away and Sirius was about to offer to take a taxi if it would make her feel better, but she blurted, "I trust you."

He relaxed. "You don't have to force yourself." He said. "If you don't want to, we don't have to."

"It's okay, I know you wouldn't let anything happen to me."

At that, Sirius raised his eyebrows. Of all the women he knew, none had sounded more confident.

Gently, he took her by the arm. "You're right," he said, "I wouldn't. The bike's back at the school though, so we'll have to go back."

She nodded and he led her back to the school, walking in comfortable silence, with Sirius a few paces ahead of her, whistling.

The traffic seemed to be heavier than usual. It was chilly too, a sure sign that autumn would arrive at any moment and that summer was in its last phase. Somewhere in the neighborhood a dog barked, and another one responded in kind.

Lily glanced around listening to his rusty tune that was kept in beat with their footfalls. When it stopped suddenly, Lily glanced up. From under her hood, she could make out three figures up ahead, and she was suddenly very glad for Sirius' company, taking the opportunity to shrink behind him.

"Well, well, what a surprise!" One said. His voice was scratchy, as if he had just come from a cold, and it didn't match his appearance. He had a stocky build, and a small head, but Lily was certain that those arms of his could crush a tree.

"Amos." Sirius replied, neutrally.

"Haven't seen you around for a while." Amos said, throwing away what looked like a stick that he had been holding.

The man standing to the left of Amos sneered, "Turned into a teacher's pet, have you?"

Sirius let out a dry chuckle. "I'd bloody well think so – what have I missed?"

"Nothing much. But there's a race on Saturday, down by the bluffs." Was the answer. "We thought we'd check it out and gather a pool. You coming?"

"Sorry, mate." Sirius quipped. "I have plans already."

The three of them let out a groan of disappointment. Amos reached down and picked up the stick again, thumping it on the ground, eliciting a jump from Lily, who was watching them warily. "Who's the chick?"

"Lily Evans." Sirius said, moving aside and gesturing grandly. Lily looked as if he had just cast a spell to petrify her and she instinctively hunched, looking down at her feet.

All the men peered at her, and she wished that they would stop. As if sensing her discomfort, Sirius cleared his throat. "She's a trifle shy."

One of the men spat, and when he did so, the bone earring he wore on his left ear jiggled. It was quite long, nearly reaching his jaw line. "Never thought you the likes to hang out with someone like her."

"Charlie, be nice." Sirius said, his voice light. "Lily and I are under contract." As he said those words, he nudged her with his elbow. "I'm her body guard, so don't try anything foolish."

At that, Charlie barked a laugh. "Right, mate."

"Excuse us, then." Sirius strode past them, gently tugging her along behind him because she seemed to have forgotten how to walk. She expected the others to say something crude but instead, they moved out of the way, almost in a reverent fashion.

By the time they reached the parking lot, Lily was trembling from head to foot. "Are you okay?" Sirius asked.

She seemed to falter but then she nodded. She seemed to have forgotten how to speak again and he turned to face her, his handsome face creasing into a worried frown. "Lily?"

"I-I'm sorry." She said. "I…"

"They're really nice people." He told her as he led them to his motorcycle. "They won't bother you."

He seemed to sense her apprehension because he squeezed her shoulder before turning around and handing her the helmet. "There's only one." He said. "I usually don't let other people ride."

"What about you?" She asked, as she took it from him.

"Don't worry about me." He said, helping her put it on and locking it into place. "I'm an expert driver."

At that, she made a hum in response and his left hand throbbed as if to remind him of his accident just a few days ago. For the second time that day, he cleared his throat and gestured for her to hop on. "I know you don't like intimate contact, but you'll have to hold onto my waist or you'll fall…"

For a minute or so, she looked like she was about to object, but then she pursed her lips and clambered up onto the motorcycle behind him.

* * *

_**Nobody ever said moving on would be easy.**_

_**Nobody ever said moving on would be fun.**_

* * *

His hair whipped in the wind without his helmet. The fresh breeze was cold and foreign on his face, but he didn't mind it. In fact, most of his attention was riveted onto the girl behind him who was clutching onto his waist with a death grip. When he had said to hold on, he hadn't meant for her to stop him from breathing.

At the same time, he was relieved to feel her body pressed up against him because it told him that she had not fallen off. He couldn't even begin to explain his overwhelming fear at the prospect of her getting into an accident. The mere thought made his gut twist uneasily. But that wasn't the most disturbing part.

It was the thought that he was worried about another person that made him feel queasy.

Since when had he started caring?

Ever since the accident, he had detached himself from everyone. He had tried to open up once, but it had been a disaster: Bellatrix had been a mistake.

But there was something about Lily that made him feel so at ease. Maybe it was the fact that she never asked questions. Maybe it was the fact that she had so many secrets of her own. Or maybe it was the way that they fully accepted each other despite their differences.

_When she finds out who you really are, that will end_, the voice inside his head said.

He didn't want to think about it.

He was brought out of his musings when he felt Lily tug at his shirt. "I live just over there." She called, and despite her closeness, she had to yell to be heard.

Slowly, he brought the motorcycle over to the sidewalk when she instructed him to, and she clambered off. He made a move to get off his bike too, but she stopped him. "I'm fine here." She told him, hugging the package she had bought to herself protectively.

"I'll walk you." He offered, but she shook her head, her dark frames glinting in the afternoon sun.

"I'll be okay by myself." He heard a nervous edge in her voice and he had to fight the urge to ask what was wrong. Instead, he took the helmet from her as she stepped away from the vehicle. "Thank you…" she said. "For everything…"

Sirius raised his hand in salute. "Don't mention it. If you need something, call me, okay?" He fumbled around in his small compartment for a piece of paper, but only succeeded in finding an old receipt. He made do with that, using one of her pencils to quickly scribble down his number on the back.

_What am I doing?_

"I've got to keep my promise." Sirius said, ignoring his thoughts. "Don't be shy on taking it up."

Lily smiled shyly, and for a moment, Sirius thought she wouldn't accept the paper. A sense of relief filled him when she did and he nodded, satisfied. "I'll see you at school tomorrow." He said.

She nodded back, watching him slip his helmet on and fasten it into place before revving his engine and speeding away.

**0-0-0-0-0**

**Hog's Head Pub **the front of the receipt read.

In messy writing on the back, was his number.

Lily didn't know how many times she had looked at it; she had memorized it already, but she couldn't stop staring at the lines and strokes.

Sirius' face kept appearing in her mind and she remembered his words, said in a gentle tone. _"I'll save you."_

She felt like vomiting.

No one could save her.

Her fingers trembled as his next words echoed sadly in the recesses of her mind. _"I'll be your superhero."_

Tears splashed down her cheeks and she hated herself for being so cowardly – so pitiful. Why couldn't she have the courage that Sirius always seemed to have? Why did she always end up crying?

It was a tempting thought to dial his number, to hear his voice. Somehow, in some way, he always managed to calm her down. She could face her fears with the knowledge that he would nod in approval.

_But_ _if he really knew what was going on, he'd never approve,_ Lily thought, sadly, lowering the creased paper onto her lap. With her free hand she wiped her tears away – those could be shed later.

Downstairs, she heard the door slam shut and voices filter up to greet her, echoing around the overly-decorated room like haunting whispers.

"Lily!" A voice shouted. "Come down here!"

Swallowing her dread, Lily put the paper into her drawer before reluctantly rising, the sheer clothing she had on trailing the bed and the floor when she moved.

Stiffening her back, she pulled open her door and walked with (what she hoped looked like) confidence, holding her head up high. She stopped at the top of the stairs, looking down below and feeling her stomach churn again at the sight that greeted her.

There were four of them, including her uncle, staring up at her. She felt a shiver run down her spine when they looked her up and down, and it was all she could do not to try to cover herself from their leery gazes. Through the thin material of the clothing she had on, she felt naked: and she may as well have been.

Lily knew better than to hide though – the bruises she had accumulated from her last effort had finally begun to fade and those that hadn't had been efficiently masked with make up.

Her mouth was dry but she could not bring herself to swallow when her uncle smiled. "You have customers."

Making sure her face was expressionless, Lily did not argue. Inside, she wailed. _Sirius! Help me!_

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

AN: Again, I can't stress this enough: **this story does touch upon mature subject**. Please do not flame or complain. **It is rated M for a reason.**

That said, I really do apologize for the late update. I do hope to get another chapter out soon, but keep your eye out for it, I make no promises since I'm so busy. Reviews do help me to write faster as it brings out motivation, so please be kind to leave me one before exiting the window.

Thanks for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


	6. A Question of Change

**GENUINE GEMINI By: P.P.V.V.**

_Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim applies. All original characters/ideas are mine to claim though._

* * *

**AN:** Another chapter up - although how good the quality is, I don't know. I'll leave that for you guys to decide. Enjoy.

* * *

Previously: 

There were four of them, including her uncle, staring up at her. She felt a shiver run down her spine when they looked her up and down, and it was all she could do not to try to cover herself from their leery gazes. Through the thin material of the clothing she had on, she felt naked: and she may as well have been.

Lily knew better than to hide though – the bruises she had accumulated from her last effort had finally begun to fade and those that hadn't had been efficiently masked with make up.

Her mouth was dry but she could not bring herself to swallow when her uncle smiled. "You have customers."

Making sure her face was expressionless, Lily did not argue. Inside, she wailed. _Sirius! Help me!_

* * *

**CHAPTER 6**

**- The Question of Change -**

Sirius walked down the hallway, his book bag slung over his left shoulder carelessly. Beside him, Remus and Peter were arguing over the results of the basketball match that they had played in the night before.

They stopped bickering when they realized that everyone was clearing them a wide berth whenever they approached. Peter narrowed his small eyes. "All right, Sirius, what did you do?"

The dark haired boy turned around with an innocent expression on his face. "I didn't do anything." He said.

Remus exchanged glances with Peter as Sirius collided with a female student and that student scrambled away, apologizing in a stammering tone. The usual smiles and hugs that their friend got from girls didn't seem to be coming.

There had to be something wrong.

"Oh, Lily!"

They focused on a girl bundled tightly in a dark green coat who appeared to be trying to blend into the wall but not having much success. She flinched upon hearing Sirius' voice but instead of bolting, she turned to face him.

"Hey, you didn't come to first period." Sirius said, running up to her. "Listen, I'm in a pinch: do you have Philosophy? If you do, can I borrow your text because I forgot to bring mine."

Without a word, the girl opened her locker and handed it to him. "Are you sure you won't be needing it?"

She shook her head and froze when she saw that he had company.

Seeing her reaction, Sirius looked over his shoulder. "Oh. Right. These are my friends, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew." He said, waving his hand in their direction. "Guys, don't get too close," he informed them, "she's afraid of the opposite sex."

"That tells us a lot about your interaction." Remus breathed, and beside him, Peter had to fight to keep a straight face at his flippant remark.

If Sirius heard it, he did not show it. "You've got nothing to be scared of with these two." He said to Lily, using his thumb to indicate them. "They're completely harmless save for the fact that they could probably make you laugh until you drop with their_awesome sense of humour_."

"Nice to meet you." Remus said smoothly, nodding. "You're Lily Evans, right?"

The girl did not respond, but merely backed up until she hit her locker door and could move no further.

A moment of awkwardness passed between them until Peter piped up. "Well then…we'll be late for class…"

Remus seemed more than happy to latch onto an excuse to get him out of the situation. "Right… Are you coming Sirius?"

Sirius looked between them and finally nodded. "Yeah. I'll see you at lunch?" He asked Lily, who gave the slightest of nods and the three of them left.

As they walked away, Peter noted, "She's not the type that you usually talk to."

Remus jumped in on the bandwagon. "That's true, mate. You've already lost the bet: since when do you continue to hang out with someone like Evans?"

Their friend pulled his hand through his wavy locks, a half grin on his face. "She's different: she's not what you expect."

Peter snorted. "I'll say – far from beautiful and far from friendly."

At that, Sirius was sorely tempted to contradict him, but Remus cut in on his thoughts. "Let's have another bet."

A pang of suspicion cut through Sirius, but he was cornered: he never backed down on a bet and the bastard knew it. Nonchalantly, he tucked the textbook under his arm and asked, "What is it?"

"A hundred bucks flat on, again." Remus told him, a glint in his eye.

"That's a lot coming from you, cheap ass." Sirius growled, playfully.

Remus leaned forward. "Oh, but see, I know I won't lose this one."

Peter impatiently said, "Let's have it then!"

Straightening, Remus held up a finger and lowered his voice so that no one else in the hallway could hear him. "The bet is for Sirius to get Evans to sleep with him by the end of the week." He said.

It felt as if he had punched Sirius in the gut. It took a moment for the latter to gather his breath. "Are you fucking insane?" He demanded, angrily, and it made his friend back up a bit.

Having sex with a woman was one thing.

Having sex with Lily Evans was another.

It wasn't going to happen.

He didn't know why he was so angry. Maybe it was the way Lily seemed so vulnerable, so fragile, and so frightened that made him so protective. With her, he didn't need physical pleasure – he couldn't even imagine it.

"I told you, she's different." He explained, trying to regain his calm. He was surprised at himself for the way he had snapped so easily.

Remus seemed a bit cautious this time when he spoke. "You said yourself that no one could resist your charm. You've got the power to get anyone to do anything you wanted them to."

Sirius smoothly covered his discomfort with a grin. "Ah, and that is precisely why this bet will not work. I don't sleep with people who aren't willing." _And trust me, Lily is far from willing_, he added, silently. He swept his arm out dramatically. "Besides, I'm rough in bed. She'd probably break."

Peter rolled his eyes. "You sound like you're in love." He said, distastefully. "If you don't want to because she's ugly, just close your eyes." He made a face at Sirius' noncommittal grunt. "Does that mean you're backing out? The almighty Black won't make a bet over something he usually wouldn't blink an eye at?"

Sirius found his locker and stopped by it, twirling the padlock's knob to the correct combination. "You're really starting to piss me off." He sighed.

Peter raised an eyebrow. "Should I be scared?"

Scowling, Sirius shoved his notes he had taken from the previous class into the locker. "Just be glad that you're a friend."

Remus elbowed Sirius aside, taking his place in front of the locker. "If all you need is her permission, then it won't hurt to ask." He said, reaching in and grabbing a notebook that Sirius had borrowed from him and had forgotten to return. "Who knows? She might fall for your undeniable charm."

"You're just jealous you don't have any." Sirius responded, sounding smug.

It was Remus' turn to scowl. "I bet even I could get Evans to sleep with me." As he closed the locker door, he gave a startled jump when he saw a figure standing right behind it.

"E-Evans!"

The girl was watching him silently, her eyes wide behind the tinted goggles. Sirius couldn't help but smile. Her appearance had been so convenient. She stepped back as Remus leaned against the locker, his face turning crimson.

Even Peter seemed apologetic. "He didn't mean it…" He began to say, but Lily was already hunched over, ignoring him.

Instead, she moved over to Sirius, who seemed amused at her sudden appearance. "Did you forget to give me something?" He wondered aloud, seeing that she carried a bag with her.

When she never responded, he had to remind himself that she had gone back into her shell. It seemed she had a long way to go before she could trust her voice around others. Instead, he reached out a hand and she placed the package in it, before turning and darting away.

Peter hovered anxiously around Sirius' shoulder. "That was weird." He commented.

It bugged Sirius to know that he found her actions normal when he would have otherwise thought as his friend did. Clearly, his friends were right: he was changing and he disliked the thought very much. It could ruin the image he had tried so hard to build and he wasn't about to let that happen.

"What is it?" Remus asked, looking to finally have recovered from his earlier embarrassment.

It was the jacket that Sirius had draped around her the other day, after her incident with Bellatrix.

Sirius threw out some bait. "My clothes."

Remus rose up and bit it. "You son of a bitch." He murmured. And then, the three of them laughed.

"The bet's not going to happen." Sirius said, when they had calmed down enough. "Trust me, I've already tried. She seems completely turned off to the idea – if I were to get her into bed, I'd only result in hurting her because she's definitely not going to be ready." He tossed the bag into his locker before slamming it shut and securing it.

Peter let out a low whistle. "Sirius has a girl he wasn't able to shag…she's _got_ to be special."

They didn't have time to say anything more though, because the bell rang, signalling the start of period two, and they parted ways, promising to meet up again before lunch.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Remus was troubled.

The rumours that he had heard were not pretty, but at the same time, he didn't want to test and see if they were true.

Sirius stood with his back to him, looking down over the railing as he casually puffed on a cigarette, breathing out slowly so that the smoke came out in a thin streak-like line.

He wasn't wearing his jacket despite the chill in the morning air. Today, he looked even shabbier than normal, but the look wasn't unbecoming. Remus hated it that his friend didn't even have to try to look good.

It was almost infuriating.

Fuck that men didn't think of their appearances.

For a long while, neither of them spoke, and Remus sighed inwardly. As stubborn as ever, Sirius would never show his emotions. He knew that Sirius was probably afraid of letting them show. The last time he could remember that happening was when Sirius dated Bellatrix – and that was what frightened him the most.

The two had been close – almost inseparable.

For Sirius to almost kill her was shocking.

So, Remus hung back, a little ways from Sirius, trying to think of a way to bring up the subject without setting off the quick temper he knew his friend tended to have.

When Sirius started chuckling, Remus tensed. "You know," the dark-haired boy said, "it's cool if girls check me out, but it's kinda creepy when you got guys doing it too."

Reddening, Remus cleared his throat. "I wasn't checking you out – you're enough of an eyesore as it is." He strode forward then, to lean his back on the railing, letting the wind ruffle his hair and his clothing in a soothing manner before getting straight to the point. "Sirius, why'd you have to go so far as to hurt Lestrange?"

Sirius flicked the ashes to his cigarette away, the burnt pieces littering the sky momentarily before falling to the ground by their feet. "She pissed me off." Was the noncommittal response.

"Suffocation?" Remus pressed. "Hell, man! You left fucking marks on her! Do you_want _to get arrested?"

"It was nothing she didn't deserve." Sirius snapped. "And she wouldn't dare go to the police. If she wants to play politics, I have cards up my sleeve."

"That response won't please the authorities." Remus muttered. "There had to be a _plausible _reason…"

"Don't go using big words on me, Lupin." Said Sirius, smirking. "And there was: Bellatrix hurt Lily. I already warned her to stay away from her, so she got what was coming."

That caused Remus to push away from the railing. "I won't ask you to tell me the whole story, but answer me this: why the heck would you even care? The Sirius I know wouldn't bother to lift a finger to help another person who was being bullied. In fact, I believe he would be the one initiating the bullying." It was his turn to smirk. "Don't tell me you suddenly got a conscience."

Sirius jabbed his cigarette butt in Remus' direction. "You're pushing your luck too."

"If I didn't know better, I think you're sweet on Evans." Remus put in.

His friend looked down the railing, twirling whatever was left of his cigarette between his fingers.

And then, he dropped it, crushing the stalk beneath his feet resolutely before turning to face his friend. "So, what if I am?"

"You're not serious…" When Sirius never responded, Remus incredulously remarked, "You fancy Evans? Are you sure you didn't hit your head that day in your accident?"

The look in Sirius' eyes made Remus regret his words. There was a sort of disappointment and hurt, and it caused him to swallow. "Forget it." Sirius muttered. "You wouldn't understand."

"You're right, I don't. Enlighten me." Remus said.

"She's different from all those other girls." Sirius said, scratching at the stubble on his cheek.

"You can say that again." Remus muttered.

Feigning innocence, Sirius shrugged. "So she's not exactly eye-catching…but there's something about her that I can relate with. She's running from something, Remus. I want to know what."

"You're running from something too." Remus pointed out. "Maybe you should face that before you help someone else."

Sirius looked away and pursed his lips. "I can't face it alone."

"And you think Evans can help you?"

Remus was expecting his friend to deny it: to tell him that no one would be able to save him from his misery, that there was no way he could ever accept his past - the past that he had purposely forced himself to forget.

Sirius sucked in a breath and puffed out his cheeks before letting the air out in a rush. "Yeah – yeah I do."

His friend drummed his fingers impatiently on the railing. "Well...do what you want to, but I just hope that she doesn't end up hurting you like...you know who…"

Sirius didn't answer, rather, he squatted down by the railing stared up at the sky. It was a bright blue – so bright that it hurt his eyes and made them water. He wished he were as free as those birds that flew through them, without an obstacle in their path…without a care in the world.

Remus watched him uneasily and his friend shot him a glare. "Say what you want to say and get it over with."

Bringing a hand up to rub at his forehead, Remus broke eye contact and scuffed the toe of his shoe. "Look, I know it's not my place…but have you thought about what Evans' reaction will be when you tell her about your history?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Bellatrix didn't take to it kindly."

Sirius swore then, bouncing on the balls of his feet before standing upright once more. Before he could say anything more, Remus cut in. "Are you willing to change just for her?"

Change.

"I don't want to talk any more." Sirius announced, stuffing his hands into his pockets and marching to the landing's door, leaving Remus standing by the railing watching after him.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Lily slowly climbed the stairs, wincing at the pain she felt in her lower back. It was fiercer today than it ever was before, but she refused to give in to it.

The men last night had been rather abusive, and as she climbed, her legs trembled at the memory.

She was tired.

So tired…

If anything, she wanted everything to just end.

Why Fate had decided to put her in such a horrible situation, she had no clue. She couldn't help but wish that she could live a normal life – or be invisible.

As Lily made her way to the square, she relished in the thought that she could get away from reality again, by burying herself in her drawings. Drawings that depicted a perfect place. Drawings that she poured her soul into.

She liked that Sirius had been able to see and appreciate them. While she didn't think they were exactly the greatest, she liked the way he didn't criticize her art. Something about him always made her feel good.

Perhaps it was the way he always lifted her up, without fail.

Or maybe it was because he was different from what she had anticipated.

At first, he seemed the type who was disdainful about everything to the point that he became violent and dangerous. But now she saw that he was definitely as far away from that thought as possible. If anything, he was more sensitive than she was.

Either way, Lily was grateful for it.

With Sirius, she felt safe.

With Sirius, she felt like she could take on the world.

So that was why she made up her mind: she would tell him everything. She hadn't had the heart to call him. What she was about to say was something that should be said face-to-face.

And she hoped that he wouldn't look at her disdainfully.

The thought of what she was about to do made her stomach flop uneasily and once or twice, she stopped on the stairs, wanting to turn back and forgo the matter all together.

But she pushed herself forward – if she was to hang out with him, he had to know what he was getting himself into.

It was better to tell him sooner than later.

But what if he didn't come?

Or worse yet, what if he decided to tell everyone else when he found out?

What if…?

Outside, a chill was in the air, and she was grateful for the coat she wore. The square seemed inviting and overhead, the Clock Tower tolled the Lunch Time hour, causing a flock of birds to scatter from their perches. She watched them, fascinated, before making her way to the railing.

The butterflies were bouncing all over the place, but Lily stiffened her resolve and began to rehearse what she would say.

Her heart threatened to burst when she heard the door bang open behind her and she turned around to see Sirius standing just within.

He stared at her for a long moment before striding toward her slowly in a loping way, his pale hands coming up to ruffle at his hair.

Lily grinned: he had come after all.

"Sirius," she began, "I have something I want to tell you-"

But he stopped in front of her, shoving his hands into his pockets, saying, "-I don't want to see you any more."

The bluntness of his words caused Lily to step back in confusion. He sounded…angry…and unexpectedly, tears sprung up into her eyes as he gave her another measured look, before stepping back and turning away to go inside again. "I don't want to see you again." He said again, roughly. After which, he hurried into the building.

Stunned, Lily watched him leave – had someone already told him? Did he somehow figure it out?

Maybe he didn't like the way she was timid after all. Or maybe she had said something that upset him.

She felt rooted to her place as Sirius slammed the door shut behind him. It was as though someone slammed the door to Lily's heart and the pain she had so carefully locked away began to flood through her.

She had thought she could trust him…

She had thought she could tell him everything…

She had thought…

Her back hit the railing behind her – she hadn't even realized that she had moved from her place - and Lily looked down at the fall below.

Surely nothing could hurt more than what she was feeling now.

Surely there was a way to end the pain.

She could end it all right then and there.

Tears blinding her, she gripped the railing and took a deep breath.

It would only hurt for a moment.

After that…

_Release._

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

**AN: **I know it was rather short, but I left it there because it just felt like the right place to stop. Please review before exiting the window.

Until the next update, thank you for reading,

-P.P.V.V.

* * *


	7. Cowardice

GENUINE GEMINI  
by: P.P.V.V.

_Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim applies. All original characters/ideas are mine to claim though._

* * *

AN: Hi everyone. Sorry I'm so late in posting – my computer did this thing where it crashed and I had to re-write this file all over again. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten. I hope you enjoy it.

**Warnings: It gets serious and rather detailed in this chapter. Please continue at your own discretion.**

Onward!

* * *

_Previously: _

_Sirius stopped in front of her, shoving his hands into his pockets, saying, "-I don't want to see you any more."_

_The bluntness of his words caused Lily to step back in confusion. He sounded…angry…and unexpectedly, tears sprung up into her eyes as he gave her another measured look, before stepping back and turning away to go inside again. "I don't want to see you again." He said again, roughly. After which, he hurried into the building._

_She had thought she could trust him…_

_She had thought she could tell him everything…_

_Surely there was a way to end the pain._

_She could end it all right then and there…_

* * *

**Chapter 7: **

**- Cowardice -**

Lily pushed away from the railing after a few minutes. No, she would not commit suicide. The concept had not been a new one. In fact, several times, she had tried to follow through with it, but being the coward that she was, she never had the courage to.

She still didn't have the courage to…

Lily bit her lip in order to suppress a sob.

She should have known better than to try and open her heart up to someone.

Bellatrix was right: who could like such a pathetic wimp?

The pain of her lower lip starting to bleed caused her to wince and she absently brought her hand to wipe it before taking a deep breath.

As much as she didn't want to go back down into the school, she knew she had to. Life continued despite her misery: it always did. And she would just have to live with it, as she always had.

Taking another calming breath, Lily made sure that the hood around her head was secure in its place before striding to those same stairs that Sirius had fled down just moments before.

Behind her, the Bell Tower struck the signal for the third class of the day and she picked up her pace.

_Normal_, she chided herself as she hurried to her English class. _Everything will go back to normal._

But normal for Lily Evans was not exactly normal for others. To Lily, normal was staying in the shadows, hiding from the world.

Professor McGonogall was already in class, standing at the front, giving her students her famous intolerant stare.

"Mr. McMillan, if you don't want to have detention after school, then I suggest you quit trying to pass that note to Miss Tonks." She said, and McMillan flushed at being caught red-handed.

It just went to show that nothing escaped the Professor's eye.

Lily ignored all the commotion and took her seat in the corner of the class, closest to the window, where she would normally go unnoticed, but today, as she passed, she could hear whispers follow her. Some students watched her blatantly, while others shot cautious glances over their shoulders.

What they were thinking, Lily had no clue, but the looks stopped coming her way when the Professor began her lecture.

The passage was about Chaucer, a topic that most were not interested in. It was not very difficult to see why: the man's poetry was about as hard to decipher as a different language, and no one knew what he was trying to say.

"Does anyone know a famous work of Chaucer?" Professor McGonogall asked, halfway through the period, after they had gone through the details of the man's private life.

Everyone stared at her blankly.

"Anyone?"

Again, she was greeted with silence.

Disappointment wrote itself on the Professor's face. "Well, in that case…" she began to say, but all of a sudden, the door to the class opened and in strut Sirius, as if he had all the time in the world to waste. His shoulder-length hair had been tied back into a small ponytail at the base of his neck, his bangs not included because they were too short. These he flipped back as he walked, causing some of the girls in the class to giggle and stare and he winked at them when he passed.

McGonogall sighed, "Mr. Black, why are you late this time?"

Sirius turned to face her. "Oh, sorry about that, Professor." He said, feigning innocence. "Have you started already?" He made a show of squinting at the board. "Ah, Chaucer, I see." He snapped his fingers. "Jolly fellow."

"Take your seat, Mr. Black." She commanded, in a long-suffering way.

Grinning, Sirius sat down at the nearest available unoccupied desk and folded his hands together. "Didn't he write something like…The Canterbury Tales?"

That seemed to take McGonogall's attention away from his tardiness because she jumped on his tidbit of information. "Exactly!" She said. "Excellent, Mr. Black! I was starting to think I'd have to assign you all to do research on Chaucer, but I suppose there are a few of you who _do_ know about our famous poet and writer."

A few people let out breaths of relief while a few others clapped Sirius on the shoulders to show their gratitude when the Professor turned to the board again.

Lily stared at the back of his head.

He was acting like he always did, as if nothing had happened earlier that day. He never once looked her way, as if she did not exist.

Well, that was fine by her.

She looked away and down at her notes just as Sirius turned his gaze to her. Guilt ate at him, but he was not allowed to dwell on the matter for too long because Jared was poking him in the shoulder.

"Is it true?" He was asking, "That you really strangled Bellatrix Lestrange yesterday?"

Sirius should have known the rumors would spread quickly. He held his tongue though – let them think whatever they wanted. When he never responded, Jared shared a look with the rest of his friends. "Shit! She must have done something that pissed you off."

Sirius gave him a strained grin. "_You're _starting to piss me off. If you don't be quiet, maybe you'll find yourself with a nice, crushed windpipe."

Everyone chuckled at that, and Jared turned beet red. They were unable to continue their talk because Professor McGonogall cracked down on them quickly. When they all turned to face the front again, Sirius stole another glance at Lily, who had hunched herself over her desk, writing notes furiously.

She would be fine without him.

He would be fine without her.

In truth, he was afraid of her – and Sirius Black was not afraid of anyone. But she had a way of making him lose his guard. Heck, he had believed that he was starting to like her, and that in itself was frightening. Not only would his reputation be ruined by going out with someone who tried to alienate herself, but he was afraid that she would reveal his secrets.

Remus was right: he wasn't ready to tell anyone about his history.

But deep down, he knew that it was because he didn't want her to think of him as a monster.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Peter tossed the basketball from one hand to the other absently as he took in what Remus was saying. "That's impossible." He said, at last. "Sirius would never hurt Lestrange, no matter how angry he got. The man still loves her."

"Keep it down, will you?" Remus hissed, seeing Sirius enter the gymnasium. "You're right about that – even if he swears on his grave that he hates Bellatrix, I know that he still has some feelings for her. I can't believe it happened either."

"I hope you guys aren't talking about me behind my back." Sirius called, interrupting their conversation. The two hastily broke apart and endeavored to put on smiles. Peter waved the dark-haired boy over and he joined them promptly. "Are you guys finished practice yet?" He asked.

"We haven't even started." Peter sighed.

"Damn, I was hoping to go for some drinks." Sirius said.

Remus laughed. "It's not even four yet, Sirius. You're planning on getting drunk already?"

Sirius shrugged. "I can wait until later tonight. We can meet up at Hog's Head Pub after my work." He suggested. "The drinks will be on me."

"I'm in." Peter announced.

"You?" Remus sounded distasteful at the thought of Peter drinking. "You're the worst: don't think I'll carry you home again if you get drunk."

It was Peter's turn to laugh. "Aw, come on, that's what friends are for." At that moment, the Coach's whistle blew and he asked, "Are you coming?"

Remus nodded. "Yeah." He turned to Sirius. "All right there, mate? You seem a bit agitated."

Sirius bared his teeth slightly. "I told you before, Remus – don't use big words on me. And I'll be just fine. I'm holding you to drinks tonight."

"I'm there." Remus promised him, and he watched as his best friend loped out of the gymnasium.

Peter bounced the ball in his hand impatiently. "Let's go." He said, as the Coach's whistle blew again.

But Remus wasn't paying attention any more. "Actually, you go on ahead: I'll be right there. Tell the Coach I'm going to the washroom."

Peter frowned. "What? But…" Remus didn't wait for his protest, leaving the gymnasium as well, his running shoes squeaking against the floor as he ran out. Sighing, Peter left it at that and turned to meet up with the rest of the team who had begun to huddle around Madam Hooch.

Remus didn't go to the washroom. Instead, he made a beeline to the football courts outside, where he hoped he would find who he was looking for.

Classes had finished an hour ago, yet there were still some people who were milling around, either in groups chatting, busy in their after school clubs, or trying to catch up on some missed homework.

A few people he passed greeted him, but Remus did not take the time to chat with them. He wanted to talk to one person – and he was determined to make that person give him answers.

He hurried past the tan-colored lockers and open classroom doors. Twice, he nearly collided with a Professor, and twice he nearly slipped on newly-mopped floors. He could vaguely hear the sounds of cheering and clapping and he followed them outside.

The sun was still in the sky, but it looked ready to set, casting off warm rays of orange and gold, making the grass on the football field look like the color of burnt toast.

Short of breath, Remus stopped at the edge, scanning it quickly. There was a tournament going on, and the cheerleaders stood to the side by the bleachers, waving their green and silver pom-poms and screaming at the top of their lungs.

To his disappointment, Bellatrix was not there. She was the captain of the cheerleading squad…why wasn't she present?

According to Leanne, she had not been allowed to participate that day and had been told to go back into the school to get changed.

So, Remus reluctantly turned back to the school, sprinting up the stairs.

Why the heck was her locker all the way up on the fourth floor?

When he finally made it up there, he was disappointed to see that the hall was empty.

"Remus?"

The sound of someone saying his name nearly made him jump out of his skin. He turned to see Bellatrix staring at him with a puzzled expression on her face. Her dark hair fell in waves around her face and she peered at him from beneath her bangs. "Is something wrong?" She was holding her cheerleader's uniform in her hand.

He took a deep breath. "I need to talk with you." He gasped.

Uncertainly, she smiled. "All right…"

Remus stepped back, noticing that she pulled at her collar.

A turtleneck.

Without thinking, he reached out, took hold of the black cloth and made to pull it down, but she slapped his hands away.

"What do you think you're doing?!" She cried, putting her hands up defensively and stepping back.

Realizing what she was accusing him of doing, Remus felt his cheeks heat up. "N-no! It wasn't…I didn't…it's not like that!" He spluttered. "I just wanted to…" he could feel the heat crawl up to his ears. "You're wearing a turtleneck today…"

Bellatrix hesitated, looking away momentarily. "So what if I'm wearing a turtleneck?" She asked, defensively.

"Are you hiding something?" He bluntly asked.

"What? Just because I'm wearing a turtleneck doesn't mean that I'm hiding something."

Now Remus was certain. "Sirius hurt you yesterday, didn't he – strangled you? It wasn't just a rumor, was it?" She winced at his demanding tone. "You're covering it up, right? That's why you're wearing the turtleneck!"

"Why don't you mind your own business?" She snapped. She did not like the way he sounded so angry. "What's it to you, anyway?"

He pulled his hand back. "I didn't mean anything by it." He said, apologetically. Then, in a softer tone, he added, "I was just worried about you."

She narrowed her eyes. "Maybe you should be more worried about your friend." She said, her voice gaining an edge.

"So Sirius _did_ do something to you." When she never responded, he tried again. "Please Bellatrix: I really _am_ worried about you. I never knew Sirius to be so aggressive like this. Especially towards you."

For a moment, Remus was certain that Bellatrix would tell him off, but she sighed and closed her eyes, peeling back the edge to the sweater by her neck, revealing an ugly bruise that coursed its way around in a circular manner.

He was so surprised that he cursed out loud and she quickly covered it up again. "Merlin! Belle!"

Her eyes filled with tears. "I…"

He grabbed her shoulders. "What happened?" He demanded. "Why would he do that?"

"It was my fault." She said. "I didn't think he was serious, but…all of a sudden, he was just in a rage. And he told me that he would kill me if I ever thought to hurt her again…" Remembering the whole ordeal seemed to make her even more upset and Remus shook her gently.

"Whoa, slow down. I don't understand."

Bellatrix shook her head and leaned against a locker that still had remnants of birthday decorations posted on it. A streamer rested itself on her shoulder, the pink color bright against the darkness of her sweater but she didn't seem to notice. "I was pretty mean to Evans." She admitted. "I had my girls help me…well…let's just say we got Evans good. But then Sirius found out…and he went crazy." A haunted look entered her eyes as she spoke. "He promised me that he wouldn't just suffocate me if I ever thought to do it again." At the last sentence, her voice broke and the tears slipped down her cheeks. "I don't get it, Remus…why would he choose Evans over me?"

Awkwardly, Remus put a hand to her head. "I don't get it either, Bellatrix. I wanted to be sure…I wanted to know if the rumors were true…did you report him?"

She brought her face up to look at him. "No matter what he did to hurt me, I'd never turn him in!" She cried.

He exhaled slowly. "Good. Thanks. I don't think he needs that right now."

Embarrassed for her tears, Bellatrix wiped them away. "What did he tell you, Remus?"

Remus stared off down the hallway, thinking. "He told me…that he thought you got what was coming…and he also said he fancied Evans because she was different." He trained his gray eyes on her again. "He says he believes Evans can be the one to help him."

She made a sort of whine at that. "Evans can't even help herself!" She cried. "That girl is so weak that she won't lift a finger to defend herself – what can she do for him?"

"But if Sirius went that far, he must be serious." Remus pointed out, quietly. So, his friend hadn't been lying to him. It must have meant that everything else they'd talked about was true too.

Bellatrix clenched her fists. "If I just…"

"Don't, Belle." Remus warned. "Don't. You've had your chance. You blew it. Sirius isn't the type to forgive and forget."

Another tear fell down her cheek. "I didn't mean to treat him that way…I was shocked back then…I…" She shifted her feet uneasily. "I said I was sorry. I still love him!"

Remus decided not to comment on that. "I don't think Evans can help either." He said at last. "But I don't want to tell him what to do. I don't want to stop something before it even happens."

Bellatrix sniffed. "How do you know that she won't end up hurting him too?"

"I don't." Remus shrugged. "But it's not my place to run his life. All I can do is support him however much I don't want to."

"So you don't want Evans for him either?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Truthfully?" When she nodded, he let out a breath. "No."

"Then help me get back together with him." Bellatrix urged.

"If I had it my way, I'd rather it be like that." Remus told her. "But I don't want him to turn that wrath on me if he finds out." He shook his head. "No. Maybe when he realizes that his fancy of Evans is ridiculous, he'll come back to his senses."

Crestfallen, Bellatrix knew he was right. Sirius was one stubborn man. She suddenly wished she had not fallen in love with him

She snapped out of her thoughts when Remus asked, "Does it still hurt?" Referring to her bruise, of course.

She fingered her neck. "Not as much as it did." She said.

"I'm sorry, Bellatrix…" he said.

"Don't be, Remus." She assured him. "And don't worry, I won't tell any of the authorities. The whole rumor got out because my sweater caught onto my jacket's zipper when I was taking it off, and Leanne saw it. She figured out who did it and the whole thing spread like wildfire." She plucked at the black turtleneck in resignation. "I'll be wearing these types of tops for a while. I can't even cheerlead until it heals completely."

"Are you all right, though?" He asked.

She gave him a small smile. "I'll be all right."

He returned an alarmed look. "What will you do about Evans?"

Bellatrix huffed. "I'm not _that_ stupid, Lupin! I'll stay out of their way, if that's what you're asking. Even though I won't like it."

He relaxed a little, a smile coming to his lips as well. "I'll try to find a way to convince Sirius." He said.

She pushed away from the locker, gratefully. And it was only then that she glanced down at his attire. "Don't you have basketball practice?"

Remus looked down at his red and gold jersey. The word _Gryffindor Lions_ stared up at him proudly over the picture of a roaring lion. "Oh man! I totally forgot! Madam Hooch is going to chew me out!"

**0-0-0-0-0**

Drinking that night had been cancelled because Peter had to finish a paper he had forgotten was due the next day, and Remus suddenly got a call from his grandmother asking to be picked up from the airport.

That left Sirius alone to waste the night away.

Billiards was fun. So far, Sirius had won a lot of cash and he had three girls pressed around him, cheering him on.

The place was fairly empty save for his competition, a group of guys who had invited him to play with them. Well, he was up for the challenge, and so far, he was doing pretty good.

The smell of cigarettes was strong in the air, clinging to his clothing, his skin, his hair, but he didn't care. In fact, he was indulging in a roll, sucking it in and holding the smoke so that he could feel it swirling around in his lungs before letting out his breath in a thin stream adding to the grayness that was already present in a thick fog. After this game, he'd get a drink, like he had intended to earlier.

Bending down, he aimed for the white ball and was pleased to see that it complied in settling him another couple of holes.

They had been playing for a little over two hours already, and he was getting tired. Well, work that day hadn't exactly been very easy. He was a Shipper, so he always had to haul heavy loads. This would be his last game for the night, he decided.

"Hold this for me." He said to the brunette to his right. He handed her his cue stick before reaching up to remove his shirt. Damn, it was hot in the room! Exposed skin didn't help much but at least he didn't feel so restricted.

He felt someone touch his back intimately and it brought a sense of pleasure. It was the brunette and he took the cue stick back from her, flashing her a grin. "Thanks, hon." He said, exchanging the cue stick for his shirt.

She let her fingers trail over his tattoo before retracting.

The game finished with him as the victor, and the guys finally gave up. Luckily, they weren't sour about the outcome or else there would have been a nasty fight that Sirius was just not up to having to deal with.

They left ahead of him after coughing up their promised bet, taking the girls with them.

Sirius stayed behind, leaning against one of the pool tables, finishing off another cigarette before stuffing his winnings in his pocket. He had just managed to crush the stalk in the closest ash tray when he stopped – the brunette was back.

"Your shirt." She said simply.

He stared at her, wordlessly, as she held it out to him. He took it, but wrapped his fingers around her hand as he did. She made no move to pull away, and he knew where the rest of the night would lead. "Hey, do you want to get a drink with me?" He asked.

To his surprise, the girl wrinkled her nose. "I don't even know your name."

"I don't know yours either." He pointed out with a chuckle, never breaking eye contact.

She knew exactly what he was thinking, he was certain. "Marinelle Davies." She said, smoothly.

"Sirius Black." He replied, automatically. "So, what do you say, Marinelle? Does a drink interest you?"

The drink was not all that interested her, Sirius found out later. She had other plans that he was more than happy to follow.

The girl was surprisingly good at drinking. He couldn't keep up with her, and he was amused to see that she could keep such a leveled head. Sirius, on the other hand, was already starting to feel sick to the stomach. A nice, buzzing feeling was in his head though, and so he didn't really pay attention to the roiling in his gut.

Maybe he was a bit drunk because by the time they stumbled into a dark room, Sirius could not remember how they had gotten there – or where exactly he was. All he knew was the feel of the girl's flesh on his and that made all reason fly out of his head.

Her lips against his were intoxicating and he pushed her roughly against the wall his hands making their way under her skirt. Marinelle let out a grunt as he began to bite her neck, his hands trailing the material of her underwear. He smiled against her skin when he felt her tremble.

His fingers found her womanhood and slipped in, moving slowly.

She was like every other girl, melting like putty underneath him. He loved the power he felt when it came to sex. He loved the adrenaline pump and the ecstasy of reaching a climax.

He could not understand what Lily was so apprehensive about.

"Sirius?"

He blinked and realized that his actions had stopped. Marinelle was standing before him, her shirt open, her chest heaving. Her lips were swollen and her hair was disheveled. Somehow, her alluring shape and face did not look quite as appealing as it had before.

Suddenly he felt no desire to sleep with the person in front of him. Instead, the sick feeling twisted in his stomach as his thoughts turned once again to Lily and her green eyes.

He absently swatted Marinelle's hands away when she made to reach for his belt buckle and began to move his fingers inside her again roughly. She cried out in surprise when she suddenly hit her climax, her body shaking as he finished her off with quick, knowing, practice.

As she gasped for breath, he bent forward to leave a kiss on her temple. "Sorry, hon." He whispered intimately in her ear. "I have something I have to do. Maybe some other night we can pick up where we left off?"

Marinelle whimpered when he parted from her and swiftly bent to pick up his shirt that he had discarded when he had been lost in the heat of the moment. Sirius didn't wait for her answer and left the room, his head surprisingly clearer than it had been earlier.

He was pissed.

He didn't understand why Lily's image came to mind and haunted him like that. What made him even more upset was the thought that he felt guilty toward her.

The night air was cool against his skin when he stepped out of the bar. On the crowded streets of London, there was hardly any activity save for a few cars that rumbled by. Overhead, the street lamps had been turned on, two or three of them flickering as they cast a hazy glow on the quiet neighborhood.

A few convenience stores stood open, but even they were starting to close down for the night.

Sirius craned his head up to look at one of the buildings in front of him, relishing in the quiet. And then, without warning, he doubled over and began to vomit, his knees smacking the hard concrete when he suddenly collapsed.

His eyes watered as he staggered to his feet. His stomach felt as though it were boiling with acid, but there was nothing left to heave, so he forced himself to move forward toward his bike.

When he had successfully found it, he cursed out loud when he couldn't get his fingers to grasp his helmet. He let his head sink down onto the seat of his motorcycle as he tried to gather his bearing. If he tried to drive, he'd probably end up getting into another accident. The best course was to take a taxi home, but the chances of a taxi driving by every five minutes were very slim.

Somehow, he managed to get his cell phone out of his pocket and dial a number. He heard Charlie's voice pick up. "Sirius?" His friend asked, sounding very surprised.

"I'm drunk…" Sirius heard himself say. "…Wanna get home…"

"What am I, a chauffer?" Charlie complained. When Sirius sighed in response, he demanded, "Where are you?"

"Hog…I think…pub…" Sirius managed to say. His tongue felt thick. He didn't want to talk any more because the feeling in his stomach was heightening and he desperately didn't want to throw up again.

"Fuck it, I'll be there in a moment." Charlie said. "Don't move from that spot." And with that, he cut the line, and lowered his head against his motorcycle again, resigned to wait…

* * *

**Look in the mirror, what do you see?**

"**I see you, staring back at me."**

* * *

When Sirius woke, he was rolled up in a corner in a very uncomfortable position. His head had been tucked under layers and layers of blankets, his arms and legs twisted in a distorted way.

For a moment, he panicked.

Before he could react, however, the door opened, letting in a shaft of light in the pitch darkness.

Squinting at the unwelcome brightness, Sirius turned his head up slightly to see Charlie frowning down at him.

"All right there, mate?" He asked.

Blinking, Sirius tried to pull himself into a sitting position as the events from the night before came back to him. His head throbbed as a reminder, and after he had managed to disentangle himself, he pressed his hands to his forehead with a groan.

"Charlie…too bright…" he complained.

His friend rolled his eyes. "Come on, you prat. Get out of my closet already and sleep on a normal bed like a human being."

Sirius growled. He didn't like the light at all and he tried to retreat further back in the closet that he had claimed for himself.

"Close the door." He said, reaching out his hands in an attempt to bring back the blessed darkness.

Charlie seemed to want to argue but then he shrugged and closed the door to the closet again. His voice came from behind the wood. "I'll close the windows and all, but you've got to come out of there sooner or later."

Sirius gave him a noncommittal grunt as he pushed himself to his feet. His whole body felt numb and he tried to shake some feeling back into them.

The closet was cramped though and he couldn't stretch his muscles at all. He hit his head on the shelf overhead and cursed out loud, fumbling for the doorknob to let himself out.

He was relieved to see that Charlie had kept his word, closing all the lights and turning down the shades so that the sunlight could not filter in.

Charlie's room was small – so small that Sirius could have sworn there was more room in the closet. But despite how tiny the space seemed to be, a bed and a chest of drawers fit just in the corner. He caught sight of his reflection in the mirror and his heart seemed to jump up into his throat.

"I called Lupin." Charlie informed him, taking one step forward. "He's coming to get you."

Sirius didn't hear him, feeling like his body was made of wood as he stared at the image the mirror mockingly showed him.

And then, he was moving, backward, slowly, rocking back on his heels, stumbling, trying to find his way back to the darkness as fear and anguish enveloped him completely.

* * *

**To Be Continued…**

AN: Yes, I know, I haven't done anything but make you have more questions. I will answer them soon, I promise. I really appreciate all the input everyone has been giving me and I hope you will continue to do so. I look forward to your thoughts. Until the next update,

Thanks for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


	8. Waking Up

**GENUINE GEMINI**

**By: P.P.V.V.**

Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim Applies.

* * *

AN: Thank you to everyone who reviewed for me thus far. I'm glad to see that many of you are enjoying it. Throw together a lazy day and an inspired mind and you get a new chapter! Voila! Here it is!

* * *

_Previously:_

When Sirius woke, he was rolled up in a corner in a very uncomfortable position. His head had been tucked under layers and layers of blankets, his arms and legs twisted in a distorted way.

For a moment, he panicked.

Then, the door opened, letting in a shaft of light in the pitch darkness.

Squinting at the unwelcome brightness, Sirius turned his head up slightly to see Charlie frowning down at him.

"All right there, mate?" He asked.

Sirius gave him a noncommittal grunt as he pushed himself to his feet. His whole body felt numb and he tried to shake some feeling back into them.

Charlie's room was small – so small that Sirius could have sworn there was more room in the closet. But despite how tiny the space seemed to be, a bed and a chest of drawers fit just in the corner. He caught sight of his reflection in the mirror and his heart seemed to jump up into his throat.

"I called Lupin." Charlie informed him, taking one step forward. "He's coming to get you."

Sirius didn't hear him, feeling like his body was made of wood as he stared at the image the mirror mockingly showed him.

And then, he was moving, backward, slowly, rocking back on his heels, stumbling, trying to find his way back to the darkness as fear and anguish enveloped him completely.

* * *

**Chapter 8**

**- Waking Up -**

Huddled against the rain, Remus quickly crossed the lawn toward a house that looked run down and dilapidated. It was a variety of colors, almost as though the person who made it had chosen the materials at random and put it together. Reds, greens and yellows were the most prominent colors, but in the gloom of the rain, they were not as bright.

The Weasley's fondly called their house 'The Burrow' because of its slanting roof and many floors that seemed to connect, twist, and turn, like a badger's underground living.

Whatever the case, Remus found it almost comical how Charlie, a widely feared person at school, could live in such a place. He knew, though, that the Weasely's were not a well-off family, so he guessed that they were at least fortunate to have a living space.

Having to wake up early on a Saturday morning did not please Remus at all. Having to walk in the rain really put the icing on the cake for him. _When I see Sirius, I'll wring his neck_, he promised himself as he pushed the doorbell.

Molly Weasely, Charlie's mother, answered the door. In her arms, she held a little bundle – the newest addition to their family. Remus could make out red hair already crowning the little girl's head. Another redhead peeped out from behind Molly's skirt.

"Ah, Lupin!" The jolly greeting came. "Come in, come in! Oh my, is it raining? Only a moment ago there was sunlight…"

A bit of Remus' irritation evaporated. Molly was someone that couldn't be hated, no matter how hard one tried. Despite the fact that her family didn't have much, she never turned anyone away from her step.

"Mrs. Weasely, did I come at a bad time?" Remus asked, politely.

"No, not at all," she said swinging around so suddenly that he had to back away lest he get hit by her elbow. "Charlie! Charlie!! Lupin's here for you!" To Remus she said, "He'll be down in a moment – poor Black was feeling sick last night so we took him in."

Remus grit his teeth while he showed her a smile. He knew better: Sirius had gotten so drunk that he hadn't been able to move.

"Would you like something to eat, dear?" Molly offered.

"No thank you, Ma'am," Remus said. "I've eaten already."

"Well, all right. Ask Charlie for a change of clothes, though and make yourself right at home." To the little boy behind her she said, "Come along, Ron. Time for some breakfast." With that, she turned and led the way into the kitchen.

It couldn't be denied that Molly's cooking was the best in the world. From where he stood, Remus could smell the food and even though he had already eaten, he felt his mouth water.

He had just finished kicking of his shoes so as not to track mud all over her house when he heard Charlie's shout from up above. "Ma! Come quick! Sirius isn't breathing!"

A cold chill forced its way down Remus' spine, making every nerve in his body tingle. He heard Molly bustling toward the Kitchen's entrance and he saw her puzzled face fill with alarm. He shared a brief look with her before he rushed up the stairs, two at a time, towards Charlie's designated bedroom.

The door was open and Charlie was inside, bending over the unconscious form of Sirius.

The dark-haired man was sprawled in the center of Charlie's room, his dark eyes closed, his mouth slightly open.

Charlie swept his gaze to Remus. "I don't know what happened!" He cried. "He had a complete panic attack – he collapsed!"

Remus looked around the room quickly and stopped when he saw the mirror. "Oh Merlin…" he muttered. "Shit! Weasely, go flip that mirror over!" As he spoke, he ran to the light switch, turning it off, shrouding the room once more in darkness. Without asking why, Charlie jumped to obey the command given to him and Remus flopped down beside his friend.

"Sirius – Sirius! It's me! Sirius, come on, man," he reached out and grasped his friend's shoulders. "Come on, wake up."

When Sirius didn't respond, he turned Sirius' head up to face the ceiling, in hopes that he would have a chance to take in a breath. "Sirius, wake up!" He cried, when no air filled his lungs. "You have to breathe, man. Don't think! Don't remember! Sirius!!"

Molly came huffing and puffing up the stairs then, her face as red as her hair. "Good lord, Charlie! What is going on?" She cried. In her arms, the baby was wailing and it seemed to set off a chain reaction because little Ron started to cry in earnest too.

Remus didn't pay attention to the commotion around him. He bent over Sirius again. "Sirius, don't think," he repeated. Without looking up, he calmly stated, "It's just a condition he has…"

"Should I call an ambulance?" Molly asked.

"I wish I knew CPR," Charlie said, at the same time.

"No, don't call an ambulance." If they did that, Sirius would go into even deeper shock, Remus knew. He could only hope that Sirius would come to. "He'll wake up soon, I know he will."

But Molly wasn't convinced. "I'll call an ambulance right now. Charlie, go get your father."

As the two of them departed, Remus pushed at Sirius' chest. "They're going to take you to a hospital – you have to get up!"

This wasn't the first time Sirius had collapsed. It had happened three times in the past so Remus was counting on Sirius to wake up on his own. He was rewarded when Sirius' eyes suddenly snapped open and he pulled in a deep, gasping breath.

"Mrs.Weasely! He's awake!" He shouted, at the top of his lungs.

Disoriented, Sirius coughed and wheezed, trying to inhale as much air as he could. His dark hair fell in loose strands around his face and he groaned when Remus propped him into a sitting position. The spell had been short, which was better than he could have hoped.

"…Remus…" Sirius' hands came out to clutch weakly at the shorter man's shirt. "…I saw…"

"It's all right," Remus told him reassuringly, as Charlie re-entered the room with his mother close on his heels. "The mirror is gone. I promise. Just concentrate on breathing, okay?"

Sirius fell silent then, staring up at the ceiling, pulling in breaths slowly."Lord's sake!" Molly cried. "I've called for an ambulance."

Sirius sat up abruptly. "What? No…" he growled.

But seeing how he teetered, Remus couldn't help but think Mrs. Weasely had done the right thing. "Sirius, maybe it's best…"

"I'm fine," was the protest.

"What the hell happened to you?" Charlie demanded, looking down at him. "You completely freaked and fell over."

"It must have been the bright lights," Remus interrupted, quickly, seeing Sirius start to get riled up again. "He had an accident a couple of weeks ago, remember? He probably just had a concussion."

Sirius glared at them while he struggled to breathe. "I don't want to go to the hospital," he said, flatly.

"But the ambulance is on its way…" Molly began.

"I'm not going to the hospital!" Sirius shouted, causing her to take a step back. He buried his face in his hands. "I'm not going…" he mumbled.

Remus and Charlie exchanged looks before the former bent to shake Sirius' shoulder. "Fine, I'll send it back," he said. "Just take it easy." With that, he left the room to wait for the ambulance outside and explain the situation.

Taking a deep shuddering breath, Sirius looked at Molly apologetically. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Weasely…" he said. "I didn't mean to…"

"If you had a concussion wouldn't it be prudent to have a check over?" Molly asked, ignoring his apology. "You could still be injured."

Sirius scowled. "I've been through tests. They said I was fine, and I am." To prove his point, he pushed himself to his feet and staggered a bit. "I think I'm just tired…and hungry. And man, I've got a headache like you wouldn't imagine."

She clucked her tongue disapprovingly. "That's what you get for drinking too much," she scolded. "You take a few moments in here and I'll bring up something for you to eat later. But if this happens again, you can be sure that you're not talking your way out of it, do you hear me?"

Meekly, Sirius nodded. "Yes, Ma'am…"

"Good. Charlie, open some windows and let some fresh air in," she instructed. At that point, Mr. Weasely stuck his head into the room.

"Is everything all right here?" He asked, glancing around.

"Everything's fine now," his wife said. "Arthur, there's breakfast waiting if you'll have some. Come along downstairs when you're finished, Charlie."

"Right, ma."

Sirius sat down gingerly on the bed while Charlie busied himself opening the windows, keeping the blinds tightly closed, remembering what Remus had said. "All right there?" Charlie asked.

"I'm fine," Sirius muttered.

"You scared the shit outta me, man."

His only answer was a heavy sigh.

Charlie hovered close by for a moment uncertainly, and then he noted, "Remus came to pick you up and bring you home."

"My bike – I left it back at the Hog's Head…" Sirius' voice was scratchy, slurred with the fog of disorientation. He tried to clear his throat, but ended up in a coughing fit.

"Remus said he took care of that," Charlie informed him. They both looked up at the sound of sirens wailing in the front yard. The ambulances had come at last, and Sirius tensed, dreading to see paramedics and the lot come bounding up the stairs.

After what seemed like an eternity, he was relieved to see Remus come up alone. "It's all clear," he announced, looking from one man to the next. "I told them it was a false alarm, that it was just a dizzy spell." He didn't care to elaborate on whatever else the paramedics had asked of him. Instead, he directed his attention to Charlie. "Do you have anything I can possibly change into?" He was drenched from head to toe.

"I might," Charlie grumbled, striding to one of his dresser drawers.

Remus nodded his thanks and addressed Sirius. "I had your bike delivered to your apartment complex. You're lucky I got there in time because a truck was ready to tow it away." He took the clothes from Charlie, who excused himself because his mother was calling up the stairs for him.

That left the two alone in the room, one doubled over in a resigned manner while the other busied himself by slipping into something warm and dry. Charlie's shirt was a little too big for him, but it couldn't be helped since the man was a good head or so taller. As he toweled his hair dry, Remus shot a frown at his friend. "The Sirius I knew always managed to hold down his drinks."

"Well, maybe the Sirius you knew no longer exists," Sirius snapped. He let his hands, which had started to massage his forehead, drop into his lap. "So what if I've changed, Remus? What if I don't want to continue living this fucked up life that I've been living? What if I'm sick and tired of living under James' shadow?!" He cut himself off, surprised at his own outburst.

Remus squinted slightly. "James? Who's James?"

Sirius glanced down at Charlie's bed sheets. "It's nothing…never mind…" he muttered.

"Who's James, Sirius?" Remus asked, more forcefully. Sirius was escaping behind the wall that he had built, again. It was that wall that seemed to separate him from everyone else – the wall that was dangerous. The wall that kept him walking the line between insanity and sanity.

For a moment, it seemed as though Sirius wouldn't answer, but at last, he sighed and whispered, "James was my best mate."

Remus caught his meaning, and repeated, "Was?"

"That's right," said Sirius, "he's dead."

Not knowing how to respond to that, Remus propped himself against Charlie's dresser and crossed his arms. "Oh…I'm sorry about that…"

Sirius was looking at him now, a haunted look in his eyes, as if daring him to continue with his sentence. It was so penetrating and frightening that Remus had to swallow his suddenly dry throat.

"Are you really?" Sirius demanded. "Because I was the one who killed him."

**0-0-0-0-0**

The school bells rang.

Finally, the end of the first period: five more to go. Why did they have to be so long and boring? It was almost as though the Professors were looking to make them that way.

Slowly, Lily gathered all her things. Her notebooks went in her bag first, followed by her textbooks, and finally, her pens.

_Hey, do you think I could borrow one of those?_

Her fingers clutched the pens tightly at the memory of Sirius' question. It had been almost two months now since he had stopped talking to her - two months since she had last seen him. Two months since _anyone _had last seen him. After that day, he had not come back to school. Perhaps, he had even dropped out.

He had been the first guy to talk to her as if she was a normal girl. As much as she tried not to think about him, she couldn't help but remember the short times they had spent together. Despite the fact that they had not been friends for very long, she had liked his company.

Quickly, she stuffed her pens away and proceeded to file out with the rest of the class, following along like an invisible shadow. No one paid her any attention – no one even bothered to glance her way.

When Lily reached her locker to change her History textbook for her Chemistry one, however, she was surprised to see Remus and Peter, standing by it. Both were watching her solemnly.

For a moment, she paused. Could it be a coincidence, or were they waiting for her?

She thought about turning and heading to Professor Slughorn's class without getting her textbook, but she knew she'd be needing it.

"Evans, I need to talk to you."

Remus.

Beside him, Peter looked uncomfortable, but he gave her a shy smile.

Lily considered ignoring the both of them, but she wasn't given the chance to, because Remus was already moving toward her.

Pursing her lips, Lily strode forward and stopped a little ways from the pair, hugging her book bag to her chest in a protective manner.

Both men exchanged relieved glances and Remus licked his lips before spreading his hands – a clear indication that he meant no harm. Lily was reminded of someone holding up a white flag of surrender.

"Look, I'm sorry to bother you," Remus was acting as the spokesperson it seemed, "but I was wondering if you'd…heard from Sirius?"

From behind her goggles, Lily narrowed her eyes. Lips still pressed tightly together, she slowly shook her head.

This time, the boys exchanged looks of worry.

"Something must be wrong, then," Peter said, directing his speech to Remus. "Maybe we should check all the local hospitals?"

"That guy…" Growled Remus, "If he doesn't want to be found, he does a good job of it."

Unable to contain her curiosity, Lily cocked her head to the side. She couldn't begin to explain her sudden sense of anxiety. What was going on? Sirius in the hospital? Missing?

"I've tried calling him but I never get anything but his answering machine. He apparently quit his job, so I can't get a hold of him there, either. I've tried his apartment but he won't answer the buzzer to let me up," Remus told them. "Not only that, but Professor Dumbledore said that since he's missed too many classes this term, he'll have to expel Sirius from the school. Apparently, they had some on-going deal of some sort."

Peter shifted his weight from one foot to the other, pulling at his jersey. Now that she paid attention, Lily saw that both men were wearing their basketball uniforms – white jerseys proudly displayed their team colors. There must have been some sort of game that day and it looked like their school was hosting it. "Do you think he went back home?"

"Home?" Remus scoffed. "No way. He'd rather die than go back there. That's what he told me before, anyway."

"Maybe Lestrange would know something, then," said Peter.

Remus shook his head. "No, I already asked her. She said she has no idea. Even Charlie said he hasn't seen him since. Maybe it's best if we contact the police?"

Lily shook her head and both boys looked around at her. She opened her mouth to speak, but her lower lip trembled and she closed it again tightly. To show her disapproval, she shook her head harder.

"I guess you're right..." Remus said. "I don't suppose Sirius would want us sending the police out after him. After all, he doesn't have a very good history with them."

All three of them stared at each other, helplessly. As if to spite them, the bell signaling the start of the next period pealed throughout the hallways and crowds of students began moving in the direction of their classes.

Peter turned to go first, but hung back momentarily to wait for Remus who thanked Lily for her help, and loped after him.

Reluctantly, Lily completed her journey to her locker. When she placed her History text back into its rightful spot on the shelf, however, her eye caught on the folder that she had begun to put her artwork in: the portfolio that Professor Trelawney had suggested she begin. Slowly, she reached up to get it and flipped it open to the pictures of the Clock Tower. The only one missing was the colored one she had given to Sirius.

Time had started again. It seemed it would never stay on pause.

And only then did Lily realize just how much she missed Sirius. She missed him so much that she felt tears come to her eyes.

What was it about him?

Slapping the book closed, she jammed it back into the locker, grabbed her things and ran to her next class, which, by then, had already started.

Professor Slughorn was handing out a couple of droppers and Petri dishes. He had the sleeves to his white collared shirt rolled back, showing big meaty arms. He frowned at Lily's tardiness, but otherwise made no mention of it, waving her casually to her seat.

Like earlier, no one paid her any attention, their eyes riveted on the Professor who had begun to explain what their lab was going to be about.

But Lily wasn't listening to him. While Chemistry happened to be her favorite subject, she just couldn't pay attention. Instead, she whipped out a piece of paper and began to write.

It was time to take a risk.

Sometime, during the lab, she managed to get the note to the right person, who raised an eyebrow at the request written on it.

The class proceeded at a slow rate, that by the time it ended, Lily felt as though she had aged ten years in her anxiety. This time, she was the first to leave the class, making a beeline toward her locker once more and pacing nervously in front of it.

She almost fell to her knees with relief when she heard Bellatrix demand, "This had better be good, Evans."

It took a second for Lily to process the fact that she had actually decided to show up.

If people had not bothered to spare a glance at her before, they now turned their heads curiously at the pair of them.

Lily, bundled in her usual green jacket, stood out like a sore thumb compared to Bellatrix, who looked like she had walked out of a fashion magazine. A dark mini skirt showed off long legs and four-inch heels. Her hair seemed to shimmer under the overhead lights, and her eyes were hidden behind a pair of sunglasses. Her full lips were turned down in a frown of disdain.

Taking a deep breath, Lily tried to summon the courage to speak, but with eyes on her, she felt like a specimen at a museum being analyzed. She hated the feeling and tried to envision herself alone in the hall.

"What are you all staring at?" Bellatrix snapped, causing everyone around them to jump. "There's nothing here to see." She turned back to Lily, haughtily, planting a fist to her hip as the crowd dispersed, talking amongst themselves excitedly.

When the last of it had disappeared, she demanded, "Well?"

Lily nervously licked her lips and tugged at the collar to her coat. "U…um…I…"

"Well, what do you know? She does speak!" Bellatrix lifted her sunglasses and let them rest at the top of her head. She bent slightly scrutinizing the smaller girl with narrowed eyes. She seemed surprised by Lily's next words.

"How…how is your…is your neck okay, now?"

"You called me out here to ask me about my neck?" Bellatrix asked, sounding more astonished than confused.

"Sirius…he…he hurt you…" Lily mumbled, feeling her ears start to heat. The conversation was not going the way she had hoped, but she found herself to be really worried about the other woman's condition.

Faltering in her response, Bellatrix hoisted her purse uncomfortably on her shoulder. "I'm…better. As you can see," She added. And it was true: the bruise had healed completely, leaving smooth white skin in its place, as though nothing had happened. "Is that all?"

When Lily hunched her shoulders and lowered her head, Bellatrix snorted and made to walk away.

"Wait! Please…!"

Stopping in her tracks, the dark-haired woman turned her head slightly. If she didn't know better, it sounded as though Lily were close to tears. Could it be so difficult to speak one's mind in the presence of another? What was she so afraid of? True, she disliked Lily a lot, but she couldn't help wondering what had caused her to be the way she was.

"Please…help me find Sirius!"

"I don't know where he is," said Bellatrix, turning to face the redhead again. "Besides, are you sure you're asking the right person? As I see it, Sirius doesn't want anything to do with me. What makes you think I can help you?"

"Then, tell me where he lives." Lily desperately cast about for a solution.

"You want to go to his house?" The astonished tone was back, and for good reason. "That place is dangerous, you know." Realizing her words, she quickly rephrased herself. "Not that I care about what happens to you, but honestly, Sirius doesn't like having visitors."

Lily stubbornly took a step forward. "I know Sirius won't want to see me either," she said, in a voice that wavered only slightly. "But it doesn't matter. I just want to know he's all right. He's got to return home at some point, right? Please…please…I'm so worried…"

And with that, Lily's words died in her throat as her wall came crashing down once again, choking off whatever courage she had managed to muster. At the moment, she just wanted to run away and hope never to speak to anyone ever again.

How had she gotten so pathetic?

A heel clacking on the floor in front of her made her look up: Bellatrix had stepped forward. "Fine. I'll tell you." At Lily's disbelieving stare, she added, "But it's only because I want to make sure Sirius is safe and if you really want to face his wrath, then go right ahead."

* * *

_**Closing your eyes is the best way to face your fears.**_

* * *

The building was fairly easy to find. Grimmauld Place was a shabby square filled with dirty, rundown-looking complexes. They all stood fairly the same height, no more than ten feet above the ground, with rusty iron gates leading to the front steps.

The entire neighborhood seemed deserted.

Feeling like she was the only one left on the planet, Lily gathered her resolve and pushed open the gate leading in to Sirius' apartment which gave way with a loud squeak. It banged back into place when she let go and slipped quickly toward the doorway.

True to Remus' word, Sirius did not respond to the buzzer when she pressed on it. She tried again, but to no avail. Stepping back, she craned her neck to look up at the apartment, but she couldn't distinguish which one belonged to him so she decided to try going around the back.

Her heart threatened to stop beating when she saw three boys sitting against the side of the building against the bricks, passing around what looked like a cigarette. They gave each other nudges, training their eyes on her.

When she made no move to talk with them, they seemed to lose interest in her all together and, like the people at school, she became something unimportant – something invisible. They went back to passing the roll between them, ignoring her.

Letting out a breath she hadn't even known she was holding, Lily carefully made her way to the back of the building again.

There, she saw a small parking lot that was half-empty. But her eyes caught sight of something familiar: Sirius' motorcycle.

She was in the right place!

Seeing it gave her a boost of hope, and she wandered toward it, running a hand fondly over the leather seat.

Where was its owner?

She turned to look at the building again. Maybe he was home. But if so, why wasn't he answering the doorbell?

As if to answer her question, she saw something else – a set of rickety stairs winding up the building. An escape route, perhaps? But it led into the building – if she couldn't get in through the front door she'd let herself in through the back.

The steps were surprisingly sturdy despite the way they looked. She had been quite certain that they would not support her weight, but they didn't so much as creak under her.

Feeling like a criminal, Lily found her way into the building and proceeded to walk down the empty hallway, searching for the correct number. Unfortunately for her, they were not in any organized manner, so it took her longer than she expected it would.

Finally, she reached the correct door, the number 12 looking down at her from its perch on the nail in the wood that was painted an ugly pale green color.

Lily considered knocking, but decided against it. She hadn't thought about what she'd do if she came face to face with Sirius; it had been a desire to see for herself that he was all right.

Sure he didn't want to see her again, but the least he could have done was given her a reason why.

Sighing, she pressed her back up against the wall. Maybe it was best if she headed home…

"Lily?"

This time, her heart did skip a beat as she jumped, whipping around to find Sirius silhouetted by the hallway's dim lights. He seemed taller than before, his hair much longer, a beard adorning his jaw line. She could smell the alcohol on his clothes from where she stood. He was dressed in a pair of baggy jeans that were ripped at the knees and an undershirt.

"What are you doing here?"

His voice sent shivers down her spine, and the only thing she could do was stare at him.

He was here…

He was okay…

Lily tried to get her mouth to work, to say something – anything – but no words would come. Her jaw seemed clamped tight, her breath coming short.

What was it…fear?

She realized she was terrified. So much so that she could not breathe properly.

"Lily?" His voice seemed to come from far away, and involuntarily, she flinched.

What was wrong with her?

Tears came to her eyes when she figured it out. He was a stranger to her now…an ordinary man just like the rest of them…

_Don't you trust me?_

Those words he had spoken to her seemed like a lifetime ago.

"I trusted you…" Lily's voice came at last, a heartbroken sound, like shattered glass.

Sirius looked as though she had slapped him.

Finally, he cursed softly and repeated his question. "What are you doing here?" He sounded wary, uncertain. But his voice was just as she remembered it: gentle.

She looked down at her feet, unable to look him in the eyes. Her thoughts were swirling in her head and she tried to sort them out as quickly as possible.

When she never responded, he let out a sigh and began to rummage through his pockets to find the keys to his apartment. "Look, you shouldn't be here - "

"-I…I wanted to see you." She blurted.

His keys clattered to the floor and he scrambled to pick them up.

Through her goggles, she watched him, drinking in the sight of his tall form bent in an almost graceful manner, his long fingers clutching the small pieces of metal in a fist. An unbidden thought crossed her mind. _He would make a wonderful model…_

Backing up against the wall as far as she could go, she stammered, "I…I guess I should leave…" She endeavored to put a smile on her face, but she supposed it looked more like a grimace. "Take care, Sirius. Everyone is worried about you."

With that, she hurried away, to the square of light, leading back outside to the pair of rickety steps again. Her footsteps sounded loud in her ears as she started out, feeling Sirius' eyes burn into her.

"…What about you, Lily?"

His question stopped her in her tracks.

If she turned around again, she'd never be able to say goodbye. She'd hope. She'd cling. She'd wish…

And she was tired of wishing.

Wishing never came true.

She had to end it all now, or else she'd end up an emotional wreck. Before he came, she had never seen a way out. She had never had to realize that there was someone out there willing to protect her, to care for her. Before he came, she had lived. Now, because of him, she survived.

And surviving was much harder.

"I hate you…" she whispered. "Why did you have to ruin everything?"

An intruder.

A stranger.

A man.

Another one.

Surprisingly, his hand on her arm did not make her cry out, nor did it make her recoil. In fact, his sudden crushing embrace was welcome, and Lily realized that she was hugging him back just as fiercely.

Two words erased everything, setting her heart at ease when Sirius said them.

"I'm sorry."

Simple. Short. Incredibly effective. The best part about it was that the words were sincere.

And she knew, without a doubt, that she had fallen in love with him.

* * *

**To Be Continued…**

**AN: **So she finally admitted it to herself. And Sirius apologized! As to his past, we'll learn about it soon. Please be patient for the next installment and thanks for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


	9. Living Dangerously

**GENUINE GEMINI by: P.P.V.V.**

_Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim Applies…_

* * *

**AN:** Wow, I'm so glad everyone liked the last chapter. Don't worry, the secrets will be revealed and soon, just have patience with Lily and Sirius. They're still both very wary, but we can't blame them, can we?

_Previously: _

"_I…I guess I should leave…" Lily endeavored to put a smile on her face, but she supposed it looked more like a grimace. "Take care, Sirius. Everyone is worried about you."_

_With that, she hurried away, her footsteps sounding loud in her ears as she started out, feeling Sirius' eyes burn into her._

"…_What about you, Lily?"_

_His question stopped her in her tracks._

_If she turned around again, she'd never be able to say goodbye. She'd hope. She'd cling. She'd wish…_

_And she was tired of wishing._

_Wishing never came true._

_She had to end it all now, or else she'd end up an emotional wreck. Before he came, she had never seen a way out. She had never had to realize that there was someone out there willing to protect her, to care for her. Before he came, she had lived. Now, because of him, she survived._

_And surviving was much harder._

"_I hate you…" she whispered. "Why did you have to ruin everything?"_

_Surprisingly, his hand on her arm did not make her cry out, nor did it make her recoil. In fact, his sudden crushing embrace was welcome, and Lily realized that she was hugging him back just as fiercely._

_Two words erased everything, setting her heart at ease when Sirius said them._

"_I'm sorry."_

_Simple. Short. Incredibly effective. The best part about it was that the words were sincere._

_And she knew, without a doubt, that she had fallen in love with him._

* * *

**CHAPTER 9**

**- Living Dangerously -**

Sirius' apartment was in a state of sorry disarray.

Beer bottles, dirty clothes, cigarette butts and a thick layer of dust covered the floor. In the left-hand corner of his small bachelor's flat there was a stack of magazines and what looked like random newspaper clippings. In the right-hand corner, there lay bits and pieces of machinery, probably parts for his beloved motorcycle.

In the late afternoon, the sun was trying to peek in through the tightly closed curtains. Since the room never aired out, it held a musty smell. Thank goodness there was no evidence of rotting food around, or else Lily was certain she would not be able to handle staying inside.

Kicking a beer can aside, Sirius led her in. "Uh…sorry about the mess…" he mumbled. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather stay at John's while I washed up?" John was his apartment's superintendent, but Lily was loath to stay in the presence of a complete stranger – a male one at that.

When she had insisted that she'd wait outside in the hallway for him, Sirius would not hear of it and told her she could wait on the bed for him.

The bed was small, but big enough to fit him, she supposed. Like the rest of the room, it was just as disorderly, and she was certain that he had not washed his sheets in months.

He seemed to sense her apprehension because he crossed the room first and tried to make the bed as presentable as possible. "I'll be right back, I won't be long, I promise." As he spoke, he turned to his dresser drawer which sat next to his bed and despite the darkness, he began to pull out clothing.

Lily made a sound with her throat to let him know that she was listening, and sat down gingerly at the edge of the bed, clutching her bag to her on her lap.

She had skipped the last part of school in her haste to find him. She supposed it was worth missing her Calculus test because she had found Sirius.

Said man left her sitting there and went to take a shower. It was creepy, the way everything was silhouetted against the dim lighting of the hallway; Sirius hadn't bothered to close his apartment's door. She was half expecting someone to pop in, and she nervously got to her feet to close it and find a light switch. She was surprised to find that the electricity was not working.

All the light switches in Sirius' apartment were the same.

Stumbling over the mess on the floor, she managed to get to the window and pull the drapes open. A fresh wave of dust puffed out and made its way to settle on the floor.

The light invaded the darkness, revealing a cracked mirror on Sirius' bedside table, as well as a very tiny vase of wilted flowers. The petals had long since fallen off, dried and brown. She fingered one of them and bent to trail it lightly through the dust, tracing her name in curving writing.

It was obvious that he did not use the room very often. Looking around, she decided that she'd clean up as much as possible so that he wouldn't trip on his way back out. It gave her something to do, something to think about while she waited, and she got right to work.

By the time he came out of the washroom (which, she noted, was just as dark as the rest of the apartment had been), she had managed to clear away most of the mess into three big piles: clothing, garbage, and a mix of things she deemed he might want to keep. She hadn't known what to do with them, so she had pushed them to the far wall, to rest beside a lamp stand that was obviously not in use.

The faint smell of shampoo and soap followed Sirius out. His hair hung in damp clumps around his now clean-shaven face. He wore a pair of black jeans and was busy tugging another sleeveless shirt on. Before he pulled the dark material down, Lily caught sight of the long scar that seemed to hug the man's chest.

At first, he looked confused, and then he raised a hand against the intruding shaft of light from the curtain. His blue eyes seemed sharper, and he seemed to wince. "Why did you…?"

"You don't clean up very often, do you?" Lily asked, ignoring the pained expression on his face.

"I guess I don't feel the need to," he responded, in carefully measured tones.

When she tilted her head slightly, Sirius gave her a small smile, and proceeded to drape his towel over the cracked mirror. "Come on," he said. "I haven't eaten anything all day. I'm starving. Let's go out."

Now that she thought about it, Lily hadn't seen the kitchen at all. She supposed Sirius never cooked or kept groceries because there was no power. "Do you have problems paying your bills?" she wondered, aloud.He tensed slightly, and she knew she had overstepped her boundaries. "Sorry…"

He led her out again, obviously not interested in answering her, and locked the door to his apartment securely behind him. Twirling the keys around in his hand, he said, "Unless you want to walk, we can take my motorcycle. Of course, I'd prefer it if you wore the helmet since there's only one."

"I know. You usually don't let other people ride."

He smirked. "This conversation seems awfully familiar."

She giggled in response.

He reached out and gently placed his hand on top of her hood before taking her hand in his and going down the hallway, tugging her along. She followed, as she had done before, still somehow disbelieving that he stood before her again.

As if to test and see if he was real, she squeezed his hand tight. He turned his head slightly at that, but did not comment. Instead, he asked, "So, do you still hate me?"

"Do you hate _me_?" she shot back. At his startled hum, she said, "You told me you never wanted to see me again…that day…on the roof…"

"I didn't mean it," Sirius said.

By that time, they had reached the back of the complex again, and the bright light was a welcome sight for Lily. The sun was bouncing off the red brick, and it warmed her face as she stepped gingerly onto the stairwell, Sirius' hand guiding her in an almost gentlemanly way.

If she had been leading a different life, she probably would not have thought this afternoon to be different from any other, but because that wasn't the case, Lily stored that moment, that snapshot in time, deep into her memories. It was something she was sure most teenage girls her age did every day with their boyfriends, and it made her feel almost normal.

But then again, Sirius Black would never be her boyfriend.

…Hey, it was good to dream.

"Watch your step." Sirius' voice snapped her back to reality as they crossed the parking lot to his beloved motorcycle. Obediently, Lily trained her eyes to the gravel, where the cracks suddenly became entangled with one another, a few weeds growing out from among them, like poison through veins.

Without a word of complaint, she took the helmet from him when they got to his vehicle, and clambered behind him, locking her arms around his waist without hesitation as he started up the engine.

He took one glance over his shoulder at her, as if to be certain she was seated properly, before speeding away.

Lily closed her eyes and thought, _If this is a dream, I hope I never wake up. _

**0-0-0-0-0**

The small diner was practically empty at that time because it was too late for lunch yet too early for dinner. Sirius led Lily to a booth that was located somewhere in the middle, next to a window.

The waitress, (Kim, as her badge indicated), was a tall, willowy girl with chestnut brown hair that was chin length. She had long nails, obviously fake, and these she flashed along with her smile as she asked, "What'll it be today?" while she looked between the two of them, settling her gaze on Sirius, who winked at her, suggestively.

"If I had my way, honey, it'd be you."

Kim blushed, and batted her eyelashes, looking very pleased. "I'm not on the menu," she said, with a half smile.

Sirius made a show of being disappointed. "I guess I'll have the House Special then. And load me on the appetizers, if you please." He trained his gaze on Lily, who was looking down furiously at the menu in front of her. "What about you?"

"I'm not hungry," Lily said, tightly, still not looking up.

She felt Sirius' hand come out and touch hers. "C'mon sweetheart, don't be like that," he crooned. Then to Kim he said, "Start her off with the soup of the day and a club sandwich."

Despite her chagrin, Lily melted into a puddle of goo at his choice of words. Had he just called her _sweetheart_?

As Kim skipped away, Sirius tapped his fingers on the back of her hand. "Don't tell me you're jealous," he said, sounding infuriatingly amused.

"I'm not," Lily replied, too quickly, and then realizing that she'd been found out, she glanced back down at the menu that she had not exactly ordered off of. "Are you…I mean…do you flirt with every girl you see?"

Sirius leaned back, retracting his hand as he did so, and Lily instantly regretted asking. "Ah, you _are _jealous," he confirmed.

When she didn't answer, he chuckled. "I know. I'm hard to resist, I can assure you."

Finally, Lily quirked an eyebrow at him. "How vain."

His response was a toothy grin.

The appetizers came first, Kim handling the six plates expertly, probably in an effort to impress, if not the both of them, then at least him. When she had finished placing them down, she asked them if they wanted any drinks, and Sirius jabbed another flirtatious remark that went along the lines of, "Not right now, but I'll take you up on your offer tonight, if you insist."

Lily was certain Kim would have jumped on that invitation and before she could stop herself, Lily said, "You can't drink, Sirius. You're driving, remember?"

He turned his head to her and his teasing smile made her want to slap him. Then, he was looking at Kim again, his flirtatious attitude not yet quite gone. "The Lady likes to follow the rules. I guess I have to turn you down." Brightening, he added, "I'll have a Sprite please, with a little lemon on the side. Lily?"

"Water," she bit out, not looking up because she knew he was still wearing that annoying smirk.

Whether Kim was confused or not, Lily never found out, and when the waitress had left, an uncomfortable silence settled between them.

The tablecloth was checkered red and white, as plain as the rest of the diner they sat in. The only decoration that adorned their booth was a napkin holder that was a dark blue figure of a dolphin jumping. There were no candles – not even the usual salt and pepper shakers that one always expected to see in a restaurant setting.

"Being with someone like me…" Sirius' soft voice cut Lily's scrutiny of their surroundings, "…you could do so much _better_, Lily…"

At that, Lily finally glanced at him. His wavy dark hair was pulled back from his face with both hands, his knee up so that it was leaning casually against the table. Bad table etiquette but for some reason, it didn't bother her at all.

Not knowing how to answer, Lily flicked the menu in front of her, not really seeing it. "Give me one good reason why not." There. It wasn't a direct response, nor was it a question.

He seemed taken aback by that, and he scowled. "I'm not exactly boyfriend material. I live…" he trailed off, trying to find the right word and decided on, "…dangerously."

"If by dangerous you mean riding a motorcycle without a helmet…" Lily began, but Sirius huffed.

"Look, it's not going to work, okay? I'm not good for you. You don't know the first thing about me – the things I've seen, the things I've done…there's a reason why I'm on the blacklist at school." He glared across the table at her. "And don't give me the whole, 'it doesn't matter' thing. It _does_ matter. It _will_ matter. In the long run."

Hurt by his flat out refusal to even consider, Lily looked down at the menu again. The word _Cabaret_ stared up at her from the glossy page. So, the restaurant they were at was French. She was surprised that a diner as small and homely as this would even have one. "So you've got faults," she heard herself protest, "but what person doesn't?"

Sirius took his fork and stabbed it into one of the sausage rolls – she hadn't even paid attention to what had been given to them – on the plate in front of him. "I don't want to have this conversation right now."

Suddenly, Lily felt very vulnerable. She hadn't expected to take this course of topic. And she definitely hadn't been prepared to lay her feelings out – excuse the pun – on the table; after all, she had only just figured them out. Had Sirius somehow known all along? She wanted to curl into a ball and disappear.

Determined not to return to the shell she was so used to hiding behind, Lily asked, "Have you ever considered the feelings a girl gets when a guy flirts with her?"

"How do you mean?"

"It's uncomfortable. It makes the girl feel cheap, somehow." She was saying more than she wanted to, but the years of frustration and anger was leaking out. She hurriedly tried to cap the flow, but it was too late – he had heard it.

Sirius cocked his head to the side. "Do you feel that way?"

Ugh. Caught again.

In defeat, Lily nodded.

There was a moment of silence again, and then Sirius poked another roll and waved it at her. "So that's why you're always upset whenever I turn on my charm." He offered her a small smile again.

She skirted the observation with a shrug. "It makes me wonder if the way you act is all just a show. Were you really worried about me that time when Bellatrix…" Lily never got to finish her sentence because the smile dropped from Sirius' face, instantly at the mention of the other girl.

"I meant it," he said, lowly, almost in a snarl. "If Bellatrix tries something like that again…" He was staring at her in a way that frightened her, his blue eyes like ice. "If I could, I want to protect you from everything."

"You can't protect me from everything," Lily said, knowing her words to be true. "I'm sorry I asked. I'm sorry I'm making things more difficult for you. It's just that…"

"What?"

"I thought…" her voice squeaked, and she felt herself blush. "I thought that if you didn't hate me…then…"

"I like you more than I should," Sirius said, gently. "I'm not saying I don't. I'm saying that even if we were to go out, it wouldn't work."

"We could try."

He snorted, "You think I'm invincible, don't you?"

Now it was Lily's turn to be confused. "Invincible?"

"I've been hurt in relationships before, sweetheart. I don't think I'm up for that again – and I'm definitely not up to being the one to bring _you_ pain, either."

She liked that word. Sweetheart. It distracted her again for a second before she smugly stuck out her chin. "I can take it. And knowing you, you'd do anything in your power to keep me from being hurt anyway."

"Exactly," Sirius said, nodding. "Which is why I think it's safer if you forget about your feelings for me. I was doing everything in my power to keep myself away from you, but apparently, that didn't work."

The tears that suddenly came to her eyes surprised even her, and Sirius dropped his utensil jumping up and reaching across the table. "Oh, don't cry, Evans!" he said, in a voice full of concern and exasperation.

"I…Is this the last time I'll see you, then?" she whispered, when he shook her shoulder. His words had sounded as though he were saying goodbye. "Does that mean you'll do your best to disappear again?"

He sat back down, frowning. "I didn't say that."

Lily wiped her tears with the back of her hand, but more took their place. The thought of him leaving scared her. Since when had she become so clingy? She hated herself for putting him on the spot.

"You jumped to the wrong conclusion – _you_ weren't the reason I disappeared," Sirius said. This time, he made no move to eat anything, even though Kim came by and dropped off their main courses. Instead, he locked his fingers together and began to explain. "I was fine seeing you at school. I thought that if I blew you off, our friendship could end, and I could keep myself away from you. I could be me, you could be you, the way it always was before we met - before I began to have feelings for you. I had no intention of leaving at that time. My disappearance was…because of a different reason…"

"What? What was it?" Lily asked, too drawn in now, unable to help herself.

His look was haunted. "Everyone's got secrets they don't want to share."

Lily was about to protest, but thought about it before reluctantly nodding. And then, what he had said finally hit her.

_"Before I began to have feelings for you."_

Feeling like her head was spinning like a top out of control, Lily clutched the tablecloth in front of her in an effort to gather her jumbling questions. "But then…I don't understand…why? Why were you trying to avoid me? If I wasn't the reason why you left school, there had to be some reason why you would say those things to me." Her voice broke at the end at the memory of his angry words, the way they had seemed to burn a hole through her.

His hand was on hers again, tapping at her knuckles, his calloused fingertips scratching her skin gently. "I was scared," he admitted. "I was scared that if I got closer to you, I'd regret it – that you would find out all my secrets and be like those other girls that I've dated, who look at me like I'm sort of…of monster." The word was full of sadness and sorrow that Lily flipped her hands up so that she could hold his, stilling his twitching fingers.

Sirius' gaze was intense, studying her reaction, so she made sure that she kept an emotionless face on, trying to help him relax and continue. "You're not like other girls, Lily. I didn't want you to be disappointed by the truth…but at the same time, I didn't want _myself_ to be disappointed if you ever turned out to be like them. It's selfish, I know, but I wanted you to be oblivious so that I wouldn't feel the rejection if you found out." He paused then, giving her time to think about his words before continuing.

"We were getting too close – too comfortable. And I became scared." His head went down slightly at that, his dark hair falling over his face as he confessed his weakness.

Lily tugged at his hands and kept doing so until he looked up at her again. "Oh, Sirius…" she said, gently. "You're really funny."

Now, it was his turn to look confused. "Funny? I just told you how cowardly I am, and I'm funny?"

She shook her head, a smile breaking onto her features. "I thought I was the only one," she murmured, "who didn't want to feel rejection. Now, I wonder, whose secret is more terrifying?"

Sirius' smug smile returned. "I don't know. We can run from the truth as much as we want, but we can't hide it forever."

Her answer was solemn, almost sad. "I know."

"I promise, I'll tell you…but just give me some time. It's not easy." He didn't want someone else telling her, that was for sure.

"Yeah, not easy at all," she agreed.

As if realizing that their meal was in front of them for the first time, Sirius leaned back and announced, "We'd better start eating or else the food will turn cold. I don't think you want me to call our little waitress friend over to heat it up again, do you?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "You think you're just to die for."

He winked at her, picking up his utensils again. "I don't think I am, sweetheart. I know I am."

"Ugh!" Lily threw up her hands and grabbed her fork, imitating his earlier action of spearing a sausage roll.

They began to eat then, and she realized that she was hungry after all, and that the food was delicious. Other than the sausage rolls, they had been given a plate of asparagus wrapped in bacon strips and some fish filet doused in corn sauce. Their salad and bread were present too, and polished off along with their main courses which had not gone forgotten despite the amount of food on the table.

As they ate, there was a comfortable silence that settled as the two of them thought over whatever had been discussed moments before. Lily was still bursting with more questions, but she held them back, knowing that there was plenty of time to ask.

After all, Sirius had said that he wouldn't disappear again.

At least, she hoped not.

When they had finished eating, Sirius called for the bill, reaching out and taking her hand in his again. "I am stuffed!" He proclaimed.

"I thought you'd never stop eating," Lily said, giggling.

He grinned. "I haven't eaten for three days, so I'm allowed."

"If you say so."

Kim interrupted them with a dry cough as she handed them a small black book. "Is there anything else I can get for you tonight?"

This time, Sirius didn't look up at her, instead, he locked his penetrating gaze onto Lily. "No, I think I've got everything I need right here and I'm gonna give it a chance."

* * *

**When you try to run in a nightmare**

**You find you don't go very far**

* * *

Lily followed Sirius back to the motorcycle, trailing behind slightly as she thought about what he'd said earlier.

He was going to take a chance with her.

She didn't know whether to feel happy or afraid.

"Lils, what are you thinking of?" Sirius' voice caused her to snap out of her trance. He was standing by his bike now, a few feet ahead of her, pulling his helmet out of the compartment.

Hurriedly, Lily jogged to catch up. "Did you want to walk home instead?" He asked, when she reached him. "Does my driving scare you?"

"No, that's not it," she responded, shaking her head and taking the helmet from him when he held it out to her. "I trust you."

He nodded once before swinging his leg up and over, patting the seat behind him. "Come on, then, I'll take you home."

Lily hoisted herself up onto the seat as well, pausing momentarily when her green jacket got caught in one of the bike's metal screws. She fumbled, trying to get it loose, when his big hands reached out and deftly succeeded in the task for her. "Thanks."

"No problem. You know, when you're riding a motorcycle, you shouldn't wear things that flap around like that," he noted, waiting as she finally managed to settle in behind him. "It's dangerous if something like that happens on the road."

She snaked her arms around his waist and locked her fingers together. "Is this just so that you won't have be embarrassed walking around with me because of the fact that I'm wearing this?"

He looked back over his shoulder. "That's part of it." At her grumble, he raised his hands. "It's not that I would be embarrassed telling people you are my girlfriend, Lily. I could care less about what other people think of my choice." Lily felt herself blush and she was glad that she had put the helmet on so that he could not see it. "It's just that I don't know why someone as beautiful as you would want to hide behind a mask."

"Well, aren't you romantic?" she asked, sarcastically.

"You'll find me articulate with words now and again," he told her. "And you know, for someone who doesn't talk very much, you're really flippant."

She grinned, leaning her forehead – or the helmet, rather – against his back in response. She could picture him throwing a grin over his shoulder as he revved his engine. "Whatever. If you want to keep the jacket on, go ahead. It's enough that you're actually willing to be my girlfriend."

"Is that what I am now?" Lily wondered, when he kicked the bike off onto the road.

"What, are _you_ embarrassed about it?"

Lily tightened her arms against his sides. "No," she said. "I have nothing to be embarrassed for. You're the most wanted guy at school. Everyone wants to date the almighty Sirius Black. I can't help but feel like maybe…" she trailed off, hoping that he hadn't heard a word she said over the roar of his engine.

Unfortunately for her, Sirius had. "Maybe what?"

"Like maybe you're just pulling my leg or something. Either that, or I'll wake up from a really good dream."

"Please stop," Sirius said, laughing. "You're making my ego inflate, you know."

"It's true, though!" Lily protested. "All the girls at school talk about you. And yet, you told me earlier that you have feelings for me, of all people. I'm nowhere near Bellatrix Lestrange in the beauty department."

They had come to a stop in front of a red light, by a park. It was fairly empty since the school day was not yet finished so that the only people that were present were a pair of old men who were playing a game of chess at the public tables, and a few people who were walking their dogs. There were a few joggers as well as the occasional couple, too.

Sirius did not pay attention to the park, however, staring at the traffic light as though willing it to hurry up and change colors already. He disliked it whenever he had to stall on a road. "As far as I'm concerned, Bellatrix doesn't hold a candle to you," he told her. "That girl is a wolf in sheep's clothing."

Lily swallowed back her questions about his past relationship with the woman, not wanting him to get upset. Instead, she asked, "If you weren't going to school, what have you been doing for the last two months?"

He never answered as the light turned green and he kicked them off again. For a long time, he never said anything and she wondered if he had heard her question at all. She was about to repeat it, when he asked one of his own. "I'll bet Dumbledore's already had me expelled, right? He and I made a deal that if I behaved, I could remain at the Academy."

"I'm sure he hasn't," Lily said, noting how he had intentionally changed the topic. It was probably something he did not want to talk about. "Does that mean you're planning on coming back?"

"Yeah, if I'm allowed," Sirius said, absently.

A wave of happiness washed through her. "Lupin and Pettigrew will be relieved," she told him. "The both of them were panicking at your absence. They said they'd tried everything to find you, so I guess I'm really lucky that I caught you when I did."

At that, Sirius said, "I didn't expect to see you by my apartment. How on earth did you manage to find out where I lived?"

"I asked Lestrange to give me your address."

He growled, "That bitch! She would do anything to get you hurt - "

"-She warned me it would be dangerous," Lily interrupted, trying to stem the rage that Sirius shook with, "but I didn't listen to her. If anything happened to me, it would be my fault, not hers. She really tried to talk me out of it." She tacked on the last bit for extra measure, giving Bellatrix more credit than she deserved, but Lily didn't want Sirius to repeat an episode with the woman again.

"It _is _dangerous," Sirius said, hotly. "The people that hang around there don't usually have their heads on straight. They could have hurt you – trust me, I know what they're capable of. Please, don't go there again on your own."

Lily shuddered at the implication behind his words. "Like I said, I was really lucky."

"Yeah, but don't try that luck again," he warned as he turned into her neighborhood. She hadn't expected to arrive so soon, and she wished that she didn't have to say goodbye to him just yet.

Like before, he parked at the sidewalk she directed him to and she reluctantly let her grip around his waist loosen but she made no move to get off. He didn't ask her what was wrong, instead, he turned slightly and looked over his shoulder at her again, waiting patiently.

Slowly, she undid the clasp of the helmet she wore and pulled it off. "I don't want to go home…" she told him.

He remembered her telling him the same thing the last time he had dropped her off. "Did you want me to bring you back to school?"

She shook her head so that in the sunlight, her dark goggles glinted. "No, it's probably over by now. And I don't think I want to hear lectures about how I missed important material." She scrunched up her nose in distaste at the thought. "I'm just afraid…"

"I told you, I won't disappear again," Sirius said, knowingly. "I'll be at school tomorrow, okay?"

She sighed and handed him his helmet, which he promptly tucked under his arm while he helped her out of her seat with his other arm. When both of her feet were firmly on the ground, he brushed back his bangs and said, "I'll be at work so you won't be able to call me and I'll be home late so you'll probably be asleep by the time I get back in."

No, she'd be awake. And she'd definitely want to her his voice, she was sure, so disappointment that she wouldn't be able to filled her.

She must have let her thoughts write themselves on her face because a worried look crossed his. "Lily?"

"It's nothing," she said, hastily, trying to sound as convincing as possible. She even gave him a wide grin.

"All right," he said, sounding unsure.

He made to put on his helmet, but stopped when she reached out and snagged his hand. Surprised, he dropped the protective gear and turned to her again. "Wha-?"

"Thank you," she said, not knowing how else to express her happiness at the way he accepted her so fully without asking her to unbury the skeletons in her closet.

He looked at her momentarily before leaning over and gently taking the material to her hood and drawing it down slowly so that her goggles were removed and he could see her green eyes clearly in the afternoon sun. Her red hair reminded him of those shampoo commercials, shimmering as it fell over her shoulders, let loose.

She didn't move as he touched a strand with a finger. When he began to stare at her, she felt self-conscious and she ducked her head. The finger left her hair and moved instead to her chin, lifting it slightly as he tried to catch her gaze. "I'll see you tomorrow, Lily," he promised.

And then, he kissed his fingertip and pressed it against her cheek before bending over to collect his helmet, fasten it in place, and speed away.

**To Be Continued….**

* * *

AN: Well, there you have it! Progress! Finally! I hope to get the next chapter out soon, but in the meantime, while you wait for it, please do leave me some feedback in the form of a review.

Thanks for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


	10. The Promises We Make

**GENUINE GEMINI by: P.P.V.V.**

_Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim Applies…all original characters/ideas are mine to claim._

* * *

**AN: **As the weather gets dreary, so does my mood, but somehow, (and thankfully) my writing did not get affected. Here's to my reviewers for their encouragement and eagerness – you know who you are!

Onwards.

* * *

_Previously:_

"_I'm just afraid…" Lily began to say._

_She didn't move as Sirius touched a strand of her hair with a finger. When he began to stare, she felt self-conscious and she ducked her head. The finger retreated and moved instead to her chin, lifting it slightly as he tried to catch her gaze. "I'll see you tomorrow, Lily," he promised._

_And then, he kissed his fingertip and pressed it against her cheek before bending over to collect his helmet, fasten it in place, and speed away._

* * *

**Chapter 10**

**- The Promises We Make -**

The stretch of land leading to the school building was filled with crowds of students moving slowly in bunches, hunched against the bitter wind that swept the campus.

Lately, it had gotten slightly colder because the winter season was upon them, yet surprisingly, no snow had arrived. The only depressing sign were the trees that stood bare of their leaves, swaying in the breeze. So, despite the cold, everyone was in high spirits as they chattered with one another, their voices ringing in the courtyard.

No one expected the deafening roar of an engine to slice though the morning air and they scrambled to make room for an unexpected motorcycle that hurtled down the lane like a bullet, parting the crowds in two, like waves in water.

And then, everyone began talking at once, the volume to the earlier chatter raising a notch or two as people craned their necks to see the motorcycle vanish into the school's parking lot. A few other students had picked up their pace, running after it.

News carried through the school hallways.

When it reached Professor Binn's History class, Remus was out of his seat and running to see for himself.

Lily, however, sat at her desk, her heart pounding so loud that the thrum of excited voices was lost to her. She concentrated on breathing as she slowly, methodically, placed her pens and pencils neatly in a row on her desk, arranging them by length as she usually did.

She didn't know what to think – the other day had been completely magical to her, even though all she had done was eat a meal with Sirius. Still, it hadn't seemed real when she woke up the next morning, and unconsciously, she touched her cheek where he had left his kiss the night before.

The fear that she would not see him again seemed lodged into her chest and she tried to squash the feeling, staring determinedly down at her desk.

Still…she was afraid to get her hopes up. After all, it wasn't like Sirius was the only person in the world to go to school on a motorcycle. It may well have been someone else.

Bracing herself for disappointment, she tried to distract herself by reading her textbook and trying to understand what was written inside.

It became harder to do, however, when the whole class suddenly became quiet, the background noise turning off all together.

Lily found herself turning to the doorway along with everyone else, holding her breath.

Sirius stepped inside, looking as though he had not missed a day of class, a silly grin on his face while he spoke with Remus.

He was wearing a red sports shirt today, a soccer jersey, advertising a team that Lily did not know (but then again, she didn't keep up with sports at all, so it was to be expected). Even though the weather had gotten worse, he wore a pair of track pants, the material made of something other than cotton so that it swished every time he walked. His hair, she noticed, was shorter than it had been yesterday. The gaunt look on his face had disappeared too, as though he had gotten a restful sleep the night before.

Quickly, she looked away before he could so much as meet her gaze, feeling ashamed of herself for doubting his word.

The smell of his cologne wafted around her as he went to his usual seat next to her, and unwillingly, Lily tilted her head up slightly to look at him from the corner of her goggles.

Sirius' wide grin softened and he sat down after slinging his book bag over the back of his chair. Smoothly, he took her left hand in his, under the desks. "Good morning, sweetheart," he whispered.

Her thumping heart calmed slightly at his endearment. The warmth of his fingers was real.

He was here.

"You look surprised to see me, even though I told you I'd be here," he noted when she stared at him with wide eyes.

She hunched her shoulders and squeezed his fingers in apology.

He detached them gently after a moment, winking at her so that she wouldn't get the wrong idea that he was trying to distance himself from her. He half-turned in his seat to his book bag to get his school supplies but paused and glanced at her sheepishly. "Hey, do you suppose I could borrow one of those?" he indicated her pens with a nod of his head. "I kinda forgot to bring…well…everything…"

"Why am I not surprised?" Sirius heard her mutter beneath her breath. That caused him to give her an innocent look, and he reached over to help himself.

She rolled her eyes in a way that indicated good-natured suffering, and turned her attention to the front of the class as the Professor chose that moment to stride in. He already seemed out of it when he took his place behind his desk, and Lily found it amusing when he did a double-take at Sirius' presence.

He cleared his throat, clearly trying to hide his surprise. "Well, Mr. Black, welcome back."

"Good to be back, sir," Sirius quipped.

"Er…yes…well…um…" Professor Binns began to fumble with his papers, pulling his reading glasses out from his breast pocket and putting them on so that he could make out the names on his list. "I'll have class come to order!"

Reluctantly, the rest of the students took their places, their excited chatter – no doubt about Sirius' sudden return to the Academy – dying down.

The Professor cleared his throat again and began to call out attendance, stumbling over Sirius' name which proved that he was still shocked to have to read it aloud again when he hadn't done so for quite some time.

Sirius seemed to be basking in all the attention he was getting and Lily wasn't surprised to see it. It was as though he had never left, and she found herself worrying about other things.

Would he act as he always did, flirting with every girl he saw?

A burst of jealousy bubbled from the pit of her stomach at the thought.

Of course he would – he had that kind of power and he wasn't afraid to use it. He was irresistible, drawing the girls to him like some sort of magnet. There was no way someone like her would be able to keep him away from the others.

Unconsciously, she found herself thinking of his laughter, the easy way he carried himself and the confidence he had when he spoke. The sound of his voice itself was downright sexy, in her opinion, and the memory of it made her blush as though he could hear her thoughts.

Lily nearly jumped out of her skin when Sirius suddenly lowered his hand under the desk and twined his fingers through hers again, looking over at her, a small smile lifting the corners of his mouth.

Shyly, she returned it, feeling everyone's curious stares burning holes into her, but she drew her courage from the fact that he had kept his promise and that he was sitting next to her again – where he should be, she decided.

The class proceeded as it normally did, with Professor Binns bent over his large history text, reading it word for word in a tone that could assure anyone's boredom. He only stopped briefly to scratch his nose at one point, but he never once looked up or made any effort to communicate with the class. If he had, he would have seen that half of them were passing notes to one another (and golly, what could they possibly be about?) while the other half were dozing or daydreaming.

Of course, the only one who bothered to take down notes was Lily. That is, when she was not distracted by Sirius's fingers impatiently drumming against the back of her hand under their desks.

Today, their lesson was on the founding of their Academy, something that the students should have been interested in knowing, but unfortunately, could care less about. Most of them wanted to get out of class already. Ewan Daniels, who sat toward the back of the class by the windows, let out a snore that was loud enough to wake his neighbor Jeremy Beckham from his nap.

Even that didn't interrupt the Professor. It was as though his students didn't exist, their giggling gone unnoticed. But then again, it was always like that.

It was just before the Bell rang that their class was – thankfully – interrupted by a student, who entered the room without bothering to knock. Well, even if he had he would have probably been ignored. Professor Binns didn't seem to notice his presence until the Prefect took his arm.

Startled, the Professor blinked at him. "Longbottom?"

Frank Longbottom was a lanky fellow, with arms and legs that were long. The way he moved was graceful and light, something that the other male students sniggered at. His sinewy frame was thin, slender, almost like that of a girl's. His face was smooth and while he wasn't exactly handsome, there was something about him that made people notice him. He always carried an air of serenity with him, and spoke in a quiet voice that rang with surety.

An artsy type.

"Sir, the Headmaster would like to see Sirius Black in his office," Frank said, dutifully delivering the message that he had been given to send.

"Black?" The Professor's voice wheezed, a clear indication that he had yet to come out of his one-tracked stupor. "The Headmaster?"

"Yes, sir," Frank patiently said, "he would like to see him right away."

This time, Professor Binns seemed to be more clear-headed as he glared down at Sirius. "Well, you heard the lad, boy. Get to the Headmaster's office." There was a tone in it that suggested that he shouldn't dawdle. Evidently, Professor Binns was not too thrilled to have his problem student back in class.

Sirius pretended not to notice the dislike in his tone as he rose from his seat, collecting his book bag from his chair. He turned to say something to Remus and then bent over to tell Lily that he'd meet her up by the small square after third period before following Longbottom out.

As soon as they were gone, the class began to chatter, and before Professor Binns could successfully call the class into order again, the Bell rang, signaling the end of the period.

All the way to second period, the hot topic was about Sirius, and rumors that Professor Dumbledore would not be very lenient with his lackluster student were the most prominent.

Lily couldn't help but listen in, hoping against hope that that wasn't the case. But somehow, she knew that Sirius would be lucky if he managed to convince the Headmaster to let him stay.

Dumbledore _had_ to, or else Lily's world would fall apart. It was, she knew, her only way of seeing him. The thought of his empty seat next to her again was depressing and she tried not to think of it as she hurried into her English class.

Still, even if he was expelled, at least Sirius had kept his promise – he had come to school - and she decided that that was good enough.

* * *

**And we laugh at ourselves**

**Because it's better than crying**

* * *

"You wanted to see me, sir?" Sirius asked, upon entering the room. Nothing had changed since the last time he had been in it, the semi-circular room still as crowded and claustrophobic with all the pictures of previous Headmasters and floor-to-ceiling shelves lined with books looking down at him from their places.

Dumbledore was sitting behind his messy desk, and was just folding a piece of paper into an envelope when Frank announced their presence.

"Ah, yes, please, take a seat," The Headmaster invited. "Mr. Longbottom, thank you for your time. Before you leave, however, do me another favor of kindly reminding the Bulletin that their top headlines are due today at noon. They haven't even submitted a rough draft and Professor Gibson is starting to panic."

Frank bobbed his head so that his dark, curly hair bounced. He looked between Sirius, who had seated himself on one of the plush armchairs in the room, and Dumbledore, before leaving the room obviously curious as to the rumors he had heard all morning.

Sirius expected Dumbledore to launch into a Lecture the moment the Prefect was gone, but was relieved when the man calmly went about his work, sealing the letter he had been folding into the envelope and starting to do so with another one.

"I'm getting old," Dumbledore sighed, when he had reached the fourth one. "But I'm a firm believer in having things done the old-fashioned way. There's nothing better than a personal touch to invitations, don't you think, Mr. Black?"

Uncomfortably, Sirius squirmed in his seat. Was this some kind of joke? "You're absolutely right, Professor. Am I invited to the event?"

At that, Dumbledore lifted his head to peer at him. "The Christmas Feast is for all students who are a part of Hogwarts Academy, my boy."

Now feeling even more uncomfortable, Sirius couldn't help but jump right to the point. "So I messed up."

"Again."

"Again." Sirius confirmed, with a nod of his head.

Dumbledore sighed. "Surely you remember our deal, Mr. Black."

"I do. But don't you believe in third chances?"

As he had hoped, Dumbledore smiled. "I thought a second one would be enough. How many chances do you expect to have?"

Sirius turned his glare away, knowing that it wasn't helping his situation. "I won't need any more. I won't mess up again, I promise."

"You gave me your word three months ago…" Dumbledore started to say.

Sirius took a deep breath that sounded more like a sigh. "I know that. I'm sorry. I really am, Professor."

"I wish it were that easy, Sirius," Dumbledore said, gently, putting aside another envelope that he had finished sealing. His hands were steady despite his earlier claim that his age was catching up to him. "To graduate, one needs a certain amount of school hours, and seeing as how you have cut a huge majority of them…"

"Are you saying I need to stay back another year?" Sirius interrupted. "If that's the case, I'll do it. Just don't expel me, Professor." For some reason, he was desperate. "I'll do every make up test I need to. I'll even do extra credit if that counts for anything."

Dumbledore pressed his thin lips together, thinking, his blue eyes studying the man sitting across from him. "Staying back another year does not excuse your disappearance. It was irresponsible and childish. What do you have to say for yourself?"

At that, Sirius leaned back against his seat, knowing that this was the reason why he had been very apprehensive about being summoned by the Headmaster. The man was almost as bad as his parental unit, who always needed to know where he was going and why. If there was one thing Sirius hated, it was being watched, but he knew that throwing tantrums now would not be tolerated.

He clutched the armrests of his chair, pulling his bottom lip up with his top teeth as he contemplated telling the truth. Finally, he leaned forward and said, "Headmaster, I could lie to you, you know."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow, but played along. "Oh, you definitely could try, but I have my ways of knowing…"

Indignantly, Sirius got out of his seat. "You've been spying on me?"

Usually, such an angry reaction had people cowering in their place, but the old man merely looked at the student with slight amusement, knitting his gnarled hands together under his chin. "Your friends were worried about you, Sirius. Their checking up on you was perfectly natural."

They glared at each other for a second before Sirius huffed and flopped back down in his seat, feeling more than a little disgruntled. So far, he wasn't making a very good impression and if his request to continue staying at the school was going to work, he would have to control his temper. He concentrated on keeping his anger in check, unwilling to meet Dumbledore's gaze again.

He was surprised at Dumbledore's gentle voice: he had expected it to sound harsh and reprimanding. "Lupin checked the places you usually go when you are not in school. Now, if you weren't working and obviously not at your father's house, where could you have possibly gone?"

Sirius drew in a breath. "Professor…where do _you_ think I've been for the last two months?"

"I had thought that Hogwarts Academy just didn't suit your…style…and perhaps you had transferred to another school." The end of his sentence was raised slightly like a question instead of a statement.

"I would have done that, just to spite my father," Sirius mused, darkly. "I quit my job, Professor, because I found a better one: I'm now a shipper at a company that rival's my old man's. Appropriate, don't you think?"

"Sirius…"

Sirius drew back his lips in what looked like a grimace and defiantly lifted his head.

Dumbledore sighed and asked, "That's it, then? You've been working?"

"I didn't say that," Sirius said, draping his arm across the back of his chair, clearly enjoying the runaround he was leading. How far could he go to piss the Headmaster off, he wondered? "I got hired there three days ago, so I can't have been working for the last two months."

"Well, a legitimate excuse could possibly earn your pardon," Dumbledore told him, patiently. "Most people would tell you that they don't have all day, Mr. Black, but I can tell you I do, and I'm still waiting to hear the truth."

Sirius hated the way he sounded so smug. He had to swallow back his anger again with great difficulty. "You want to hear the truth, Dumbledore?" He sneered. "It's not pretty."

"Yes, there is a saying that goes along that line," Dumbledore agreed, sounding unfazed by the way Sirius had so blatantly shown disrespect. "What was it? The truth hurts?" He wondered to himself aloud.

Rolling his eyes, Sirius slowly said, "I went back to the center."

Now that got Dumbledore's attention. "You were brought back?"

"I admitted myself," Sirius snapped, not liking that he had to have this conversation at all. "And it's none of your business why."

Dumbledore didn't take up the challenge, nodding once. "And what did you find out while you were there?"

Sirius looked down at the armrest, picking at a thread on the leather, absently. "I found out that I'd really like to try and lead a normal life, sir. And that means going to school and getting my priorities straight."

"Enlightened?"

Sirius smiled. "No, more like, 'convinced'."

"May I ask who…?"

"Lily Evans, sir."

"Ah."

Finally, agitation won out and Sirius demanded, "So what's your verdict, Professor? Are you going to hang me out to dry or are you going to have mercy after hearing my pitiful story?" he purposefully let his voice drip with sarcasm, but even that didn't seem to annoy the elder man.

Dumbledore walked toward the telescope that stood on a raised platform at the end of the room. Why he even had it there was a mystery to Sirius, because there wasn't a window on level – the only one was way above their heads in the form of a skylight, which was currently letting the sun shine in beams around them. It hadn't even occurred to the student that the lights hadn't been turned on.

"Very well, I'll petition the Board on your behalf," Dumbledore said, leaning down to peer into the telescope's lens. What he could possibly be looking at, Sirius had no clue. "But I will not hear of you missing any more classes for any reason. Should you 'get sick' I will need an authorized paper from the school's nurse."

"All right, I can handle that," Sirius readily agreed.

"I'm not done," Dumbledore said. "I will personally monitor every score for every test or paper you hand in – including the ones you have to catch up on. And in order not to fall behind another year, you'll have to take those extra credits and ace those final exams with more than just a passing mark, Mr. Black."

So, they were back to formalities. Sirius couldn't believe his ears! In other words, Dumbledore would be monitoring his every move. He felt the words of refusal build in his throat, but thought of Lily and meekly said, "Right…I can handle that too."

At last, Dumbledore straightened and clasped his hands in front of him. Today, he wore a white ruffled shirt and a pair of baggy black pants. It was so casual that one would never have thought he was the Headmaster of a school. "I'm glad we've come to an understanding, then."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Sirius got to his feet. "Thanks, Professor."

"This is the last time." Dumbledore warned, bending down toward his telescope again.

"Yes, sir."

"Have a good day, Mr. Black."

More than eager to get out, Sirius mumbled his reply before leaving. A quick glance at the time told him that second period was well on its way. For a moment, he contemplated running to his, but changed his mind, taking out a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket.

Oh, he would go to class, but Dumbledore hadn't said anything about not being late…

**0-0-0-0-0**

By the time third period finished and everyone was excused for Lunch, a hundred stories of Sirius' predicament had circulated. Okay, so maybe that was an exaggeration, but from what Lily had heard, there were quite a few speculations.

Community service.

Police investigation.

Drug abuse.

Murder.

Those were only some.

Lily shook her head as she hurried up the stairs, past the signs that forbid the students entry, and toward the square which had become her solace over the past few months.

Honestly, she just didn't know where people got off thinking such ridiculous things, and wondered how long they would keep things up.

Sirius was already waiting for her, his back against the railing, slouched over so that his black hair covered his face. He raised his head when he heard the door open and for a second, he reminded Lily of a feral beast. Then, he gave her a dazzling smile and she returned it, shaking off the feeling of being afraid as she jogged over.

"Took you long enough," he joked, coming to his feet.

"Sirius! How did it go? Are you expelled? Are you being sent away?" The questions tumbled from Lily's mouth before she could stop herself, and he chuckled, taking her forearm in his hand.

"It's fine, Lily. The Headmaster said he'd take care of things," Sirius answered. "It looks like I'm stuck here until the end."

Lily frowned. "What were you doing?"

Sirius turned slightly and retrieved a pocket-sized book, thin and small enough to fit in the pocket of his pants. "I was trying to catch up," he said, handing it to her.

"A dictionary?"

"Yeah."

"A vocabulary test?" Lily teased, flipping through it.

"It's for Latin," Sirius said, snatching it from her and scowling good-naturedly. "Dumbledore said that if I wanted to stay here I kinda have to…brush up my act a little. And that," he said, tucking the book back into his pocket, "is where you come in."

She tilted her head to the side in question and he said, "You'll have to be my tutor for a little while. If I mess up again, Dumbledore won't give me another chance."

Ugh.

Latin.

The one class Lily hated the most – it was the class where she received the lowest marks because she never participated in discussions. "I can try," she said. "If anything, you'll be able to pass your other courses. I'll help you in any way I can as long as…" she trailed off, embarrassed.

"As long as what, Lils?"

"…As long as you can stay by my side, I'll do anything," she finished, blushing.

He stared at her for a moment, wondering what he had gotten himself into. The fear that she was attaching herself to him too quickly rose in him again, but he pushed it away – she was so charming. God, how could she have fallen for him? On the flip side, how could he have fallen in love with someone so naive?

Talk about irony!

"I told you, I'm not going anywhere," he said. "I'm gonna give it a shot, remember? I'm a man of my word."

He got the desired effect, because she giggled. "We could start now," she suggested. "Studying, that is."

He groaned, "Aw, gosh, Lily, you're like a Task Master."

"You said you needed it," she pressed, "and if you want to actually pass with decent marks, you have to start now – you're running out of time."

Sirius saluted, clicking the heels to his running shoes together. "Yes ma'am. Try to go easy on me."

They spent the next hour reviewing and if they hadn't been sitting right next to the clock tower, they would have forgotten all about the time. They were rudely interrupted by the long peals and the fluttering of wings as the birds that were perched on the tower's ledges flew away.

Sirius got to his feet smoothly, holding a hand out to Lily to help her up. She took it gratefully, and gathered her things together, hugging them to her chest. "Maybe you should go down ahead of me," she suggested, when he pulled her forward.

"Why?"

"Well, you know..." Lily waved her hand in the air as if the rest of her sentence was irrelevant. When he continued to give her a blank stare, she impatiently finished, "…if people see us together, your reputation - "

"-Oh, don't be so righteous," Sirius scoffed, angrily. "Do you really think I care about that?"

Her answer was blunt and he winced because of it. "Yes."

"I already told you, I'm not ashamed of letting people know you are my girlfriend," Sirius began to protest, but she cut him off.

"I know that. But I also know a part of you doesn't like those rumors that are circulating. I don't want to make them worse."

He seemed to consider her words for a moment before suddenly yanking her forward toward him, causing her to yelp in surprise. "It's already too late for that," he whispered. "Let them think whatever they want. It's more fun that way."

"But…"

"Don't argue, please?" Sirius begged. "I came back here because you asked me to. Doesn't that count for anything?"

Oh, right, send her packing on a guilt trip why didn't he?

Lily looked away, not liking the argument they were having. She just wanted him to see that she would not cause him any trouble. Before she could say so aloud, he silenced her by putting one of his long fingers over her lips. "I really don't care about my reputation. It's pretty much shot already. Besides, they'll have to get used to the sight of us being together because I won't have it any other way."

Despite herself, Lily cracked a smile. "Now who's initiating the relationship? I thought you were totally against the idea?"

Sirius glowered at her, playfully. "You, my dear, have got to learn to control that flippant tongue of yours."

In response, Lily stuck her tongue out at him caught up in his suddenly light mood. She laughed aloud when he tackled her in a crushing embrace, the warmth of his arms sending a shock down her back and legs. She loved the feeling, drinking in every bit of it as she could before it ended.

He tugged her hand again after he had set her back. "Come on," he drew her forward. "We'll be late for class. Dumbledore'll be on my case, only after McGonogall lets him have what's left of it."

This time, Lily didn't argue, following him closely as he led them back down the stairs, past throngs of people who were making their way from the cafeteria to their respective classes. She tried to ignore the looks people were giving her, and was relieved when Sirius' grip on her hand only tightened in response to the whispers that instantly began to spread.

A few classrooms away, he suddenly stopped, and Lily peeked out from behind him to see the reason why. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw Bellatrix standing in the middle of the hallway, her arms crossed under her breasts. Her beauty was almost blinding even though she glared at the pair of them.

It didn't seem to faze Sirius at all though, because he smoothly greeted her. "Hello, Bellatrix." His voice was cautious, and he put a hand on Lily's arm as if to shield her from the woman.

"You got him back, I see." Bellatrix nodded toward Lily, ignoring Sirius all together. "You owe me, big time."

At that, Sirius's brows drew down in a glower and he was surprised when Lily addressed Bellatrix directly. "Yes, I do. Thank you…If you hadn't helped me…"

"Then you two wouldn't be together," Bellatrix cut in, scathingly. A mocking smile crossed her lips. "I hope you know what you're getting into."

Lily seemed to shrink back. "I…"

"Gonna use her, like everyone else?" Bellatrix demanded of Sirius. "Or have your tastes really changed for the worse?"

"I don't know how anything could get worse after dating you," replied Sirius. This time, his tone had a snarl in it; a warning.

At that, Bellatrix snorted, something that seemed very unnatural for someone who looked so refined. "Yeah, I know, Sirius. I won't touch your girlfriend again."

The warning was not quite gone from Sirius' tone. "You'd better not. Come on, Lily. Let's get going." Without waiting for a response, he led the way, his long loping strides making his companion have to trot to catch up.

She paused by Bellatrix who gave her a sad smile. "I really don't know what he sees in you…" she said, "but apparently, it was enough to bring him back." She paused, lifted her chin haughtily and walked away, in the opposite direction as the bell rang again, signaling the start of classes.

Lily turned to watch her go.

…Did Bellatrix just try to thank her?

"Lily! What are you waiting for? We're late!"

Sirius' call made her jump and rush forward, taking the proffered hand he held out to her. He frowned, saying, "The Professor will cook us alive now – that's what she does on her spare time, you know. All ogres do." At that exact moment, Professor McGonogall stuck her head outside of the class, a scowl on her wrinkled face.

"I heard that, Mr. Black," she said, darkly.

With a grin, Sirius ducked his head and pushed past her, pulling Lily alongside him.

Yeah, it was good to be back.

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

AN: I hope everyone liked this chapter. The next one will be more intense, so I hope to see you all there next update. When that will be, please keep your eyes open. Thanks to all of you who emailed me and reviewed for me, pestering me to update. I really appreciate it and I would love to hear from you! Please let me know your thoughts. Good? Bad?

Thanks for reading!

-P.P.V.V.


	11. Facing Fears

**GENUINE GEMINI by: P.P.V.V.**

Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim Applies. All original characters/ideas are mine to claim.

* * *

AN: Well, I finally managed to get around to writing this chapter! I really apologize for my lack of updating, but I really can't do much about it given the time I actually have to sit down in front of my computer. I had planned this chapter to be a brutally terrible one, but the characters decided to take matters into their own hands.

Thanks to all my reviewers!

Onward.

* * *

_Previously: _

"_Hello, Bellatrix." Sirius' voice was cautious, and he put a hand on Lily's arm as if to shield her from the woman._

"_You got him back, I see." Bellatrix nodded toward Lily, ignoring Sirius all together. "You owe me, big time."_

_At that, Sirius's brows drew down in a glower and he was surprised when Lily addressed Bellatrix directly. "Yes, I do. Thank you…If you hadn't helped me…"_

"_Then you two wouldn't be together," Bellatrix cut in, scathingly. A mocking smile crossed her lips. "I hope you know what you're getting into."_

_Lily seemed to shrink back. "I…"_

"_Gonna use her, like everyone else?" Bellatrix demanded of Sirius. "Or have your tastes really changed for the worse?"_

"_I don't know how anything could get worse after dating you," replied Sirius. This time, his tone had a snarl in it; a warning._

_At that, Bellatrix snorted, something that seemed very unnatural for someone who looked so refined. "Yeah, I know, Sirius. I won't touch your girlfriend again."_

_The warning was not quite gone from Sirius' tone. "You'd better not. Come on, Lily. Let's get going." Without waiting for a response, he led the way, his long loping strides making his companion have to trot to catch up._

_She paused by Bellatrix who gave her a sad smile. "I really don't know what he sees in you…" she said, "but apparently, it was enough to bring him back." She paused, lifted her chin haughtily and walked away, in the opposite direction as the bell rang again, signalling the start of classes.

* * *

  
_

**Chapter 11**

**- Facing Fears -**

"Sirius. Evans." Remus nodded casually at the both of them, but Lily did not miss the way his eyes did not quite meet hers. Peter, on the other hand, who was standing next to him, stared at her openly. It was obvious that he was uncomfortable with her presence, with the way he pursed his lips together in a disapproving manner.

Lily tried to shrink away, but Sirius's restraining hand on her arm prevented her from doing so. He gave her an exasperated look before turning back to his friends. "I'm sorry I missed your last game. I heard it was awesome."

"Yeah, you'll never get to see me make that play again," Peter said, and Remus snorted.

"That's because it was a fluke." He deftly dodged a punch that was directed his way from his fellow team mate before looking pointedly at Sirius. "More importantly, where have you been all this time?"

Sirius secured his arm around Lily's waist as if in an attempt to keep her from running away. She tensed only momentarily before relaxing into his touch. "I had things to do," he answered, vaguely. "I got another job and everything just got out of hand."

Remus glared at him. "You didn't even bother to inform us." It was more of a question than a statement, and Sirius winced at the accusing tone behind it.

"Yeah, sorry about that, mate…if anything turned out for the worse, I wanted it to be a clean break."

Lily glanced up at him, trying to read through his poker face. There was something in the way his grip tightened at her side that told her that he was lying. He did not look back at her, instead, calmly continued, "But I managed to get everything…settled. What's important is that I'm back and I'm not going anywhere." This time, he drew Lily closer in emphasis. "I made a promise."

Now both boys turned their gazes on her, and she shyly met them through her darkened goggles.

For a long moment, no one spoke. Then finally, Peter said, "Sirius…I thought it was only a bet…no one said you actually had to date her!"

Sirius sighed. "Look guys, I know that at first, it was all a joke, but I'm serious about my decision. I won't stand it if you hurt her in any way."

Again, their gazes turned Lily's way, and she felt her cheeks heat up. She didn't know whether to feel angry or embarrassed and she looked away.

It was Remus who broke the uncomfortable silence this time around. "We're just glad to have you back, man." He took a step forward and addressed Lily. "I'm sorry if we insulted you in any way, Evans."

Peter, however, did not bother to extend an apology. Instead, he reached out and snagged Sirius' free arm. "We need to talk."

It seemed as though Sirius was going to refuse but then he sighed and bent slightly so that his face was next to Lily's. "Give us a minute, Lils. I'll be right back." In response, she nudged him with her shoulder and he parted from her, moving with the boys a short distance away. She watched them, listening to the thrum of their voices as they began to argue.

By the way Peter moved, he seemed agitated. Sirius stood still as stone, hunched slightly against the bitter winds, his chin-length hair, held back into a small ponytail at the back of his neck, flaying in the breeze. Remus leaned himself against the roof's railing. Even from where she stood, Lily could clearly make out what they were saying.

"You know your whole reputation will go down the drain when people see you with her," Peter was saying. "Everyone's already talking. Don't you care?"

When Sirius never responded, Peter tried a different approach. "And what about her? Do you know how many people will target her just to get to you?"

At that, Sirius straightened. Knowing that he had hit a chord, Peter insisted, "She could get hurt."

"This isn't about me or her, is it?" Sirius demanded. "This is about you guys. If you don't like the thought of her hanging around us, then that's fine. But I already told you I've made my decision and I'm not going to change it."

Remus pushed himself away from the railing. "It _is _about you!" He glanced momentarily in Lily's direction and then back to Sirius. "While I do think she's better off in her own corner and that she's dressed weird, Peter's right – not only will you be ridiculed, don't forget that there are a lot of other girls who aren't happy with Evans' position as your girlfriend, Sirius. You won't always be there to protect her."

Sirius' hands balled into fists and Lily held her breath. She remembered vividly the way he had lost his temper with Bellatrix, and she wondered whether he would get into a brawl right then and there. Then, slowly, his fingers unclenched themselves and he muttered, "I know…"

"She's already been bullied by Lestrange," Remus pressed. "And you know as well as I do that she's not the only girl out there that will be jealous."

"I know that, too."

"And the groups you hang out with?"

Sirius shouted, "I know!!!" His voice was filled with sadness. "I know, all right? I know the consequences. I tried to stop myself from liking her because of them. I couldn't…"

Peter spoke too softly for Lily to hear, but she could read his lips. "Then why take the chances, Sirius?"

His answer caught them all off-guard.

"Because I love her!"

* * *

**Sometimes, it's just better to pretend…**

**Because in that world, everything is perfect…

* * *

  
**

The first snowfall of the year.

Each snowflake floated down lazily and touched upon the concrete in a gentle manner, almost as if they were caressing the earth in a soft embrace. Their beauty went unnoticed though, because Lily could only make out the figure in front of her.

Remus and Peter had left shortly after their heated argument, leaving the two of them alone together. Sirius had his back to her, and she hovered back a small distance, waiting for him to say something.

Anything.

Finally, she took a step forward. "Sirius…"

He turned slightly at the sound of her voice.

"Sirius, you'll get a cold…"

His silence was overwhelming. She didn't know what to make of it. Perhaps he was regretting his decision after all? Slowly, she moved to stand behind him. "Sirius…"

"Lily…" Her name came from trembling lips. "…could you hug me, please?"

Her heart cried out at his request and without thinking, she reached out and pulled him to her.

He buried his face into her shoulder, and bewildered, Lily listened to his sobs. She wanted to ask him what was wrong, but she didn't, pulling him closer to her instead.

They stood that way for a long while, so long that Lily was sure she had developed frostbite in her fingers, but she didn't complain. Surely Sirius wasn't any warmer than she was.

He sounded tired when he spoke next. "Come on, I should take you home."

Obediently, Lily followed him, eyeing his back as he loped ahead. When he had pulled away from her, she had seen his red-rimmed eyes and the frown that was etched onto his face. Once seated behind him on his motorcycle, she tightened her hold around his waist, fearing that if she let go, she would never see him again.

The ride home was silent, and when he touched her hands with his, she felt as if someone had taken a red-hot poker and held it to her heart.

"I'm sorry…" She whispered.

Sirius turned look over his shoulder. "For what?"

"For causing you so much pain."

He sighed. "Don't be silly."

"But weren't you crying because…?"

"No."

There it was again: the sadness that leaked through his voice. "Sirius…"

"Please, don't leave me…" he murmured, suddenly.  
He sounded lost and alone, and she squeezed his hands. "I won't."

Gently, he helped her off the motorcycle and took the helmet from her. His cold fingers brushed tears from her face – tears she had not known had fallen. "Thank you," he whispered. She closed her eyes as his fingers continually caressed her cheeks.

She opened them again when he stopped. "Was it true, what you said, on the rooftop?"

Sirius knew exactly what she was talking about. "Yes." He pulled her forward and bent slightly so that his lips were just inches from hers. "I've fallen in love with you, Lily Evans, and even though I've tried to stop myself, I can't help it."

"Sirius..." but she could say no more because he was suddenly kissing her in an imploring, apologetic way.

_You really don't care what others think, do you? _

Oddly enough, there was no fear in her chest, just an overwhelming happiness that seemed to consume her as she put her arms around his neck and kissed him back.

**0-0-0-0-0**

The clang of lockers ceased as people looked up when she passed by. A few groups who stood clustered in the middle of the hallways parted, staring after her. No matter where she went, heads turned to stare after her, and a trail of whispers followed her to the classroom.

Well, of course they would. It took all her courage not to cringe and shy away. She straightened her back in determination, refusing to meet anyone's curious gazes. It would only serve to bring on more questions, and she didn't think she'd have the courage to answer them.

The only thing she had wanted was to be invisible…

When she entered the classroom, all conversation died down. Remus, who was chatting with Sirius, nudged his friend. The latter, upon turning his head to see what the commotion was about, jumped out of his seat in surprise.

"Lily?!"  
That one word seemed to cause a riot. There was no way the woman standing in the doorway was Lily Evans! Where was the green coat? The ridiculous goggles? Instead, she was wearing a plaid black and white trench coat that did not have a hood and revealed long red hair that was let loose to fall over her shoulders. Her green eyes sought out only one person, however, oblivious to the stares and commotion that her appearance was receiving.

Sirius was in front of her in a moment, his posture half-poised as if to shield and conceal her. "Lily…what…?" But he didn't have the chance to ask her another question because the bell rang at that exact moment and Professor Binns entered the classroom, announcing that class would begin.

Obediently, everyone took their seats, though many of the students craned their necks to get a glimpse of the new look that Lily seemed to have adopted. Even Professor Binns, after having read her name out loud, seemed to falter for a moment, no doubt wondering what brought about the sudden change.

Once class finished, however, Sirius was the first out of his seat and he dragged Lily out the door even before she had a chance to gather all her things and pack them away properly. "We've got to talk," he said, leading her out of the class and towards his locker.

He spun to face her once they had reached their destination. "Why, Lily? What happened?" He demanded.

Lily hugged her textbooks to herself. "I did it…for you…"

"What?!"

His angry tone made her flinch. "I know everyone was making it hard for you because of the way I dress," she replied, in a small voice. Did her prefer her in the green coat? "I thought that…well, if I stopped looking weird, they could accept the fact that we're dating…"

Sirius squeezed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger and let out a deep sigh. "Lily, you didn't have to do that. I thought we already had this argument? I told you, I don't care what others think."

"I know that," Lily told him, putting a hand on his chest in a reassuring way. "It's just that…"

"If it makes you uncomfortable, you shouldn't have to force yourself," Sirius told her. He lifted a hand to touch a strand of her red hair, twirling it between his fingers absently.

People were already starting to file out of their classrooms to get to their next lessons of the day so Lily spoke fast before the sense of shyness could reach up to grasp her again. "It's okay, Sirius. I want to do this. I'm tired of running away."

"But…other people will be looking at you."

"That's okay, too." Lily blushed, self-consciously. He almost sounded jealous and it made her smile. "As long as all I see is you, it will be okay."  
He smiled back, uncertainly. "All right then," he conceded, "but will you be all right? I don't want you to have a breakdown or anything…you know I don't mind how you looked in that jacket…"

"I'll be just fine. You've given me enough courage for this. I've thought about it, and that's my conclusion."

"Well, you look beautiful," Sirius told her, tucking the strand he was playing with behind her ear for her. He had never meant those words as strongly as he did now. "And everyone else thinks so too, I'm sure. Don't you doubt it for a moment."

She ducked her head at that, and he had just taken her hand when he heard voices behind him. Turning, he saw that it was Remus and Peter, along with a fellow basketball teammate named Daneb, picking their way across the hallway toward them. He glanced once more at Lily, who shied back slightly. He stepped in front of her, taking a protective position as his friends came up to them. It was Daneb who spoke. "Black, so I see the rumors are true, that you've taken Evans as your woman."

"Yes, I have," Sirius answered, proudly. "I'm not up to sharing, either, so don't even think about having a go at her."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Daneb said, holding his hands up. He peered at Lily, who did not look up at him. "Well, at least the rumors of her being ugly aren't true."

Remus nudged him with his elbow. "Don't talk about Evans as if she weren't right in front of you!" He scolded. He proceeded to reach behind him, unzip his book bag and hand her a textbook. "You forgot this in class when your idiot boyfriend rushed you out. And Sirius, Professor Dumbledore wants a word with you in his office – the page came after you'd left."

Sirius rolled his eyes. It was probably because he was doing a check up of his performance. He wasn't looking forward to getting another lecture. Lily looked up at him worriedly and he smiled down at her. "Sorry, sweetheart. You'll have to go on ahead to class. Will you be okay without me?"

She nodded and he planted a kiss on her forehead before walking away. It seemed as if the whole world was put on pause and that everyone in the school honed in on that last action because once again, all heads were turned in their direction. The staring eyes seemed to burn holes into her and Lily fought the urge to hunch her shoulders.

Peter cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable with the display of affection he had just seen. Whether he was still upset about their dating status, or if he had accepted it, Lily didn't know. "Well…we should get going too…"

"Are you coming, Evans?" Remus asked, turning to follow.

Lily hung back, gripping her text book to herself and shook her head. With Sirius gone, she was rapidly beginning to lose that courage she had possessed at the beginning of the day. Remus seemed to understand because he inclined his head once and ushered his friends away from her.

She stared after them, wishing she wasn't such a coward. The thought of going up to the restricted section to be alone was very appealing; she wouldn't have to hear the whispers or see the skeptical glances that kept coming her way.

But they followed her as she slowly walked to her next class of the day. She was glad when no one approached her and she made it to English in one piece. Just like what happened at the beginning of the day, all conversation stopped when she walked through the door. Professor McGonogall even asked her if she was a new student at the school, but Remus came to her rescue, saving her from having to speak.

It was like that for the rest of the day's classes, too, and while Lily thought that she should have become used to it, she was glad of Sirius' appearance during fifth period. With him by her side, she felt like she could take on the world. With him around, it was as though a heavy burden was lifted from her and she could breathe easily again.

He chuckled, amused at her eagerness when he showed up in their Latin class. Jared, who sat next to her during that period and was just mustering up the guts to speak with her, nearly knocked over his chair when Sirius ambled up to them. "Hey, Jared," Sirius greeted, casually, his hands in his pockets. "Do you mind if we trade seats for the day?"

Trying to be just as nonchalant, Jared gave his friend a half-smile as he stood. "Not at all."

Sirius clapped his shoulder and slid into the seat. "Thanks, man. I appreciate it."

"Not a problem," Jared assured him. "There's a race today, after school. Charlie and Amos are planning to join it. Wanna come down and watch?"

"I'll be there," Sirius promised, though he didn't sound very enthusiastic. Lily caught the sudden change of mood in his tone, even though his facial expression remained the same. They made a few arrangements and Jared cast Lily a curious look before moving away to take Sirius' regular seat.

Sensing Lily's gaze on him, he turned to face her. "What?"

She pursed her lips and tilted her head, in response. He smiled slightly at that, guessing her apprehension. "It's nothing to be worried over," he assured her. "I would just rather spend the time with you."

That got the desired effect – her face lit up into a smile that warmed his heart. It was so easy to please her and seeing her happy made him happy. He cast a glance over toward Jared and asked, "Did anyone try to hit on you, yet?"

This time, she rolled her eyes and he winked back at her. They could not exchange any more banter because Professor Trelawny called the class to order. Surprisingly, the class went by quickly and Sirius was able to keep up fairly well. Afterwards, he told Lily that he could not have done it without her help.

When school finished, he insisted to take Lily home before going to watch the race. Despite the fact that the day had gone by without any incidents, both felt mentally and physically drained. Maybe it was because of the way they had had to endure so many critical glances that they normally would not have. In any case, they were grateful when they were on the road, speeding away, leaving all their worries and troubles to trail behind them in the wind.

Without having to be told, Sirius dropped Lily off at the same place he had in the past. They said their goodbyes and she watched wistfully as he revved the engine of his bike in a final farewell before kicking off again.

Then, she turned to go back to her personal hell.

**0-0-0-0-0**

He sat atop his bike, watching the warm up from a distance. Around the perimeter of the chosen track was a gallery of at least a hundred spectators. He did not want to join them; did not want to make his presence known.

The day was winding to an end, the sun setting on the horizon making the sky look a blood red. All the racers were bathed in a light that was fascinating, yet eerie at the same time, like a spotlight that was tainted, half clouded by a film of dirt. Once the sun was gone completely, the race would begin.

_How long has it been?_ He wondered to himself.

"Two years…" a distant voice in the wind whispered, making a chill run through his body.

Feeling sick to his stomach, Sirius placed both hands on his bike's handles, concentrating on breathing. He could hear the sounds of engines and rubber sliding across pavement. He didn't know whether it made him feel better or worse.

_Worse,_ he decided, at last.

He didn't want to be there.

…Or did he?

Yeah, he was definitely going to be sick.

He had just finished shifting his gears and was about to kick off when he heard a car's horn honk behind him. Turning slightly, he saw Jared climb out of the passenger seat, to an old Civic. Charlie and Amos tumbled from the back seats right after him. Tyler, seated behind the wheel, gave Sirius a small wave.

Weasely got to him first, his longer strides carrying him easily. Sirius could smell the alcohol on his breath even before he came to stand next to him. "Fancy seeing you here, Black. You feeling better?"

Sirius turned, a tight smile in his lips. "Just checking the competition. I heard you were gonna join today."

"If anyone should join it should be you!" Charlie did not seem to see Sirius' grimace. "You're a natural pro. I've seen you ride – you're amazing!"

"We've been over this a hundred times, Charlie," Sirius sighed, pulling the visor to his helmet down. "I can't race. I hate racing."

"Bullshit. Don't lie. You used to."

Sirius sighed again. "Charlie…"

"If you hate it so much, why do you always come here?"

This time, Sirius' teeth audibly clacked together. "Just leave it, okay? I shouldn't be here. I should go."

The man's hand came out and grasped his. "Listen, at least watch. I know you want to. Donovan Verovich's gonna be here any moment. He's joining today, too, apparently."

Donovan Verovich – one of the best racers in the book.

The fact that he was coming to a small practice race was probably to boost his fan base as opposed to coming out for fun. Sirius almost felt sorry for the other participants. They would bite his dust – literally.

He leaned back in his seat, undecided, wavering between wanting to stay and watch what would most definitely be an interesting race, yet wanting to leave because he was becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

If he just watched, maybe he would go unnoticed…

His stomach clenched and his breath flew from his lungs as it loved to do whenever he remembered something. He gasped and shook his head. "No…" he muttered, "No, I don't think I will." He tried to sound calm and collected but to his ears he sounded strained. "If he's coming, I can already guess the results. It won't be much to see."

Charlie looked disappointed. "I guess you're right. But you should stick around anyway. Maybe there will be a challenger at the end of the race."

A challenger.

Where once that notion would have made his adrenaline rush in excitement, it now made his breath catch again. This time, he started his engine. "I doubt it," he muttered. "I have something I have to do. I'll see you around, mate."

"Well, if you have time later, let's go out for some pool," Charlie suggested.

At that, Sirius managed a smile. "No drinks though, right?"

His friend laughed in response and Sirius proceeded to kick off, waving one hand and choosing not to make any promises. Some of the spectators turned curiously, but he paid them no mind, racing off down the path once again.

He'd tried to face his past as the doctors back at the center had told him to do, but he was reaching his limit.

Maybe it was hopeless.

The thought was more than depressing and he drew in a deep breath, wishing he had had not forgotten to take his pills that morning.

As if to make things worse, bright headlights blinded him momentarily and he squinted, bringing a hand up as if to shield himself.

The roar of an engine made his heart begin to pump faster. Another bike was coming straight toward him at high speed, the rider pressed down almost flat against it. In seconds it would smash into him and Sirius could already see the puff of smoke and the flames that the collision would cause. The smell of burning flesh…the sight of broken bones…

He revved his own engine, twice, in warning, but the rider did not deviate from his course.

Gritting his teeth, Sirius pushed down on his gas pedal, increasing his speed slightly. He'd be damned if he was the first to turn away.

Apparently the rider of the other vehicle was of the same opinion because instead of moving to the other side, he also sped up.

Sirius' grip on his handlebars tightened as his rival got close enough for him to see the polished motorcycle in front of him more clearly. It was well-maintained and tuned, its glossy blue color like a slap to the face. Without thinking, he jerked his bike to the right so hard that his wrist – the same one he had sprained just two months ago – screamed in protest. The sudden moment nearly threw him from his seat, but he clung on, grunting with the effort as the dust of the road scratched at his helmet and clothing. A cloud of it rose around him as he spun, twisting his motorcycle in an attempt to slow down and avoid skidding against the ground. Once he was certain he could gain his balance, he planted one foot on the floor as he warily watched the blue motorcycle make a clean U-turn and rumble toward him once more, this time at a slower pace.

Sirius clumsily reached up to unlatch his helmet. His breath threatened to leave him again and he panted in an effort to stop his shaking.

_White._

He managed to successfully pry his helmet off, letting the protective gear slip from his fingers and onto the dirt road: he didn't care.

The figure on the bike stopped a few feet away and mimicked his actions by taking off his helmet too.

_A smashed vehicle._

The man who sat atop the vehicle seemed to be very surprised. "Sirius? Sirius Black?"

_A battered body._

In a weak voice, Sirius answered, "Don."

**To Be Continued…**

**

* * *

  
**

**AN:** Well, there you have it! Another chapter (well done?)! The next chapter should delve some more into the characters' backgrounds and I really didn't intend to drag this out for so long, it just happened. I hope you will leave me a review and let me know your thoughts. The next chapter is in the works and hopefully will be out soon.

Until then, thanks for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


	12. Tribulation

**GENUINE GEMINI by: P.P.V.V.**

_Disclaimer:_ The Standard Disclaim Applies. All original characters/ideas are mine to claim.

* * *

**AN:** Okay, so I know I promised that I would update this sooner, but honestly, I sorta hit a brick wall. This chapter was literally just floating for about a month or so on my hard drive and I had despaired I would not be able to touch upon it for a few months more. But suddenly, inspiration hit like a slap to the face. But who's complaining, right? Here it is, at last, a longer chapter than usual, and I personally liked this one. Finally, it's moving.

Onward.

* * *

_Previously:_

Sirius' grip on his handlebars tightened as his rival got close enough for him to see the polished motorcycle in front of him more clearly. It was well-maintained and tuned, its glossy blue color like a slap to the face. Without thinking, he jerked his bike to the right so hard that his wrist – the same one he had sprained just two months ago – screamed in protest. The sudden moment nearly threw him from his seat, but he clung on, grunting with the effort as the dust of the road scratched at his helmet and clothing. A cloud of it rose around him as he spun, twisting his motorcycle in an attempt to slow down and avoid skidding against the ground. Once he was certain he could gain his balance, he planted one foot on the floor as he warily watched the blue motorcycle make a clean U-turn and rumble toward him once more.

The man who sat atop the vehicle seemed to be very surprised. "Sirius? Sirius Black?"

* * *

**Chapter 12**

**- Tribulation -**

Don. Definitely not someone Sirius had wanted to come face to face with. One could almost call him the biggest asshole in the world, and he had no desire to meet with him again.

"You look like you've lost some weight," Don noted, tucking his helmet under his arm by his side. His dark hair lifted with the sudden wind and the flurries that came with it. A smirk crossed his lips and he reached up absently to twist the stub to his earring that hung from his left ear.

Sirius could only stare at him hollowly, his mind failing to come up with an answer.

"Have you finally come back to pick up where you last left off?" Don asked, when Sirius did not respond. "Or are you still chicken shit?"

A bead of sweat rolled down Sirius' neck at the words.

There had been a time where he had wanted to follow Don's footsteps, but that time had come to an end. There was a part of him that couldn't understand how anyone could be so snide and sarcastic when so many people looked up to him. If there was anyone more arrogant than Don, Sirius had yet to meet him.

The smirk left Don's face and turned apologetic at Sirius' pained expression. "Hey, you all right?"

Sirius finally found his voice, and it faltered. "I…I'm fine…"

Don nodded once, swinging down from his bike lithely, looking like a shadow in his dark leather outfit. He was every part a racer, and despite the fact that Sirius did not want to have anything to do with him, he couldn't help but stand in awe of him. He watched as the elder man went to retrieve the helmet he had dropped. With a cluck of disapproval, Don dusted it off and held it out to him. "Are you really?"

Sirius had to remind himself to breathe, and he wished Don would just shut up and leave him alone.

Scrutiny.

That was the look that he was receiving and he desperately tried to keep his anger in check.

Slowly, Sirius took his helmet back, breaking eye contact with him.

Don returned to his bike, leaning casually against it. "I'm glad you're here. I could use a little competition – lately, riding's been so boring. I actually came by to see if there were any fuckers that were worth my time."

Sirius almost dropped his helmet again. Was he suggesting…? "Oh, no!" He blurted, before he could stop himself. "Don…I don't…I'm not racing today." He twirled the protective gear around between his palms, nervously.

At that, Don looked confused. "But...why are you here if you ain't gonna race?" he asked.

Feeling like an idiot, Sirius mumbled, "I have a friend who invited me to watch. He didn't come though, so I didn't want to stick around." He hoped Don would fall for the lie because then he really _would_ sound like chicken shit.

In truth, Sirius wanted him to disappear. Don not only represented Sirius' crushed dreams - he represented the past. A past that Sirius was sick of remembering. He was so lost in his thoughts that he almost missed what Don said next.

"And here I thought I could recruit you this time around."

Again, Sirius took the bait. "You're…looking to recruit?"

Don inclined his head and kicked some dirt off his front tire.

"But what about the others?" Sirius demanded.

"Idiots," Don said. "Three people left the team. Got contracted into a cheap ass deal that expired after two terms. I hope they're regretting. They were amateurs anyway, so it was a good riddance." He glanced sideways at Sirius, who looked as though he had been put on pause. "So, what do you say?"

Sirius quickly shifted through the information that had been given to him, still unable to digest the news in a way that would make sense. Why would anyone in their right mind leave _Donovan Verovich's_ team? The guy was a legend – every year, riders jostled for the chance to apply, but there was never room. And now, Donovan himself was offering Sirius a spot. He had to clear his throat, wondering if his luck could get any worse. "No."

The answer seemed to catch Donovan off-guard. His eyebrows shot up in surprise and he swept his hand to the side, motioning to the vehicles. Other riders would kill to have the opportunity, he knew. "I'm being serious," he said. "I've seen what you can do and - "

"-No, Don," Sirius interrupted, quickly, not wanting to prolong the torture of Don's offer. "No. I can't. I won't. I'm sorry."

There was a pause as Don thought over his adamant refusal, his gaze once again leaking scrutiny. Finally, he asked, "Sirius, you can't still be on about what happened, are you?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Shit, man, that was four years ago!"

Sirius shoved his helmet on so roughly that he cricked his neck in the process, but he didn't care. He had to get out of there, and fast, or else he'd go crazy. "I don't want anything to do with you," he said, tightly, beginning to shift the gears on his bike.

"James is dead, Sirius." Don's words were like a bullet to the chest, and Sirius' breath caught.

_White._

"Get over it."

_A smashed vehicle._

The world was starting tilt and Sirius cursed out loud. He had tried to avoid this. He had done everything his power to hold on, but he could no longer help himself. He choked, stumbling as the ground rushed up to meet him. He was vaguely aware of hands clutching his forearms, preventing him from slamming face-first into the dirt, but he was seeing something else.

_A battered body._

"Sirius! Sirius?!"

The voice by his ear inundated his anger. Here he was, already hanging by a thread and Donovan just had to make it that much harder. Sirius let out a cry of rage, and out of sheer willpower, he pushed back the blackness that threatened to pull him under and ripped himself free of Don's grip. He forced himself to breathe, but it felt like shoving acid into his lungs instead of air. He almost collapsed because of the effort, and he grit his teeth together against the pain. "Don't touch me!" he gasped. Disoriented, he managed to get himself back onto the seat of his motorcycle and get the key into the ignition.

"Sirius, wait!"

Doubled over, Sirius put one arm under his ribs and growled, "Stay away from me," in warning.

Don heard the threat and raised his hands. "All right. I got it. But I'll find you again. I won't give up."

Not having enough strength to retort to that, and desperate to get away, Sirius merely kicked his vehicle to life and sped away.

He didn't care that he was in pain, only that he put as much distance between them as possible. By the time he reached his destination, he was half-hanging off his bike, unable to support himself in the seat any longer.

The next thing he knew, he was facing the sky from his twisted position on the ground. When he had hit it, he didn't know – what he was aware of was that he could smell blood, yet for some strange reason, he didn't care.

The sun had finally set, and that was all that mattered.

* * *

**And so, the games continue,**

**And we cheat to win

* * *

**

He groaned.

It was as though every fiber of his being was throbbing. The pain stabbed at him from every angle, even before he was completely conscious. In fact, it was so stunning that it brought him awake. He sucked in a gasp through his nostrils, his throat already constricting with the pain he felt.

Desperate to get it to stop, he pulled another rattling breath in, but this time, it was easier, as though whatever boulder had decided to suddenly sit on his chest had been lifted. He kept pulling in breaths, and eventually the pain subsided into a dull ache.

It always did.

And as always, he slowly became aware of his surroundings.

His room.

His bed.

The door to his apartment was open, and a silhouette was framing it: lean, mean, and ready for action.

Also a familiar sight.

"John…" his voice cracked with what sounded like fatigue and he winced at the weakness behind it, "…how long….?"

"Gods, Sirius!" John stalked over then, his voice overly loud and panicked. He flipped something closed – a cell phone, Sirius realized – and fell to his knees by the bed. "Do you know how close I was to calling the police?"

Sirius gulped in a couple more breaths of air before lifting himself up by the elbow. "…How long, John?"

"Almost fifteen minutes! Lord Almighty, Black! I thought you were dead!!!" John cursed again, and shoved his cell phone in his pocket.

Sirius did an internal check before he allowed himself to sit up fully.

Fifteen minutes. He'd had worse.

Gingerly, he reached up and touched the back of his head which felt bulkier than normal. It was bandaged, which meant that he'd probably injured himself once more.

Wonderful.

John was glaring at him, but concern was written all over the elder man's face. "You okay?" He finally demanded.

"…Yeah…" Sirius mumbled, flexing his hands. "My bike?"

John's glare darkened. "The damn thing is fine!"

At that, Sirius breathed a sigh of relief. He depended a lot on his motorcycle and if it got trashed again, he'd have to buy another one. After going through 3 in the same year, he doubted the insurance companies would allow him to. He idly wondered if there were any repairs that needed to be done to it: a bike that wasn't running smoothly wasn't a bike, after all…

"Sirius, did you hear what I just said?" John demanded, waving a hand in front of the younger boy's face.

Blinking, Sirius slowly turned his head to his superintendant. "What?"

"You might need stitches for that."

_That?_

Oh. His injuries.

How the hell had he gotten them if he was wearing a helmet? Wait…_he had_ been wearing a helmet, right? He shook his head to clear it, but as always, it did no good. He gave his usual answer, "I'll be fine, thanks."

John's glower faltered then, and melted into a sad look. "You don't remember anything again, do you?"

At that, Sirius cursed. "Not a damn thing," he admitted. He fought back the blackness that clouded his memories. "I do…remember…meeting someone I really dislike," he said, after thinking hard. He left the name unsaid, as though saying it would cause Don to appear in front of him again. "After that, I don't remember. I left to go home. I…" he trailed off, helplessly.

His superintendant reached out and put a heavy hand to his shoulder. "Kid, honestly, I don't know why you do this to yourself."

In an almost pleading way, Sirius lifted his eyes. "John…you _promised_. You promised….you promised...!" his forehead connected with John's collarbone then, and it was all Sirius could do to fight back tears.

Sirius Black never cried.

John grimly placed the hand on the back of Sirius' head where he had managed to stem the flow to the younger man's injuries. "Yeah, kid. I promised I wouldn't tell a fucking soul that you're crazy."

Sirius managed to smile. John was the only one who could get away with that insult and be able to walk away uninjured. It was more than that, though. John had made a promise with him that he would not call authorities if his tenant collapsed, unconscious.

_Just let me wake up on my own. It happens all the time._

Unfortunately, it was happening much more frequently.

John was always there to drag Sirius back to his room and always there to watch over him. It had been that way for the past two years now. But Sirius could tell that the elder man was becoming afraid.

As if reading his mind, the burly man noted, "That's the third time this week, you know."

Sirius knew. It was beginning to scare him too.

"John…"

"If these spells continue, I'm gonna have to really suggest you get some help," John told him, gently, pulling away. "I'm worried about you, Sirius. Gods wonder why, but I am."

It was then that Sirius felt the pain. It was different from earlier, had a sharper quality to it. The injury to the back of his head seemed to be burning with accusation. He brought up a hand as though to quell the sudden fires it was throwing his way. He couldn't answer to that.

He had already told John: hospitals were out of the question.

He watched as the other man got to his feet, and looked around. The place was as clean as it had been when Lily had finished with it a few days ago, and it must have surprised the elder man because he grunted before saying, "I'll go get you some water," and leaving.

Once he was gone, Sirius was shrouded in darkness, and he was glad for it.

**0-0-0-0-0**

"What happened to your head?"

"Oh thanks, love. You make me feel smart," Sirius quipped, plopping down next to Lily. In his hands, he held a juice box and he offered it to her. She was looking up from her art pad at him with a frown.

Today, she had pulled her hair back into a ponytail so that the long red strands were tied captive against the bitter winds. Her green eyes were clouded with concern and he jiggled the juice box, pressing her to forget about his injuries and take it. Finally, she dropped her crayon (yes, her crayon) and accepted it.

Lemon Tea.

He produced another juice box of the same bright yellow nature and proceeded to poke a hole through the top of it with his straw. "Do you want help with yours?" he teased, when she made no move to open it.

She sighed and he reached over to poke her straw into the hole, silently showing her that she should not worry over needless things and that he did not want to answer her question.

She didn't press the issue, turning back to her sketch and Sirius lay his head down on his bag, flipping through his Latin dictionary. Finally, she put down her crayon again and asked, "How did you find your test?"

"Easy. I memorized all the notes you gave me while I was away," Sirius announced, proudly. He had gotten Madam Pomfrey to stitch him up and she had declared him unfit to go to classes or work for three days straight. There had not been much else to do while he was at home except to study.

He had made a promise to Dumbledore, after all.

Lily's smile made all that effort worthwhile. "That's good then." She hesitatingly reached out to capture one of his long curls and he grinned up at her, reminding her of a happy puppy when it received praise from its master. Her fingers absently trailed to the white bandages that wound around his forehead, and his hands caught hers, stealing them away from it.

"You all right?" She asked, quietly.

He nodded, once, and she squeezed his fingers to let him know that she would not pry any further.

Satisfied, Sirius turned his attention back to the book in his hand other hand, and together, they reviewed their last Latin class until the Bell rang, signaling the end of their lunch period.

Glances still kept coming their way, despite the fact that the couple had become public. More and more people came to see for themselves – had Lily really come out of her shell? Did Sirius really choose Evans as his girl? – and went away, shocked. Remus and Peter had not bothered them again about their relationship, and the former even tried his best to include Lily in whatever conversations they were having. While Lily did not participate, she appreciated his gesture of friendship.

It became apparent to everyone, however, that the two were inseparable. Wherever Sirius went, Lily was sure to follow. Of course, it couldn't be helped when their classes differed, but four of six were usually spent with each other.

So it wasn't a surprise when Sirius had to part ways with her for their last period of the day. They promised to meet again afterwards, but it turned out that they did not have to wait that long: just as sixth period started, an announcement rang out over the hallways. It came in the form of the dreamy voice of Longbottom. "Would Seventh Years Miss Lily Evans and Mr. Sirius Black please make their way to the Headmasters office, immediately? Thank you." It repeated twice more, as did all pages, just in case it had gone unheard or misunderstood. By that time, all heads were turned in their direction, no doubt wondering what it was that the new couple had done to deserve the Headmaster's attention. Even Lily and Sirius had to exchange glances.

As they made their way together down the hallway, hand in hand, each had their separate thoughts. In Sirius' case, he was fairly certain he hadn't messed up any of Dumbledore's given rules, so he was worried that they had found out about the way he had crumpled by his apartment complex the other day. If so, it would lead to a world of questions and check ups that he was not looking forward to, and he especially didn't want Lily being a party to it.

On Lily's end, she was afraid that they had figured out that she was being sexually abused almost every night. If that was the case, she didn't want Sirius finding out like this: it was too embarrassing. Other than that fear, she could think of nothing she had done wrong – nothing that warranted her presence in the Headmaster's office, anyway.

Again, the two shared looks before Sirius went ahead and knocked on the door. In that brief exchange, there was a promise: no matter what the outcome, what secrets were revealed, they would get through it. As if to reassure her of it, Sirius pulled Lily closer, and she was reminded of that day on the roof, when he had made her promise him.

_Don't ever leave me…_

And she wouldn't.

The door opened almost immediately, and Sirius took a step back in surprise. "Professor Binns?"

He didn't return the greeting. Instead, he motioned them both inside.

Sirius stepped in first and Lily ducked in next, hunching her shoulders uncomfortably when Professor Binns closed the door firmly behind them. At her nervous glance backward, Sirius bent close, almost protectively.

The Headmaster was standing by his impressive telescope again, peering into the eyepiece as though there was something fascinating to look at.

"What's going on?" demanded the student, looking around. "Why did we get called down?"

Professor Binns burst out, "Don't play dumb, Black!"

"Cuthbert," Dumbledore said, lightly, in disapproval.

Professor Binns backed down a bit, scowling.

Dumbledore finally straightened from his crouch, and turned to face them. "Welcome, Mr. Black – Miss Evans. I'm sorry to have interrupted your day. Won't you have a seat?"

Uh oh.

He was being very formal. Already Sirius disliked this encounter.

Obediently, the students plopped themselves into the armchairs that faced the Headmaster's desk.

"I must say I'm very impressed with your performance, lately, Mr. Black," Dumbledore said, smiling so that his half-moon glasses were pushed up slightly by his wrinkles, "you seem to be doing very well."

Sirius did not respond, still not able to shake the feeling of discomfort away. "Your attendance to classes has improved, which is a plus in itself," Dumbledore continued to say. He came around to the front of his desk, and when he did, Lily visibly flinched. Noticing it, Sirius put his arm out in front of her, as if to shield her. Dumbledore stopped in his tracks and did not move.

"Cut to the chase, Headmaster," Sirius all but snapped, the feeling in his gut intensifying.

What had gotten Lily so terrified?

Unruffled, Dumbledore turned to his desk to pick up some papers. "There was a history test today, isn't that right?"

Both students nodded, stiffly.

"It appears, Mr. Black, that Professor Binns has reason to believe that you…plagiarized."

Sirius almost fell backward. His arm dropped to his side again in his surprise. "What?"

"Off of Miss Evans!" Professor Binns put in, knowingly. "Your answers were all the same."

Sirius looked from one teacher to the next. "Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me!"

"Do I look like I'm joking, Black?!" Roared the History teacher. "I know a copied test when I see one!" And with that, he plucked the papers out of the Headmaster's hands and flourished them under Sirius' nose.

Lily's paper had been marked to perfection. His own had been circled in red. Sure enough, their answers looked almost identical. "Thought you could get away with it, did you?" the Professor sneered.

Heatedly, Sirius looked up at him. "I didn't copy off of anyone."

It was the first time Professor Binns seemed to acquire any color to his face. It flushed a bright red. "The evidence is right here, and you still deny it?"

Sirius grit his teeth. "I admit that Lily and I used the same notes to study for the test, but I'm telling you: I didn't copy off of her."

Professor Binns actually snorted. "I've heard that excuse before."

"Not from me, you haven't."

"Gentlemen, enough!" The Headmaster commanded, and again, Lily flinched in her seat as she stared at the argument before her with wide green eyes.

"Headmaster, you can't possibly believe him!" Professor Binns said. "He's a delinquent student who's probably never done anything to amount to some good in his life. And there's no way someone like him could get a perfect score on his history test by himself. He doesn't even have a textbook to call his own!"

It was Sirius' turn to flinch. He hated that this man was insulting him so blatantly in front of him! He felt his fists clench.

Professor Binns turned accusing eyes to him. "Tell the truth, Black. You copied off your neighbor in class today!"

"You're a fucking prick," Sirius snarled, jumping out of his seat and grabbing his book bag.

Dumbledore said, "Sirius!" at the inappropriate use of language, but Sirius didn't care.

"I have a Philosophy class to go to," Sirius said, steely, turning his back to them and moving toward the door. "I don't have time for this."

"Sirius, sit down!" The Headmaster ordered, and the authority behind it made Sirius freeze. "Professor Binns, why don't we allow Mr. Black to tell his side of the story?"

"I told you already, I didn't do it," Sirius muttered, still not turning to face them. "I borrowed Lily's notes and I studied from them. And then, I wrote the test like every other kid in our class."

There was a long moment in which Dumbledore took the papers back and scanned through them. "There _are_ answers here that are word for word," he said slowly, after a while. Professor Binns looked smugly at Sirius, who turned to protest, but before either of them could say anything, Dumbledore said, "I'm afraid there's no way to tell whether or not you copied from Miss Evans. However…it could be that Miss Evans copied from you."

"And why would she do that?" Professor Binns demanded. Lily was a prize student of his. There was no way she would ever do something like that. In that matter, Sirius had to agree with him.

Lily's face turned as red as her hair at the accusation, but she did not say a word. Her green eyes glittered fiercely, which told Sirius how upset she must be feeling. Her lower lip trembled, as though she wanted to cry out and defend herself.

"Don't do this," Sirius heard himself say. Both teachers looked at him, and he shook his head. "Don't discredit Lily for all the hard work she's put into her test. For all the hard work she's put into making those notes. It's not fair to her."

Dumbledore glanced over to the girl and nodded. "I'm trying to make a point here, you two. What I'm trying to say is that you can't blame any one person for this. If there are two identical tests, it could be that one of you is lying and has cheated. Or that both of you are completely innocent, as you claim you are. But in either case, since we can't be sure, we'll have to punish both of you unless there is a way to prove you're not guilty."

"If you're going to punish anyone, punish me," Sirius told him, boldly. "I didn't do it, but don't drag Lily into this. She's not at fault."

Again, Dumbledore turned his gaze to her briefly and Sirius hurriedly added, "I don't care if I have to do detention. Or…or if I'm suspended. Whatever it is, I'll do the time."

"So you're saying you _are_ guilty!" Crowed the History Professor triumphantly.

Sirius wisely held his tongue, knowing that whatever he said now wouldn't change the Professor's opinion anyway. If Lily got into trouble because of him, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself.

Dumbledore smiled. "Don't be too hasty, Mr. Black. I have something different in mind because I believe you're telling the truth. Just so we can clear this problem though, we'll have both of you write different tests on the same material. That way we can judge accordingly. Does that sound fair?"

Sirius nodded and he saw Lily bob her head in acquiesce too.

"Jolly good!" Dumbledore said. "Professor Binns and I will devise a new test and the both of you will write it tomorrow during first period. Afterwards, we shall make our decision. For now, you are both dismissed."

Lily got to her feet slowly and Sirius held the door open for her to pass, as always eager to get out of the cursed room. It never brought him anything but trouble. They had just turned to walk down the hallway again when Professor Binns came up behind them.

"Don't think I've let you off the hook, Mr. Black," the man said, angrily. "You might have pulled the sheet on the Headmaster, but I know your type. You're nothing but street trash who doesn't care for anything. You're lazy and stupid and you won't get far in life."

Sirius' could feel his anger get the best of him but he swallowed it back, forcing a smile. "Thanks Professor. I'll keep that in mind." He turned to flash a smile at the man before stalking off, Lily having to trot to keep up with his long strides.

Halfway to class, Sirius turned to face her. "Do you think there is any use going to class when there's only fifteen minutes to the period remaining?"

Lily didn't say anything, and Sirius let out a breathy laugh before moving forward again. After a while, he announced, "I think I'm just gonna head to work early. Maybe I'll even get paid for it."

"…Sirius…"

"It's not like we get anything out of coming to school do we?" Sirius continued, turning around again so that Lily could see the smile he had on. It didn't reach his eyes. "If we could get money for the amount of hours we take sitting in these classrooms and studying, we would all be pretty damn rich."

Lily's hand came out to grasp his. "Sirius, don't listen to what he said."

His smile became less pronounced, but he kept it there firmly. "I'm not worried about it."

"You're not trash," Lily said knowingly, searching his eyes. "And you're not lazy and stupid: you passed that test with a perfect score!" When the smile finally fell, Lily tugged at his hand as if in an attempt to get him to listen to her – she knew he was drifting away from her, an instant reaction to efforts in the past that had been crushed, ruthlessly. "I know you were telling the truth," she said, quietly. "It's…it's my fault…"

Surprised, Sirius asked, "How could it possibly be _your_ fault?"

"If I wasn't…if I wasn't too timid…I couldn't even protect you from his harsh words…"

He stepped forward then, bridging the gap between them entirely. "Hey, don't say that," he admonished. "I don't blame you for keeping quiet. It wasn't your battle anyway."

She smiled sadly up at him. "I'm sorry I'm such a coward."

"You're doing just fine," Sirius assured her. "You've already come so far. So much further than I expected you to. You don't have to worry, I really don't hold it against you."

"You're not trash," Lily whispered again. "You're the most courageous person I have ever met. The way you…the way you are always so sure of yourself…I want that too…"

Sirius chuckled in response. "Sweetheart, you honestly have to get to know me a little more. I'm not exactly the world's model student. Professor Binns is right: I'm not gonna get far in life. "

Lily shook her head. "No. You act like you're stupid, but you're not! You only put up a front because you want people to think you're cool. I don't know why you act that way, because I know you're smart. Your tests results prove it, and I'm very proud of you for them."

"Then, you, my dear, are the only one it seems." This time, when he smiled, it was real and it filled Lily with relief. "That's enough for me." He began to lead them to the parking lot.

Since classes were still in session, there were no students outside. Snow littered the floor in clumps where it had begun to gather because the temperature had dropped. It crunched underneath their feet as they walked. The wind made Lily's hair flutter, and for a brief moment, she wished she had her green coat again so that she could protect her cheeks from its bite.

Sirius' motorcycle stood out from the rest of the cars on the lot. For one, it was the only bike in sight. For another, it somehow seemed bigger and sturdier. Or maybe it was just because of the way Lily always felt so safe when she was riding it. When he held out the helmet to her (a new one, she noticed), she shook her head. "I have some things I have to finish," she told him. "Professor Trelawny wants something to show for the next issue of the Bulletin."

He nodded, clearly disappointed. "I'll see you tomorrow, then, I guess," he said.

"Yeah."

He leaned against his bike and fiddled with the helmet's straps, then looked up again, as though he had forgotten something. "Oh, I meant to give this to you earlier…" he fished around in his pants' pockets before producing a flat object, rectangular in shape and black in color.

A cell phone.

At her questioning look, he explained, "For…just in case."

"But…"

"Go on, take it," he urged her. "I've covered everything already, so you don't have to worry about expenses. Just think of it as a way to locate me, because you know, I get lost so easily." He winked, and she clearly knew he was talking about the last time he had disappeared on her (and everyone else) without a word.

That being all the prodding she needed, Lily took it from his outstretched hand. It was light, yet felt strangely heavy. Foreign. Her thoughts flew in all directions when he suddenly leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I'll call you tonight," he told her, and she tried in vain to collect herself as he got on his bike and proceeded to speed away.

She watched his back until he was out of sight.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Don watched the exchange between the pair, interestedly. He was standing by the outdoor patio of the school's mess hall, tapping a cigarette box against the side of the stone railing, absently.

So, Sirius was here after all. His sources had done him well. He had been about to lose hope when he'd heard the sound of the motorcycle. It spiked an adrenaline rush in him, a kind high that he loved so much.

Smoothly, he pocketed the box once more, his sudden craving for a smoke gone. He was interested in something else now.

He glanced up as several female students passed by him, and without thinking, he reached out to snag one of their coats. They seemed surprised to see him and probably recognized that he was not from the Academy. Well, he definitely wasn't young enough to be, he thought, ruefully. "Sorry. Could you tell me, who that girl is?"

The girl nervously looked over at the lone student in the parking lot, making her way slowly back to the school, her red hair stark visible even from the distance they stood at. "That? That's Lily Evans."

Don nodded his thanks and without another word, he pushed away from the railing.

If what he had seen earlier was any indication, she was his ticket to the Great Sirius Black.

He decided he was going to have a little talk with Miss Evans.

After that, he was fairly certain Sirius would listen to what he had to say.

Fairly certain that Sirius would do anything he asked.

**To Be Continued…

* * *

**

**AN:** For those of you who are really ticked at the slow pace of this story, well, that's just the way it is. I'd still like to hear your thoughts though. While this chapter did not have much action, I believe it's an important block to fill and may just be the turning point of the story.

I can't promise when my next update is going to be, but I'm already working on the next installment while I have my muse present. Reading your reviews really helped me a lot and kept me alive through this brutal school term. Keep them coming, please, and help my suffering inspiration!

Thanks for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


	13. Playing With Fire

**GENUINE GEMINI by: P.P.V.V.**

_Disclaimer:_ The Standard Disclaim Applies. All original characters/ideas are mine to claim.

* * *

**AN:** Ha, ha! I feel so incredibly happy at the thought that I am finished with another chapter (albeit a month later), and that I am able to post for everyone. I really do apologize for the late updates, people, but I'm trying here. If I had a wish, it would be to be able to write all day. Unfortunately, life gets in the way. However, here it is at last, for all of you who were waiting.

Enjoy!

* * *

_Previously: _

_"Sorry. Could you tell me, who that girl is?"_

_The student nervously looked over at the lone girl in the parking lot, making her way slowly back to the school, her red hair stark visible even from the distance they stood at. "That? That's Lily Evans."_

_Don nodded his thanks and without another word, he pushed away from the railing._

_If what he had seen earlier was any indication, she was his ticket to the Great Sirius Black._

_He decided he was going to have a little talk with Miss Evans._

_After that, he was fairly certain Sirius would listen to what he had to say._

_Fairly certain that Sirius would do anything he asked.

* * *

_

**Chapter 13**

**- Playing with Fire -**

Everyone was filing out of class, glad that the day was finally over. Lily walked through the sea of bodies, moving toward the art studio, her head down and her shoulders hunched, like she always did. Without Sirius by her side, she felt vulnerable.

Without Sirius, she felt like she was missing her other half.

Her right hand, stuck in her pocket, was still curled around the little black cell phone Sirius had given her. She tightened her grip on it and ignored the other students. Would it be selfish of her to call him right now?

_He's going to work, don't bother him, _she told herself. He had only been gone for ten minutes, but for some reason, Lily was anxious to see him again. Maybe it was the way she kept playing the scene in the Headmaster's office over and over again.

While he didn't seem to be hurt by the way people misjudged him, Lily could tell that he kept his frustrations all inside. That must have been why he became so delinquent in the first place.

So caught up in all her musings, Lily bumped into someone standing in front of her. Jolted, she instinctively shied to the side, dipping her head in a silent apology. When she looked up however, her breath caught in her throat at the tall man standing before her. Even though she had never seen him before in her life, there was something so distinctly familiar about him that she could not help but stare.

"Watch your step, miss," the man drawled, in a lazy manner. He reached out as if to steady her, but she flinched away.

She did not like his hands.

They were big and rough, with veins crisscrossing on his skin.

Seeing her disgust, the man grunted, withdrawing his hands and putting them in his pockets. He was wearing a dark blue leather coat, which seemed to stick to his body like a second skin. Underneath, he wore a black shirt. His jeans, she noted, were also just as tight-fitting, and she turned her gaze to the floor, embarrassed.

She dipped her head again, in apology, and gingerly stepped around him, but he addressed her. "You're Lily Evans, right?"

She froze.

"My name's Don."

Don.

That name didn't ring a bell, but the way he said it made it seem like she was supposed to know it.

Slowly, she turned around. Every nerve in her body screamed at her to run, but despite the gut feeling, curiosity got the better of her. There was just something about him…

When she never answered, Don slinked toward her, his dark eyes seeming to hold her soul.

She hated the feeling. As he moved closer, hysteria built up in her chest.

Those hated hands swept his dark, wavy hair away from his too-pale face. He was older than her by many years – probably in his late twenties. As she fought back panic, she tried her best to pinpoint what exactly it was that she found so familiar yet could not quite put her finger on.

When she did not respond, Don said, "I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment?"

Lily stepped back as he stopped in front of her once more. Her right hand gripped the cell phone in her pocket so tight that she could feel the smooth plastic creak.

Don frowned when she still refused to respond. "I couldn't help but notice that you know Sirius Black."

At the mention of his name, Lily's eyes widened.

Seeing the recognition, Don continued. "I'm…a friend of his…I've been looking for him for almost four years. I was just wondering if he goes to this school?"

And that's when Lily began to shake. She didn't know why she was so terrified of this man in front of her, but for some reason, she trembled from head to foot. It got worse when he asked, "Miss?"

Tears sprung to her eyes, and she brought a hand up to her face to wipe them away. She thought she would collapse when someone demanded, "Hey, what did you do to her?"

Both of them looked over to see none other than Bellatrix Lestrange, in all her perfect glory, hurrying over. She took one look at Lily's frightened face and turned her wrath upon Don, who, perplexed by the whole situation, held up those disgusting hands and said, "I didn't do anything!"

"Evans?" Bellatrix demanded. "Did he hurt you?"

Lily shook her head, relief flooding her at her presence.

Still unconvinced, Bellatrix turned to Don once more. "Look, I don't know who you are, but you'd better get out of here before I kick your ass."

At that, Don quirked an eyebrow. "Really, princess? Aren't you afraid you'll break a heel?"

"Don't push me," snarled the woman. And there was so much promise behind that warning that both Lily and Don leaned away from her.

For a moment, it looked like Don was going to react negatively to her comment but instead, he drawled, "You know, for someone as beautiful as you, it doesn't suit you to act all high and mighty."

At that, Bellatrix coughed. "Are you fucking hitting on me? Don't make me laugh."

Don merely grinned and shrugged.

"I'd have to be blind _and_ stupid to go out with you," Bellatrix told him, haughtily. "If you don't leave, I'll call the police. This is private property."

"Right, princess," Don said, gesturing in the same way as he had earlier by putting his hands up in surrender. "No need to get your panties in a bunch. I'm going."

Bellatrix narrowed her eyes as the older man turned and walked down the hallway, not once looking back.

Seeming to remember herself, Bellatrix glanced at Lily, who was still fighting back tears. In disgust, Bellatrix clicked her teeth. "You are such an eyesore. What did he do to you?"

Lily drew in a breath, to calm herself down. "N-nothing…" she whispered.

"_Huh?!"_

"I just…" Lily wiped away the last of her tears. "I just don't like him…"

"And an idiot," Bellatrix added, under her breath. "Now I _really_ don't know what Sirius sees in you." She looked in the direction that Don had just travelled. "Who was that?"

Still confused, Lily shook her head and shrugged.

"Honestly, where is security when you need them around here?" Bellatrix muttered. She turned back to Lily and snapped, "Well? What did he want?"

Lily's hand tightened around the phone in her pocket again at the other woman's tone. "I…I…he…" the words tangled themselves on her tongue, and Bellatrix rolled her eyes. Frustration at the way she could never express herself properly built in Lily and Bellatrix huffed, flipping her straight black hair over her shoulder.

"Forget I asked," she said, snidely. "Apparently, you haven't ceased being a wimp."

Lily looked down at her hands, remembering Sirius' earlier words and taking courage in them. Yes, she had changed a lot since she'd met him; gained so much more confidence than she had ever had in her life. "I'm…afraid…" she admitted, softly.

When Bellatrix didn't say anything, Lily added, "I'm afraid people won't listen to me…"

"You're just as fucked up as he is!" Bellatrix said, nodding in the direction that Don had gone in. "If you don't stand up for yourself, people like me will always be able to push you around."

This time, Lily met her gaze, steadily, and the look was so haunting that Bellatrix felt goosebumps form on her arms. "I've tried. And it's no use." And while the redhead hadn't quite told her details, Bellatrix could tell that Lily wasn't just talking about speaking up. There was something sadder, more distressing behind those words.

Not one to comfort, Bellatrix said, "Then try harder." She wanted nothing more than to slap the girl in front of her. "You're the one who wanted to live in Sirius' world, and to do that, you have to have a backbone."

"Why are you encouraging me?" Lily asked.

Bellatrix's face remained neutral, but there was a simmering anger in her response. "Because Sirius chose you – not me – and I want him to see what a mistake it was." She narrowed her brown eyes and shook her head. "I can't believe I'm jealous over someone like you!" She huffed again, and began to walk away.

At that, Lily smiled shyly. Sure, Bellatrix didn't like her, but Lily admired the way she was open and honest, ready to speak up and defend. It was a quality she lacked, and appreciated. "His name was Don. He said…he said he knew Sirius…"

Bellatrix stopped, the clack of her stilettos against the hardwood floors ceasing. "Sirius never mentioned him." She turned to look over her shoulder, a sad smile on her face. "But then again, he doesn't mention much. Careful, Evans. With someone like Sirius, you're playing with fire. If you get too close, you'll get burned – just like I did."

"But you still love him," Lily pointed out.

"Yeah. Maybe I'm the one who's an idiot." She proceeded to leave again, and Lily stared after her in wonder, unable to get her voice to come out again to even thank her.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Sirius raised his arms above his head and yawned loudly while he stretched. The night shift was tiring because there were so many deliveries to prepare for the couriers in the morning. It was also demanding work, taxing to the body, having to lift heavy materials and what not. Already, his back was hurting and he was looking forward to the end of his shift.

A sharp ringing interrupted his small break, and with a resigned sigh, he moved over to the window. Another shipment to lug in and register, most like.

He was surprised when he saw a familiar, petite form standing outside. She was beaming up at him and his mind raced to put a name to the face, but he couldn't for the life of him. He remembered taking this girl to bed with him, though… She evidently remembered his name, because she fondly reached over the windowsill and took his hand. "Sirius! It's good to see you again!"

Sirius cursed inwardly. He hadn't expected to see her again after he had switched jobs. Instead, he gave her a bleak smile and casually removed his hand from beneath hers. "Hey. What's up?"

"Here to sign for a pick up and delivery. DISCOTA wants their product by tomorrow morning, 10 am at the latest. Can you register it?"

Sirius glanced down at his charts and nodded. "I'll have a courier bring it over as soon as he gets back from his 8 o'clock. You know the drill, I need the address and names." He dutifully handed over a clipboard with all the information that was to be filled out.

Still grinning, the girl took it from him and proceeded to fill in the blanks. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

Trying to hide his discomfort, Sirius gave her a noncommittal grunt in response. Not seeming to notice, the girl chattered, "I thought I would never see you again after you left G.L.I." she paused in her writing and tapped the end of her pen on the clipboard. "You never called me back."

He began to busy himself stacking the order papers into a neat pile, just so that he would not have to meet her gaze. "Sorry. I was busy. I had to switch companies."

"I can see that," the girl noted, wryly. When he never answered, she completed the form and pushed it under the glass of the window. Sirius took it from her and read the top of the sheet – Jennifer Robinson.

Right.

"So…when are you off?" Jennifer asked, as he moved over to the printer to get her the paperwork she needed to take back with her.

"You just caught me on my break," he responded. "I'll be off in about two hours."

She leaned against the counter, her blond ringlets framing her heart-shaped face. "The night will still be young. Want to get a drink?"

Yes, it always started with the drink. After that, the clothes came off.

Sirius could feel all his blood rush south at the thought: he knew Jennifer wouldn't mind.

He drew in a breath. He hadn't had sex for so long, maybe he was losing his touch. "I'll pass on the drink," he said, and at her disappointed look, he added, "I'm driving tonight. I can't get wasted."

"Oh."

The printer blinked twice, an indication that the pages were complete. After stamping them, Sirius brought them over to the window, where he passed them over. As she took them from him, her hand caught his again. "If you want, we don't have to drink."

It took him a moment to realize what she was suggesting. So, she _was _willing to go there…a smirk crept across his face. "Why, Robinson, aren't we being forward?"

A blush rose to her cheeks: the reaction most girls got when he spoke to them. She pressed her forehead against the glass as she stared at him. "It's up to you," she whispered. "You look tense. Maybe I can help?"

A body beneath him.

Flesh between his hands.

His name on her lips.

The heat of the moment…

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt the phone in his pocket buzz and start chiming loudly. Even Jennifer seemed surprised by it, because she pushed away from the window, watching him intently as he fumbled to answer.

He flipped the phone open to reveal one name that seemed to plunge him in ice-cold water.

Lily.

He put his hand out against the glass of the window, bracing himself as he stared at it.

All thoughts flew out of his head and were replaced by the image of intense green eyes. This time, the smile that came to his lips was not brought on by anything more than mere happiness.

"Who is it?" Jennifer demanded, seeing the smile.

He didn't miss a beat. "My girlfriend," he answered. Without further ado, he pressed the _receive _button and put the phone up to his ear. "Hello?"

"...Sirius?" The sound of Lily's voice was like a cooling balm over an infected wound. He could hear a sense of anxiety mixed with her usual air of reservation in it.

He relaxed, "Hi, sweetheart."

"Are you busy?"

"No." He glanced at the window, seeing Jennifer's stricken look, no doubt feeling embarrassed for her strong suggestions earlier. "I've got a customer, though, who's just about to leave. Right, Robinson?"

Jennifer's face was a mix of emotions. Frustration. Regret. Anger. Sadness. And then, understanding. She gave a resigned nod. "Yeah. Bye, Sirius. It was good seeing you again."

Sirius gave her an apologetic look and a small wave. He watched as the blond woman let herself out the big heavy doors and heard her footsteps descend down the metal staircase just outside them.

This time, he was sure he would never see her again.

"Sirius?"

"I'm here," he assured Lily. He leaned against his desk, shoving a few loose papers out of the way. "I have a few minutes left of my break, so you're right on time." And really, she was. If she hadn't called, he would have taken Jennifer up on her offer, and he couldn't help but feel guilty.

There was a silence for a moment, and then Lily said, "Good." He could picture her smiling.

"I'm glad to see you're using the phone," he said. "Is everything all right?"  
Lily seemed to pause for a moment, and then she said, "Mm…everything's all right…"

"You sound tired."

"Just a little," she admitted. "I…I wanted to hear your voice."

He laughed. "Well, I'm touched! Am I that irresistible?"

Lily giggled, softly. "Are you okay?"

"Of course I am," Sirius said, picking up one of his charts and looking it over. He'd have to add the information that Jennifer had given him onto it. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Again, another pause before Lily sighed and said, "I don't know…"

Furrowing his eyebrows, Sirius set the chart down on his lap. "Is something wrong?"

"Um…" there was a slight crackle of static before Lily continued. "…no…nothing…"

Sirius flicked at the page before him, not really seeing it. "Lily?"

"Sirius, what's the worst thing that can happen to a person?"

The question took him off-guard. "I-I guess…losing someone important to you…" he tilted his head to the side. "What do you think it is?"

"Being afraid."

This time, it was Sirius' turn to fall quiet. The sudden turn of the conversation becoming somber unnerved him. They were so close to touching each others' secrets, and it made him uncomfortable. At the same time, he felt relieved: they were taking another step forward. "Well, everyone's afraid of something," he finally said. "There's nothing to be ashamed of."

"Even you?"

Sirius chuckled, "Yes, even me."

"Really? When?"

"Lils, why do you sound so surprised? I'm not invincible you know."

"You're avoiding the question, Sirius."

"Fine." Sirius absently hung the chart back on the wall. "I'll trade one if you do." He didn't expect her to take him up on the exchange. In fact, he wanted her to refuse, just so that he wouldn't have to enter that dangerous territory. He counted on her reluctance, hoping she would withdraw. Bitterly, he realized what a true coward he was when she replied, "Okay."

"Lily…"

"I always get scared when the door closes."

How cryptic.

To lighten the mood, Sirius said, "Still afraid of the dark?" lightly.

Lily mumbled, "I don't like being confined…" she trailed off and then asked, "Well? What about you?"

"Me? Well…" his mind raced. How could he put his fear to words so that she would understand? "I get scared when I see flashing lights."

There, he could be cryptic too.

"Flashing lights?"

"You know, like from an ambulance or something."

"You're scared of ambulances?"

"No…just what they represent." When she didn't say anything, Sirius prodded her, "Sweetheart? Are you still there?"

"It's getting late," Lily said, thankfully switching the subject. "I should let you go…"

Sirius glanced at the clock overhead. "Yeah, my break's up. I'll see you tomorrow at school."

"Don't forget that history test in the morning," she reminded him.

Ugh.

History.

"Good night."

After Sirius had said his goodbyes, he stared at his cell phone for a long time. While he had enjoyed hearing from Lily, there was something about the call that just didn't seem right. Somehow, he knew that she had been trying to tell him something, but hadn't been able to find the right words to say.

Slowly, he pocketed the phone. Secrets could wait.

* * *

**Where we don't have to worry**

**And take two steps backward

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**

Bellatrix leaned her back against the railing and looked over to Lily, her eyebrow raised in disbelief. "You couldn't even ask him?"

Lily folded her arms and leaned against the railing too, watching as the ball was passed to Sirius. They were inside the gymnasium for the lunch period, this time around. The guys had asked Sirius to play with them and she had agreed to go with him. Most of the guys on the basketball team were present. There were others who had come to watch and were taking bets in the stands. "I didn't know how to," she admitted.

"What?"

"Don gives me the creeps," Lily said, shivering. "Sirius would probably think that the guy did something to me to make me feel that way." She shrugged one shoulder, dejectedly. "Somehow, he can always tell when I'm afraid…"

Bellatrix did not answer right away, frustrated at Lily's fear. Finally, she protested, "But all Don said was that he was searching for Sirius for years! Don't you think you should at least let Sirius know that?"

"I figured Sirius would have mentioned him already if he was so important," Lily said, defensively. "And besides, he hasn't mentioned Don to you, either."

"Weren't you listening to what I told you?" Bellatrix asked. "Sirius keeps his secrets to himself. Count yourself lucky if he decides to include you in on them."

This time, Lily pried her eyes off of the subject of their conversation and looked up at Bellatrix. "He tried telling me one secret…and I threw everything I had with him out the window," Bellatrix murmured, more to herself than to the redhead.

Lily returned her gaze to the court. Peter successfully managed to get a three-point shot in. She didn't dare ask what Bellatrix had managed to uncover, and she doubted that the beautiful woman would elaborate, anyway. "I don't care what his secrets are," she said, smiling a bit when Sirius, Remus and Peter exchanged some weird handshake with each other.

"You say that now," Bellatrix scoffed.

"He's the best thing that's happened to me," Lily told her.

Bellatrix made a sound of disgust. "Ugh. _Why_ am I still talking to you?" She said, beneath her breath. She pushed away from the railing.

Lily turned her head slightly. "Because you have nothing to hate me for."

For the first time ever, Bellatrix was speechless: she could find no response to combat what Lily had just said.

"And…I think Lupin is waving at you," Lily noted, pulling Bellatrix out of her confusion.

"Me?"

As if to prove Lily right, Remus called, "Hey, Lestrange! Come here for a minute, would you?"

Bellatrix looked ready to refuse, but thought better of it and skipped off down the bleachers, toward the court.

Lily found herself grinning, feeling like she had accomplished something. Somehow, she had reached a mutual understanding with the other woman, and it both shocked and excited her. It looked like she wasn't a hopeless case after all.

That feeling lasted only a brief moment, however, because all of a sudden, another girl took Bellatrix's place by Lily's side. Surprised by the woman's presence, the redhead looked up to see who it was.

A long, tanned, heart-shaped face topped a wiry frame of body. The girl's chin length hair was pushed back by a bandanna clashing with the bubble gum color, faded from its original hot pink dye. Lily could make out dark brown hair at the tips of the girl's crown. The bandanna was a bright purple color. In fact, everything the girl wore seemed to war in some way or another. She wore a faded black trench shirt over a dark, almost gold colored t-shirt. Across the front of the t-shirt, Lily could make out some angry red letters whenever it wasn't covered by the trench. Her jeans were decorated with silver sequins, running down the length of the leg.

Nymphadora Tonks.

Her brown eyes narrowed in disdain as she looked out over the courts, eyes settling on Bellatrix. "I hope she isn't thinking of going after Lupin," she said, and for a minute, Lily thought she was talking to someone else. Then, when those brown eyes looked expectantly at her, she felt a blush rise to her cheeks with the realization that she was indeed being addressed.

Pathetically, she froze up. Almost in a desperate manner, Lily tried to pull her walls back up, but was not quite so successful because Nymphadora leaned closer. Close enough for Lily to smell the sweetness of the gum she was chewing. Flinching, Lily's sucked in a gasp. "Oh, for heaven's sake, Evans, there's nothing to be afraid of with me," the woman said, exasperatedly. "And don't pretend you don't speak because I fully saw you holding a full conversation with Lestrange a moment ago."

Put in a situation she had never faced before, Lily floundered. She was caught between trying to decide whether she was afraid or relieved. Unfortunately, her feelings were leaning heavily toward the former emotion.

Nymphadora measured her evenly before pulling away, knowing that she had made Lily feel uncomfortable. She looked back down the rafters as the game resumed. "I guess Lupin wouldn't say no to someone like Bellatrix, would he?"

Her voice ached with sadness and Lily felt sorry for her. In truth, she couldn't help but agree: Bellatrix was someone that most guys couldn't help but stare after. It would be no surprise if she had ensnared Remus, too. In fact, it baffled her as to how Sirius was completely adverse to Bellatrix.

Seeming to read her thoughts, Nymphadora remarked, "I don't know how you managed to pull Black away from her. Him and Lestrange used to be so close."

"She hurt him," Lily whispered, in sudden understanding. "_She_ was the one who pushed him away."

Laughter from the ball court floated up to greet them. Both girls turned to see what was going on. It looked like everyone was cajoling Remus to do something and he was forced to stand in the middle of the arena. Someone else was pushed to stand next to him.

"They're betting on something again," Nymphadora noted, a smile in her voice. "They do it all the time."

Whatever the bet was, it looked like Remus won, because that silly handshake was exchanged between the friends again.

Soon afterward, the bell signaling the end of the lunch period rang, and the group down below dispersed.

"Lily!"

The foreign voice startled her and she whipped around to look for the source. At the sound of it, a cold, daunting sensation washed over her. Her eyes scanned the emptying gymnasium. Banners and pennants decorated the eastern-most stretch of wall just before the ceiling. There was a large trophy display case, right underneath, and it displayed all of the school's sports accomplishments. Leaning against the dark wood, just within the entryway, stood Don with his arms crossed, and a smirk on his lips.

Her heart felt like someone had picked it up and plunged it into ice cold water. He held up one hand in salute when she stared at him, and beckoned her over.

"Who is that?" Nymphadora asked her, following Lily's gaze to the dark stranger. "A friend of yours?"

Lily forced herself to calm down. If she panicked and raised a ruckus, Sirius would probably get looped into some sort of mess: after all, Don was his friend and he was trespassing on school grounds. With the way he was dressed, the police would not think twice about the fact that he was up to no good. He wore that tight blue leather coat again over a pair of ripped jeans, which, she noticed, were just as tight-fitting as the ones he had worn the other day.

She could ignore Don all together and pretend she did not know him, or she could go see what it was he wanted. Given the two options, she was sorely tempted to do the first, but she knew that doing so would be futile because Don would probably just call out to her again. Pretending to not know him was out of the question too because he had singled her out by name.

The jerk had cornered her.

"I'll be right back," Lily murmured, sounding more confident than she felt.

Nymphadora watched after her retreating figure curiously before shrugging it off and turning to watch as Sirius and his friends went around collecting their share of the winnings from that day's match.

When they finally made their way up to her, she greeted everyone, scowling slightly when Bellatrix skipped to stand between her and Remus. Oblivious to the reaction, the woman demanded of her, "Hey, where's Evans? Wasn't she standing with you a moment ago?"

Nymphadora looked behind her automatically, to the last place Lily had gone. "She left. Some guy wanted to talk to her, I think."

At that, Sirius raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "A guy?"

Nymphadora nodded. "Looked too old to be a student here. Maybe he's in university, or something. Or maybe it was her older brother."

"An older brother?" Sirius parroted.

"Didn't resemble her at all," Nymphadora reported. "Sorta scruffy-looking. Like you, Black. Only way cooler."

Her smile dropped when Sirius suddenly reached out and grabbed her shoulders. His handsome face had gone chalk white. "Was he tall? Dark hair?"

Wincing, Nymphadora stammered, "Y-yes. I think so."

He shook her, impatiently. "You think so?"

"Sirius, stop it!" Remus cried, reaching over to pry his friend's fingers off the woman. "What is wrong with you, man?"

Sirius let go, and Nymphadora stepped away from him, her eyes wide. "Tonks, I'm sorry," he said, breathing out in a frustrated manner. "I didn't mean to scare you. It's just…" he swiped a hand over his face.

"I'm sorry. I thought he was her friend," the girl said.

"Which way did they go?" Sirius demanded.

Nymphadora pointed, and he instantly took off, his long legs leading him quickly out of the gymnasium.

If Don really had come to the school, it meant that he wasn't going to give up.

There was no telling what lengths he would go to in order to get to Sirius.

And now, he had Lily.

Shit.

_Shit!_

**To Be Continued…

* * *

**

**AN**: Well, some secrets – however vague - have been revealed. (C'mon, give Lily credit. She tried to weasel some out of Sirius. And it worked. Partially.) I hope you guys liked this chapter too. Major thanks goes out to my sister who helped me with it. If she hadn't, I probably would have bashed my head through my computer screen. Also, thanks to all the readers and reviewers. You guys really know how to fuel my inspiration!

Please, leave me your thoughts before you exit this window. See you all next update.

Thanks for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


	14. The Darker Side

**GENUINE GEMINI by: P.P.V.V.**

_Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim Applies…all original characters are mine to claim.

* * *

_

**AN:** Oh, my goodness! Was my last update really in June? I do apologize for the long delay. Thank you to all who have been emailing me and encouraging, pestering, and begging for an update. Like I've asked several people, please be patient with me – working two jobs, doing research and school work as well as extracurriculars, I really don't have much time to sit down and write. I do so when I am able.

And so, here is the next installment.

Forward.

* * *

_Previously: _

_Bellatrix demanded of Nymphadora, "Hey, where's Evans? Wasn't she standing with you a moment ago?"_

"_She left. Some guy wanted to talk to her, I think."_

_At that, Sirius raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "A guy?"_

_Nymphadora nodded. "Looked too old to be a student here. Maybe he's in university, or something. Or maybe it was her older brother."_

"_An older brother?" Sirius parroted._

"_Didn't resemble her at all," Nymphadora reported. "Sorta scruffy-looking. Like you, Black. Only way cooler."_

_Her smile dropped when Sirius suddenly reached out and grabbed her shoulders. His handsome face had gone chalk white. "Was he tall? Dark hair?"_

_Wincing, Nymphadora stammered, "Y-yes. I think so."_

_He shook her, impatiently. "You think so?"_

"_I'm sorry. I thought he was her friend," the girl said._

"_Which way did they go?" Sirius demanded._

_Nymphadora pointed, and he instantly took off, his long legs leading him quickly out of the gymnasium._

_If Don really had come to the school, it meant that he wasn't going to give up._

_There was no telling what lengths he would go to in order to get to Sirius._

_And now, he had Lily._

_Shit.

* * *

_

**CHAPTER 14**

**- The Darker Side -**

Lily trailed after Don, a few paces away, not too close so that she could still run if she had to. She was cautious and had every reason to be; the man seemed to show up unexpectedly, and she didn't know what to think of it.

There was something in the way he carried himself that told Lily that despite his aloof demeanor, he was not someone to mess around with. Everything about him screamed dark and dangerous.

She realized what it was that seemed so familiar about him:

He reminded her of Sirius.

The recognition was so sudden that it caused her lungs to forget how to work. Now she was positive that Don hadn't been lying when he'd said he knew Sirius - there were too many similarities between them. They both possessed a casual lope, the same lean features, and the stubborn aura of a person who did things their own way.

Don, however, was the darker version of Sirius.

Someone Sirius probably would have become.

Someone Sirius could probably still become.

The thought made her tremble.

Don suddenly stopped and turned; a question in the furrow of his eyebrows. "Lily?"

His voice echoed in the vast room, and it took her a moment to realize that he had led her to the school's dance studio. Only the middle section lights had been turned on and the way their reflections in the glass were portrayed was almost similar to that of a scene in a horror movie. The mirrors extended around the room, from floor to ceiling, and a single wooden bar ran the length of it.

She flinched at the way he said her name so intimately and wished he could just disappear. But Don wasn't going to go away however much she stayed silent. She knew that he would seek her out until he managed to get what he wanted from her, so she lifted her chin and mentally cemented her feet to the floor beneath her.

"What do you want, Don?"

Her straightforward question surprised him. It was evident in the way his eyes widened slightly and in the slight pause before his answer.

"Well, if you could speak, what was with all the drama yesterday?" He asked, spreading his hands. Those ugly, ugly hands. Lily had to fight hard not to wince at the sight of them.

Instead, she self-consciously crossed her arms under her breasts as she waited for him to continue.

Seeing that she was not amused at all, Don gave her an apologetic smile. "I just want to ask you a few questions about Sirius."

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Lily said, nodding her head jerkily in the direction they had just come from. The gymnasium was no longer in sight, but she was certain that everyone was still in there.

"Well…see…Sirius wouldn't want to answer my questions," he scratched at his cheek. "He doesn't like to divulge too much information about himself." At her silence, Don grinned. "It looks like you already know that much."

"He has his reasons."

"Standing up for him. How sweet." He took a step closer, and was very impressed when she did not bolt. Her reaction to him yesterday and her nerve today had him baffled. "I wonder, though…if you know enough about him to stay that close. You're his girlfriend, aren't you?"

Lily stared at him, warily. It was obvious to her that this guy had been digging for information. That alone made her uneasy. "W-what do you mean?"

Finally. A crack.

He stepped closer, so that his face was just inches from hers. "What I mean, Lily, is: are you going to want to stay by his side when you find out the truth?" Her breath seemed to get lost somewhere between her diaphragm and esophagus. "If you found out," he whispered, "that he is crazy?"

"Sirius isn't crazy…" she heard herself protest.

A slight, mocking smile curved his lips upward. "Really? Why don't you ask him where he has been for the last three years? I promise you, he won't be too willing to answer that question."

His dark eyes seemed to bore right through her. "S-stop it…"

"Ask him what he's so afraid of. Ask him why he's given up his dream."

His…dream?

"Oh? He hasn't told you about it?"

No.

No, he hadn't.

She drew in a breath when he reached out and took her hand. "You'll see what I mean." His voice was so full of an emotion that she could not quite make out. Well, that could be because she wanted to collapse and die. She felt as though he had raped her right then and there with that small contact.

He suddenly let go and pushed past her, his sneakers squeaking against the polished hardwood floors as walked out of the room. The hysteria that she had been keeping back, pumped at her chest relentlessly. The mirrored room before her abruptly seemed too big; it stretched like an ocean and she felt light-headed.

"Lily!"

Sirius' voice was like an electrical current that smashed its way down her body. She found herself both hating the sound of it, yet welcoming it wholeheartedly. Whipping around, Lily turned to see him sprinting into the room. To say she was relieved was an understatement. He was by her side in seconds. "Are you all right?" he asked, grasping her shoulders.

Unable to speak, she could only nod.

"What happened?" Sirius demanded, shaking her slightly. There was a sense of panic in his voice.

When he moved to take her hand, she jerked away.

_ The darker side…_

No, no – that was Don, not Sirius.

Trembling, she glanced down at the hand Don had touched and realized that it was fisting something.

Something small and metallic.

Funny…she hadn't felt Don slip it to her at all.

"Sweetheart?" Sirius watched as she opened her hand slowly to take a look. He was terrified. Lily was acting very strangely and it hurt him to see her so frightened.

Like the way she had been when he had first encountered her.

"It's…a necklace…" Lily whispered.

It slipped through her shaking fingers and she nearly dropped it. She managed to snatch the thin chain though, causing the pendant that was hanging from it to dangle and swing back and forth lazily.

Sirius' eyes widened at the sight of it. He felt as though he had collided at full force with a concrete wall, or like someone had hit him in the stomach with a baseball bat.

The pendant spun slowly, each glint of the room's soft lighting that reflected off it, blinding.

He recoiled, bringing his hand up as if to shield himself. He was unaware that his feet had scooted backward four paces. "W-where…" He didn't get the chance to finish his question because his back hit the railing by the wall.

Turning, he realized where he had stepped into – the mirrors on the wall seemed to mock him.

His throat closed up as he looked, disbelievingly at his reflection.

Lily's voice came from far away, laced with confusion. "The Gemini?"

_Of course, we're twins, right?_

The symbol was black with a thin silver border. Simple, yet somehow eye-catching.

Mesmerized, she examined it, wondering why Don had given it to her.

She was brought out of her trance when she heard the sound of shattering glass. Startled, she glanced up, only to see that a huge crack now adorned the frame of one of the mirrors, like a spider web. Next to it, was Sirius' body, still and unmoving.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Chatter, consisting mostly of the latest gossip, echoed in the chamber. The squeak of locker doors opening and shutting added to the noise level. What was most annoying was that the talk seemed to center around the person that Bellatrix was not sure how to react to any more.

"I think Black is out of his mind," Narcissa was saying to Erika Windle. "She's a woman without appeal." And with a flourish, she pulled her sweater and shirt up and over her head, throwing everything carelessly into her locker and letting the door shut with a bang.

She was wearing a matching lingerie set that was dark blue with angry red lace. No one could contradict her, especially because she had a body most guys drooled over.

"So you think you're any better?" Bellatrix demanded, with a sneer. She crossed her arms under her breasts strode over.

"I wouldn't talk, Bellatrix. I wasn't the one Black dumped, after all," Narcissa shot back, hotly.

Bellatrix dusted her skirt from a piece of invisible dust. "That's right. You were his one night stand. What's the matter, cousin? Can't get your man Malfoy to fuck you long enough that you have to go for someone else's?"

Narcissa lifted her chin, and Bellatrix stepped forward, daring her to try something.

At that exact moment, Madam Hooch poked her head into the change room. "Ladies, is there a reason why it's taking you so long to get out here? Free period doesn't last forever! I want a warm up and a run through at the very least."

Narcissa tore her gaze away and grabbed her cheerleading uniform. Without another word, she began to shove the clothing on, her actions brisk and angry, proof that Bellatrix's words had gotten to her.

Curse it!

The two cousins had always been pitted against each other since they were little. Whatever one did, the other had to do. It didn't help that they were interested in the same sports, the same subjects, the same fashion – even the same men, it seemed.

Bellatrix was just about to start undressing when the front door to the room opened with a bang and there were gasps all around. Even she had to gasp when she saw a wild-eyed, panic-driven Lily rush toward her. She was pale and tears were brimming around the edges of her eyes.

"Please!" the girl cried, her voice desperate. "Please, hurry!"

"Evans?" Bellatrix asked, in pure amazement. She couldn't help but feel surprised that the normally reserved woman seemed to have forgotten that she didn't speak out loud. Now, the whole room was zeroing in on her and she didn't seem to care.

"I think – I think he's dead!" Lily's hand came out to grip Bellatrix's forearm.

"Dead? Who?"

Impatiently, Lily wiped at her tears with the back of her free hand. "He collapsed. He's not breathing, and…it was so sudden…he's not breathing!" she said again.

Bellatrix wrenched her arm from her grasp. "Calm down, Evans!" she commanded. "Who are you talking about?"  
"Sirius!" Lily sobbed. "Please…help me!"

Bellatrix huffed. Didn't Lily get it? She didn't want to have anything to do with Sirius when the man had made it perfectly clear to her who he chose. Yet, at the same time, she felt sorry for her. "Where is he?"

"The dance studio," hiccoughed Lily.

Tugging her shirt back down, Bellatrix spun to face the other girls who were still watching the exchange with interest. "Tell the coach that I'll be back. You guys can start warm up without me." Her tone left no room for argument – after all, she was captain. Turning back to Lily, she said shortly, "Let's go."  
Gratefully, Lily led the way back to the studio, the other rooms a blur as she ran past them. She didn't notice the other students in the hallways. They parted like the sea before a ship as she sailed by.

Remus and Peter also glanced up when they saw the two rushing by. Remus, who was holding onto a basketball, tossed it lightly to Peter. "Just a sec," he mumbled, keeping his eyes on the backs of the ladies.

Something wasn't right.

He didn't like the look on either of their faces.

Had Sirius done something again?

"Wha-? Wait, Remus! What about free period?" Peter called, but Remus had already taken to running after them. He caught up to them just as the two reached the studio's entrance. Upon looking into the dimly lit room, he could tell instantly what was wrong.

"Shit!" he shouted. "Sirius!"

"Oh my God," Bellatrix breathed, at the same time, as her eyes went from Sirius' limp form to the long cracks that now lined one of the many mirrors in the room. She could see blood there, and she could only associate it with the injury that Sirius now sported on his fists. "Evans, did he attack you?"

Lily shook her head. "No, no! He didn't!"

Bellatrix remembered his panic moments ago when he had found out from Tonks that Lily had gone off with another man. "Then, this guy who wanted to talk to you, did _he_…"

"No," Lily said again. She was about to explain more, but Remus called out, "How long has he been like this?"

"Fifteen minutes at most?" Lily reported, adding a question to the end of her statement because she wasn't too sure. To her, it felt like an eternity.

Remus didn't spare the time to marvel at the sound of Lily's voice, nor did he bother to let the shock of her speaking to him register on his face. He bent over his friend's body and checked his pulse. "This is bad," he murmured. "Sirius, breathe!"

"What happened?" Bellatrix asked. Her own voice held an edge of hysteria to it.

"Why the hell did he come in here?" asked Remus, ignoring Bellatrix's question all together.

"It's my fault," Lily said. "Don wanted to have a word in private, and Sirius followed me in here."

Remus growled, "Idiot!" and Lily flinched, not knowing whether the derogatory word was aimed at her or at Sirius.

"He hates the hospital," Bellatrix said, pushing forward and falling to her knees beside Sirius' head.

"I know that," Remus snapped. "Why do you think I haven't called for an ambulance yet?" he turned back to Sirius, shaking him. "Come on, Sirius, don't do this to me again."

Lily echoed, "Again?"

Remus ignored her. "Sirius! Wake up! Sirius, can you hear me? Sirius…"

But Sirius was too far gone. Gone to a place where the only voice he could hear was a voice that he thought he'd never hear again.

**They say ignorance is bliss,**

**But bliss is in forgetting everything you know. **

"Sirius! Sirius, wait up, would you?" James grumbled, running while trying to slip his right arm through his uniform's sleeve. His book bag was slung over his left shoulder, making it impossible for him to put the blazer on all the way, properly. In his fingers, he held his breakfast – a burnt piece of toast that had been buttered lightly.

Sirius laughed, looking back over his shoulder, and slowed his pace only slightly. "It's your fault for sleeping in!" he called.

James dropped his toast and cursed aloud. There was no way in hell that he would eat that now. "You could have woken me up!" he complained. "Your part of the assignment took me all night to finish, you know."

At that, Sirius stopped running, a sheepish look creeping onto his handsome face. "Hey, I didn't ask you to…"

"You might not care if you get a low mark, but I do. If I fall behind in anything I'm going to have to forfeit my extracurricular activities. That was part of the deal, remember?" he caught up at last and proceeded to hand Sirius his bag so he could fix himself up properly.

"You can't get kicked out of the motor club," Sirius said.

"I was forced to quit my job, wasn't I?"

"Well, at least you were able to buy your own motorcycle before that happened," said Sirius, handing back the book bag.

James shrugged, falling into step beside him. As long as he didn't get kicked out of the motor club, he didn't mind not working. It would be expensive to keep maintenance on his bike without a job, he knew, but now, staying within the ranks was the most important thing for him. Granted, he wasn't a very good rider, but he was doing his best. He wanted to get on Rude's team so badly; his tryouts went pretty well, if you asked him. Even if he was put on as a spare, that was enough. Eventually, he'd ride, and that was all he wanted.

It had been something he and Sirius had dreamed of when they were younger. Ever since they were little, racing had always been a thrill.

Ah, the speed!

The freedom!

The excitement!

Nothing beat the sensation of ripping through the air like a bullet.

They rounded a corner and cut through the park, where many other students from their high school were taking the same path. It was cold for an October morning, the air clean and crisp. The leaves on the trees around them were sporting different colors already, clinging with everything they had to stay on their branches a little longer than their neighbors. Neither of the boys noticed the scenery or the glances that were being directed their way.

"The motorcycles are in," James informed Sirius. "They're tuned and ready for action, just in time for the next meet."

Sirius grinned. "You've seen them, then?"

"Went yesterday night," James confirmed. "They're beautiful, Sirius! I can't wait to ride them!"

Sirius finally took the time to glance around them, and he lowered his voice, a teasing note in this tone. "If someone was just listening in and had no idea what we were talking about, they'd take whatever you just said the wrong way."

At that, James turned beet red. When it came to women, he had never been very knowledgeable. While all the girls fawned over him, he could not care less. Sirius had often scolded him that he needed to stop being such a geek, and to look at the world around them or else he'd miss it entirely.

He coughed, indication that he was not happy with the change in subject, and Sirius made a face in response. "Anyway," James continued, ignoring the amused look that his friend was giving him, "the mechanic said we could pick them up after school today if we wanted."

Sirius was about to respond, but was interrupted when a soccer ball came flying toward him. Instinctively, he brought his knee up to intercept it, and it worked, bouncing off and arching toward James, who moved back a pace or two to juggle the ball with his feet before rolling it to a stop.

"Sorry!" A female voice called. "Do you mind passing the ball?"

James and Sirius exchanged looks before the former did as he was asked, kicking it toward the stranger.

She grinned at them when she caught it. "Hey, you're the transfer students, right?"

Again, James and Sirius glanced at each other before the latter moved forward. "What about it?"

"You really _are_ as cute as everyone says!" the girl laughed. She had long dark hair that was held back by a ribbon. She was tall, with an athlete's build. Her legs were muscled and tan, clashing with the ugly brown-red of her uniform skirt. Sirius could not help letting his eyes travel up the length of her, before stopping at her face.

Not all that bad.

"Done looking?" she smirked, and for the first time ever, Sirius self consciously blushed. He was saved by James, who grabbed his shoulder and steered him clear of her.

"If you'll excuse us," he said, icily, "we'll be late for class."

He didn't wait for her response as he marched away, with Sirius in tow. Only when they had reached the school's gates did he let go.

Sighing, Sirius reached out to ruffle James' already unruly hair. "Well, that's the way to turn a girl _off_, if you know what I mean."

James rolled his eyes. "You and your women." He began to walk to the entrance doors, and Sirius trailed him.

"I'd love to see the day you actually thought of something other than racing," he said.

"As if that would ever happen," James said, disdainfully.

"Oh, it will," Sirius insisted. "There's bound to be a girl that will catch your fancy at some point."

"If we get an after-school-detention because we're late, I'll never forgive you," James told him, sternly, changing the subject, abruptly. He was looking forward to getting his motorcycle and he couldn't wait any longer. "Hey, do you think there's a possibility they'll take us _both_ onto the team?"  
Sirius shoved his hands into his pockets and bit his lip as he followed James down the crowded hallways. Clearing his throat, he tried to sound enthusiastic as he said, "Of course! We're twins, right?"

James glanced back over his shoulder, beaming. "You're right. They've got to take us both."

Sirius felt his heart plummet into his stomach, but he carefully kept the expression on his face cheerful.

How was he going to tell James that he had already been drafted? That this Saturday would be his first official race as part of a team? He forced himself to say, "And anyway, even if they don't, at least one of us will make it on, right? It's better than nothing."

James turned to face him and Sirius wondered whether his friend had figured out his meaning. Instead, he said, "I still hope they'll take us both. I'd feel awful if only one of us got drafted."

Sirius felt his mouth go dry, and he could only nod, while James continued to lead the way to class.

He should have said something.

He should have.

But he didn't.

**0-0-0-0-0**

A white ceiling.

White walls.

…where was he?

Knowing better than to sit up right away, Sirius lay back, and waited for the pain to subside. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on breathing, until he was able to get a rhythm that was not so strained and not so uneven.

He felt a hand on his chest, and he opened his eyes to see Lily bending over him. Her green eyes were sparkling with relief, and a small smile graced her face.

"…Hey…"

He winced inwardly at his pathetic croak.

She gently moved her hand from his chest to his face, never letting her fingers leave his body, tracing a hot trail upward. "Hey," she whispered back. "Are you feeling better?"

A breathy laugh was all he could manage. He felt like he'd been used as a punching bag with the way his body seemed to be throbbing. The pain was ebbing away though, and with the way Lily's fingers were caressing his jaw, he felt more at ease.

"You're in the Hospital Ward of the Academy," Lily told him. Between her, Remus and Bellatrix, they had managed to get him out of the Dance Studio and into Madam Pomfrey's care. His hand was neatly bandaged now, and a healthy tinge of pink had come back to his cheeks and lips.

Despite his current condition, Sirius felt the sudden urge to wrap his arms around her and pull her into bed with him. He was glad that he had a blanket on or else his desire would have been very apparent, he was sure. He kept his hands at his sides, knowing that Lily would probably be against the idea.

Her fingers moved up to his hair, combing it back in a soothing way. It was enough to make his body relax and his eyes close. "…Lily…"

"You'll be okay," she was still whispering, and distantly, Sirius wondered if there were any other sick patients in the room with them. He didn't dwell on the thought very long though, because he was being lulled back to sleep.

"Lily…" he tried again. "Lily…don't…"

"I'm right here," she assured him, and as if that was all he needed to hear, he drifted back into darkness.

When she was certain he was asleep, Lily leaned back, into the chair she had pulled up next to his cot. Again, she couldn't help but reach out and put her hand to his chest, to make sure that it was rising and falling like it should.

Remus' voice made her jump and turn. "Is he awake?"

Lily glanced back at Sirius and shook her head.

Uncertainly, Remus hovered at the doorway. He wasn't too sure about what Lily's reaction to him would be, so he didn't venture any further. Instead, he asked, "Is he all right?"

This time, Lily nodded.

There was an awkward silence that followed and then Remus demanded, "What happened, Evans? Sirius nearly went berserk earlier in the gymnasium when Tonks told him you'd gone off with another guy. And then, he ends up like this. Who was the guy? An old boyfriend of yours?"

Lily removed her hand from Sirius' chest looked at Remus, pointedly. "No, he wasn't an old boyfriend. He claims he's a friend of Sirius."

Remus, unaccustomed to the sound of Lily's voice directed at him, had to brace himself against the doorframe. She could not keep up the staring contest, however, and returned her gaze to her boyfriend. "Who was he?" he asked, again.

Lily's answer was long in coming. "He said his name was Don…."

"Never met him," said Remus, after rifling the pages of his mind to put a face to the name.

"You said…you said that this has happened to Sirius before," she said, not wanting to think about Don. "When?"  
Remus took a step into the room. "Four times already. One just recently." He moved toward the side of another cot to retrieve a chair. It was one of those fold-up things, and this he plopped next to Lily and proceeded to straddle it, his arms resting on the back of the seat's rest. "He can't stand looking into mirrors," he said, glancing at the figure of his sleeping friend. "Whenever he sees his reflection, he hyperventilates and collapses."

From the corner of his eye, he could see Lily's hands turn into fists in her lap. Don's voice seemed to mock her. _Are you going to want to stay by his side when you find out the truth? If you found out that he is crazy? _

As if to fill in the silence, Remus continued, "I found out one time when Sirius and I were out buying drinks. He suddenly smashed the convenience store's mirror and collapsed. We got arrested by the police for damage to private property." Ah, yes, to say he had been terrified out of his wits that day was an understatement. When Sirius had woken up, Remus overheard him telling the police about the reason.

"Why?"  
"Hmmm?"

"Why does he react that way?" Lily asked.

Remus shrugged one shoulder. "Apparently, it brings back a bad memory or something. Whenever that memory is triggered, he passes out."

… _If you found out that he is crazy?_

Lily said loudly, "He's not crazy!"

"Didn't say he was," he said, gently. "He's just got a condition, that's all. Kinda like when someone is allergic to peanuts. You can't help it if you choke or rash when you eat them, right? Same shit, I think."

Lily nodded, comforted by that thought. At the same time, she couldn't help thinking about the cracked mirror in the Dance Studio. The cracked mirror of Sirius' bedside table. Was it really a condition?

Remus was talking again, so she forced herself to listen to him. "I'm surprised he went in there at all. Whoever this Don fellow is, Sirius must not like him very much. He didn't like the fact that you went off with him."

"Do you think Don knows about his condition, too?" Lily asked.

"Dunno. Maybe? Why?"

"He knew Sirius would come after me," she said. "He must have known Sirius would react that way…"

React?

Wait…

She remembered something else he had reacted so negatively to.

Remus watched her start to dig through her pockets. Before he could ask what it was she was looking for, she produced something thin and black, dangling from the end of a chain. "Don gave me this," she said, showing it to him. "When Sirius saw it, he acted as though it was the plague."

Remus held his hand out and she placed the necklace in the palm of his hand. "What is it?" He flipped the pendant around.

"It's…it's a zodiac sign," Lily told him. "The symbol for the Gemini."

"The Gemini?"

She nodded.

He scrutinized it some more before shaking his head. "I don't think he's ever mentioned anything about the Gemini to me before. I have no clue why he'd act that way." He proceeded to hand it back to her. "Maybe you could ask him when he wakes up."

Lily pocketed the item once more before reaching out to touch Sirius' chest again. She'd ask him when the time came. She was tired of talking to Remus and emotionally drained.

Seeing her frown, Remus stood up. "You should get some rest too, Evans. If there's anything else I can help you with, let me know."

Instead of answering, she put her head down in her arms, listening to Sirus' heartbeat. It was thumping steadily and she was glad for it. When Remus left the room, she wasn't sure, and she didn't really care. Talking with him had taken a huge toll on her mentally, and she hoped that she wouldn't have to do that again any time soon.

So many questions were racing in her mind and she wasn't sure if she should ask Sirius to answer them.

Don's words came back to her: _I promise you, he won't be too willing to answer that question. _

She raised her head and studied Sirius' sleeping face. "I'm scared…" she confided to him, quietly. She wanted to trust him, and she needed him to trust her, but to do that, secrets would have to be put in the light. "It's not going to work," she said, knowing the gravity of her situation. "I'm not strong enough to support you. My problems are only going to weigh you down more…" and she put her head back down in her arms and wept at the realization that she would have to say goodbye. She would not let herself be a burden to this man that she'd come to love.

When no more tears would come, she stood and took his hand. Tenderly, she placed the necklace and pendant in his hand and curled his fingers around it. Then, she leaned over and kissed him on the lips.

Bellatrix, who had come to see how Sirius was doing and had heard Lily's sobs, stopped by the doorway when the redhead pushed past her. Without thinking, she reached out to grasp her arm. "Where are you going?"

Lily's voice wavered. "I'm sorry Lestrange…" she said, tugging her arm free. "I'm sorry…I can't – I won't. Sirius is better off without me…"

"What? Evans, what are you on about?"

"I'm sorry…" Lily said again. She seemed to want to say more, but she abruptly turned and ran down the hallway, leaving Bellatrix to stare after her in confusion.

**To Be Continued….

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**

**AN: **Well, Lily found something out about Sirius, at least. The story's rolling along nicely – at last, we see James! I'd love to hear your speculations about Sirius' past. Again, I'm sorry that I didn't update sooner. I haven't forgotten about this story though. It will continue, but in good time. Keep your eyes peeled for the next update. Reviews and emails are always welcome and greatly appreciated!

Thanks for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


	15. Taking the Plunge

**GENUINE GEMINI by: P.P.V.V.**

_Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim applies…all original characters are mine to claim. _**

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**AN:** After three weeks, I'm back. So this chapter was written faster than the last one, because I was inspired. I guess studying does that to a body. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'm just proud to note that I'm not two months late, this time around.

Onward.

* * *

_Previously: _

_Lily raised her head and studied Sirius' sleeping face. "I'm scared…" she confided to him, quietly. She wanted to trust him, and she needed him to trust her, but to do that, secrets would have to be put in the light. "It's not going to work," she said, knowing the gravity of her situation. "I'm not strong enough to support you. My problems are only going to weigh you down more…" and she put her head back down in her arms and wept at the realization that she would have to say goodbye. She would not let herself be a burden to this man that she'd come to love._

_When no more tears would come, she stood and took his hand. Tenderly, she placed the necklace and pendant in his hand and curled his fingers around it. Then, she leaned over and kissed him on the lips.

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**Chapter 15**

**- Taking the Plunge -**

His fingers hovered over the button, uncertainly. His eyes were glued to the half-lit square of a screen, staring at the name that was now barely visible. How many times had he put away the phone, only to pull it back out? Why he was being so indecisive, he had yet to figure out.

Having woken to find Lily missing by his side and the pendant pressed into his hand, he knew without a doubt, that she was not happy with his alarming reaction in the Dance Studio. Perhaps she had been scared away, as most of his other girlfriends in the past had been. But then again, as he had pointed out to her before, Lily was different from those other girls. She was the type to take everything in stride, and didn't draw conclusions about him right away.

So, why was he so scared?

His thumb circled the _call _button, just as the backlighting of his screen died completely, in an effort to conserve battery. Again, he flipped the cell phone closed and lay it down in his lap.

He would have to explain his past to her, that's why.

Explaining things meant that he'd have to divulge some secrets that he wasn't sure he was willing to share.

But didn't she deserve to know? John was right: the spells were coming too often nowadays and it might happen again. He must have given Lily a heart attack. If he collapsed and passed out again on her in the future, she might do more than just bring him to the school's hospital ward. He shivered at the prospect of being brought anywhere else – as if this place wasn't bad enough.

He realized that his fear of rejection was overwhelming. He was certain that if Lily dumped him, he'd go crazy. There was just something about her that he could not live without.

_Just do it_! He told himself, fiercely. If she thought that he wasn't good enough for her, well, there were plenty of fish in the sea. It was time to stop being such a wimp and face his fears.

…well, one of them, anyway.

Reaching over, he plucked the phone up and pressed call, before he could chicken out again.

With shaking fingers, he brought the receiver up to his ear.

Each ring was like a doomsday toll, echoing through his whole body. She picked up on the fourth ring, and by that time, he had sweat up a storm.

"Hello?"

Her voice was comforting in and of itself. As sappy as it sounded, he decided he could drown himself in it. Letting the familiarity of the sound wash over him, Sirius did not respond right away. Finally, he breathed, "Lily, it's me."

She let out an audible sigh, and he wondered what it implied.

There was a long silence as he groped for an explanation. It was Lily who took the initiative to speak, though. "How are you feeling?"

Well, that was a good start, if anything. "Fine," he replied, cautiously. " About earlier…I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For suddenly collapsing on you like that. It must have freaked you out."

He waited for her to say something but was greeted with silence. "Sweetheart?"

"Sirius, what happened to you, back there?"

His mind raced for an excuse, but for some reason, none presented themselves to him. "I…collapsed…it just happened...I don't know why…"

Lily asked, "Has it happened before?"

_Oh, God…she must think I'm crazy._

The thought angered him, and he clenched his teeth. He glared, hatefully at the pendant that he had thrown across the room and now lay a few feet away from him. Damn it, why did Don have to show up now, of all times? Why did he have to go and bring back the past when he had tried so hard to forget it? "No."

Then she asked, "Sirius, have you ever lied to me?"

His response was automatic; defensive. "No."

_Just now_.

Another pause.

"Why don't you call me back when you're ready to talk?" Lily murmured. "You don't sound so good."

She knew he was lying, and he could tell she was upset about it.

Sirius shook his head and pressed the phone harder to his ear. "No, no. I can talk now. Listen, Lily, I know that my collapsing seemed surreal and stuff, but I can explain everything."

He could picture her eyebrow going up when she demanded, "Everything?"

Sirius felt like his insides had to turn to ice. His eyes unexpectedly filled with tears. How could she demand this of him, now?

_Because she deserves to know_.

Slowly, he let his head fall back to hit the metal headboard of the Hospital Wing's cot.

"No…" he whispered. "No, not everything."

He wasn't ready.

"All right then," she agreed, in that same murmur. "I guess I'll talk to you when you feel up to it."

His breath was hitching in his throat and he reached up to wipe away a stray tear that had managed to break free. That was a breakup line if ever he heard one. Her voice held evidence of unshed tears in it too. "How can I learn to trust you if you won't trust me?"

Lily was right, of course. They couldn't go on living as though there was nothing wrong with their lives. Sirius' throat was so closed up that he could not respond to that. Instead, he snapped his phone shut and threw it with all the force he could against the wall, where it promptly left a mark and broke. Angrily, he brought his hands up to comb through his hair as he succumbed to his tears. She was being so unfair! It wasn't as though he was the only one who needed open up. He was certain she had her secrets, too.

Still, he hated himself for lying to her.

Madam Pomfrey came running in a few moments later, not at all pleased for the way Sirius had taken to flinging things around her sickroom. "Mr. Black!" she cried, seeing the pieces of his cell phone lying in a heap. "What is going on?"

"Sorry," Sirius mumbled, sheepishly moving to gather the pieces up. He kept his eyes downward, not wanting her to see the evidence of his tears. If she noticed it, he was grateful that she did not point it out.

"As much as I don't like the prospect of you missing school, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to go home for the day," she told him, as he stuffed everything, including the pendant, into the pockets of his pants.

"But I'm fine," he protested.

"Having a concussion in the middle of the school day is not what I call fine," Madam Pomfrey told him, sternly. "And with intended damage to school property, you are lucky that you aren't being suspended."

His right hand throbbed at her words, and he vaguely remembered smashing one of the Dance Studio's mirrors.

Sirius found he didn't have the strength to argue. The thought of curling up in his own bed was suddenly very tempting. Dizzily, he sat down on the edge of the cot, willing himself to not get sick all over the floor. He should have stayed lying down – he was always disoriented after incidents like these.

Madam Pomfrey was speaking again. "I'll arrange to have transportation bring you home."

"I can't leave my bike," he said, shaking his head.

"Well, you're in no condition to drive," she scolded. "If you know someone who can take care of it, you'd best ask them to."

Ugh.

Yeah, he really didn't need this right now.

It ended up that Remus agreed to take him home. His motorcycle was going to be looked after by Charlie, who had not been thrilled at the prospect of towing it around.

Before leaving the school, Madam Pomfrey had given Sirius something to help calm his nausea, and it served to knock him out during the trip home. He woke only when John came to collect him and helped drag him up the steps to of his apartment building. His feet seemed to slip and slide under him, and inwardly, Sirius wondered kind of medicine he had ingested that made him feel like he was made of jelly. Whatever it was, it was powerful stuff, because he was asleep again before John could get him to his room.

**0-0-0-0-0**

It was cold when he awoke, and he realized it was because he was not wearing a shirt, and that the door to his apartment was open. John must have been checking on him periodically, and Sirius was immensely grateful for the man's tolerance. He was certain that any other landlord wouldn't have given a rat's ass about him, and if they did, it would probably be to get something more out of him.

Gingerly, he sat up in bed, and was relieved to find that the stuffed-up feeling he had had earlier was gone. Abruptly, he remembered what happened at the hospital ward and his chest constricted in grief.

_Lily…_

Her last words to him echoed in his mind. _How can I learn to trust you when you won't trust me?_

He needed more time.

John's voice filling the room nearly made him jump out of his skin. "Ah, you're awake, I see."

"Fuck!" Sirius cried, in alarm. "John, don't _do_ that!"

The elder man chuckled at his reaction. "Getting drunk at school, too?" he teased.

Face heating, Sirius scowled. "No. Just another spell. I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings. I passed out in the Dance Studio."

John winced. "Ouch. Serves you right. How are you feeling now?"

"Better, I guess."

"Want to explain this?"

Looking up, Sirius saw that John was holding the scraps to his cell phone in the palm of his hand. When he didn't respond right away, his landlord asked, "Was it a fight, Sirius?"

Sirius clenched his teeth, remembering his argument with Lily. She had all but told him that she didn't want to talk to him unless he told her about his problems. He hadn't meant to let his temper get the best of him, and he was feeling terribly guilty about the way he had acted. He brought his knees up to his chest and draped his long arms around them, before putting his head down on top of them.

He could feel John's penetrating stare, but he didn't care. Finally, the man said, "If you need anything, you know where to find me."

Sirius did not respond, for fear of letting John hear his sobs.

Since when had he become such a softy?

_Since I fell in love_, he answered himself.

But Lily didn't love him back. How could she? How _would _she if she found out about what he'd done? About where he'd been? About what they said?

A sudden desire to drink away his sorrows came over him. Anything would be better than feeling this hollowness – this crushing despair. Maybe he could forget all about her, the way he'd tried to do before.

Unfortunately, he could not find the strength to move. If he curled up more, maybe he could disappear…

John came to check on him again, hours later, only to find the boy in that same position he had left him in. With some coaxing, he was finally able to get Sirius to change into something more comfortable. He even managed to bully Sirius out of his room and down the hall into his apartment where he promptly tried to shove some food down the younger man's throat.

Sirius went about the actions passively, not really tasting the soup that was in front of him. His fork swirled at the noodles within, his eyes unfocused as he stared at them.

Unlike his place, John's apartment was brighter and color-coded. His kitchen consisted of steel-surfaced appliances, white dishes and a glass table that had been covered with a black table cloth. Whether it was to contrast with the dishes or for Sirius' benefit of making him incapable of seeing his reflection, he did not say.

His living room was brown, from the picture frames to the coffee table, to the leather couches. And unlike Sirius' apartment, the lights were on glaringly bright.

For the second time that day, John asked him how he was feeling.

"I'm fine…" Sirius heard himself say. Inwardly, he cringed: he sounded like a robot, even to his own ears.

"Like hell you are," John said, leaning his chair back a few inches. "I'm afraid you're going to go all homicidal on me if I leave you alone for a moment. You didn't answer my question earlier: was it a fight?"

Sirius snapped his eyes up to his landlord's concerned face. "I told you, I'm fine."

"So it _was _a fight."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Sirius - "

"- John, I don't want to talk about it," Sirius said, trying his best to rein in his anger. His knuckles had turned white around the handle of the fork he was holding. He fought down the urge to grab the bowl in front of him and smash it.

John must have picked up on his hostility because the legs to the front of his chair plunked back down onto the hard linoleum that lined his kitchen floors. "All right, kid. But obviously something's bothering you. If there's anyone out there that I have to knock out, you let me know."

That brought a small smile to Sirius' face. "No, I wouldn't want you to hurt her."

"Ah, so it's a lady." Sirius glared at him, warningly, but John chuckled despite it.

"Bastard," Sirius growled, but he was more focused on a sudden thought that crossed his mind. They were only hurting each other by keeping their secrets to themselves. Lily was right in wanting a relationship based on truths.

"So…you got into a fight with your girlfriend?"

Sirius hung his head. "Something like that…" he allowed. With a sigh, he let the fork drop back into the bowl, and John raised an eyebrow.

"My cooking isn't that bad, Black," he said, sounding playfully offended.

"I'm not hungry," Sirius said.

John got up, and a few moments later, he set a glass of water down in front of him. "You look like shit. That spell you had must have been one hell of a faint. Or do you not remember it again?"

Sirius took the glass gratefully and swallowed back its contents in one gulp. "I remember," he said, when he was finished. "I remember everything."

At that, John flashed him a grin. "That's great news! Maybe this will lead you to getting rid of these spells for good."

The dark-haired boy watched as John went about cleaning up the table, distracted momentarily from his sulking. He asked hopefully, "Do you really think so?"

"Sure!" John said. "There's a first time for everything, right?"

Well, it was true that Sirius had never remembered anything in detail that happened before or after one of his fainting sessions. He could only hope that whatever he remembered had actually happened and that he wasn't fabricating memories. The only way to find out would be to talk to the people that had been present – and the only person present at the time had been Lily.

If he wanted answers, he'd have to give them.

Getting to his feet, he nearly knocked over his chair, but John's longer arm came out to steady it. "Maybe you should crash here," John offered, worriedly. "You don't seem very balanced right now."

Sirius considered turning down the offer, but there was a part of him that did not want to be left alone.

John didn't let him respond right away, saying, "You could take the guest room. I'll just make sure that there aren't any mirrors or any glass surfaces." He practically flew out the door, leaving Sirius to contemplate finishing his soup. It had been years since he'd tasted a home-cooked meal. Suddenly, he was ravenous, and he tucked into his meal with gusto.

Moments later, John came back to find Sirius standing at the sink, washing the dishes, the whole pot of soup that he had cooked, empty.

"Well, I'm glad you liked it," he drawled, happy to see that Sirius seemed a bit livelier than he had been earlier.

Sirius threw him a smirk. "You realize that I have never had to wash dishes before in my life."

"Like I said, there's a first time for everything," his landlord said, shaking his head in amusement. "Everything's set for you. The washroom is right across from the guest room. Toiletries are on top of the bed, if you need them."

Sirius rinsed the last bowl and added them to the pile of draining silverware. "Thanks, John. I really appreciate it."

"No problem, kid. I honestly don't know why I put up with your shit."

"It's because I'm so loveable."

"Shove off, Black," John snorted, good-naturedly. "I'm gonna have to start charging you double rent if you keep this up."

Sirius resisted the urge to stick his tongue out, and opted instead to chuck the dishtowel at the elder man, who caught it deftly. "Can you do one more thing for me?" he asked, as John absently draped the cloth over one of his chairs.

"What?"

"I…I need a new phone."

"As long as you promise not to smash the next one," John said. "You give the other one I got you, away?"

"To my girlfriend," Sirius told him, with a nod. "I…"

"Go to bed, Sirius," John ordered, in a long-suffering way. "I'll get you another cell phone, don't worry." He shook his head again, "Geez. The things I do for you…"

Sirius grinned, insisting, "It's because I'm so loveable!"

"Good _night_, Sirius!"

**0-0-0-0-0**

The weekend passed by uneventfully. Lily found herself pulling her cell phone out time and time again, checking to see if she'd missed any calls.

Checking to see if _he_ called.

Several times, she tried calling Sirius, but she always got his answering machine.

Maybe he didn't want to talk to her any more.

So she'd been a little forceful, but she'd been scared. When he had fainted on her, she hadn't known what to do.

His outright lie had hurt her.

They had agreed to keep their secrets to themselves, but lying hadn't been part of the bargain.

_You're being too selfish_, she scolded herself. If he had asked her to open up, would she have?

Yes.

Yes, she would have.

Because she had been ready to tell him before.

She needed to tell him now. If he decided that she wasn't worth his time after all, then and only then would she call it off with him.

Once again, she found herself staring at her phone, expectantly, hoping against hope that it would ring and that she would hear his voice, but it stayed silent, as it had ever since their small spat.

And so, her weekend came and went.

Monday was no different, and much to her disappointment, he wasn't present. Tuesday was a repeat, until she started to become worried that he had disappeared for good.

But he'd promised her he wouldn't do that again.

In some ways, their small break was a relief. It helped her to think things through and mentally prepare herself for what was to come. If ever it was to come…

Wednesday was cold and bleak, with snow falling in small wisps, yet somehow managing to accumulate enough to turn into slush around the students' boots. A few first years had taken it upon themselves to start up a snowball fight, which Lily barely managed to avoid getting caught up in.

She liked snow, but she wasn't fond of the cold. Already, she was starting to lose feeling in her hands and these, wrapped in their woolen sheaths, she rubbed together as she climbed the stairs to the school's front entrance.

Charlie and Amos were standing next to it, smoking, and they called out greetings to her as she passed. Managing a smile, she waved back shyly, before letting herself in and hurrying to her first class of the day.

It was during third period that things picked up. Professor McGonogall stopped her lecture so abruptly that all heads snapped up to see what was wrong. There, standing in the doorway, was Sirius. He was wearing a tight-fitting, red leather jacket, the hood of his sweater poking out the back. He wore tight leather pants as well, reminding Lily of the way Don had been dressed, the other day. His black hair had been hastily tied back, so that his face, pink from the cold, could clearly be seen. Under one arm, he had tucked his helmet.

Lily was certain that all the girls in the room were blushing, because she sure was. How could it be that he could look so perfect?

He didn't seem to care about all the looks he was receiving as he scanned the room.

There she was, in the middle row, instead of the back where she usually sat. Without looking left or right, Sirius strode over to her desk, and grabbed her arm.

"Mr. Black, where are you going?" Professor McGonogall demanded, as he pulled Lily out of her seat.

"Come on," he told her, ignoring the teacher completely. He handed her the helmet. "Here, put this on."

"Mr. Black!"

"Sorry, Professor. This is kinda more important than class right now," Sirius said, still not bothering to look at the woman. He watched impatiently as Lily obediently slid the helmet on and fastened it into place. She quickly snatched up her other belongings as Sirius began to steer her out the door.

"Where are you taking Ms. Evans?" McGonogall was staring to sound like a parrot with the way she was squawking.

"Don't worry," Sirius grumbled, not at all in the mood to joke around, "I'll return her."

From somewhere in the room, Jared let out a whistle and Devon, his seatmate, clapped his hands.

"Evans, I'll take notes for you!" Tonks sang, waving a pink pencil that was almost the exact same shade as her hair, in the air.

A few more catcalls and whistles later, and Sirius got them out the door.

Lily strove to keep up with him as she tried to slip her coat on at the same time. There was no way in hell she was going outside without it on. "Sirius…what…where?"

But he didn't answer her, making a beeline to the Headmaster's office and barging in without knocking.

Aghast, Lily stumbled in after him, reaching out to grab a hold of the back of his jacket to restrain him. Startled, the Headmaster almost fell out of his chair at the sudden, unexpected call. He was so surprised that he forgot all about formalities asking, "Sirius? What's the matter?"

"I'm sure you heard what happened last Friday," Sirius told him, bluntly. "If you need an excuse for my absence these last few days, see Madam Pomfrey for details."

"Why, yes…but…"

"I'm not supposed to be back yet, according to her orders, but I need to borrow Lily, if you don't mind," Sirius said. "I pulled her out of class and I don't want her getting into any trouble because of me."

Behind the screen of the helmet, Lily rolled her eyes. Trust Sirius to act without thinking and then apologize for it right in the middle.

Dumbledore seemed to recover from his shock, because he said, "Mr. Black, I hope you know that you'll both be getting a detention for this. And you'll both have to write a formal letter of apology to your third period professor."

Sirius waved his hand, an indication that it didn't matter. "Yes, yes. Anything else?"

"This had better be good," the Headmaster sighed.

"Trust me. It is. This will decide my whole future," Sirius told him. "Isn't that what school is all about? Helping you with the future? I need your support, sir."

"Make sure you get the notes from the classes that you've missed."

"Yes, sir."

"And make sure there's someone taking notes for her, for the classes that she's going to miss."

"Yes, sir."

"And Sirius?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Good luck."

Sirius actually bowed his head. "Thank you. Thank you so much!" Without hesitating, he grabbed Lily's hand and towed her out of the office.

His motorcycle sat under the bright sunlight, showing the same black and red colors that its owner was sporting. The way it was parked right at the entrance and not with the other cars, was proof that Sirius had been in a rush.

Lily yanked her hand free of his when they came to the vehicle. He turned to her, surprise clearly written on his face. "Sirius, wait," she heard herself say. "Where are you taking me? What's going on?"

"We're going to the Art Museum," he said. "I want to show you something."

"The…the what?"

"Come on," he urged, pulling another helmet that Lily had overlooked, off the perch of his beloved motorcycle's seat. Hastily, he shoved it on and climbed aboard, looking to her, expectantly.

Bursting with questions, both apprehensive and curious, she followed his example, locking her arms around his waist again. He reached down as if to check and make sure her hands were secure, before revving his engine twice. The roar of it filled her ears and filled her with a mixed sense of joy and fear.

They raced along, moving faster than the speed limit allowed, but Sirius did not care. He was certain Lily could feel the heavy beat of his heart as he weaved in and out of traffic, and he wondered what she thought of it.

Could she tell he was terrified out of his wits?

He sped up all the more, determined not to let his cowardice get the better of him. He was going to show her something that he had never shown anyone. He was going to risk everything for the first time ever.

When they finally reached their destination and found a parking space, he found himself gasping for air: Lily's grip around his waist had become suffocating. He couldn't blame her, and he tapped her hands to let her know that everything would be fine.

She seemed to realize that he was uncomfortable because her arms sprang free of him, and apologies spilled from her lips. He didn't hear them though, his mind buzzing with the enormity of the task ahead of him.

The Museum's edifice was almost as old as Hogwarts Academy. The bricks were cracked, their color fading from too many hours of baking in the sun. Plans for a newer building were in the making, but Sirius didn't mind the homely look of the current one. It reminded him of days lazy summer days, and laughter, and warmth.

As he helped Lily down from the motorcycle, she said, "I didn't know you liked art that much."

He told her, "My mother used to bring me here all the time, when I was younger." Taking her hand, he led her inside, paid for their entry at the front desk, and walked purposely through the corridors.

Paintings lined each wall, magnificent in their own way. Some were simple – the drawing of a hand, the painting of a bowl of fruit – while some were large and grand masterpieces of Royal Palaces and famous people. Abstract pieces were present too, and sculptures of every size and color were displayed on their podiums on every floor. Beneath each work of art, there was a small brass inscription which held the title of the piece, and the name of the artist.

Lily was fascinated, as a lover of art herself, but she did not get a chance to admire their surroundings because Sirius ploughed ahead with a sole destination in mind. She had to hurry to keep up with him.

They came to a smaller room, and stopped before a portrait, that was neither large nor impressive. In the photo, two boys had been painted, both wearing school uniforms of pale gray overcoats and red ties. The picture was very detailed because even the crest of whatever academy they studied at, had been drawn with perfect accuracy.

The boys were laughing, both of them so beautiful that it stunned her. Looking at the picture, she could almost hear the sounds of their laughter in the room. She had never seen Sirius ever look so carefree, so unguarded…so _happy_.

She heard herself say, "That's…"

"That's me," Sirius said, quietly, with a nod. He had stuffed his hands in his pockets so that she wouldn't see how much they were shaking. His eyes were glued onto the picture as well, particularly on the painted face that wasn't his.

Whoever had drawn the portrait had captured Sirius brilliantly. It looked just like him…

Somehow, Lily knew that her next question was the one that Sirius was dreading. "And…the other boy?"

Sirius reached up a hand as if to touch the painting of said person, but let his fingers hover, almost reverently over it. "This…this is James," he said, and when he spoke, his voice was so full of sorrow that a lump came to Lily's throat.

James.

He was every bit as handsome as Sirius, with a round face and dark hair that was messy as if he had just rolled out of bed. His eyes, behind glasses, seemed to sparkle. Somehow, he seemed more reserved than Sirius, yet at the same time, more mischievous. Ripping her gaze away from their handsome faces, Lily bent to read the inscription written on the brass plate.

**Genuine Gemini**.

"By Lucretia Prewitt. _The _Lucretia Prewitt?" She could not believe Sirius had ever been drawn by such a well-known artist. No wonder the painting was astounding.

"She always signed her art with her maiden name," Sirius said, with a shrug. "My mother always told me it was because her old habits died hard."

"Lucretia Prewitt is your mother?!"

"Was," he corrected, with yet another shrug. "Don't sound so surprised, Lily."

She couldn't help but remember the picture of the Clock Tower that she had given him. It must have looked like chicken scratch next to this! "I can't help but feel embarrassed," she admitted. "My artwork is nothing compared to hers."

He reached out to touch her shoulder. "Hey, what are you talking about? Your artwork is amazing. It's not about what the person paints – it's about how they paint it. You'd be surprised by how much emotion a picture can express."

Lily jerked her head toward the painting on the wall. "This painting is proof right here," she said. "I'm sorry about your mother," she added.

"We all knew it was coming," Sirius told her, quietly. "She passed away two months after she painted this."

"Genuine Gemini," Lily read aloud. Her mind flashed back to the pendant and apprehension washed over her. Was James…? "Y-you have a twin?" she asked, unable to ask her original question.

"In a way," he said, a faraway look in his eyes when he scanned the painted figure of James once more. "We grew up together – born on the exact same date, two minutes apart, in the same hospital and everything. Because of that, the doctors called us twins."

Lily looked back at the painting as Sirius spoke. "We did everything together. We were never apart – I suppose you could say that we were twins in every way. Our mothers were the best of friends, so I would always be spending time at his house, or vice versa.

"When his parents died when we were little, he came to live with my family. He was my best friend. My brother."

Lily didn't say anything, letting Sirius relive his memories. It was obvious to her that James was no longer around, and it seemed to crush at him. "I've lived…every day in regret…" he whispered, and if that statement was directed toward her or the picture of James, she wasn't sure. He looked down at his hands. "Every time I see myself, all I can see is the picture of a murderer."

"Wh-what?"

"You wanted to know the truth, right?" She drew in a breath as he turned haunted eyes to her. "The truth is, he's dead. Because of me. I…I killed him, Lily. I killed James.

"But that's not the worst part about it," he forced himself to continue. This was it, no turning back. She would see the monster in him, at last. He threw caution to the winds and jumped. "The worst part about it, was that I enjoyed his suffering."

* * *

**I'd gladly take the fall **

**Because it's much easier than taking the leap.

* * *

**

"In the middle of class?" Remus asked, dumbfounded.

"Yeah, so I was hoping that if you saw him later, you could give him Evans' homework. I know he'll pass it along to her," Tonks said, waving the notebook, emphatically.

He took it impatiently from her, wanting to stop the incessant waving and to find out more about what happened. "Did they say where they were going?"

Today, Tonks wore a long-sleeved sweater, which would have looked normal save for the random splatters of color that seemed to stain the front of it, not to mention the fact that it was several sizes too big for her. Her pink hair had been tied up so that it stuck up in a little tuft that bobbed when she shook her head.

Remus sighed inwardly. "All right. Thanks, Tonks. I'll be sure to pass this onto him if I see him around."

She grinned, happy that she had had an excuse to talk with him. She wanted to say more, but he was already turning his back, toward his group of friends who were waiting at the door for him.

Bellatrix, who sat in the row across from Tonks, cleared her throat, causing the latter to turn. "Yes?"

"It's disgusting how you drool over him like that," Bellatrix said. "It's even more disgusting how he doesn't see it – or perhaps he does and chooses not to comment on it."

Indignantly, Tonks leaned toward her. "I have an idea, Lestrange. How about you mind your own business?"

Bellatrix rolled her eyes. "I honestly don't understand how you girls are just so afraid to admit your feelings. Just tell him already. Better yet, why don't I tell him for you, so that you'll know how he feels about you? Heaven help him if he can stand your fashion sense."

Before Tonks could answer, Bellatrix hurried away, calling out to Remus, knowing that Tonks would not dare to follow.

Remus, already partway out the door, stopped and turned. "Yeah?" His fellow teammates turned too, respectfully keeping their distance from the sharp-tongued beauty as she drew near. Her icy demeanor was well-known to almost every guy in the school (because they had all tried their hand at getting her to date them).

"What are you doing later tonight?"

At his confused expression, she pressed, "I know a great place we could go to."

"Huh?"

She placed her hand on her hip, wondering if everyone at the Academy was born stupid. "A _date_, Lupin. I'm asking you out."

Face reddening, Remus felt his mouth open of its own accord. And from her seat in the classroom, Bellatrix was glad to note, she could see Tonks' mouth do the same thing.

**To be Continued…

* * *

**

**AN**: A little longer than most of my chapters – I got a bit carried away. For those of you who are wondering why Sirius was so apprehensive to tell Lily the same thing he told Remus (see Ch. 8 in case you've forgotten): well, he's never told anybody that he had a sadistic pleasure in seeing his brother die. Or the sadistic pleasure of being the one to do it. Does this make sense now?

Examination period has started. I hope that I can come out with another chapter before the year ends, but let's keep our fingers crossed because there is much studying left to be done. Do be kind and review.

Until the next chapter,

-P.P.V.V.


	16. Inferences

**GENUINE GEMINI by: P.P.V.V.**

_Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim applies…all original characters are mine to claim.

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_

**AN:** I'm happy to see that people enjoyed the last chapter. I hope you enjoy this one, too. Thanks for waiting.

Onward.

* * *

_Previously: _

"_I've lived…every day in regret…" Sirius whispered, and if that statement was directed toward her or the picture of James, Lily wasn't sure. He looked down at his hands. "Every time I see myself, all I can see is the picture of a murderer."_

"_Wh-what?"_

"_You wanted to know the truth, right?" she drew in a breath as he turned haunted eyes to her. "The truth is, he's dead. Because of me. I…I killed him, Lily. I killed James._

"_But that's not the worst part about it," he forced himself to continue. This was it, no turning back. She would see the monster in him, at last. He threw caution to the winds and jumped. "The worst part about it, was that I enjoyed his suffering."

* * *

_

**Chapter 16**

**- Inferences -**

He expected her to stare at him in shock.

He expected her to back away.

Hell, he expected her to _run_ away.

What he did not expect was for tears to come to her eyes. He held her gaze, though, knowing that there was no way she could see him as normal again. "I'm a monster," he told her, his voice smoldering.

The tears fell, and he anticipated a slap. He closed his eyes, welcoming it – a small price to pay for the amount of pain he must have caused her with all his secrecy. When none came, he opened his eyes slowly. Maybe she had turned heel at last.

But no.

Lily still stood before him.

Instead of looking at him with hatred or fear, she looked at him with pity.

He didn't know what was worse.

Suddenly, he had the strong desire to shake her. Did she understand what he was trying to tell her? "Heartless," he choked, feeling unbidden tears come to his own eyes. "I'm damned heartless!"

Her hands came out to grasp his. "No!" she cried. "No, you're not!" She forced him to look at her when he tried to pull away. "Listen to me, Sirius," she commanded. When she was certain she had his attention, she said, "You're not heartless. If you were, you wouldn't regret. You wouldn't feel guilty."

Tentatively, he looked back at her, wondering what kind of luck had allowed him to stumble upon such a marvelous creature. It was almost too good to be true; like a dream from which he never wanted to wake. "You…you aren't afraid?"

She shook her head. "The Sirius Black I know is no killer," she said. "I'm having trouble believing it."

"You think I'm lying?"

"Well, no. But at the same time, I can't bring myself to see you doing that to someone you care about."

"Maybe you've forgotten what happened that day with Bellatrix in the restricted section?"

Oh, Lily definitely remembered that. She swallowed the fear at the memory and adamantly shook her head. "I don't think you would have followed through with your threat. And you were only doing that for my sake."

Frustrated, he let out his breath. "Look," he began to say, but she squeezed his hands so that the words died in his throat.

"Do you _want_ me to be afraid?" she demanded.

"I'm starting to think you're abnormal," he said, with a sigh, reaching up to wipe away her tears with the pads of his thumbs.

A ghost of a smile flitted onto Lily's face. "I'm exactly that," she told him, sadly. She turned her gaze to the painting, captured by the carefree-looking Sirius that had been depicted. "I don't think that you could enjoy someone's suffering. You're the type who tries to protect other people from it. You're full of happiness. Only…" she shifted her inspection to James, "…only a part of it has been taken away, and because of that, you feel like you're to blame."

When Sirius did not respond, she noted, "James was certainly handsome."

"I guess so."

"I'll bet he was charming, too."

"Yeah…I'll bet he was..."

"What was he like?"

Sirius eyed the picture too and searched for an answer only to find that he had none to give.

He didn't remember.

She turned to face him again, frowning at the strange look he had on his face – confused, angry and frightened all at once. Then, he started breathing funny, as though he were having trouble, until it escalated into panting.

"Sirius?" Lily asked. "Sirius?!"

The world was tilting.

_White._

"Sirius, what's wrong?"

_He's just got a condition. _

_ Whenever that memory is triggered, he passes out. _

As Sirius stumbled forward, Lily put her hands out to his chest, to stop him. His eyes were unfocused, as though seeing something from far away.

_A smashed vehicle. _

A groan escaped his throat.

Afraid that he'd topple over, she grasped his shoulders and slowly sank to the floor. His hyperventilating had only worsened and she tried to prop him up against the wall. "Take it easy," Lily said. "Try to breathe slowly, out through your lips."

Fighting off the wave of dizziness and despair, Sirius latched onto the sound of her voice in desperation. He could feel her hand on his chest, and he tried to copy the pattern that she set for him, breathing out when it pushed down and breathing in when she eased the pressure.

Slowly, his surroundings came back, but he still concentrated on her voice and the pressure against his chest. "That's it," he heard her crooning, "you'll be okay."

When he was breathing normally enough, Lily peered up at him. "Oh God…Sirius…is it James?"

Sirius trembled at the name, too disoriented to understand what she was asking.

"Remus told me that you black out when you remember something terrible," she continued. "He said it's happened in the past, before."

_…If you found out that he is crazy?_

Sirius was silent for a long while, still trying to regain his senses. As if to be certain that he was breathing properly, Lily put her hand back on his chest, waiting patiently and counting each of his heart beats.

Slowly, his hand came out, over hers. "Memory lapses…trauma," he murmured, at last. "A state of 'false death'," his voice was barely more than a whisper. "The doctors say that it's denial caused by distress.

"Sometimes, I'll wake up somewhere and I won't remember how I got there. Other times, I'll be doing one thing. And the next, I'll be doing something else but I would never know what I did in between. Or, I'll have injuries but I won't remember how I hurt myself." His voice cracked. "My past girlfriends couldn't understand what was going on. They instantly assumed that I was crazy."

Lily said, "And…Lestrange?"

His grip on her hand tightened. "I kept it a secret – safeguarded it. And when I finally thought I could trust someone with the truth, Bellatrix avoided me like I was some sort of plague."

To say that her aversion had hurt him was an understatement.

He had been so devastated that he had been unable to face society for almost two months. Poor John had had the hardest time taking care of him. Only when the man had proposed for him to return to his father's house did Sirius start to come around again. After that, he had made a vow not to trust anyone ever again.

He finally mustered the courage to look her in the eye again. "I'm tired of hiding," he said. "And I didn't want to lie again. Not to myself. And most definitely not to you." He removed his hand from hers. "I'm sorry, Lily..."

Her hand moved to cup his cheek, stroking it gently. "No, I'm the one who's sorry," Lily said. "I forced you to tell me, and I shouldn't have. I was just afraid because when you collapsed in the Dance Studio, I didn't know how to help you.

"I'm scared," she said, "but not because of what you told me. I'm scared because I'm afraid I'll lose you and I don't have the power in my hands to stop it."

Well, she had certainly helped him ward off a fainting spell. "You saved me today. In more ways than one," he added. Somehow, she had also given him relief from the burdens that he had been carrying.

She offered him a watery smile, before leaning in and kissing him.

He returned it, hesitantly at first, and then, just as fervently, pulling her closer to him. Again, he found himself wondering whether he was deserving of such a good fortune. He felt like his heart was near to bursting.

Finally, he broke away, leaning his forehead against hers. "Sweetheart…"

"I love you…" she whispered, in response. His heart skipped a beat with the words. "No matter what your past was, I don't care. Compared to other people, you are innocent."

He was about to ask her what she meant by that, when a security guard came by and spotted the couple. A pair of teenagers alone in the room of an art studio didn't sit well with him. Youngsters were always full of ideas, and were always doing crazy things. These two, to him, didn't look any different. Just last week, a few teenagers had taken it into their heads to try and draw graffiti on the walls of the Art Museum, claiming that it was their contribution to the collections within. "What are you two doing?" he asked, suspiciously.

Lily helped Sirius scramble to his feet. "Sorry, I was feeling a bit peaky so I sat down," he said.

"You were sitting awfully close to the paintings, young man," the guard said, sternly. "Did you read the signs? They ask you not to touch any of the artwork."

"Yes, sir," Sirius said, solemnly, "Sorry, sir."

The suspicious look on the guard's face did not disappear. Instead, his heavy-knitted brows drew further down together. Lily, Sirius noticed, had pulled back, trying to hide herself behind him inconspicuously. "Right then," Sirius cleared his throat. "I guess you want us to get a move on."

This time, the guard narrowed his eyes, trying to decide if the boy in front of him was trying to be a smart ass. "Come on, sweetheart," the boy reached out to take the girl's hand. "We should head back."

"You with a school group?" The guard demanded, as they started to move past.

"No, sir," Sirius said. "We skipped school, today."

His honesty surprised the elder man. Not knowing what to say, he stepped aside as the couple hurried past, not once looking back. Doing a quick inspection of the room, the guard's eyes were drawn to the **Genuine Gemini** painting.

That boy's face stared down at him.

In wonder, the guard turned around, but both Sirius and Lily had already disappeared around the bend.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Sirius concentrated on the road, not wanting to think about anything that had just happened for fear of blacking out in the middle of driving. Lily, thinking along the same lines, did not ask him any more questions.

The wind nipped at the two of them, fiercely reminding them that their destination was not the best place to travel to, especially in the middle of winter. Thankfully, it was not snowing which allowed for the vehicle to run unhindered.

At that time of the day, traffic was practically nonexistent, so Sirius took to the highways freely. The roar of his engine seemed to rip through the crisp air, but after a while, it was not the only thing that could be heard – the sound of waves crashing against rocks soon joined the clamor.

The beach seemed to stretch for ages. Since they seemed to be the only people in sight, Sirius parked his motorcycle on the sand, jumping off and pulling Lily down with him. Together, they sat side by side, a little ways away from the contraption, facing the ocean.

Finally, Sirius spoke. "Three years ago…my condition was so bad that my father had me instated in a Psychiatric Center. He insisted I needed help." His finger drew unrecognizable pictures in the sand. "I don't remember much of it except that I've never felt so caged, so cut off. So…different." His fingers clenched, taking some sand with them to curl in his palms. "It was torture for the first couple of months. I was forced to remember to the point where it was so painful that I could not breathe. Then, I would lapse into a comatose-like state. Somehow, my memories of everything leading up to…that incident…have become erased, or very shady."

Lily began her own squiggles in the sand, using a twig that had washed up onto the shore to sketch away. "Selective memory loss?" she offered.  
He shrugged. "I guess you could say that. The doctors don't know how it happens. I became a favorite study subject." This time, when he shivered, it was not because of the cold. His voice had taken on a bitter tone. "When they realized there was nothing more they could do for me and that my condition was better, they let me go back to school. That's how I ended up here."

Lily drew a circle in the sand and proceeded to add lines protruding outward around it. "Does it…still happen often??"

Sirius hunched his shoulders against a sudden gust of wind, his wavy hair whipping around his face. "No. Only if I suddenly remember. Or, I guess, when something happens that triggers some sort of memory."

"Is there a cure?"

He shook his head. "So far, none that the doctors can see. I was given medication for depression, but I don't really take them." His foot, which had begun twitching, accidentally scuffed her makeshift drawing of the sun. "Lately, I don't need them. I've never been happier." He glanced over to her, meaningfully. "I can't help but wonder for how much longer, though."

Lily dropped the stick and touched his hand. "I told you, I won't leave you."

Sirius twined their fingers together and bent over so that his head rested against her shoulder. He was suddenly so exhausted – he hadn't known how taxing it was to tell the truth. At the same time, he had never felt so free.

Together, they listened to the water, to the whistle of the wind, to each other's breathing. Closely huddled together, they found comfort in each other's warmth. For how long they sat there, they weren't sure. It was only when the sun started to set that they realized they had tarried for far too long.

By the time Sirius had reached the place where he was to drop her off, it was fully dark. From the lights in the surrounding neighborhood's houses, they could see that some families had sat down together for dinner already. He was about to park by the side like he usually did, when Lily called out for him to continue driving.

They came to a stop outside of a two story, red-bricked house. From the outside, it seemed inviting. On the front door, there was a wreath that had been hung, reminding them that within a few weeks, the Christmas holidays would be upon them.

Sirius' breath came out in a cloud when he spoke after lifting his visor to examine it. "This your house?"

Lily slowly undid the helmet and handed it back. "Yes." She did not immediately get off, staring up at the edifice and wishing she did not have to enter it.

Unfortunately, Sirius said, "You'd best go in. At this rate, not only are you late, but you'll probably have a cold."

As if to prove him right, Lily sneezed. He let out a low chuckle and waited for her to disembark before starting his ignition again. She watched him from the curb, and even though her red hair was a mess of tangles around her face, he still thought she was the most beautiful person he had ever laid eyes on. "Thank you, for listening," he said.

"Thank you for telling me."

"I'm still waiting for the proper reaction," he said, with a small shake of his head.

She stepped up to the bike again and gave him a hug.

"That was not the reaction I was talking about," he laughed, setting her back, "but I'm not complaining."

"Good night, Sirius."

"Good night, sweetheart."

He watched from his perch on the bike as she turned and hurried into her house. With a last final wave, she disappeared behind the door. Only when she was safely inside did he turn his bike around and speed away.

* * *

**Pieces of a puzzle**

**Unsolved. Deep within.

* * *

**

Remus tilted the drink from left to right, watching the dark brown liquid slosh in the mug.

Butterbeer.

A loser's drink.

The alcohol in it was next to nothing, but his tolerance level was so low that he didn't trust himself with anything stronger. Besides, he was driving home.

Across from him, Bellatrix mirrored his actions, but her drink was real – Scotch on the rocks. He would never have expected the girl to be able to drink something so hard, but she did, and she was almost finished her second glass.

Overhead, a disco ball spun and flashed off annoying colors. Thank heaven that the actual _music_ wasn't playing. Instead, a jazzy song filtered in through the speakers posted around the room. A couple of people had taken to the small dance floor, and Bellatrix watched them in a lazy fashion.

Her hair had been done in curls and let loose to fall around her shoulders. Despite the temperature outside, she wore a black tube top, a ruffled balloon-like skirt, and heels that looked like they could kill with one kick.

Remus, on the other hand, felt rather idiotic in his black slacks, shirt and tie. He tugged at the last item, loosening it around his neck. Bellatrix caught the action and frowned across the table at him. "Don't tell me you're drunk already," she said, exasperation in her voice.

He scowled. She knew very well that he was sober – there was no way he could possibly get drunk on Butterbeer. "What's the real reason why you asked me out, Lestrange?"

"We're on a date, remember? You can call me by my first name, you know."

He felt his cheeks warm as they had back at the school when she had first announced that she wanted to go out with him. All his friends had been there, no doubt just as shocked as he had been, and they had jabbered and jeered so much that he had agreed to the date just to shut them up. "Bellatrix, then," he said. "I thought you liked Sirius."

Bellatrix wrinkled her nose and let out a short, barking laugh. "Remus. Honestly. Don't think I asked you out because I like you!" Her snigger made his cheeks warm even more. She peered up at him through her long, mascara'd eyelashes. "Or could it be that you accepted because you like me?"

He was sorely tempted to throw his drink in her face. "If you're doing this to get Sirius jealous, it's not going to work," Remus said, tightly, choosing to ignore her biting remarks. "And I don't want him to think that I'm trying to pick up his leftovers."

That caused the sneer to drop from her face as if she had been slapped, and satisfied, Remus leaned back in his seat.

Take that, bitch.

"No," Bellatrix said, putting her drink down with a clink onto the polished table. "I'm not doing this to make him jealous. I know I don't have a chance with him anymore."

"Then why?"

She glared at him. "Honestly, are you blind?" At his blank look, she prodded. "I'm trying to make someone _else_ jealous. Maybe she'll step up to the plate."

Ugh. Girls and their cryptic motives. Remus almost _did _throw his drink at her. Why couldn't they just tell men what they were thinking instead of making them run all over trying to guess? Drawing on the patience that he was known to harbor, Remus forced himself to take a breath and calm down. The girl was probably tipsy and was just out to aggravate him. "So you're saying…you're saying that there's someone out there that's going to be jealous of you because you went out with me?"

"Give the dog a bone!" Bellatrix said, dryly.

"Bellatrix," Remus raised his voice in warning. He was not liking her little game one bit.

She caught his displeasure and took a swig of her drink, draining it so that only a third remained inside the glass. "Tonks is crazy about you, but you obviously haven't noticed," she said, at last.

Startled, Remus repeated. "Tonks? Nymphadora Tonks?"

"One and the same," Bellatrix said.

"Really?"  
"Just thought I'd let you know. The poor girl can't seem to do it herself."

Remus narrowed his eyes. "Since when do you go around trying to play cupid?"

Bellatrix huffed and raised her hands defensively. "I try to do one good thing and I'm instantly at gun point. I don't think that's quite fair."

This time, Remus grinned. He finished off his Butterbeer completely before saying, "Well, you aren't exactly the nicest person, you know. Your head's as big as the moon – it's time for you to come back to earth now, Your Highness."

The blunt way he said it made Bellatrix blink in astonishment. Then, she threw back her head and laughed. "Oh, Remus. You're a winner." Her nails tapped at the glass in front of her. "If only I could have fallen in love with someone like you…"

Remus shook his head and snatched her drink from her when she made to finish it off. At her protesting whine, he kept it out of reach. "Sirius wasn't such a bad guy. And I'm definitely not the someone you're waiting for. You'll find the right person in time. Maybe he'll even be able to stand your brattishness."

She raised an eyebrow and pulled back, forgetting about the drink momentarily. "Brattishness? Is that even a word?"

Remus waved his hand in an impatient manner, a motion that told Bellatrix that he did not intend to dwell on such a petty topic. Instead, he leaned forward, placing her stolen drink in front of him between the safety of his arms where she could not hope to gain it back. "You'll find someone, trust me. As for me," he looked out at the dancers on the floor, "I'll think about what you said."

Tonks was a nice girl. Strange, but nice. Hadn't Lily been considered strange, too? In the end, she wasn't really. Everyone, he supposed, had a right to their quirks.

Bellatrix slumped back into her seat. "If you won't let me have my drink, would you at least water me down?"

Turning his gaze back to her, Remus nodded and flagged down the waiter to do just that. Maybe her alcohol tolerance hadn't been what he'd expected. At the same time, however, he was glad that she was smart enough to know her limits. Because there weren't very many patrons that night, his order was processed almost immediately.

When she had finished off her bottle, he asked, "Are you all right? Do you want to go home, now?"

She shot him an incredulous look. "Home? Already? No way." She got up and moved over to him, grabbing his hands in hers. Surprised, Remus got up when she tugged him to his feet.

"Bellatrix…"

She laughed, and the sound was like bells ringing. As beautiful as it was, he could detect a sense of sorrow behind it. "Let's dance!"

Dance? Dear Lord, he didn't know the first thing about dancing. Still, he let her drag him out onto the floor, where the music still pounded out a quick rhythm and the lights overhead pulsed with the beat.

Abruptly, however, it slowed, toning down to a softer melody, the blinking lights dimming and swirling as she led them toward the middle of the small crowd. When Bellatrix faced him, he realized that there were tears running down her cheeks.

The genteel side of himself leapt forward and he was about to ask her what was wrong when she shook her head as if to stop him. Slowly, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face in the soft material of his shirt.

Nobody seemed to pay any attention to them, swaying to the gentle music, like waves against the shore on a calm, sunny day. At a loss, Remus put his hands to her shoulders, in an almost protective fashion.

Her voice made his grip tighten. "I'm pathetic."

"Don't say that…"

She laughed against her tears. "And you're too nice for your own good." She finally raised her head to look up at him. "Girls might take advantage of you for it, you know."

He let out a quiet laugh of his own. "Take all the time you need, Bellatrix. That's what friends are for."

Friends.

She ducked her head against him again and let him sway her to the music.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Both of them sat under the disapproving frown of Professor McGonogall. Lily's knee kept twitching so nervously that Sirius reached over to put his hand atop it. Immediately, she became stone still, her gaze locking onto it, effectively distracted from her anxiety.

"Relax," Sirius murmured, as he watched the Professor read their letters of apology.

Lily had never had a detention before in her life. There was nothing worse than the feeling of being judged, she decided.

When the Professor finally looked up, Lily was mortified that Sirius was grinning as though this was the most normal thing that had ever happened to him.

Well, perhaps it was.

Lily felt sick to her stomach; hot and cold all over.

"Mr. Black, your apology seems well thought through," the teacher said, sounding slightly amused. " '_I apologize profusely and pledge with my whole being that I will never again pull a student of yours out of your class without having express permission…'_?" She read aloud. One of her thin, brown eyebrows rose on the last word, and despite herself, Lily giggled.

"Doesn't it sound sincere enough, Professor?" Sirius asked.

"Oh, it sounds sincere, all right," remarked the woman, dryly. "It almost sounds toosincere."

"How can an apology sound too sincere?" he demanded.

Professor McGonogall let out an exasperated sigh and waved the page in his direction. "Like _this_, Mr. Black. I'm convinced you either think I'm an idiot or that you've written so many of these that you already have the letter memorized."

Sirius feigned being struck in the chest. "Ouch, Professor. And here I poured my heart and soul into that note. If you don't like it, I'll take it back, thank you very much." And with that, he proceeded to snatch the paper away from her and put on such an adorable pout that even the teacher had to smile.

She leaned back into her seat, folding her hands together over the remaining note on her desk. "I accept your apology, Mr. Black, but anyone can say sorry and but not mean it."

"I really did mean it though, Professor. And I promise I won't do it again."

"Good. See to it that you don't. And Ms. Evans, I suggest that if you want to date this hoodlum, you had best keep him in check or he'll drag you all over the place."

Lily flushed slightly and began to fidget again.

Professor McGonogall turned her attention back to Sirius. For some reason, she could never find it in her heart to truly be upset with him. "And I hope you feel guilty involving other people in your schemes. I'd like to know whatever it is that was more important than class."

The mischievous look disappeared almost immediately from the man's face. "Sorry, ma'am. That's classified."

"Classified?"

"You'd have to kill me first."

The professor looked as though she were torn between wanting to get up out of her seat in indignation at his flippantness, and flying over her desk to shake the answer out of him. Finally, she settled on saying, "Regardless of the reason, you've both earned a punishment."

Lily noticed that Sirius' hand on her knee was clenched tightly into a fist, and it slowly relaxed when the professor did not push the issue.

"How many lines will we have to write?"

Lines? What did he mean by lines?

"I don't require you to write lines," Professor McGonogall said, with a shake of her head.

Sirius leaned back in his seat, flinging his arms on the backrest and slouching. "Was it because you can't think of something long enough for me to write? Don't worry, Professor, I can think of something – and you might even like what you read." And with that, he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Lily gasped when Professor McGonogall took the remaining written apology in her possession, rolled it up and in one quick movement, leaned over her desk to smack it soundly across Sirius' head. He was so surprised that he nearly fell out of his chair. "And just for that, you can have a week's worth of detention," McGonogall cried. She was trying hard not to smile, but it could be heard in her voice.

This time, Sirius collected himself and folded his hands together, pleadingly. "Aw, c'mon, Prof! I was just joking. Joking!"

Lily brought her hand up to stifle another giggle and he cast her a betrayed look. "Whose side are you on, Lils?!"

In response, the redhead shrugged. He got what he deserved.

He stuck his tongue out at her and turned back to the Professor who said, "I've spoken with Mr. Filch and he said he'll be needing help sorting out the back gymnasium and putting it in order, amongst other things."

Once again, Sirius slumped back in his seat, but this time, with a groan. He rolled his head back. "Whaaat? Have mercy – my body isn't cut out for hard labor!"

"That's precisely why I think this is adequate punishment," Professor McGonogall said, a glint of amusement in her eye. "Since you won't tell me what was so important that you had to miss class and take Ms. Evans with you, then you can just show me how sorry you are."

For a moment, Lily feared that Sirius would get angry. She saw his jaw clench and a dark look pass through his eyes, but it was gone so quickly that she thought she had just imagined it. Instead, he got to his feet and began to roll up his sleeves. "All right then. I guess I just can't win with you, can I?"

Satisfied, Professor McGonogall nodded. "An hour after school every day for the week should do, I think."

Sirius whined, "An hour?"

"Did you need more?" McGonogall wondered.

"No…but…!" he spluttered, "We have Winter Finals to study for, and homework to do – and I have extra credit courses…!"

Lily thought that Professor McGonogall had never looked so pleased before. She looked like the Cheshire cat with the way she was smiling so hugely. "Then, may I suggest, Mr. Black, that you get right to work?"

Once outside the classroom, Sirius rubbed at his jaw with his right hand. His other hand swung his book bag lazily back and forth. "It's slave labor, I tell you!" he burst out. "I'm gonna be so doomed…"

Lily reached out to still his swinging hand. "You're not the only one, remember?"

He seemed to remember that she was looped into the mess with him and he turned to her, guiltily. "Ah…look, sorry about this…you don't have to do anything. I can take care of it while you study, or something."

She tugged at his arm. "I can help. And besides, the faster we get it done, the faster we can get some study time in before your finals."

He stopped walking then. "You mean, you're going to tutor me?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Of course, you idiot."

He suddenly jerked her forward into a crushing embrace. "Oh, Lils! Did I mention I love you?"

She laughed and pushed away. "I can't believe I landed a detention."

He switched his book bag to his other hand so that he could hold hers. "It's not going to be all that bad. After all, you have detention with me."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" she demanded.

"It will be fun," he said.

When they reached the gymnasium, it was completely empty. Even the rafters were void of students who usually took it upon themselves to make it a place to hang out during their spare time, or if they wanted to skip class.

Their footsteps echoed against the polished wood floors. For Lily, she had not stepped onto this turf since her first year in the Academy: she was terrible at sports. She was convinced that Madam Hooch had only passed her out of pity. Whatever the case, she was just glad that she did not have to prove any athletic abilities just now.

Sirius led her to the back of the gymnasium where all the equipment for the teams and the sports were kept. Mr. Filch was waiting for them, and Lily thought that his smile was just as greasy as his hair. She felt a shiver of revulsion run through her when he turned it on her. She found herself shrinking behind Sirius again. She completely missed the instructions because she wanted nothing more than for the man to disappear.

Only when she felt Sirius nudge her did she snap out of it. "Hey, are you okay?" he asked.

She realized she was trembling.

"I…"

"He's gone," Sirius said, knowingly. "And don't worry, I asked him to leave the door open."

Sure enough, the door to the room was thrown back, allowing the gymnasium beyond to be in view. It made her feel loads better. "I told him that we've got to air this place out."

Lily took a calming breath, feeling her heart flutter. How sweet of him to remember her fears. He gave her a knowing nod and stepped over a pile of tangled ropes. "Relax, you're with me, remember?"

She turned her eyes to him, accusingly, as she reached over to pluck a soiled, smelly jersey from the ground. "Yeah…" she groaned. "It's going to be real fun."

**To Be Continued…

* * *

**

**AN:** Despite the fact that I find my time in front of the computer increasingly limited, I managed to somehow make this chapter one of the longest. Strange. In any case, I hope you enjoyed it. The next chapter will be dark and serious – at least, according to my plans. Let's hope they work out the way I want them to. For the time being, please review and let me know your thoughts, or let me know of any questions you might have that I can look to answer in the next chapter. Until then.

Thanks for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


	17. Running Away

**GENUINE GEMINI by: P.P.V.V.**

_Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim applies…all original characters are mine to claim._

* * *

**AN:** I'm sorry I have been so inactive lately. I can't put my frustration to words – literally. Just imagine staring at a blank page for hours on end. Welcome to my writing life! But after much obsessing, I have managed to produce something, which, I suppose, is better than nothing.

Enjoy.

* * *

_Previously:_

_Lily drew a circle in the sand and proceeded to add lines protruding outward around it. "Does it…still happen often?" She was talking about the fainting spells. _

_Sirius hunched his shoulders against a sudden gust of wind, his wavy hair whipping around his face. "No. Only if I suddenly remember. Or, I guess, when something happens that triggers some sort of memory."_

_"Is there a cure?"_

_He shook his head. "So far, none that the doctors can see. I was given medication for depression, but I don't really take them." His foot, which had begun twitching, accidentally scuffed her makeshift drawing of the sun. "Lately, I don't need them. I've never been happier." He glanced over to her, meaningfully. "I can't help but wonder for how much longer, though."_

_Lily dropped the stick and touched his hand. "I told you, I won't leave you."_

* * *

**Chapter 17**

**- Running Away -**

"So, you and Tonks, huh?"

Remus looked up from his notebook, the peals of the bell that signaled the end of class still ringing in his ears, to find Bellatrix leaning casually against his desk, her arms folded beneath her breasts. Her hair was let loose to fall around her shoulders today, in loose waves. Today, she wore no makeup but she was still just as gorgeous as ever. W

When he failed to come up with an answer, she showed her teeth in a grimace. "You're pretty fast."

Remus stood in protest. "It's not like that, Bellatrix."

She ignored him, saying, "You don't have to make excuses."

"I'm not making excuses," he insisted, throwing his books together as fast as possible because she pushed herself away and made to leave. He slung his bag over his shoulder so that it hung open on a weird angle. He didn't even spare the time to zip it closed, running to catch up with her.

The halls were crowded with students who were moving to get to their next classes. However, they scrambled out of the way as Bellatrix pushed her way through them. Remus took advantage of that, keeping as close to her as possible.

People turned to watch as he dogged her steps, calling, "Hey, c'mon, Lestrange, wait up!" When she never responded and continued to move forward, he demanded, "Why are you so upset?"

She stopped so suddenly that Remus almost collided with her. "I'm not upset," Bellatrix said, without turning around.

Grumbling beneath his breath, something about mood swings, he sighed, "Yes, you are."

This time, she whipped around, her dark eyes flashing. "I'm not upset," she repeated, in tight tones.

A knowing smile crossed Remus' face despite her hostility. "Lestrange..."

"So, we're back to formalities, all of a sudden?"

He returned a single-shoulder shrug. "First-name basis should only be used with mates who aren't pissed off with each other." That garnered him a small smile which disappeared almost as quickly as it formed.

Bellatrix suddenly snapped, "Go mind your own business!" and it took Remus a moment to realize that she wasn't speaking to him, but their sudden spectators. When the nosy onlookers shied away, he turned back to her and demanded, "_Are _you pissed off with me?"

A confused look crossed her face.

Was she?

"If this is about Tonks..." he began, and she scowled at the mention of the other girl's name. Why on earth did she feel so irritated? The thought of Remus chatting with her made her angry.

"She's an airhead," Bellatrix blurted, before she could stop herself.

At Remus' surprised blink, she quickly added, "I just don't like her. Never have. Never will, I suppose."

He gave her a wry smile, and she felt her cheeks get hot. "Just like you harbor such dislike for Evans?"

"I don't like freaks," Bellatrix snipped.

The smile became more pronounced. "Oh, I think you like them but just don't want to be associated with them. You're afraid other people will think you're strange too."

Ouch.

She tried not to wince.

Trying for nonchalance, she responded, "I don't care who you want to hang out with," but she could hear the dislike wrapped thickly in her voice.

"Obviously, you do," he noted.

When she failed to answer, he continued, "You were the one who was so insistent that I talk to her." He was referring to Tonks. "So, I did what you asked – I've made her acquaintance."

_Talk to her, not fall in love with her!_ The thought came so unbidden to her mind that this time around, Bellatrix could not stop her blush. She narrowed her eyes. "No. I was out to make her jealous. I never said anything about talking to her."

...Why was he looking at her like that?

One of his gray eyes was squinted ever so slightly.

"Don't tell me..." Remus said, slowly. "Don't tell me _you're_ jealous?"

Her answer came a beat too late. "Of course not."

"Ah."

He was so infuriating!

Turning her back to him once more, Bellatrix held her head up high. She was about to stalk away again, but Remus reached out to snag her coat. "Bellatrix, relax. You're kind of confusing the hell out of me right now. I just don't want you to be angry over...over whatever it is that you're angry about. If it's something I did, then I'm sorry."

Yep, he was _way_ too nice for his own good: why was he apologizing? Here she was, acting like a bitch without sound reason and yet he was taking it all in stride. He barely knew her, so why was he putting up with all her drama?

"It must be PMS," she said aloud, in answer to her thoughts. "Sorry, Remus. I don't know what came over me. Just forget it, okay?"

She didn't like the feeling that was curling itself in the pit of her stomach at all. It made her anxious and confused.

Apparently, Remus was also very perceptive because he said, "I'm not going to turn into any more of a freak than I already am. Just because I hang out with other freaks and you hang out with me doesn't make you a freak, too." He paused, and then added, "Wow, that's a lot of freaks."

The word sounded strangely funny to her ears now that he had mentioned it so many times. Again, a smile broke out over her teeth unintentionally. A bit of the dread in her stomach eased – for some reason, she was glad of his reassurance: they could still remain friends.

And again, before she could stop herself, Bellatrix said, "Let's go out again, Remus."

He dropped his hand and stared at her. "Are you still on about making Tonks - "

"-To the same place as last time."

Remus let out another sigh. "Bellatrix, I know you don't like her, but aren't you taking it a little too far?"

"You said we could hang out," Bellatrix told him, ignoring his scolding.

He squinted his eyes, suspiciously. He appraised her quickly, trying to read behind the cold gaze she was staring at him with. Who knew the workings of a woman's mind? Just trying to unscramble this little mystery was already making his head spin. What was with girls and their obsession with their image? "Are you always this selfish?" He asked, at last, and from the way Bellatrix's chin jutted out defiantly, he could tell that he hit a chord.

She wasn't over Sirius yet.

"If you needed a friend, why didn't you just say so?"

Bellatrix flipped her hair with her hand, and the motion drew several eyes to her. She was used to having people stare – loved it, even – but she didn't notice this time around. She had to hand it to Remus – he was seeing straight through her facade. Unfortunately, she didn't feel a bit remorseful for her attitude. She liked getting what she wanted, and she would play dirty if she had to.

"Help me," she said in a low voice, almost a whisper.

His disapproving look smoothed itself out into one of understanding. "Seven, tonight," he answered. "I'll pick you up."

She nodded. "Thank you, Remus."

If he heard her, she had no idea, because he was suddenly looking at his watch. "Fuck," he groaned, "I'm late again! Professor Cadus will wipe the floor with me!" And without even excusing himself, he dashed away, his open bag flapping behind him as he ran.

Bellatrix watched him leave and only when he had disappeared down the hall did she realize that she was standing right in front of the men's lavatory. Some men were hovering around, uncertain whether or not they should ask her to move, or if they should just push her out of the way. All of them seemed terrified to even talk to her.

She forced herself to move forward, not bothering to apologize. Despite the fact that she was surrounded by so many people, she never felt so alone. A part of her realized that no matter how popular she was, she was really just as isolated as someone like Lily.

Maybe that's why she could not find it in her heart to hate the girl.

Truth be told, she found herself in awe of the redhead's courage.

A flash of pink caught her eye, and she followed it with her gaze, seeing Tonks standing a few feet away. There was no doubt that the girl had seen her whole exchange with Remus. Her thin lips were pursed in what could only be dislike.

Well, Bellatrix mirrored the feeling.

Just because Remus was friends with her didn't mean Bellatrix had to be.

Maybe when hell froze over.

She lifted her chin again, and strode forward, looking past Tonks as though she didn't exist.

Tonight, she would force herself to move on.

Tonight, she would run away from her problems.

Again.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Laying down the pile of gym mats the she had taken the time to lug over to the corner, Lily sighed and brushed her hands clean. It was their last day of detention - they had done a pretty good job cleaning the back of the gymnasium up. Sirius had done most of the heavy lifting, especially when it came to the lighting equipment and the poles for some of the sports.

He was moving some of them right now, actually, the muscles in his forearms flexing as he tried to pry the poles apart from one another. His face was puckered in a frown of concentration, little beads of sweat dabbed his forehead; his hair, which normally framed it was pulled back into a half-pony tail. She decided she liked the look.

"Done staring?" he teased, and she jumped, guiltily.

"I...uh..."

He laughed softly, grunting toward the end as he successfully managed to pry a pole loose. "Go ahead and look all you want."

She was glad that the lighting in the back room was rather dull, because she was certain she had turned as red as her hair. Quickly, she turned and gathered up a stray volleyball. Again, she heard him chuckle. "Aw, sweetheart, you're so cute when you get all shy."

Lily hunched her shoulders and moved to put the volleyball onto the rack with others that she had lined up. "I can't help but wonder," she said, "why would someone like you want to be with someone like me?"

Sirius stood and propped the pole against his body. He had taken off his sweater and wrapped it around his waist sometime during their clean up so that a rumpled, rather tight black shirt was revealed. It hugged his frame just enough for her to see that he was more defined than she had thought him to be. He was, in a word, beautiful. Weren't people like him and Bellatrix only supposed to exist in fantasies?

As it had done once before, the thought that he would make a wonderful model crossed her mind. "Someone like me?" he repeated, interrupting the inner drooling of her mind.

"You're...too perfect..." Lily murmured. Before Sirius could so much as scoff in response, she blurted, "I want to draw you."

He almost let the pole go. "What?"  
Keeping one hand on the volleyball she had just deposited on its shelf, Lily repeated, "I want to draw you."

"You want to draw me? Like, a picture?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "Yes, Sirius. A picture. I want to paint you."

He bent down and tried to gather up another pole. "So...you want me to be your model?"

"Your mom used to paint you, right? I want to capture you the way she did."

He didn't answer. Instead, he lifted both poles and began to stack them against the wall next to the others he had already managed to lean there. Lily watched as he returned to the pile on the floor.

"I'm not entering it into a contest or anything," Lily told him, coming over to help him separate the poles. "But then...it's okay if you don't want to."

"It's not that I don't want to," he said, "but I'd feel all self-conscious and stuff. Besides," his voice sounded much too cheerful, too forced, "I don't think I'd make a very good subject piece."

Lily rolled a pole back and forth before trying to lift it. He reached over to take it from her, and she noticed he was avoiding her gaze.

Ah.

Another secret.

Smoothly, he rose to his feet and was about to move toward the wall when she quietly asked, "It brings back bad memories, doesn't it?"

In response, Sirius fumbled and fell and all the poles he had neatly managed to stack, crashed down to the floor. The sound was enough to make Lily's ears ring. "Sirius!" she called.

"I'm okay!" He assured her, getting to his knees. She was at his side in a moment, helping him to stand. He sighed, seeing the mess he had made, and she put a hand to his back to help steady him. He'd have to start all over again.

Sensing his frustration, Lily suggested, "Maybe we should stop for the day. We've already done enough."

He massaged his wrist and reluctantly let himself be led over to take a seat on the floor mats she had been dealing with earlier. She then proceeded to skip away to grab their water bottles that they had stuffed in their book bags. As she handed him one, he took her hand and tugged her to sit down next to him. "I'll do it," he told her.

She made a questioning sound and he said, "I'll model for you."

"But..."

"On one condition," he said, not letting her finish her protest.

"You want me to give you the finished product?" Lily guessed.

"No. I want you to come with me to the Christmas Feast."

Lily nervously twisted the cap to her bottle. He was inviting her to a party? She had never been to one in her life. Parties meant people, and she had always avoided them because of that.

He was chattering excitedly though, once more interrupting her thoughts. "I actually got an invitation, can you believe it? I was so sure that that doddle-head Dumbledore wouldn't give me one just to spite me."

She tried to think up an appropriate excuse, but his hopeful expression was enough to make the words die before they could be formulated. She remembered what he'd told her about spending three years in a mental institution and couldn't blame him for his eagerness. She was fairly certain that he had not participated in after school activities voluntarily. From what she had seen so far, he only ever played sports if there was any money involved.

She wrapped her fingers over his in response, and he gave her a serious look. "I'm telling you now, I don't do nudity – implied or otherwise."

"That's all right, you can keep your clothes on," Lily said, flushing and withdrawing her hand from his. "Who knows, I might be inspired to draw you Picasso-style."

"Are you implying that I'm a blockhead, Miss Evans?"

"No, I'm _telling_ you that you are, Mr. Black," she shot back, but she searched his face carefully to see if he understood that she didn't mean it. His eyes sparkled with good humor so she relaxed. "I'm just wondering how your mother was able to keep you quiet _and_ unmoving when she was drawing you."

Sirius let out a dramatic sigh and accompanied it with a wave of his hand. "What can I say, I'm a handful!"

At that, she laughed. That's exactly what he was.

"I'll think of something," she said, swinging her foot so that it thumped against the mat with a dull sound. "And anyway, it's not like I'll be able to get started right away. There's still exams and end of term projects to finish. Not to mention pieces for the school bulletin. But maybe we could get together on the weekends and-" she gasped when she was abruptly cut off because Sirius suddenly leaned over and kissed her.

For a moment, she was too confused to do anything but sit rigid, but he gently pulled her closer and her shock subsided. He smelled of sweat mixed in with a husky cologne and tasted of tobacco but she didn't mind. All she could think about was the warm feeling in her chest as she kissed him back.

His fingers crept up to the back of her neck and stroked the fine hairs at the base of her skull. The sensation made her shiver and he deepened the kiss, pushing her back slowly so that the top part of her body was stretched out on the mat beneath them.

His lips moved from hers to kiss her jaw and trace it up to her ear. He continued down to her neck, but the minute he touched her collarbone, Lily jerked forward, the warm feeling in her chest turning abruptly to ice.

Her hands came up to push him away. Surprised, Sirius sat up, asking, "Lily?"

She followed him up, breathing hard. "I-I...Sirius..."

"What's wrong?"

She realized that she was shaking and that she had crossed her arms around her chest, in a protective fashion. She forced herself to smile, and she hoped that in the darkness, he would be convinced. "What if someone sees us?"

"Well then, let them see," Sirius said, reaching out for her again, but she flinched away and he took that as a hint that she did not want to cuddle any more.

"We still have to study," Lily told him, jumping off the mat. "We'll run out of time."

He stayed on the mat, watching her, confusedly.

Lily seemed jumpy and nervous. Well, he hadn't meant to take it that far. So she didn't want to make out – he could respect that. She probably hadn't kissed anyone before in her life. Still, he could not help feeling a bit disappointed as he followed her lead and hopped down from the mats too.

She turned at the doorway to look over her shoulder at him.

His frustration vanished almost instantly.

She needed time.

He could wait.

* * *

**Where exposure is painful**

**Darkness is always welcome**

* * *

Charlie bent over the bike he was fixing, triple checking the screw he had just tightened. Just for good measure, he reached out to tug at it before leaning back on his heels.

Across from him, lounging against another motorcycle, was Amos. In one hand he held a magazine and in the other, a sandwich that looked to be as long as his arm - knowing Amos, though, he wouldn't be full even after eating three of those.

Twisting around so that he could change tools, Charlie caught sight of the magazine. "So it's true, is it?"

Amos didn't pause in his chewing. "Hm?"

"That Donovan Verovich is recruiting?" The front page was splattered with large lettering that sported the juicy tidbit of news and under the heading was a picture of said man, sporting his usual tight leathers.

Amos swallowed and demanded, "You think it's a rumor?"

"You know how reliable the tabloids can be."

Amos thought about that for a moment before shrugging and ripping a huge chunk of the sandwich off with his teeth. He gobbled the sliver of food as though he had not eaten anything for weeks.

Seeing that he was not going to get a comprehensive answer out of him, Charlie turned back to his work, picking up a bolt and beginning to apply it to the motorcycle he was working on. He was almost finished with the minor repairs on this bike so he was fairly certain he could get started on another bike before the day ended. Nothing made him happier than tinkering with the machines – nothing beat the fact that he made a living doing it either. At first, he had done it for fun, but as more and more people had come to him for repairs, he eventually opened a business from it. Granted, it was still small and very young, but there was never a shortage of work to be done. Once he had a chance, he was going to hire someone to help him.

He eased himself onto his back and moved underneath the motorcycle, saying, "If it _is_ true, then maybe he'll be looking to find some potentials in this town."

Amos stopped eating long enough to say, "Apparently, he's looking to replace three people."

Surprised, Charlie repeated, "Three?"

"According to this, three of his originals contracted themselves somewhere else and Donovan is refusing to take them back."

Charlie let out a whistle that sounded a bit muffled from his position under the bike. "I'll bet there is a lineup of hopefuls."

"Looks like it," Amos agreed, turning the page. "Maybe we'll get to see some really good races since he's around."

"I hope they get good business for me while they're at it," Charlie said, happily.

"You're not gonna try out?"

The redhead snorted. "And embarrass myself? You've got to be kidding."

Amos didn't respond for a long while, and over the sound of metal scraping against metal, Charlie could hear the sounds of his friend snarfing away at his sandwich once again. By the time Amos did decide to speak, Charlie was already finishing up. "I don't think anyone is qualified to get on Donovan's team from around here."

Wiping his hands on a rag he wore at his belt, Charlie said, "Who knows? There might be someone he'll find interesting."

"You're talking about Sirius, aren't you?"

"Don't you think he's good material?"

"I wouldn't know, I've only ever seen him race once and that was a joke round," Amos said, coming to his feet. He put the magazine down onto a table next to a spare tire and moved toward another bike that was waiting to be repaired. Running his meaty fingers over the bike's seat, he added, "But I think if he was serious, he'd probably be really good."

Charlie joined him at the bike, still rubbing his hands against the rag absently. "Even if Sirius was recruited, he'd never do it. He's so against the idea of racing, Verovich would just be wasting his time trying to -"

"-Excuse me."

Both men looked up to see who had interrupted their conversation. The words had been polite, spoken with a quiet voice that seemed to ring with a confident quality.

Standing at the doorway to the small shop, was a man with dark hair and equally dark eyes. Under his arm, he had tucked a helmet and he was sporting the same leather gear that he had in the photos on the magazine cover.

"H-holy shit!" The words were out of Charlie's mouth before he could stop himself. Amos was so stunned that he actually stumbled back as though he had been caught doing something illegal. Neither of them could believe their eyes – Donovan Verovich in the _flesh?_

Don blinked twice before taking a step inside. "Sorry to interrupt," he said smoothly, seemingly unaffected by the way the younger men were gaping in disbelief at him, "but I've just come to town and I heard locals get their repairs done here."

He looked around at the small shop while he waited for a response. The one with flame red hair and a bone earring finally piped up. "Y-yes...repairs are done here, but..."

"I must have gotten the wrong place," Don said, interrupting Charlie yet again. "This place doesn't look very professional at all."

Charlie felt a twinge of anger at the obvious insult but he was too shocked to act on it. Instead, he feebly protested, "It's a small shop, but I'm good at what I do."

This time, the dark eyes zeroed in on him, and he had to flinch when Don took a step toward him. "You? You're the owner?"

Again, that twinge of anger nicked at him but Charlie repressed it because a feeling of shame washed through him. "I know it's not much, but..."

Don interrupted him yet again. "But you're a kid."

"So what if he's young?" Amos asked, clearly overcoming his uneasiness. He was much better at expressing his anger than Charlie was, that was for sure.

The elder man was not ruffled at all by Amos' outburst. "Sorry. Didn't mean to offend – can't help being skeptical." He began to examine the bike that Charlie had just finished, circling it twice, slowly, checking things over. "Looks like you did a good job here. What was wrong with it?"

Charlie warily answered, "Fixed its rotors – had to replace its carb entirely."

"Do you custom make your fenders?"

"I just do repairs. If you want to have custom fenders, a friend of mine deals in them."

"I wouldn't mind looking into new ones. Does your friend take requests?"

Charlie shrugged. "I don't know how Sirius gets his parts, but I'm sure he could arrange something for you if you asked."

Don kept his face neutral. "I'd like to see them first before I place an order. I'm very particular about my motorcycle."

At that, the redhead nodded in understanding. "Aren't we all?" He moved around to one of the many tables that lined the walls. Most of them were filled with odds and ends – tools, parts, and loads of paperwork. Despite the way everything was placed upon it in a jumbled manner, there was a peculiar order to it. "I can give you his number so you can contact him, if ever," Charlie offered. "Like I said, I'm a repair guy. I can pull apart a bike and fix it right back to the condition I found it in, but I charge extra for parts that I have to order. And I don't order custom." As he spoke, he found one of his simple business cards and a pen and began to scribble Sirius' name and number on the back of it.

Don pocketed the small page without looking at it. "Appreciated. Listen..."

"Charlie Weasely," the redhead supplied.

"Right. Weasely. Listen, if I need repairs, I hope I can trust you to take care of them."

"Of course, Verovich."

Don shook his hand. "Good. I've got your card."

Charlie returned the handshake and watched as the man got ready to leave. He was bursting with questions but he didn't ask because he was too busy trying not to stare at one of racing's most popular stars. Even Amos had clammed up and seemed to be memorizing every detail of the encounter. Most likely no one in their group would believe them, but it would always make for a good story at the very least.

They heard the start of the motor and the roar of an engine.

As Don sped away, he fingered his pocket where Sirius' number was safely nestled.

That had gone better than he had planned. He had only wanted to drop by and see if Sirius was at the repair shop. He had been rewarded with something much better.

He ducked his head closer to his vehicle as he sped up, grinning.

Sirius could run and hide, but not forever.

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

**AN: **I am very grateful to everyone who has encouraged me to keep writing. Thank you for your reviews, your emails, your support. When life stops getting in the way, I'll do my best to come up with the next chapter. Follow me on Twitter for status updates, if you want. Oh, and please do review and let me know your thoughts! Until the next installment,

thanks for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


	18. Bound to Complications

**GENUINE GEMINI by: P.P.V.V. **

_Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim applies...all original characters are mine to claim.

* * *

_

**AN:** This next chapter is quite a journey. Inspiration can slap someone in the face quite unexpectedly. Behold, the product. Enjoy. Move on with caution.

* * *

_Previously__: _

_The redhead found one of his simple business cards and a pen and began to scribble Sirius' name and number on the back of it._

_Don pocketed the small page without looking at it. "Appreciated. Listen..."_

_"Charlie Weasely," the redhead supplied._

_"Right. Weasely. Listen, if I need repairs, I hope I can trust you to take care of them."_

_"Of course, Verovich."_

_Don shook his hand. "Good. I've got your card."_

_Charlie returned the handshake and watched as the man left._

_As Don sped away, he fingered his pocket where Sirius' number was safely nestled._

_That had gone better than he had planned. He had only wanted to drop by and see if Sirius was at the repair shop. He had been rewarded with something much better._

_He ducked his head closer to his vehicle as he sped up, grinning._

_Sirius could run and hide, but not forever.

* * *

_

_**WARNING, WARNING, WARNING**_: this chapter contains scenes of explicit sexual violence. Reader's discretion is advised. Please remember the rating is M and proceed if and only if you are mature enough. You have been warned.

* * *

**Chapter 18**

**- Bound to Complications - **

It was late again.

The neighborhood seemed to be settled down for the night when Sirius and Lily pulled up to the curb outside of her two story house. The porch lights were not on, which made it seem gloomy and deserted compared to the rest of the houses on the street.

Despite the fact that the winter season was in full swing, there was hardly any evidence of it on the ground. Whatever snow had fallen did not care to linger on the sidewalks, which suited Lily just fine. She hopped off the motorcycle onto the relatively dry ground and reached up to kiss Sirius goodbye.  
It had become a habit over the course of the last two weeks, one that she was quickly getting used to. She would not mind keeping the practice up.

Sirius' lips turned up into a smile against hers and most likely, he was thinking the same thing.

"Go, go..." he breathed, upon parting.

"Will you call me?" Lily asked.

"You know I'm not supposed to use a cell phone while I'm driving," Sirius reproved. "It's dangerous."

Her pout was so adorable that he laughed. "I'll call you even before you reach your front steps," he promised, bending down to kiss her again. "Now, really, go. It's late. I've kept you again and it's cold."

Well, of course he would be: he was wearing dark, fitted leathers that weren't very practical in the weather conditions. Still, it couldn't be denied that he cut a rather menacing figure. He probably didn't care that most people thought him to be a thug, another traffic violator; another kid who brought misery to the society.

But Lily knew firsthand that those allegations were nowhere near the truth. She was tired of prejudice: she didn't care what other people had to say. To her, Sirius was like water to a person dying of thirst; like sight to a blind man.

Her hope against the despair in her life.

Obediently (and reluctantly), Lily stepped back and turned to her walkway.

True to his word, Sirius called only seconds after he had sped away.

Relief was almost instantaneous when Lily heard his voice on the other line. "Hi," she greeted.

Again, he laughed. "Sweetheart, you sound as if we haven't heard from each other in a long time."

Wistfully, she answered, "I miss you already," while eyeing her front door in resignation. Oh, if only he knew how much she missed him...

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yes."

_For now._

Even though it was freezing outside, she found she was in no hurry to get inside the house. Her breath rose in a cloud of mist before her face.

"You don't sound so good," his voice was a bit muffled, but that might have been because of the way his engine seemed to roar behind him. "I hope you don't get into trouble."

Lily shook her head, even though he wasn't able to see her. "I'm more worried about you," she said, trying to lighten the subject. "You're the one who's driving without a helmet right now."

He chuckled, and there was a bit of static on the line when he did. "The things I do for you, Lily."

She reached the door at last and pulled her bag around so that she could rummage through the pockets and get her keys. Her hands were numb with cold and caused her to drop them twice before she could actually get the right one to fit into the keyhole. Now, she wanted to get out of the cold as fast as possible, so she quickly entered the house and eased the door back with her foot while speaking, "There are only two more units to review. After the Christmas Party, I'm sure we can go over those in time for the Finals."

"Or we could forget about them all together," Sirius offered, and Lily could practically see him smiling hopefully in her mind's eye.

She had just finished removing her boots when she realized that she had not closed the door properly. As she made a move to close it, though, she felt a hand fist itself within her hair and yank. Surprised by the sudden pain, she yelped and almost dropped the phone.

"Lily?" she heard Sirius demand, while at the same time, a voice from behind her hissed, "You're late."

Fear hit her like a lightning bolt, making her breath catch; funny how she wasn't used to the feeling despite the fact that she felt it so often. But this was not the usual fear that made her run cold – it was spiked with the dread that Sirius was on the other line and could probably hear everything that was going on. Keeping her voice as calm as possible, she muttered into the phone, "I'll call you back later...okay?"

"Lily? Is everything okay? Are you all right?"

Lily's lip trembled but she forced her voice to stay steady. "I'm fine. I've gotta go..."

Sirius must have stopped his motorcycle because the roar of the engine suddenly cut off mid-rev. "All right, but..."

She didn't wait for his answer, hanging up abruptly.

It was a good thing she did, too, because the fist in her hair was not ready to let go. Instead, it pulled her head back more viciously, making her cry out again. "Who was that?" Her Uncle demanded.

"N-no one," Lily stuttered, her hands moving up to try and loosen his hold in a vain attempt to relieve herself of the pain.

Her Uncle, however, was so enraged that he threw her back, not caring that she tripped over her boots, or that she landed painfully against the floor bringing newspapers that had been stacked neatly on the side, down with her. "I told you to come home straight after school!" he shouted. When he did, Lily could smell the alcohol on his breath.

It didn't surprise her, but it did serve to terrify her.

Suddenly, she wished that he had brought his friends over just so that she could avoid the hurt that his livid eyes promised to deliver. At least, he was not as brutal when there were others around. Her heart hammered in her chest and her breath came in pants. "Please..." she heard herself whimper.

Maybe she should have kept her mouth shut because that one word seemed to put him over the edge. His slap made her vision go white with shock. "Who were you on the phone with?" he demanded, shaking her. "Was it your boyfriend?"

She tried to focus her gaze onto him, but he slapped her again, making her eyes shut as she winced in pain. "Do you think I'm stupid?" he raged. "You've been sleeping with that motorcycle-riding jockey, haven't you?"

In a different situation, Lily would have found that conclusion rather amusing. Why was that the first thing on every guy's mind? But the question went clear out of her head as her Uncle forced her to her feet, and shoved her into the living room. The situation was definitely not amusing – in fact, it was quickly getting out of hand.

He was like a wild beast, falling upon her with a vengeance. Lily quickly found herself trying to fend him off, but to no avail. He was strong...too strong. He had her pinned down in moments, bruised and bloody the next.

She couldn't help her tears or her screams as he landed blow after blow upon her. He cursed and shouted, and through her pleas for him to stop, she could hear herself apologizing.

Anything.

Anything!

So long as he would stop!

"Don't lie to me, bitch!" He shouted, bringing up a fist to punch her in the gut. It made her curl in on herself and the breath leave her lungs. "Don't think I don't see you riding behind him every day after school!"

Dimly, Lily fought another wave of panic. She hadn't meant for her Uncle to find out that she had a boyfriend – she could see several situations flash before her eyes.

Sirius finding out the truth.

Sirius getting hurt by her Uncle's thugs.

Sirius getting hurt by her lies.

She decided that the last situation was the worst.

Again, all thoughts flew out of her mind when her Uncle suddenly straddled her, his weight uncomfortable around her legs and waist. "Do you ride him from behind often?" he asked, huskily, bringing his lips down to mush against her wet cheeks.

In disgust, Lily turned her head from him, feeling a wave of revulsion run through her.

Perhaps her Uncle took that as pleasure, because he dragged his lips lower so that it traced her neck. Her breath was hitching in her throat as she realized where this physical assault was being taken.

His voice was a drunken purr. "Do you like riding people from behind?" She felt him ripping open her shirt, tugging impatiently at the material that hid her from him. She brought her arms up to try and cover herself, but his right hand caught both of her wrists with practiced ease, pinning them above her head like steel locks.

She was aware of the fact that she was begging him to stop, but he wasn't listening. She twisted, kicked, arched in an attempt to free herself but she knew that no matter how hard she struggled, it wouldn't do any good.

Dread wormed itself into her blood as she felt his hands on her, greedily touching every piece of exposed skin he had managed to uncover.

And then, he was unzipping her pants, removing her underwear, and his left hand reached down to stroke her. His words became blurred – all Lily could think of was that revolting touch to go away. Involuntarily, she shivered, and it seemed to spur him on even more.

His kisses rained down on her, his teeth marked her skin, but those sensations were lost to her as his hand continued to explore her core, stroking her roughly to the point of pain.

Her eyes squeezed shut.

She knew what would happen next.

One thought prevailed over all the rest when he finally straddled her again. He entered her forcefully, causing her to grunt against the fresh wave of pain that radiated to her groin; all the way up her hips and down to her toes.

_Sirius..._

**0-0-0-0-0**

Sirius stared down at his phone, frowning.

Huh.

That was weird.

Lily had sounded almost anxious.

That was the first time he had ever heard her use that tone of detached voice. It dawned on him that it could only mean one thing: she was in trouble.

Guilt reared its ugly head to look pointedly at him in accusation. If he hadn't insisted that she tutor him, then she wouldn't have gotten home so late. He was certain she was getting yelled at because of him.

He waited for a moment, contemplating calling her back.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when a car behind him suddenly honked. The sound was so loud that he was momentarily rendered deaf. Baring his teeth and flipping the driver off, Sirius shoved his phone hastily into his pocket and hurried to get his stalled vehicle out of traffic's way.

Two blocks later, Sirius pulled to a stop at the curb of a library's parking lot. A couple of students dressed smartly in their black and white uniforms were gathered at the edifice's front door, chatting. They all stopped to stare curiously in his direction, but he didn't give them any more than a moment's glance.

He knew he was being irrational, but something in the way Lily had abruptly hung up on him told him that she was in deeper trouble than normal. There was another nagging feeling at the back of his mind that he could not quite shake.

Reaching behind him, he located his cell phone once again and checked to see if she had called him back.

Nothing.

Maybe she was still being scolded.

Since when had he become so paranoid?

The strange, nagging feeling intensified and he found himself dialing her number for the second time that day.

It rang for what seemed like an eternity before a mechanical recording chirped, "The number you have called does not have a voice mail box that is set up yet. Please hang up, and try your call again."

That was definitely weird – if the phone was on, he knew Lily to answer at the first ring. Any other time, her phone would be off and the recording would come on right away.

_If I wasn't…if I wasn't too timid…_Sirius remembered Lily's sad words to him. He could picture her cowering away under her parents' scolding.

_Maybe I should go back and apologize on her behalf_, he thought. His own promise to her whispered in his mind again. _"Sure! I'll save you from anything that makes you sad; anything that hurts you. I'll be your superhero."_  
Nice superhero he was turning out to be. He was the one who was giving her the problems. Not for the first time since their relationship, he wondered whether or not he was right to loop her into the mess of his life.

Taking a deep breath, he made up his mind: he would not leave her to face the fires alone. After all, she had quietly taken detention with him, put up with his whims and the criticism of everyone they encountered.

This time, he _would_ be her superhero.

Slowly, he pocketed his phone again and reached into the compartment of his motorcycle to retrieve his helmet. He snapped it on quickly and kicked away from the curb, his tires squealing against the pavement. It caused the high school students to glance up again and watch as he tore down the street in the direction he had just come from. If his strange actions confused them, Sirius did not care.

Traffic was not as bad on the way back but it made him impatient all the same: his appearance at her doorstep wouldn't help if the lecture was over.

As he parked outside her house, he managed to pinpoint the nagging feeling in the back of his head.

He was afraid.

Selfishly afraid.

What if her parents did not approve of him and prevented Lily from ever seeing him again?

He didn't think he could bear it!

It caused him to jog up her steps. Once outside her door, he hesitated to consider calling her again but thought best of it: stalling wouldn't help. Just as he was going to push the doorbell, he noticed that the front door was already open. His mind was still registering that when he heard a muffled shout.

He felt like someone shoved a metal spike into his gut at the sound. If there was one thing Sirius had become incredibly attuned to, it was Lily's voice; he had heard her in pain before.

Instinct took over, and, doorbell forgotten (as well as the prospect of knocking), he pushed his way into the already-open house.

Inside seemed strangely familiar – the bitter sweet smell of cigarette smoke seemed to fill the foyer. There was a cluttered mess of newspapers strewn all over the ground right by the front door. Lily's boots were lying haphazardly on their sides.

Funny, he had never thought her to be a messy type. He could still see her disapproving frown at the state of his apartment.

The nagging feeling was back, tugging him forward.

The clutter that greeted him in the foyer seemed out of place as he inched forward. A long, carpeted staircase stared down at him. To his right, there was an entrance to what could only be the kitchen. His attention was not drawn there, however, but to the room to his left where another muffled sound was emitted.

Now, he knew the mess at the front was not normal – it was as though someone had stumbled about and made it... knocking things over accidentally...

They say that in times of absolute fear, one does not notice things. The opposite was happening for Sirius, though: he mentally filed all his observations away carefully and let his fear push him forward.

As he walked, he could hear the sound of flesh hitting flesh, garbled and breathy screams as well as dark, humorless laughter.

Lily's parents...beat her?

The fear turned abruptly to anger. Just because she was late getting home was no cause for violence!

He rounded the corner into the living room to be greeted with a scene that nearly stopped his heart.

There was Lily, sprawled on the ground, her clothes torn, the remains of them littering the ground around her. Above her, driving himself into her with all the force he could muster again and again, was a man. He was heavy set, with dark, dark hair and big burly arms. One of those arms had Lily's hands pinned above her head, while the other pawed at her body like she were some sort of rag doll.

Before he could stop himself, Sirius was moving. "Get off her!" he heard himself scream. He kicked the man so hard that he was certain he heard a crunch: he'd probably broken one of the man's ribs.

His howl of pain only caused Sirius to get angrier. His vision tunneled as he fought back the rage. The man had rolled away, his surprise and hurt causing him to stagger, his pants around his knees tripping him so that he fell when he tried to get up again. "What the - ?" but he could not finish his question because Sirius' knee crashed into his groin. The man's scream must have echoed down the neighborhood. His dark eyes bulged from his gaunt, greasy face. Shock and confusion were written in them.

Taking advantage of the surprise factor in his attack, Sirius grabbed the closest thing he could reach and brought it down against the man's head hard enough to knock him out. A fireplace poker.

The metal vibrated dully with the harsh treatment.

Feeling sick, Sirius hurriedly turned to face Lily, who was trying to sit up. "S-Sirius?"

Running over to her, Sirius knelt next to her. "Come on," he whispered. "We've got to get out of here."

"Sirius...what are you...?"  
But Sirius was not in the mood to answer her half-formed questions. His blue eyes were quickly assessing the extent of her injuries. There was a lot of blood. For some reason, her nakedness made him want to vomit.

She realized, belatedly, that she was fully exposed in front of him. With a cry that was more painful than anything he had ever heard before, she tried to curl up into a ball to hide herself. Her hands, shaking, in fists, moved to cover her breasts much as they had back in the gymnasium's storage room.

The gesture brought back the memory and with a jolt, Sirius made the connection.

_Oh, dear Lord..._

He was torn between wanting to comfort her and turn around and murder the man behind him.

His vision began to turn red.

The small, logical part of his brain tactfully reminded him that he should get a move on. He tried to calm himself down.

Right.

First thing's first: get Lily out of there...out of harm's way.

Just as he had done before in the past, Sirius wiggled out of his jacket and slung it over Lily's bare shoulders. He turned and searched the room for anything else to cover her with and made do with a blanket that was neatly folded on a cream-colored couch.

Every time he touched her skin, she flinched. Not wanting to scare her any more than he already had, he gently said, "I'm going to pick you up, Lily. I'm not leaving you here..." when she didn't answer, he choked back tears and added, "I won't hurt you. I swear..." Still, she did not move, and he glanced behind him at the man, hoping he wouldn't stir. Without further ado, Sirius swept her into his arms, securing the makeshift clothing around her body.

He hurried to slip her boots on her feet by the doorway, before sailing out the door with her. Making his way down the steps to his motorcycle was like walking through a nightmare. At any minute, he feared that the man would get up and run after them.

All the while, Lily was limp in his arms, and he wondered whether she had fainted. Well, he wouldn't blame her if she had. This time, he positioned her in front of him, holding her tight around the waist and he sat behind her. Not bothering with helmets, Sirius kicked off and sped away, not once looking back.

His heart was hammering against his chest, trying to force its way up his throat. He didn't know whether he wanted to scream in rage or start crying. Instead, he pulled Lily closer to him, protectively, and increased his speed.

Driving should have been difficult with her hair blowing in his face and the biting wind, but those things went unnoticed. He had never been so focused before – it was like the other cars on the road were standing still. He blew past them, his motorcycle echoing his inner turmoil, its growl piercing the air.

It seemed even Fate did not want to interfere with his rage, because they did not encounter a single red traffic light on his spur back to his apartment. He half-expected the police to be hot on his trail for breaking every speeding rule in the book – he desperately wanted them to notice. He wanted justice. He wanted to be restrained from going back. If he turned back...he was sure he would do something he'd regret. Unfortunately, the police did not seem to be present where they otherwise should have been monitoring the busy streets.

Because of his exceptional speeding, Sirius made it to his apartment in record time. Somehow, he managed to whisk Lily up the rickety steps and into his quarters, where he gently deposited her on his bed.

Sure enough, the girl was unconscious, shivering uncontrollably. Her face was tear-streaked, looking like little frozen rivers. Fresh tracks rolled down her cheeks, and these he tenderly wiped away. "Sweetheart...you're safe," Sirius whispered, desperately. "You're okay...he won't hurt you any more..."

Her only response was to wake slightly and curl in on herself with a quiet moan. Whether she was aware that he was speaking to her or if she even heard him, she gave no indication. Not knowing what else to do, Sirius moved to wrap her in his blankets to help give her warmth. A part of him knew that hugging her right now would not be very smart. He was loathe to do anything to make her condition worse.

Abruptly, Sirius felt at a loss.

What could he do to make her feel better?

To relieve her of her pain?

A sob in his throat, Sirius found himself fumbling for his cell phone while his feet carried him out of his door and into the hallway.

* * *

**Extinguishing the light is far easier**

**than rekindling the flame

* * *

**

Bellatrix exited, her arms wrapped around her torso in what looked like an uncomfortable manner. Her lower lip trembled and she hesitated on the step as the door closed behind her.

She didn't have to ask what had happened.

Despite the fact that it hadn't happened to her personally, she felt as though she had been included in the assault somehow, and her skin crawled. Unconsciously, she rubbed at her arms as if in an attempt to erase the images that such wounds inflicted.

Sirius regarded her for a moment before asking quietly, "How is she?"

"She's...fuck, Sirius, what happened?"

He avoided her gaze, staring instead at his door with a dark expression. "I...I want to kill him, Belle..."

Bellatrix rubbed at her arms again, feeling goosebumps race up them at the sound of his voice. Carefully controlled anger simmered in his words. She was certain he meant every one of them. "Who...?"

He shook his head. "I don't know who. All I could think of was to get her out of there." He pressed his forehead against the doorway and closed his eyes. "Maybe it was her father. If it was..." he trailed off, his voice cracking in dismay.

"You should call the police," Bellatrix said, "and take her to the hospital."

Sirius finally looked up. "I can't involve the police. You know I have a record with them. They won't believe a fucking word I say." He shoved himself away from the doorway and leaned instead against the wall opposite it. "And you know as well as I do that the hospital is the last place I'm going to go."

"Well, if you won't take her, let me," Bellatrix said. "Her injuries look serious."

He thought about it for a moment before shaking his head again. "No. It's too risky – that man is going to be looking for her, and the hospital's the first place he'll think of. If her injuries really are bad, he'll expect her there."

Bellatrix wanted to argue, but she understood his reasoning. "The police have got to believe you," she said, instead. "The evidence is hard to ignore."

He swore under his breath. The evidence...he was starting to get angry again, and he tried to calm himself down by taking deep breaths. It served to make him angrier, though, as he remembered the time when he had seen an ugly bruise on Lily's arm in class. That was the same day that Professor Binns had ordered him to stay behind and had lectured him about his delinquent ways.

How could he have missed it?

"No," he heard himself say again. "No. I can't take her to the police. If Lily's not willing to talk, then I'd just be making it worse for the both of us."

Bellatrix's perfectly plucked eyebrows drew together in confusion. "What do you mean 'if she's not willing to talk?' If it were me, I'd-"  
"-She's not you, Bellatrix," Sirius sighed. "You know Lily. She's too timid." _And if this has been going on for some time now, then there's no way she'll go to the police now,_ he added, silently. Somehow, he knew that his assumption was correct: this wasn't the first time this had happened to Lily.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt Bellatrix's hand on his and he realized that he had clenched his fists so hard that his knuckles had turned white. "Sirius, calm down," she said, soothingly. "What happened...it wasn't your fault."

He was even more startled when he felt tears come to his eyes. He rubbed them away, and concentrated on breathing properly.

She seemed to want to distract him, because she prattled, "She's sleeping - I've cleaned her up as best as I could. I'm not that good with first aid, but I think she's broken something. I'll drop by with some clothing and supplies if you want..."

"Thank you. For everything. I'm sorry for calling you out like this. For making you see this."

Sirius' phone call had come as a surprise. She had been with Remus at a club, the bass from the speakers so loud that it had drowned out the sound of the music. People hadn't seemed to notice, however, picking up on the beat through it and pulsing backwards and forward to the rhythm that it had set. Their bodies had moved like waves in water – with abandon, crashing against each other – separately, yet strangely, together. She had definitely not expected to be interrupted by the one person she had been trying to forget.

"Sirius..."

"Bellatrix. Please don't tell anyone. I need to figure things out. I need to keep her safe. I need to-"

She cut him off by putting her finger to his lips. "Call me if you need anything else," she said, solemnly. "I've got to go. Remus is probably wondering where I went. He'll start asking questions."

That got Sirius' attention, but he didn't bite the bait. He didn't think Bellatrix had meant to let that slip, so he swallowed his questions and nodded. "I appreciate it, Belle."

She fixed him with a glare. "Stay here," was her command. "Don't mess anything else up, you got it?"

"Yeah."

Yeah, he wouldn't go kill the bastard that did this to Lily.

He wouldn't go anywhere near Lily until she was ready to talk to him.

He was sure she'd fall to pieces – heck, he was sure he would, too.

"Stay here," Bellatrix repeated.

"Yeah..."

She gave him one more warning glare that was suffused with pity before waltzing away. He stared after her, half-wishing she would stay just in case Lily woke up. He knew it was selfish of him to call on Bellatrix the way he had – it hurt the girl to be anywhere near him. It must have hurt her even more to learn that what he wanted from her was to take care of the person he had replaced her with.

Oh, the drama.

He must have spaced out or dozed off because the next thing he knew, he was sitting on the floor in the hallway, his head in his arms that were draped over his knees. His head pounded dully and he was distracted so much by it that he almost missed the fact that someone was talking to him.

Slowly, he glanced up to see John frowning down at him.

"Hey, buddy, what are you doing out here?"

Automatically, Sirius' eyes flicked to the closed door in front of him.

"Got locked out?" John asked.

"...Something like that," Sirius answered.

Forget it: his head was hurting something fierce now. He needed a smoke.

"Why didn't you come and get me?" his superintendent demanded. "I have spare keys you know. Mr. Coburg nearly tripped over you on his way to his apartment."

"It's not my fault he's next to blind," Sirius mumbled. "Got a light?"

"I don't smoke."

"Fuck you."

"Hey, now."

"Sorry."

John squatted down next to him and simply said, "No, you're not."

Sirius shrugged.

When he did not offer to give him an explanation, John looked from him to his apartment thoughtfully. "What's really going on, here?"

"...I've got a guest over," Sirius hedged. "Do you mind if I crash at your place for a while?"

John raised an eyebrow. "A life and death situation?"

"I don't think so. I hope not."

"Damn, it, Black."

"I said I was sorry."

The elder man huffed. "No, you're not!"

Sirius tried to sound nonchalant but ended up sounding strained. "Or, I could stay out here."  
John shook his head. "I'm not happy with housing criminals."

Suddenly, Sirius found himself on his feet – his brain was still struggling to wrap itself around the very idea of standing up – and he felt his cheeks flush in his anger. When he blinked, he realized he had grabbed John by the collar of his shirt and shoved him up against the wall, his feet inches from the floor.

The man gasped, clearly bewildered by Sirius' violence. He brought his hands up when Sirius' fist came inches to his face. "Whoa...! What...? Sirius!"

"I'm not a criminal," Sirius hissed.

If anyone was a criminal, it was that man who...

Angrily, he shook his head as if to dispel any thoughts of him.

"All right, all right! You're not!"

When he finally realized what he was doing, Sirius let John fall back to the floor, swiping a shaking hand over his face. "Oh shit, I'm so sorry, John..."

His superintendent stumbled back a few paces and unruffled his shirt, warily. He didn't like the way Sirius had become so defensive – so angry... he watched as the younger man slid back down into a crouched position on the floor.

He felt his own anger spark. "I have the right to know." He hated playing this card: with Sirius he had never had to pull rank before. He saw the boy tense, but he knew that he could not turn the conversation back from the road it had taken. If there was one thing Sirius hated, it was people asserting their authority.

He expected Sirius to get up and storm away, or curse and get violent again. The way his lean body seemed to be coiled, ready to spring in action, told him that the boy was very ready to do both. So, it could not be denied that he was more than shocked that Sirius merely stayed in place and heaved a sigh. "I know...but just thinking about it makes me really angry." He inhaled heavily again. "Just...just let me think...let me...just..."

So John leaned against the wall and waited for the boy to compose himself. Finally, Sirius whispered, "I thought _I _was messed up...I don't know how to handle this..."

John looked straight ahead, and even though he didn't know a thing about what Sirius was talking about, he answered, "Handle it the way you always do – in your stubborn manner that seems to get you though anything."

Huh.

Sirius felt a smile tug at his lips despite the graveness of the situation. "That won't be easy," he said, after a while.

His friend – yes, that's what he was, despite the fact that he was Sirius' landlord – leaned forward. "Let me help you, Sirius. You know I won't tell a soul."

How many times had he covered for him?

How many times had he put up with his shit?

Sirius spoke slowly, thoughtfully, as though he were trying to taste the words on his tongue before spitting them out. "...Help me...help her...protect us..."

"Protect you? Gods, Sirius, what did you do this time?"

Sirius seemed to have sunk into a stupor – he was thinking so hard. "We've gotta disappear," he announced. "We've gotta go off the radar. To a place where no one knows us..."

John knelt down next to him and shook his shoulder. "Kid, I have no idea what you're talking about! What is it? What happened? Who are you running from? What -" he cut himself off as he heard the noise of several tires crunching on the gravel just outside the building. But it wasn't the sound of tires that distracted him.

It was the sirens.

Sirius finally turned his head to stare at John with wide eyes. "The police."

**To Be Continued...

* * *

**

**AN:** I would really like to have some feedback and see what you thought of this last chapter. Thank you again for all the encouragement and reviews. It means the world to me! Thanks for your patience. Until the next update,

-P.P.V.V.


	19. One Step At A Time

**GENUINE GEMINI By: P.P.V.V.**

_Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim applies...all original characters are mine to claim.

* * *

_

**AN:** This is for you, because you inspired me. Thank you!

Onward.

* * *

_Previously: _

_John leaned forward. "Let me help you, Sirius. You know I won't tell a soul."_

_How many times had he covered for him?_

_How many times had he put up with his shit?_

_Sirius spoke slowly, thoughtfully, as though he were trying to taste the words on his tongue before spitting them out. "...Help me...help her...protect us..."_

_John knelt down next to him and shook his shoulder. "Kid, I have no idea what you're talking about! What is it? What happened? Who are you running from? What -" he cut himself off as he heard the noise of several tires crunching on the gravel just outside the building. But it wasn't the sound of tires that distracted him._

_It was the sirens._

_Sirius finally turned his head to stare at John with wide eyes. "The police."

* * *

_

**Chapter 19**

**- One Step At A Time - **

Neither of them moved.

And then John grabbed Sirius by the arm. "Come on," he hissed, hauling him to his feet. If the police were really here for him, he had to get the boy out of sight. He could only hope that the police would not insist on searching the complex – if he was found lying through his teeth, Sirius was not the only one who was going to be behind bars. Still, he could not just let Sirius get arrested. "Here are the keys to my place. I'll cover for you."

Sirius felt the item get pressed into his hand and he stared at them in a daze. John let out an impatient sigh and shoved him forward in the direction of his apartment.

He snapped out of it when he heard the pattering of footsteps coming up the building's staircase. John was waving him onward, urgently, and he gave his landlord a grateful nod before letting himself into the man's apartment.

As always, it was spic and span, and much too bright. Sirius had the thought to find the light switch and flick it off, but didn't bother because he was certain he'd destroy something fumbling around in the dark in the unfamiliar room.

Instead, he stood frozen by the doorway, not trusting himself to wander. He was certain there were uncovered reflective surfaces nearby, and he did not want to chance having another spell, especially during this critical moment. He found himself straining to listen to the sounds coming from the hallway.

He could hear voices talking frantically. A big booming voice was the most audible. There were others that were muffled, one that must have belonged to John, but Sirius could not distinguish it. Then, there were hurried footsteps. When they seemed to get closer, Sirius pushed away from the door and fled toward the guest room he had occupied before, throwing himself inside.

Heart hammering in his chest, breathless, he watched to see if the front door would open and admit the police inside. For what seemed like eternity, he rigidly stood in the center of the room, his hands clenched into fists – if they came through, he was trapped.

Thoroughly confused, and mentally exhausted, Sirius sank onto the bed and waited for the worst. When the door finally did open, (hours later because the clock's digital numbers shone the fact that it was close to midnight), he shot to his feet. John came in, and Sirius expected to see the police with him, but the man was alone.

"Sirius?" he called.

Trying to get his breathing under control, Sirius responded, "I'm...I'm right here, John..."

John followed the direction of his voice and peered into the bedroom. "All right there?"

"What happened?"

"You're lucky, they weren't looking for you. They were here for another reason."

Sirius felt like he was floating. "Another reason?"

"Apparently, they got a tip off about people dealing drugs around here." John did not sound pleased at all. "I told them that they were free to check all the apartments, and there was some commotion. Derrick and Al got caught red-handed. It will be a while before things calm down." Derrick and Al were only fifteen years old.

Still trying to come to terms with the news, Sirius breathed, "So...they're not after me, huh?"

John shook his head. "Speaking of which, what's got you so keyed up?"

Sirius sighed, "It's complicated."

John asked, knowingly, "And it includes a sleeping girl down the hall?"

Damn. The police must have insisted to search his quarters, too. He hoped Lily hadn't freaked out when they entered. He could already picture the scene in his mind, and he felt his heart beat quicken again.

John leaned against the doorway, crossing his arms. "Relax. She slept through the whole search – the police said they'd be back to do a more thorough one once she was awake." He shrugged one shoulder. "They seemed reluctant to wake her because she seemed to be in recovery."

Bellatrix had probably given Lily some sleeping pills or enough pain killers to keep her knocked out. Whatever the case, he was just glad that she hadn't had to endure the annoying authorities.

"So?"

His landlord's question interrupted his brooding.

"I want the story, Sirius."

Sirius contemplated telling him a lie, but he knew that John would see right through it. Had the man noticed Lily's condition?

Again, he felt the anguish of what had happened to her twist at his gut. "She's...she's the one, John. That's Lily."

When John did not say anything, Sirius took that as a cue to continue. He took a deep breath and pressed his hands together as if doing so would help him gather his scattering thoughts. He concentrated on keeping his anger in check while he retold the scene he had encountered at Lily's house earlier; the blood, the violence, the sexual abuse. "I don't know what to do..." he whispered, when he was finished. He could see that the story angered the elder man because of the way John's eyes were flashing.

"What do you mean?"

"I can't let her go back there!"

John finally moved from his position, only to lean against the opposite side of the door frame. "Of course you can't," he said, grimly. "I wouldn't let her go back, either."

"The thought alone makes me..."

"-Don't do anything rash."

Sirius nodded, sullenly. "I know. I'm just so angry..."

"I'll bet you are." John's voice resonated disapproval. "The first thing you've got to do is talk to her. You can't move forward until you know what it is she wants."

Well, that was true. It was also the hardest course of action – Lily would probably avoid him for days, if not forever. He couldn't very well keep her away from home if she wanted to return. He also couldn't force her to stick around if she didn't want to be with him any more. The familiar stab of fear made itself known again to him: he couldn't lose her. Not over something like this.

Not to that man.

But John was right, like he always was.

John seemed to sense his distress because he gently said, "Give her some time, Sirius. It's not an easy matter to discuss." He gestured to the kitchen. "Do you want something to eat?"

Sirius was about to turn down the offer, but his stomach had ideas of its own. He followed the elder man into the kitchen where John promptly began to put together a quick snack. Sirius watched him, deep in thought. "I'll pay double," he offered, when a sandwich was finally put in front of him.

"Don't be silly. This one's on the house," John told him, settling himself down across from his tenant and taking a big bite out of his own sandwich.

Sirius made no move to touch his. "You know what I mean."

"Yes, I do," John agreed, around a mouthful. "And I'm telling you that you don't have to. Lily can stay for as long as she needs to. Gods know that you hardly use the place, anyway. Maybe she'll even get you to take out your trash every week."

Sirius actually felt himself blush at the slight scolding. "But the utilities..."

"-Aren't even half of what other tenants use," John said. "I'm not arguing about this anymore. Eat your food."

Still, the younger boy stared at him, uncomfortably. "Thank you."

John rolled his eyes. "C'mon kid, it's been a long day. You need to get some grub into your system and then get some rest. Tomorrow...tomorrow, you can think about the other things. For now, take things one step at a time."

This time, Sirius obediently bent over his food and began to eat.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Lily came to with a gasp that quickly turned into a groan.

That _hurt_!

Her ribs felt like they were on fire.

The air here was musty; different, but at the same time, very familiar.

There was a faint light coming from between dark curtains which had been drawn together.

Slowly, she turned her head in an effort to survey her surroundings. It was too dark to see properly, though, so she could only make out the fact that she was in a bed that was not hers. There were iron-wrought posts that made her feel like she was in a cage.

It suddenly struck her that she could only see out of one eye. In panic, her hand flew up to probe at her face. Her fingers encountered the soft material of gauze that wound itself around her head and over her eye. Even though it hurt to move, she frantically began to tear the gauze away.

To her intense relief, she found that her right eye was still functional. It opened only slightly, however, because the tissue surrounding the eye was puffy and swollen. She stared at what little light was available through the slit in the curtains, her fingers coming away tinged and smelling of ointment.

With another groan, she let her hand fall back to the bed. With startling clarity, she remembered everything that happened before she blacked out and as if to remind her, her injuries seemed to throb. Nothing, though, could hurt more than the look in Sirius' eyes as he had gathered her in his arms.

Refusing to dwell on that thought, Lily slowly began to test her limbs to see the extent of the damage. Her body responded to her check-over, albeit with much reluctance. She was glad to note that while she was severely injured, nothing was broken. When her inventory was complete, she allowed herself to probe her emotional condition.

Anger.

Resentment.

Fear.

Those were present as always, but were now accompanied by other feelings.

Embarrassment.

Inadequacy.

Sadness.

Oh, most of all, sadness!

Sirius would never think twice about her now. She was certain he was absolutely disgusted by the situation. Surely he would want someone pure – someone untainted by other men. Someone who was honest and free. The fact that he had stumbled upon the scene was the worst thing that could have happened to her: she had wanted to tell him. She hadn't expected he'd find out the way he had. Again, his disappointed eyes came to mind, and she fought a losing battle against tears.

She didn't want him to hate her.

Somehow, she knew that this was his apartment. The fact that she was dressed, cleaned and bandaged gave her hope that maybe...just maybe...he still cared.

The pain in her ribs became insistent. She wallowed in it, letting it wash over her and she placed her concentration on that, trying to escape from the crushing weight of her emotions. Just when the pain became unbearable, the door to the small apartment opened. Instinctively, Lily turned her head, dread filling her at the thought that she'd have to face Sirius so soon.

She was surprised – relieved – to see Bellatrix standing in the doorway.

The woman wasn't facing her, though. Instead, she spoke to someone behind her. "Just wait for me, okay?"  
"What's going on, Bellatrix?"

Remus.

"It's a girl thing. I'll be right back."

He seemed reluctant to part. "I'll be by the car, then, I suppose."

"Thanks, Remus."

Through the haze of pain, Lily found herself wondering why the two were present. Despite everything, she also noted the fact that Bellatrix had a key to Sirius' apartment. Maybe he'd already decided to go back to Bellatrix.

Suddenly, she did not want Bellatrix to come any closer.

Unfortunately, as incapacitated as she was, she could only lie there as said woman strode forward. "Hey, Evans. You awake, now?"

Lily stared straight at the ceiling, willing herself to stop crying. She felt like a weight was sitting on her chest. She flinched when the woman touched her forehead. "Easy, Evans. It's just me." Her beautiful face frowned when she caught sight of the removed bandage. "Looks like I'll have to get you ice for that," she said, referring to the swollen eye. "I've brought you a change of clothes, too. And a bottle of pain killers – you can't trust Sirius to keep anything worthwhile around here." She paused when she saw Lily's tears. "Do you want some medicine right now?" she asked, thinking the tears were because of physical pain.

Lily shook her head but Bellatrix began to rummage through the sack that she had brought, anyway. To fill in the awkward silence, she said, "Sirius is not in. He's probably at work."

Her words brought a sense of relief – she wouldn't have to confront him just yet.

She was such a coward.

She let Bellatrix help her up into a sitting position and obediently took the medication. After that, Bellatrix began cleaning her wounds and applying fresh bandages. Lily had to bite her lip against the agony. Luckily, the pain killers kicked in half-way through and she sat in a haze, waiting for Bellatrix to finish.

Bellatrix went about her work as quickly and as gently as possible. She had steeled herself for any cries of pain and was surprised when Lily did not render a single sound. Instead, the redhead had a faraway look in her eyes.

What she was thinking, Bellatrix did not want to know.

"You and Black are perfect for each other," she muttered, snipping off long piece of gauze. "You guys have enough trouble to keep your relationship exciting for four life times." She proceeded to dip the gauze into some ointment and dab it around Lily's eye before wrapping it around the eye securely. "Let it rest for a few hours to help your swelling go down. There might be some discoloration for a few days, but that's only natural for bruises. I'll go grab that ice for you, now."

She started to rise to her feet, but froze when Lily suddenly reached out and snagged her wrist. "Evans?"

"I...I...I need to use the washroom," Lily told her, woodenly.

Flustered, Bellatrix allowed the girl to use her as a crutch as she struggled to get out of bed. "Do you...need some help?"

Lily shook her head, mortified at the very idea.

Bellatrix looked like she was going to protest, but didn't because Lily had already begun to hobble forward. Instead, she guided her slowly to the washroom door where she stopped and went no further.

Inside was just as dark as the general bedroom. Lily was not surprised to find that the light switch was not working; in fact, she was expecting it. There was an unpleasant smell within, and she wrinkled her nose in distaste at it. But her bladder was demanding relief, so she entered and fumbled around to find the toilet.

Bellatrix hovered close to the washroom door just in case Lily changed her mind. She waited, feeling anxious when Lily seemed to be taking longer than usual – probably assessing the damage. She was reminded of the way Lily had looked the other day, and she shivered, pushing away the images.

As much as she disliked her, Bellatrix would not wish that upon anyone. She could not help but feel a faint stirring of anger at the man who had done this to her.

She was pulled out of her dark thoughts when Lily finally exited. For a moment, both girls stared at each other, sharing a haunted look.

Before Bellatrix could say something, a shadow, cast from the doorway, suddenly loomed over them. It made the two girls jump and turn.

The lean figure of a man was the culprit. Silhouetted as he was in the hallway's lighting, he seemed, even to Bellatrix, an imposing creature. Reflexively, Lily shrank back and Bellatrix, seeing the girl's reaction, stepped forward a bit to put herself between her and the man. "Who is it?" she snapped, caution heavy in her tone. Her right hand was already in her pocket around her cell phone, ready to call for some help, if need be.

The man spoke. "Bellatrix?"

Lily watched Bellatrix's defensive posture relax, slowly. "John?"

"What are you doing here?"

Clearly, they knew each other, but that didn't make Lily feel any less threatened. She pulled back some more, trying to distance herself as much as possible. "Sirius asked me to come around..." Bellatrix trailed off at the end of her sentence, unsure whether or not the landlord knew of the situation.

"Did he, now?"

Well, maybe they knew each other, but it was obvious that they didn't share trust.

"A friend of ours is injured," Bellatrix said, after a thought. "I've come to help her recover."

John peered around her, at Lily's cowering form that was by the bed. "Is she awake? Sirius told me to keep an eye on her, too."

Bellatrix did not answer as she tried to decide if she should believe him. For some reason, she suddenly felt fiercely protective of Lily. She couldn't bear the thought of having the girl suffer any more. She realized, with some regret, that she had come to see men in the same light as Lily did: dangerous.

John seemed to sense her apprehension, because his voice became reassuring. "I'm glad he got you to stop by. I wasn't too sure how I'd go about it, if you know what I mean." He scratched behind his ear as he spoke, and if Bellatrix could see him properly, she was certain she would have seen a blush tinge his cheeks.

Again, there was a moment of silence as Bellatrix weighed his words. Finally, she asked, "Do you have any ice?"

The tension eased slightly from the room at the question. John waved his hand. "I'll be right back."

"If you have any food, that would be good, too."

"Sure thing."

And then, he was gone.

When Bellatrix turned back to her charge, Lily noted quietly, "You don't like him."

Bellatrix narrowed her eyes, a habit of hers when she was agitated. "It's not that I don't like him – he doesn't like me. He's heard a lot of shit. Sirius made me look like a..." she stopped herself in mid-sentence, before she could divulge too much unnecessary information.

It was better not to dwell on that topic.

"It's none of your business."

Lily's gaze lowered to the floor.

Bellatrix cleared her throat. "John's a good guy. He's the only one Sirius will trust – he puts more faith in John than in Remus, so that's saying something." When Lily did not respond, she continued, "He won't hurt you."

Lily's face stayed impassive; it was hard to tell what she was thinking. Bellatrix shifted her weight from one foot to the other, uncomfortably as she debated what to do. She had already taken too long. If she lingered any longer, Remus would come up and search for her and she doubted Lily would take to that action lightly. "Look, I have to go..." she waited for Lily to say something, but when she didn't, she turned her heel. "I'll be back tomorrow if Sirius needs me to do anything more."

Lily nodded once and the girl moved back toward the door. "Thank you for your help, Bellatrix," she said..

Bellatrix cleared her throat again, this time feeling embarrassed. She lifted her chin in an attempt to be haughty. "That's the third time now, Evans. Let's not make it a habit."

That caused Lily to smile slightly and nod again.

She stopped by the doorway. "I'm sorry for what happened to you," she offered, uneasily. "I hope you recover soon."

They shared another haunted look: there were some wounds that took much longer to heal than others.

With that, Bellatrix left. For a long time, Lily stood there, staring at the spot where the other woman had been standing. She guessed that Bellatrix was not the type to express concern for another very often. It made her feel much better, knowing that somehow, someone understood her pain; her fear.

Then, gingerly, she sat back down on the bed, looking around.

Sirius' place was just as she had left it. The three piles she had created were still present. His dresser, which had been thick with dust, still held the tracing of her name where she had written it. She couldn't help but wonder if Sirius ever came home.

She glanced up again when John rapped on the door twice. "Hey, there," he said, slowly. "Is Bellatrix gone?"

Lily didn't move as though doing so would cause him to disappear.

John did not look offended by her silence. Instead, he slowly bent to put the things he was holding on the floor by his feet. Lily followed his hands – work-chafed hands, she noted – to see a bag of ice and a bowl of something steaming. "I'll leave these right here and you can help yourself to them if you want," he offered, again speaking slowly.

She realized it was because he knew she perceived him as a threat. He was trying to show her that he was not going to do anything sudden.

"I'm not the best cook," he said, apologetically, "but it'll have to do. Sirius doesn't cook at all, so it's better than going hungry, right?"

Again, she did not respond and he held up his hands as he took a step backward. "I live just at the end of the hallway. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask. And while you're in my building, I promise I'll keep a look out for you."

Finally, Lily dipped her head, not trusting her voice.

He gave her a little grin and was about to leave her alone when he suddenly remembered something. "Oh, and um...Sirius asked me to give this to you when you woke," he reached into the breast pocket of his overly-large plaid shirt. With a flourish, he produced a piece of paper which he proceeded to place next to the bag of ice. "He said to read it when you're feeling up to the task."

A letter...

She dreaded to think about what he'd written.

"Don't forget," John said, cutting off her train of thought, "come get me if you need anything." This time, he didn't wait for her acknowledgment and disappeared back down the hall, his footsteps so soft that she now knew why they hadn't heard him approach the first time around.

Once she was certain he was gone, Lily cautiously moved toward the items on the floor. Ignoring the ice pack and the food, she went straight for the letter.

With trembling fingers, she unfolded it, sitting herself down by the doorway and using the hallway's lighting to read what was inside.

_Lily,_

His writing was rather scraggly, the penmanship something she had grown accustomed to over the past month.

_Whenever you're ready, we have to talk._ _Focus on getting better. _

The note ended there, without his name, without any kind of salutation. It gave away no hint of what Sirius might want to talk about, or what his reaction was. In short, an infuriating letter. Lily didn't know whether to panic or to reassure herself.

Perhaps he had meant for it to be that way, so that she did not stress. She hoped fervently that her conclusion was the right one.

She rubbed at her forehead feeling fatigue trickle into her as the pain medication worked to bring her body into a numb state. That was fine by her, as she did not want to think, to feel. She closed her eyes and let her head thump back against the door frame.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Sirius bit the back end of his pen as he read. Beside him lay two empty cartons of milk and one lunch tray that held a half-eaten meal. Next to that, he had stacked his textbooks and on top of everything, a magazine that featured the newest model of motorbike on the market.

He sighed, putting his notebook down. Somehow, without Lily, the events in the history lecture just did not register. He couldn't see the reason for memorizing facts about the past. After all, it wasn't like it affected him directly...and besides, the past was the past. He disliked revisiting it, no matter how distant.

His mind was starting to wander back to his apartment where a certain redhead was trying to recover. He wondered if she had woken up. He wondered if she would read his note. He worried that she would need to be brought to the hospital, that her wounds were more serious than he had thought.

Realizing that he was working himself into distress, Sirius shook his head. _No_, he told himself sternly, _focus! _Despite what had happened, life continued. He had to stay strong.

With a vengeance, he stabbed the remainder of his lunch and stuffed it hastily into his mouth. It held some sort of cheese, but he didn't really taste it. Once again, he turned to his notebook, trying to imagine Lily's voice explaining the events to him.

It worked a little because by the end of his lunch hour, he could remember some facts. He was certain that Lily would be proud of him. Just thinking of her made him smile. The smile, however, faded at the memory of her battered body.

And that man.

He didn't get a chance to dwell on it though, because his cell phone suddenly rang.

He almost knocked his things off the table with the way he lunged to retrieve it.

"Hey, Sirius!" Charlie's voice rang out cheerfully from the other line after he answered the call.

Sirius had to fight down the surge of disappointment. "Hey, Weasely."

"Why're you being so distant?" Charlie demanded. Somewhere in the background, Sirius could hear the clank of metal against metal. It seemed that the mechanic was working, as well.

"Sorry, I got a lot on my mind."

"Did you see the news?"

If Sirius' heart could detach itself, he would have sworn it fell right down to the bottom of his stomach. Had Lily's predicament already gotten to the police? "Donovan Verovich is staying in town, you know," Charlie was saying, forcing him out of his thoughts. "There are going to be a series of races and I hear he's planning on grabbing some potentials."

Sirius didn't know whether he would have preferred news about the police over this. "What are you getting at, Charlie?"

"I'm inviting you to come with me," Charlie said, and Sirius could practically see the man rolling his eyes on the other line. "I got a pair of tickets to one of the races – Amos can't make it because he's got some dental-something-or-other appointment booked on that day. That leaves you and Jared. I thought I'd give you the option first."

"Aw, gee, Charlie, I'm touched."

Charlie sniffed, "You don't have to be so sarcastic."

Gritting his teeth, Sirius tried to keep his voice pleasant, "I'm not interested."

"What? Do you know how much these tickets cost? I've got good seats, I promise. It's not an amateur race like we usually watch."

"No, really, just ask Daneb," Sirius said, moving to the other side of the room as he spoke. "I've got something I need to finish. Trust me, racing is the last thing that's on my mind."

"It's that new girlfriend of yours, isn't it?" Charlie demanded. "She doesn't like racing or anything to do with it. That's why you've become soft shit."

Sirius forced himself to keep calm. "Charlie..."

"Whatever. See you around, Sirius," and with that, Charlie hung up.

_Well, fuck you too, _Sirius thought, darkly staring at the phone before shoving it in his pocket. His gaze flew upward toward the clock which signaled the fact that he only had three minutes of his lunch hour remaining. Resigned, he began to clean up, stacking his things together and putting them into his backpack. He stopped when he touched the magazine, remembering Charlie's words.

His friend had every right to be upset, he supposed. He'd been avoiding all of Charlie's attempts to hang out, after all. If only Don wasn't involved...Sirius was certain he'd venture to the races. _Take things slowly_, the doctor had told him. _Don't expect to get over your trauma in one day. _

Inwardly, Sirius snorted. He really was soft shit.

For the rest of the day, he busied himself with lugging orders into their respective places and making sure that shipments were ready for the couriers that would come to pick them up. Luckily, no deliveries were scheduled for that day, so he didn't have to worry about keeping inventory. The work helped, though, because it served to keep his mind occupied and his body moving.

Sirius' workspace was a large warehouse with metal postings and support beams. They towered five stories over him and had been strung with flat-plate lighting that shone brightly. On a normal day, he would share the space with several other men, who usually brought in deliveries and operated the machinery. The shippers had been given a little office where they could keep postings and lists, and it was usually here that he hung out. The other men were older and buffer, and while they were friendly to him, did not engage in more substantial conversation with him.

Sometimes he would get headaches from all the noise of the forklifts and conveyor belts and voices shouting back and forth, so Sirius cherished the fact that it was the weekend and he could work by himself.

He was heading to his desk when he caught sight of someone wandering the warehouse.

Jogging over to his doorway, Sirius called out, "Excuse me! You're not supposed - " he cut himself off when he saw that it was only Steve Brunners, the evening shift relief. "You're early!"

"By an hour!" Steve called back, proudly. He was a paunch man, who liked to wear overalls and large gloves when he worked. He had a neatly trimmed copper-colored beard and it seemed as though he was trying for a mustache next because Sirius could make out some fuzz growing on the man's upper lip. When he finally reached the doorway, Steve grinned widely. "No traffic on the roads," he said, in explanation. "I figured I'd come in early and have you return the favor one day."

Everyone knew that the evening shift sucked balls.

Sirius rolled his shoulder. "I wouldn't feel right..."

"Just go, Black," Steve said, pushing his way into the office and striding toward his own desk. "Give me your reports and get a move on."

So Sirius did – he wasn't about to protest. He was eager to get home and check on Lily.

Just as Steve had said, there was no traffic on the roads, which was really strange for a Saturday afternoon. He supposed that it was because of the weather. Snow was falling in earnest now, as if to make up for the fact that it was late in coming. He would have to start taking public transport if the roads got too iced up – with the way he liked to drive, it would only result in having an accident.

By the time he reached the square where his apartment building was located, his fingers felt like they were going to fall off. The windchill had fallen drastically in the half hour he had driven and his body felt stiff when he parked and disembarked. He spared no time to take off his helmet, jogging toward the building, eager to get out of the cold.

Once inside, he rubbed his hands together to try and get some feeling into them before removing his helmet. He'd have to pull out his warmer equipment or else he'd never last the winter. As he walked down the hallway, he found himself wondering if the races were going to be held inside on account of the weather when he realized that the door to his apartment was open.

Fear and hope fought to gain the upper hand in him and Sirius hurried toward it.

If someone had entered...

Did the police come back to search the grounds?

Had Lily woken up?

Maybe John had come to check on Lily.

Maybe Bellatrix had.

Or maybe...

Sirius didn't even let himself finish the thought.

A bag full of water lay on the hallway's carpet just outside of the door, as well as a bowl of what looked like noodles and soup which had gone cold and untouched. Proof that John had stopped by. Evidently, the man had done as Sirius had asked and not entered the room.

Sirius stepped inside into the dark room and nearly tripped. Looking closely, he realized that he had stumbled over a pair of legs.

With a start, he crouched next to Lily's form which had slumped over on the floor. "Lily? Lily!" He dropped his helmet and reached out to shake the girl's shoulder. He couldn't understand what she was doing by the doorway instead of on the bed.

To his relief, she stirred. "S...Sirius...?" and whether or not she sounded frightened or confused, he did not know.

"Yes, it's me," he said.

She became more alert at the sound of his voice. "Sirius?"

He nodded, even though she could not see him in the darkness. He gasped and was forced to sit back on his heels when she all but launched herself into his arms. "Sirius!" Now her voice sounded relieved. He hugged her back, gently, his worry lifting slightly at how vivacious she seemed.

"Welcome home," Lily mumbled against his shoulder.

He laughed quietly. Yeah, she was still half-asleep. The words warmed him to the core and a fleeting thought that he wouldn't mind hearing her say those words to him for the rest of his life, crossed his mind.

"Sweetheart, what are you doing over here?" he asked.

"Waiting for you..." she answered, and he set her back to take a look at her. From his quick inspection, he wasn't sure how badly she was injured. His other hand traced the bandage that was over her eye. She was still dressed in one of his t-shirts and a pair of his pants. Her hair was the messiest he had ever seen it, and he reached out to smooth it down for her. She seemed to totter with her fatigue.

"You'll get cold," he said, in disapproval.

Lily tried to stop a yawn from escaping, but was unsuccessful. "Sirius..."

He shushed her gently, reaching forward and scooping her into his arms much as he had done the other day. She snuggled close to him, her hands clutching at the material of his jacket. "You've got to get some proper rest," he told her.

"But we have to talk," Lily protested, still sounding groggy.

"We'll talk later, when you're awake and when you're feeling better."

When he placed her back onto the bed, she did not relinquish her grip on him. She said, "Please don't go..."

He reached up to pry her fingers off him. "I'll be right here," he promised, pulling the blankets up around her chin. But her hand darted out and grabbed his.

"Don't leave me!"

A lump came to his throat at her plea and he knew them to mean more than they presented. His hand curled over hers and he looked her right in the eye. "I'm right here, sweetheart," he whispered. He crouched next to the bed, still holding her hand tightly. "I'll be here if you need me."

She didn't answer, and he didn't know whether it was because she was too tired to do so, or because she didn't believe him. "Sleep now," he ordered.

She sighed his name and he saw her eyes close as she reluctantly succumbed to the effects of the medication once more. After a while, her chest rose and fell in a steady pattern which told him that she had finally managed to fall back asleep.

Slowly, he leaned over and kissed her forehead. Then, resting their entwined hands against his still-cold cheek, he returned to watching her. "I love you, Lily," he told her sleeping figure. "I won't ever leave you."

As though she heard him, a tear rolled down her cheek, and her lips turned up slightly in a smile.

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**When all else fails**

**Just keep moving

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**To be Continued...

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**AN:** Not as dark as the last chapter – kind of like the calm after the storm. Don't worry, it will pick up again in time. Again, I can't express how happy I am to get your feedback and your encouragement. Please do let me know your thoughts! Until next update

thanks for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


	20. Innocent Until Proven Guilty

**GENUINE GEMINI by: P.P.V.V. **

_Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim applies…all original characters are mine to claim.

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**AN:** I hope everyone has been having a wonderful holiday season so far! My present to you.

Merry Christmas!

* * *

_Previously: _

_With trembling fingers, Lily unfolded the letter that Sirius had written, sitting herself down by the doorway and using the hallway's lighting to read what was inside._

_**Lily,**_

_His writing was rather scraggly, the penmanship something she had grown accustomed to over the past month. _

_**Whenever you're ready, we have to talk.**__**Focus on getting better.

* * *

**_

**Chapter 20**

**- Innocent Until Proven Guilty -**

When Lily woke next, she noticed that the curtains to the window had been pulled back, letting soft moonlight stream into the room. The door leading into the small flat had been left wide open too, so that the hallway's lighting also invaded the darkness. Another thing struck her as strange: the washroom light was on, too.

She felt heavy; probably the after-effects of the medicine that she had taken. Or maybe it was because of the amount of sleep that she had gotten. Her body still ached, but not as intensely as before.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when she caught movement next to the bed. But it was only Sirius, standing by his motorcycle, wiping it down with a cloth.

For a moment, Lily wondered whether she was dreaming.

…Why was Sirius' motorcycle in the room?

Seeing her start, Sirius turned to face her. "Sorry, did I wake you?"

In reply, Lily propped herself up onto her elbow. Looking closely, she realized that Sirius' hair was wet and that his face was slightly pink. He had most probably just stepped in from the cold.

He followed her gaze to his vehicle and gave the seat another swipe. "There's a snowstorm in full swing," he thought to explain. "I didn't want to leave it outside – have you ever tried to ride in rust? It's the worst thing, I tell you."

Gingerly, Lily sat up fully, the blankets falling to rest at a pool by her waist. Sirius watched her from the corner of his eye as he continued with his work. "John fixed the switch in the bathroom," he said, as though to chase away the awkward silence that had fallen. "He said he'd take care of my flat's main switch tomorrow." He stopped wiping and turned to face her, fully. "How are you feeling, now?"

Lily rubbed at her eyes. "I'm…better, thanks."

He gave her a small smile. "That's good. Are you hungry?"

She was about to tell him that she wasn't, but the mere mention of food made her stomach growl loud enough for him to hear.

He laughed and waved the cloth at her. "I'll grab you something to eat just as soon as I finish this."

This time, when he went back to his business, he hummed something under his breath as he worked. His leather jacket creaked as he bent to his task, his long hair draping his face in an almost elegant manner.

He moved with confidence, each gesture sure and firm. That was the way Lily always pictured him, without a fear or care in the world. She drank in the picture, greedily, wistfully…

She blinked out of her reverie when Sirius suddenly knelt down in front of her. His eyes were shining with concern. "Lily?"

"Y-yes?"

"I was asking you a question."

She blinked again, feeling a blush rise to her cheeks. She must have spaced out… "Sorry."

"I was asking if you're cold. John's only just fixed the heater, so I'm wondering if it's at the right temperature."

Lily thought about it for a moment before shaking her head. "I'm not cold. But I will be when I have to walk home in that storm."

Perplexed, Sirius demanded, "Why would you have to walk home in it?"

She looked at him as though he were daft. "When we break up," she said, solemnly, "I have to get home, somehow. Since I don't have any bus fare, I'll have to walk home."

His eyebrows furrowed. "And _why _are we breaking up, exactly?"

She gestured down at herself. "Because of what happened…,"she explained. "Because of what you saw…" At this, he wrinkled his brow and she wondered if he was on the same page as her. Lily cleared her throat and tried again. "Because you'll never look at me the same way again…not after…"

He seemed to contemplate her for a moment, before getting up and plopping himself down on a stool next to the bed. He surprised her when he chuckled. "A mental institution…rape…we make a pretty crazy couple, don't we?"

She was not humored at all by his observation. In fact, she was far from amused. Did he think she wasn't serious? He peered at her, swinging slightly on his perch. When she did not return his smile, he sighed. "All kidding aside, then. Lily, you look normal enough to me. And even though terrible things happened to you, I don't think anything could change what I see."

Lily stared at him, disbelief written all over her face. "But…I…even though…"

He silenced her by taking her hand in his. "It wasn't your fault," he said, firmly curling his fingers tight around hers. "What that man did to you…don't blame yourself. Don't you _ever _blame yourself."

She looked down at their intertwined fingers. She wanted to explain it all to him, to make him see…to make him understand. She had resigned herself to doing so a long time ago. She felt tears come to her eyes.

Why did he have to be so kind?

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry I never told you," she whispered. "I didn't want anyone to know. Not you – especially not you...at least not in this way. I was going to tell you, but…" she took a deep breath, trying to find the words to explain the situation to him. Finally, she just shook her head. "You know I'm a coward."

Sirius slowly rotated their hands back and forth before quietly demanding, "Who was he? The man who…" he swallowed, letting the sentence trail.

"My Uncle," Lily said, fixating the one eye that wasn't covered by bandages on a spot on the bed. She couldn't bear to look at their hands any more. He stayed silent, allowing her to gather her thoughts. "My parents died in a fire when I was twelve." Sirius tried to hide his flinch but was unsuccessful. She didn't seem to notice it, however, because she did not make eye contact with him. He thought she wouldn't continue, but she did, softly.

"Aunt Susan was sick with cancer. When she passed away, Uncle Perry began to drink," Lily seemed to be seeing the events of the past. "One night, he came home very drunk. That was the very first time…" she bowed her head, unable to finish her story.

Sirius realized that he had tightened his grip on her hand and he had to force himself to calm down and loosen it because Lily was starting to wince. "That's when he raped you," he finished.

Lily nodded. "I was only thirteen…" She let that horrible truth hang in the air. Sirius had to remind himself to breathe. "Sometimes…he brings his friends over," she whispered, "And they…"

Feeling sick to his stomach, Sirius stared at her. No wonder Lily was so afraid of men. All those that she had known had hurt her. He clearly remembered her aversion to his advances in the back of the gymnasium.

Her displeasure at his quips in the restaurant.

_It's uncomfortable. It makes the girl feel cheap, somehow. _

That was what these men had done to her.

He licked his lips. "You mean…ever since…?"

She hunched her shoulders and didn't respond: it had been a rhetorical question. Though he saw tears fall down her cheeks, he was frozen in his spot. The room resonated silence as Sirius let her words sink in. He realized that he was unable to speak - his chest was heaving as he fought back rage; as he fought back tears of his own.

When he was certain he had bottled his ire enough, he exhaled slowly and wiped away a tear that had managed to escape. He didn't want to frighten her by smashing something in his anger. He wanted to scream, but that would only result in making her feel worse. Finally, he whispered, "Lily…"

Her eyes met his, wide and wet. "I'm sorry I didn't trust you, Sirius. You have been nothing but kind to me. I shouldn't have kept this secret from you for so long. You had every right to know." Her lower lip trembled as she tried to keep her voice steady. "I wanted a relationship based on truths, but I was so afraid! I was afraid you would hate me and - "

Sirius cut her off with a kiss that was both cautious and gentle. He could not believe that Lily thought he hated her. How far from the truth that actually was! There was no one more precious to him, no one he could love more. His right hand cupped her jaw, tenderly brushing away the tears that were sliding down her cheeks. With his other hand, he drew her closer to him, wanting nothing more than to never let her go.

Startled, she kissed him back and when she had the chance, she began to ask, "Sirius…"

He kissed her forehead and pulled back to look at her. "Sweetheart…you and I have complications, but I think we can face them together. No one ever told us we have to do it on our own, right? I can't do it without you." He stroked more of her tears away as he spoke. "With that said," he said, seriously, "why are we breaking up, again?"

There it was. That word again.

_Sweetheart._

Lily thought her heart would burst with joy.

When Sirius pulled her into an embrace, she willingly went. His hands rubbed her back in a calming motion, and she cried until she exhausted all her tears. Without words, he had forgiven her. Without words, he told her that he still loved her. She relished in his embrace – it was the safest place in the world to her. She couldn't believe that he was still willing to keep her even after knowing how tainted she was.

The familiar warmth spread through her at his glowing smile and she put her arms around his waist and squeezed.

Getting over the pain wouldn't be easy, but they would do it.

Together.

* * *

**Should it hurt so much to look back**

**if time should heal all wounds?

* * *

**

"So the question is, what now?"

They were sitting in John's kitchen, a steaming mug of hot chocolate before each of them. The table's surface was covered in a black cloth again so that the white china seemed to glow in contrast under the bright lights.

Lily did not look up, preferring to keep her eyes on Sirius' hand which was linked in hers. Every so often, he would tap it against his thigh, as though to remind her that she was not alone and that she could relax.

Once again, John took her silence with good grace and waited instead for Sirius to answer.

"Lily's agreed to stay with me. We want to file a case against her uncle," Sirius said.

If Lily had been looking, she would have seen John's face crease into a frown. "And the request?"

"At the bare minimum, a restraining order," Sirius said.

"He's her guardian, Sirius."

"Yeah, but he fucking rapes her, John."

The elder man leaned back in his seat and folded his arms with a huff. Sirius did have a point. "If I could," Sirius growled, "I want him in detention. Lock him away for the rest of his fucking life if not kill him."

"C'mon kid," John warned. He waited until Sirius calmed down a bit before saying, "Lily's underage. Keeping her with you would be considered kidnapping. Perry could charge you for that, you know."

In agitation, Sirius tapped their hands on his thigh again, causing Lily to shift uncomfortably. "It wouldn't be considered kidnapping if the party involved was in agreement," Sirius said.

"I hope you have a lawyer in mind," John said, shaking his head. "This can get really complicated, what with the record you hold…"

Sirius' tone darkened and he pushed forward, breaking contact with Lily. "I hope you're not saying that I'm not fit to take care of a minor," he said.

John regarded him coolly. "You know that's not what I meant, Sirius. I'm not calling you a mental case. I'm just suggesting that the courts will. You and I both know that you're more than capable of offering Lily a better life."

Lily looked between the two men in confusion. Somehow, she got the feeling that they were leaving out very important information in their confrontation.

"Hiding her would only result in them becoming more suspicious," John continued. "It would turn the case against you some more."

Sirius did not digress. "Do you know what Perry did to her the last time she tried to run away? If he finds her, he'll do it again and I won't allow it." Lily shivered at the memory. Perry had beat her almost half to death and then passed the blame onto someone else who ended up behind bars. She was starting to lose hope that anyone would be able to get her away from his clutches.

John's eyes flicked to Lily and then back to Sirius. "I'm not trying to tell you to send her back. I'm just trying to show you how complicated it will be."

Sirius seemed to deflate. "I know…I just…I'll do anything, John. I can't have her go back there."

His landlord addressed Lily after a moment's pause. "You will have to be willing to testify," he said. "I know you're afraid, but you will not be the only one to suffer if you don't. If you both open this case, Sirius will also be at point."

Lily winced and Sirius quickly said, "Even if I have to go into admission again. Even if I have to work double. Even if I have to go so far as to rely on my father, I'll do it."

John raised an eyebrow at the last statement. Now he knew that Sirius was desperate. There was no one in the world who hated his father as much as Sirius did. That he was willing to beg for help from him proved how serious he was. And that was without mentioning the fact that Sirius was willing to admit himself into the Institution again. He hoped that Evans knew how lucky she was.

He pondered on the options and gestured for the couple to finish their drinks before they got cold. Meanwhile, he stood up and began to clear the table of the dishes. He had been very pleased to note that his two guests loved his cooking – he could tell because both of them had cleared their plates of every single crumb. He was also relieved to see that Lily had actually acquiesced to leaving the sanctuary of Sirius' flat. It told him that the woman had more courage than she let on and that she had unbridled trust in her boyfriend.

He saw Sirius bend his head close and whisper something to her. She answered with a small smile and a nod.

John left the dishes in the sink and took his seat at the table once again. The two of them looked to him expectantly. "I think the first thing you need to do is go to your school and talk to the Headmaster. He's got to know why Evans will be missing classes." Lily looked like she would choke and John gently explained to her, "You can't risk going back for now – Perry will definitely find you there." He felt terrible when he saw her face cloud over, but he shook his head. "Until we can get a restraining order on your Uncle it is better that you stay hidden. Who knows who he will have out there looking for you."

"Then I have to move addresses," Sirius said. "Sooner or later, Perry's going to find out who I am and he'll track us here."

Once again, John shook his head. "Keep your current address but don't stay there. There are a few more flats on the upper floors that are unoccupied. I'll rent one out in my name and you two can stay there for now. That way, you'll disappear off the map while we figure out how to go around the politics. If they come around to inquire, I'll play the blind side."

Sirius would have hugged the man if he were within arm's reach. "I'll pay you back," he promised.

Lily surprised both men by suddenly saying, "I can help. My parents left me an inheritance."

John cleared his throat. "Like I said: you're underage. Your inheritance is probably under your Uncle's name until you become an adult."

Sirius rubbed the back of his hand over his left eye. "So...Perry could be using the money for all we know."

"Not likely. It may be under his name, but he's no right to touch it. Only Lily can." John picked up his own mug of hot chocolate and took a sip before gesturing to her with it. "I know you don't like all this, but you have to face reality. Even if a restraining order is placed on your Uncle, there's no saying that Sirius can claim your papers. I told you before, Sirius won't be considered the best guardian and the government probably won't approve of him as your primary, anyway."

Sirius and Lily exchanged disheartened looks. Finally, Lily asked, "What if…what if you were to sign as my primary?"

John ran a thumb over the rim of his glass. "I guess that could work. But if you've got any more family, you'll most likely be turned over to them."

The three of them fell silent then. Lily felt like her world was being turned upside down. In less than a day she had lost everything – her home, her education and her dreams. She hated how her life seemed to be run by everyone else. She was glad that John was being honest with them, but at the same time, she wished he hadn't said a word.

Sometimes, ignorance could be bliss.

"How soon can we get that flat, John?" Sirius asked, all business.

"I'll work on it right away. You should be safe for the time being in your flat until I can get all the paperwork out of the way. The storm should keep everyone out for at least the next three days – at most a week. That should give me enough time."

Sirius nodded. "Great. I'll speak with Dumbledore tomorrow." He took Lily's hand again and then he pulled her against him in a one-arm hug.

John appraised them both. "Don't worry too much about arrangements for now. I'll take care of everything I can."

"We really appreciate it, John."

The man shook his head in amusement. "I know. What would you do without me?"

Mood considerably lighter, the three of them went about the task of cleaning up the kitchen. John and Sirius worked on washing the dishes while Lily concentrated on wiping the table, stove and countertops down. She didn't pay much attention to their conversation (it had something to do with the legal issues); she thought about her current situation.

Sirius and John were both going out of their way to help her and she had no way to contribute back. While she was grateful for their concern, she was a big burden on the two of them.

The feeling got worse when they returned to Sirius' flat and he told her to sleep on the bed, insisting that he would be fine sleeping on the floor. Her protests went unheard. "What kind of a gentleman would I be if I made a lady sleep on the floor?" he demanded, in good-natured disdain. "You'll make me look bad, sweetheart. And besides, when we get the new flat, I'll be sure to get a pull-out. This arrangement is only temporary."

Lily bit her bottom lip, watching as Sirius began to spread blankets between the bed and his motorcycle. As he worked at his makeshift bed, she reached behind her and grabbed his pillow. When she handed it to him, he stopped what he was doing, looking up as though he had just thought of something. "Would you prefer it if I stayed at John's?" At her questioning frown, he told her, "I thought you might feel uncomfortable with a guy staying in the same room as you."

She clenched her fists in her lap. "I…I want you to stay with me." She quickly added, "I'm scared…"

A look of understanding crossed his face. "I can leave the door open if you want," he offered. "There's nothing to be afraid of. I told you last night, I'll be right here if you need me."

Lily offered him a grateful smile and he gestured for her to lie down. "I know you've done a lot of resting lately," Sirius said, crouching next to the side of the bed, "but it's late and as much as I'd love to stay up and chat with you, I need some rest too." He proceeded to pull her blankets up for her. "Besides," he whispered, "we're both going to need as much strength as possible for the next couple of weeks."

They stared at each other for a while, Sirius' hand rubbing her shoulder reassuringly. "We're going to miss the Christmas Feast," Lily said. "I know you wanted to go…"

"That's all right. I never went last year either and it didn't kill me," Sirius said, with a shrug.

Lily caught his hand in hers and held it tight. "Does that mean I can't draw you, anymore?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. Of all the things she was concerned with! "You can still draw me," he assured her. They both fell silent again, thinking their own thoughts before Sirius decided to retire.

Lily watched him settle in, her eyes drinking in the details of the fluidity of his movements. He was like water, like air, solid and strong like stone. Words could not express how perfect he was. When she drew him, she wanted to capture his essence on paper somehow. She wanted the world to see what she saw.

As if sensing her appraisal, Sirius turned on his side to give her a sleepy smile and his hand darted out from beneath his blankets to capture hers once again. "Stop worrying," he said, squeezing her hand emphatically. "Everything will work out, you'll see."

"Do you really think so?"

He withdrew, bundling himself tightly under his blankets like a cocoon. "I know so," he said, confidently.

**0-0-0-0-0**

"So you see, Dumbledore…"

"Ah, that's '_Professor_', Mr. Evans."

Perry gave Dumbledore a blank look that caused the Headmaster to wonder if he was sober. "I'm not a Professor."

Dumbledore hid his smile behind his hand as he pretended to cough, successfully masking his chuckle at his visitor's expense. "I meant you may call me Professor as do all my students. As do all their parents. As does the whole community."

Evans reddened which told Dumbledore that he had gotten the message: respect was in order. He leaned forward in his chair, making the leather creak. "Whatever. Professor." He sounded impatient. His left leg jiggled and he glanced outside the window where snow was still falling in earnest. "Look. I want you to inform me immediately if my niece sets foot at your school. She's - "

"-been missing for three days. Yes, I know. You told me that six times already," Dumbledore said, folding his hands together on his desk. "Have you called the police?"

"Yes, I have, but it's taken me a while because of the storm and all." Again, his leg started to jiggle.

"I understand that you're worried," Dumbledore said, "but you need to calm down." A dark look passed over Perry's face and Dumbledore quickly added, "Calm down and think: do you have any idea where she might have decided to go?"

The dark look did not disappear. In fact, it quickly turned into a scowl and the flush that rose to Perry's cheeks made him look like he had been holding his breath for too long. "If I knew, I wouldn't be here."

Dumbledore did not shy away from him, merely gave him a glare. "And you're certain one of my students is involved in this?"

"Yes!" Perry practically shouted. His voice seemed to echo, vibrating through the pages of every book stacked on their shelves. Dumbledore glanced to them briefly as if afraid they might fall from their places before returning his gaze to the man in front of him.

In truth, he didn't like Perry. He didn't like the way he seemed so nervous, so edgy. Having taught students for almost twenty years, it took a lot to ruffle Dumbledore, but this man managed to do just that within seconds of walking into his office. He was pretty good at detecting when someone was lying, but this man did not give him a hint at all.

The perfect poker face.

That in itself gave reason for Dumbledore to suspect him.

The worst part was, Perry had evidence - the gash on the side of his head spoke volumes of assault. Still, there was something more than the story he had been told.

Dumbledore stood, taking a moment to adjust his half-moon spectacles on his nose before moving to stand by the window. "Let me get this straight. You think one of my students broke and entered into your house, sexually assaulted your niece and then assaulted you."  
"That little fuck attacked me when he was caught red-handed!" Perry interjected. "Knocked me right out, he did!"

"I'd appreciate it if you would watch your tongue, Mr. Evans," Dumbledore said, in the pleasant voice he used with students. He didn't need to raise his voice to show his displeasure. Even though he didn't turn to see it, Dumbledore was more than certain the man squirmed in his seat. "Do you know what this student looked like?"

Perry wanted to throw something at the Headmaster but he managed to refrain himself. "Of course I do! He's some hoodlum who rides a motorcycle."

For a moment, Dumbledore's breath caught in his throat. Sirius' image came instantly to mind but he smoothly turned to face his company. "There are plenty of students within this city who ride a motorcycle, Mr. Evans."

"I know he is a student from this Academy. I believe that he not only raped Lily but he's kidnapped her, too."

"Now, that's a serious accusation."

"An accusation that's valid!" Perry got out of his seat and strode toward Dumbledore. He was a good head shorter than the Headmaster, but was still somehow able to level with him as he stuck his face close. "If you hide him, Professor, believe me that I will do anything and everything in my power to make sure that this school gets closed down and that you will be on the streets begging for money."

Dumbledore kept his voice neutral. "Are you…threatening me, Evans?"

Perry showed his teeth. Yellow. Gaping. Crooked. "I'm warning you."

Straightening to his full height, Dumbledore dusted his clothing. He hoped the smell of Perry's cologne didn't stick to him as well. The stuff smelled horrible. The motion made Perry back off. "I will contact you immediately if Miss Evans decides to grace our school once again with her presence. I will not – cannot – believe that one of my students is guilty of such a crime."

"I hope you're not suggesting that I'm lying."

Dumbledore's smile was as cold as a winter's night. "I hope you aren't."

"Believe it or not, he will pay," Perry promised, vehemently. "He will _pay._ I want my niece back." He stormed toward the doorway and flung it open.

"Perhaps," Dumbledore's voice stopped his furious guest mid-stride, "she doesn't want to come back."

He whipped around, eyes bulging, his meaty hands, clenched tightly into fists, on his hips. "What do you know?"

Ah.

A crack in the mask.

Dumbledore was no longer in the mood to be pleasant. While he was not the type to lose his cool, he dropped his smile, now. "The question really is: what aren't you telling me, Mr. Evans?"

Perry's mouth opened and closed, speechless. It reminded Dumbledore of the time when he had been a little boy and his goldfish met with an unfortunate fate. His brother had accidentally hit a baseball into the aquarium and sadly, his pet died. His face was flushed red again. "There's nothing else to say, Dumbledore," he finally said, through gritted teeth.

"That's '_Professor_', Mr. Evans. I won't repeat myself again. Now get out."

His answer was the door slamming shut.

**To Be Continued…

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**

**AN:** I hope the New Year will bring even more inspiration and happiness to everyone! Thanks for the awesome support and reviews that you've given me this year and I'll see you in the next.

Once again, thanks for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


	21. Putting Up Walls

**GENUINE GEMINI by: P.P.V.V.**

_Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim Applies… all original characters are mine to claim.

* * *

_

**AN**: Well, as always, this is as good as it's going to get.

Happy New Year.

* * *

_Previously:_

_"That kid will pay," Perry promised, vehemently. "He will pay. I want my niece back." He stormed toward the doorway and flung it open._

_"Perhaps," Dumbledore's voice stopped his furious guest mid-stride, "she doesn't want to come back."_

_He whipped around, eyes bulging, his meaty hands, clenched tightly into fists, on his hips. "What do you know?"_

_Ah._

_A crack in the mask._

_Dumbledore was no longer in the mood to be pleasant. While he was not the type to lose his cool, he dropped his smile, now. "The question really is: what aren't you telling me, Mr. Evans?"_

_Perry's mouth opened and closed, speechless. His face was flushed red again. "There's nothing else to say, Dumbledore," he finally said, through gritted teeth._

_"That's 'Professor', Mr. Evans. I won't repeat myself again. Now get out."_

_His answer was the door slamming shut._

* * *

**Chapter 22**

**- Putting Up Walls -**

Sirius stamped his foot twice from the snow on his boot. Behind him, John copied the action. The two of them had just finished shoveling the walkway leading to their apartment complex after Mrs. Fletcher threatened to sue if she fell and broke her neck on it. Sirius had volunteered to help out, especially knowing the weight John had pulled for him in his favor.

It had been two weeks since the move and Lily and Sirius had settled down nicely into their new apartment. Christmas and New Years had been spent in relative quiet, their only visitors (aside from John, of course) Remus and Bellatrix, the latter too polite to show his shock at Lily's battered condition. They celebrated everything by bringing over groceries and some much needed clothes and necessities for Lily.

In the weeks following the celebrations, Sirius left Lily alone for the better part of the days because he was forced to go to school and to work, but she didn't mind too much: for Christmas, Sirius had gifted her with an easel and paints so her time was occupied with her artwork.

He still couldn't help but feel guilty at leaving her to her own devices. Dumbledore had been adamant that Lily get police clearance before coming back to school, so, having no choice, Sirius had had to drop by the station with her to file the case.

"So, what did the police say?" John demanded, rubbing his hands together.

Sirius leaned the shovel he had used against the doorway and proceeded to dust his hair and shoulders off. "Well…apparently, Perry got to them first. He wants a restraining order put on me," Sirius said. "But after they saw Lily's injuries, they weren't too sure about his credibility. They're going to conduct an investigation – and of course, we're all going to be going to court to settle this."

"And Lily?"

"The police wanted to take her into custody, but I…pulled a couple of strings."

John reached out to grab Sirius' shoulder catching the hitch to his tone and not liking it. "What strings?"

Sirius looked at him coolly. "I spoke with my father."

Surprised, John let his hand drop. "What?"

Sirius turned abruptly, but not before John caught the angry flashes in his eyes. "I spoke with my father," he repeated, but this time around, his voice had a hard edge to it.

"And?"

"And I promised him that I would go back to live with him and learn to be the proper heir," Sirius said, through gritted teeth.

John stared after the younger man as he began to stalk toward his newly designated quarters. He shook himself out of his shock and hurried to catch up. "Sirius! Wait!"

Again, Sirius turned to face him and John knew that the agreement Sirius had made was one that he resented. His jaw was set and his frown was one of disapproval that beseeched his friend to leave the topic alone. "Look, I know I'm pushing it, but…what was the deal?"

Seeing that John wouldn't let the issue drop, Sirius obliged him with an answer. "The deal was so that Lily could stay under my father's watchful eye until the case is over," Sirius' voice was now quiet, resigned. "He's got a good reputation. I guess that comes in handy. He's going to take care of everything – lawyers, therapists, accommodations – so long as I keep my end of the bargain." He seemed to be pleading with him.

"I jumped at the opportunity, John. You were right – this is too complicated. I can't protect her alone. At least this way, I won't always be wondering if that man or his cronies are going to pop up at any second. I'm constantly worried to let Lily out of my sight.

"This way, at least I know she'll be safe. I don't want to be jumping at every sound that I hear. With my history, you know how I can get when I get nervous." He paused for a moment before adding, "I don't want her to be afraid any more either."

John listened and did not respond, knowing that Sirius was not one to admit weakness and did not want words of comfort. The choice must have been hard, but it had been made.

Somehow, John had always known that it would come down to Sirius trading his freedom for Lily's.

It wasn't fair.

But then again, life was never fair.

Before they entered Sirius' flat, John snagged Sirius' sleeve to stop him. "Are you sure about this, Sirius? Are you going to be okay?"

Once again, Sirius shot him a cool look. "I will be," he promised.

With that, he let himself inside and beckoned for John to follow.

Inside, Lily was hovering over the oven. When she heard their voices, she turned to beam them a dazzling smile.

Sirius seemed to melt under it as he crossed over to give her a quick kiss. "You're just in time," she informed them, ushering them over to the tiny table that they had set up. "I tried my hand at making a meatloaf and it's almost done."

The new flat was a tad bigger than the original one, because they had managed to squeeze in a pull-out sofa in addition to a new twin-sized mattress and stand. Utilities in this apartment were fully functional and Lily made good use of them: her home-cooked meals were to die for.  
John watched as Sirius made a show of rubbing his stomach. "Aw, Lils, I dunno if I want to be part of an experiment today…"

Her answer was to stick her tongue out, playfully. "Then you can just watch John and I eat while you go hungry."

Her retort caused both men to laugh.

Fat chance of that happening: Sirius never turned down a meal.

As they waited for the food to finish baking, they drank some tea and chatted about the weather – the topic that always seemed the safest to tread. It was the most common, most blasé thing they could talk about, but it was also something they did not mind doing, especially after troubling news.

It soon became evident to John that Lily was in the dark about Sirius' agreement with his father. When she spoke about being with Sirius until the case was over, she made it sound as though they would be staying in the apartment. Sirius did not dissuade the idea, but John could tell that the mere thought of leaving the place was depressing him.

The boy was unsuccessful at hiding it efficiently though, because Lily picked up on it, demanding, "Sirius? Is there something wrong?"

He gave her a bleak smile. "It's nothing. I'm out of sorts today, that's all."

That seemed to effectively distract her because she instantly leaned over to press the back of her hand against his forehead. "It must be because you've been spending long periods of time in the cold," she scolded. "Have another cup of tea."

As she went through the motions, Sirius met John's eye and silently pleaded for the man to keep his mouth shut about whatever they had discussed earlier. And although John didn't like it, he discretely gave him a nod.

Sirius seemed to relax after that and when the meal was served, he tucked in eagerly.

John watched the two, amused. Sirius was putty in Lily's presence and Lily seemed to have recovered quite well from the incident two weeks ago. She was a bright creature – it was easy to see why Sirius had fallen in love with her. She was quiet and shy but despite her struggles she was spirited.

Nothing, it seemed, could break her.

Before the end of the meal, both Sirius and John looked up when Lily stood. "Where are you going?" the former asked.

"I'm taking out the garbage," Lily answered.

John began to get out of his seat. "I can do it," he offered, but Lily shook her head. "I'm perfectly capable. Let me help out." So, reluctantly, John sat back down. The first time he had found out about Sirius' sickness had been right next to the garbage chute which was made of glass, so he wasn't surprised when Sirius did not volunteer to do the task.

As soon as she left, John cast his tenant a withering glare. "You can't keep it from her forever, you know."

Sirius ducked his head. "I wasn't going to. She doesn't know the whole story anyway, so it won't bother her as much as it bothers me."

John leaned back in his seat, heavily. "Kid…"

"It's not like I'm lying to her or anything!" Sirius protested. "I'm just not telling her everything. If it makes it easier for us to cope, then half-truths are good enough."

To his surprise, John conceded and left it at that. He almost wished he hadn't because the topic turned to one that Sirius did not want to think about at all. "Is this Don fellow going to be trouble?" John demanded.

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "What _about_ Don?"

John glowered. "That scene in the lobby the other day. I'm not stupid, Sirius. It's clear he wasn't invited. What was that all about?"

The memory of Don standing in the lobby with that familiar smirk on his face was enough to make Sirius' blood boil. How the hell had he gotten his address? "It's none of your business, that's what," Sirius snarled.

"Suddenly, I'm not very fond of you, kid."

"Well, golly!"

John slammed his hands on the top of the table, causing Sirius to jump. "Damn it, Sirius! I'm trying to help you!"

The two glared at each other and were cut off when Lily re-entered. She froze in mid step, the tension in the room so thick that she was certain she'd be able to touch it. How they'd managed to get to hostile in such a short amount of time was beyond her, and it was downright scary.

"S-sorry. I forgot to get the other bag," she stuttered, indicating the last garbage bag that still lay by the entrance.

Not looking over at her, still glaring evenly at Sirius, John bit out, "I'll do it." He got up abruptly, and stormed toward the doorway, grabbing the garbage on his way out.

Frightened, Lily backed away and let him pass, before tentatively stepping back inside the apartment. "Is…everything all right?"

Sirius ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated and chose not to answer.

It was rare that he and John got into arguments. Over time, both men had learned to cool off before confronting the matter that they had blown up at each other about. This time around, however, Sirius fervently hoped that the matter would not be discussed ever again.

Seeming to sense his withdrawal, Lily did not push the issue. Instead, set her hand on his back to let him know that she was willing to listen if he wanted to confide in her. He seemed to relax a little under her touch and he gave her a grateful smile but chose not to divulge.

So she left him to brood over his thoughts while she cleaned up the remainder of their lunch.

Once she was finished, Lily sat down behind her easel, staring at the blank page in front of her with a frown.

She often liked to try her hand at drawing him when he was sleeping because it was then that he was less likely to move around. And besides, she thought he was cute. When he slept, she was reminded of the painting in the art museum – he was carefree and relaxed.

All of her attempts thus far at capturing the real essence of Sirius had not worked.

How on earth had Lucretia Prewitt done it?

She peeked over at Sirius to see him morosely flipping through one of his many motorcycle magazines.

It was surprisingly easy to live with him. She'd figured it out fairly quickly that he disliked bright lights and did not know a thing about keeping house. He was more than willing to help out with whatever she asked him to do. Recently, he had even begun to do the dishes without thinking twice. In many ways, Sirius reminded her of a child who was eager to please everyone around him. It saddened her to think that his attempts were never acknowledged by others.

From the way he was slouched, Lily could tell that his mind was elsewhere, like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Despite his aloof attitude, she was beginning to get better at reading between the cracks. She knew for a fact that it wasn't that he was coming down sick. He was bothered by something.

"Do I have something on my face?"

His sudden question, directed at her, made her start.

The smile that spread upon his lips came a beat too late.

Lily found she could not smile back and her right hand closed itself tight around the handle of one of her paintbrushes. She blurted the first thing on her mind. "Was the argument about me?"

"Argument?"

She scowled at his poor attempt at feigned incredulity. "Yes," she said, resolutely, unwilling to be suckered into leaving it at that. The way his smile did not reach his eyes made her heart pound. "The one you had with John just a moment ago. Was it about me?"

Sirius considered her for a moment, his face going carefully blank. Lily had to wonder what was going on in his head and she feared she had chosen the wrong time to push for information. Finally, he said softly, "Sweetheart, as much as you are the center of my universe, this fight wasn't about you."

That funny little nickname made her ease up slightly. He closed the magazine and pushed it across the table, away from him before getting up and stretching. "Is there anything I can do to help?" she asked.

He shook his head. "No." This time, when he smiled, it was one of reassurance. "Don't worry about it." He crossed over to the bathroom, announcing that he was going to take a shower and go to bed.

As the door closed behind him, Lily couldn't help but think about the daunting task of tearing down the walls Sirius liked to build around him.

Struck with a sudden inspiration, she reached over and plunged her brush into the waiting paint.

**0-0-0-0-0**

"James would you please pick your jaw up off the ground?" Sirius hissed, nudging his friend nervously with his elbow. They had just entered the library for a study session. Heads turned as James stopped dead in his tracks at the entrance at the news that one of the members of their motor club was actually going to be considered for a sponsored team.

And not just any sponsored team.

In all honesty, Sirius couldn't blame James for his reaction.

_The Marauders_ were climbing in ranks quickly, led by a budding star racer who went by the name Donovan Verovich.

Seeing him race was like watching a lightning bolt flash through the sky. His speed was amazing.

"I can't believe it," James whispered back, trying in vain to control his excitement. His hazel eyes were sparkling in anticipation. "Yaxley has an audition?"

Sirius nodded. "Saw the letter myself," he confirmed. He rolled his eyes at the way James was practically swooning. "It's not like _we_ are going to meet him or anything," Sirius said. He led them through the glass partition and between the sensors that were posted to keep students from taking books out of the library without registering them at the desk first.

There was a light breeze coming from above as the air conditioner whirred, working double time to bring relief from the stuffy feeling of crowded bodies and early summer heat. Sirius supposed that that was the main reason why people had come to the library in the first place – to cool off from the rays of the sun as opposed to studying. Hell, it was the last place he wanted to be but because his History marks weren't the greatest and neither were James', they were forced by the school councilor to join the study session that the teacher had arranged.

Despite the fact that people had made it a place to lounge about, it was still the library, so people were having conversations in hushed whispers. Those who were actually studying were to be found on the higher levels where more of the books and materials were located.

Eyes followed the pair as they weaved their way to the stairs and up to the third floor.

Even though they were only in their second year at the school, they were hard to miss, popular as they had inadvertently become. Sirius Black, notorious for his flippant remarks, careless attitude and flirtatious ways did not seem to be interested in any one girl. He was approachable and he quickly made friends. He was much more outgoing than his ever-present brother. Handsome, smart, and reserved, James Potter was more of a mystery. His easy smile made it difficult for girls to gather their thoughts and for fights to last very long. Both boys were good at sports, friendly and far from stupid but they mostly kept to themselves. Of close friends, there were few.

Yes, everyone knew the Twins.

Rumors of their history had circulated. Some even went so far as to pronounce the two as a couple rather than family.

If they were bothered by their fame and the stories, they didn't show it. In fact, they did not seem to notice the stares and whispers that floated about them as they hurried toward the appointed room where they were being forced to spend an hour and a half to review for their upcoming exams.

James grumbled beneath his breath, "I don't see why History is so important."

Sirius laughed quietly. "Neither do I, but Father will positively grill us if we don't get better grades this term."

"Do you really think he'll confiscate our motorcycles?" James asked, for to him, that would be the ultimate punishment.

Sirius came to a stop outside of the study hall. "He always makes that threat," he said, making sure to keep his voice down. "And not to rub it in or anything, you have more at stake than I do – if he takes away the bikes, there's no way Rude will consider you as anything more than his spare."

It was a topic that James was particularly sore over. While Rude's team was not exactly sponsored by big companies, it was becoming popular in the smaller racing circles. Sirius had been drafted after his very first trial while James had only managed to secure a position as a spare. While he was upset over the fact that he had not made the cut, James had been gracious enough to be happy for Sirius. Everyone knew that Sirius was the better rider between the two of them. If Yaxley was going to be absorbed by Donovan's team that meant James had a very good chance of becoming a regular on Rude's.

James heaved a sigh and Sirius gave him a clap on the shoulder before entering the room.

They were early, which was a good sign and as they waited for the tutor to show up as well as any other student stragglers, they discussed their plans for that Saturday. They had been invited to watch Yaxley's audition and it was all they could do to focus on the mundane topic of History.

Emmaline Jackson, a seventh year student, walked in, interrupting both boys. Upon seeing them, she scowled. "If it isn't the terrible duo," she said, drily.

James scowled right back. Sirius slouched in his seat, tapping his pencil against his textbook and shooting her his most alluring smile. "Jackson, don't pretend you aren't thrilled to see us."

She was a Prefect, a teacher's pet, and beautiful. She was tall with long blond hair that curled at the ends naturally. Somehow, she managed to make the horrible uniform colors look good on her. All in all, she was an intimidating being.

"I'm not," she snapped, throwing her books onto the desk closest to the front of the room. "Professor Engles asked me to tutor, so here I am. And no, Black, I will not go out with you," she added, before Sirius could even ask.

Sirius laughed aloud, delighted at her quick wit, and even James had to crack a smile.

They waited a few moments more to see if there was anyone else who had been assigned to the session before the lesson began.

She had a no-nonsense attitude, coolly brushing off any advances that Sirius made and managing to poke fun at James whenever she had the chance. Not one to back down, James returned the banter, albeit coldly.

"I think that went well," Sirius announced, at the end of the session as soon as she stormed out of the class.

"I think she hates me," James said ruefully, with a shake of his head.

"It's because you get so serious," his friend said, as he stacked his books together. "She was only joking around with you, you know. There wasn't a need to get so nasty."

"I can't help it," James all but whined. "You know I'm not as good with the girls as you are, mate. I get all uncomfortable and defensive. And besides, if she really did like me, why does she have to be so arrogant?"

Sirius pondered on that for a moment before shrugging one shoulder. "You're wrong if you think I know how a woman's mind works. All I know is that you've got to lighten up a little, man. Like I said, you're always way too serious."

He waited for James' characteristic, stubborn response of, "I can't afford to be distracted," and was surprised when it didn't come. Instead, a pensive look had taken precedence over the raven-haired boy's face in place of the earlier scowl.

That look changed into pure surprise when the boys got to the tracks that afternoon. It was packed so full that Sirius and James could hardly get through. What was going on?

Getting closer to the scene, they realized that the galleries were filling up with spectators. On the track field stood five glossy black motorcycles that proudly held the emblem of _The Marauders_. Another beautiful blue motorcycle was parked right in the middle of them all and on it, was none other than Donovan Verovich.

This time, Sirius was certain his jaw hit the floor, too.

"It's only Tuesday," spluttered James, his hazel eyes wide behind their frames.

"Maybe we got the date wrong?" Sirius wondered.

Rude and Yaxley were the only other two from their team who were there, looking just as stunned as Sirius and James felt. "You won't believe it," Rude started to say, but then Yaxley interrupted with, "There's going to be a race!"

"Are you joining today?" Sirius demanded.

"No. It's still scheduled for Saturday, but since word got out that Verovich and _The Marauders_ are in town, people are expecting to see some action. It's an open floor for any racers today," Yaxley said.

James stood on tiptoe, shielding his eyes as he tried to see Donovan over the growing crowd. "An open floor…" he murmured, incredulously. He couldn't believe his luck. He'd be able to see Donovan in action twice in the same week.

"It's kind of…intimidating," Sirius said, scanning the crowds as well. "I never thought there would be so many people who were interested in racing."

Rude huffed. "You'd be surprised, kid."

James gave up trying to search for the man and turned to face them. "I thought we booked the track today for a time run?"

Rude shook his head. "When Verovich and his team came over to scout the track out for the auditions this Saturday, the galleries started filling fast. There wasn't anything we could do."

Sirius furrowed his eyebrows. "Well, that's not fair. We paid for it. Verovich's just going to have to leave off for a moment or two while we practice."

"Practice for what, little boy?"

The four of them looked up to see the very man walking toward them, his helmet neatly tucked at his side, his other hand idly twisting the stub of his earring.

In rudimental terms, Verovich looked _cool_.

His very being screamed the fact that he was a racer. He wore the standard leather outfit that clung to him like a second skin. His casual slope, dark hair and dark eyes made him seem like a predator. Something about this man seemed dark and dangerous.

Thrill.

Enticement.

Power.

Beside him, Sirius heard James squeak in dismay and Sirius felt himself flush, not because he had been caught in his rant on the injustice, but because of the way he had just been insulted.

Before he could even retort, Verovich turned to Rude. "You looking to recruit babies, Parkinson?"

Who would have known he could be such an asshole? "We're fifteen," Sirius said, heatedly.

Verovich regarded him with his dark eyes. "Like I said, babies."

Sirius shot back, "I'm on the _team_. And as far as I know, at my age, that's one up on you."

At that, the man's eye twitched.

James, knowing a fight when he saw one, reached out to snag Sirius' arm, shaking his head. He hissed, "Are you out of your mind?" Beside them, Yaxley and Rude stared in shock at the instant hostility that the two displayed.

To everyone's surprise, Don backed down, smirking. "Don't worry. Us big boys won't take over your play time." He gestured with his helmet in a mocking way to the track beyond them. "Go ahead and have your hour or two before we show you how it's _really_ done." He turned abruptly, his long hair whipping around with him as he began to stalk off.

Sirius curled his lip over his teeth in a snarl at his retreating back. "I hope you can."

Don froze in his steps, the leather outfit he wore, while not practical for the weather conditions was practical for racing, creaked. "_What_ did you say?"

Heart pounding in his ears and blood racing through his veins, Sirius boldly took a step forward. "You heard me." He could feel James' hand on his arm, squeezing in earnest, but he ignored it. "Unless you're scared of a one-on-one."

A snake-like smile spread across Don's lips as he turned to face Sirius again. "Challenge accepted, little boy." He leaned his face closer so that Sirius could smell the faint tinge of tobacco on his breath. "A formal race. Just you and me."

Incredulously, Rude demanded "A formal race? Now? Verovich, you can't just - !"

Verovich interrupted him with an impatient wave of his hand. "Of course, not now. He'll bite my dust. It wouldn't be fair." He turned his sneer back to Sirius. "The Saturday after auditions. It will give you time to quake in your diapers if not wet them."

Mouth dry as dust, Sirius did not let his nervousness show, choosing to let his taunt slide. "I'll be there."

Don laughed, sending shivers down their spines. "Practice while you can." He indicated the race tracks with a nod of his head. "The floor is yours. I hope you don't lose, little boy." He stretched out his hand to close the deal, his dark eyes sparkling in both mockery and excitement.

Seething, Sirius grabbed it, pumping it once, hard. "Don't worry," he said, through gritted teeth. "I won't. And my name is Sirius Black."

Again, Don laughed. "I'll remember," he promised. He turned to leave just as the crowd began to turn heads and wonder what was going on. Sirius and his group watched him and when he was effectively hidden by the crowd again, Yaxley rounded on the youngest member of their team. "Have you gone crazy? If Verovich wipes the floor with you, no sponsored team will ever take you on!"

Sirius merely shoved his helmet on, snapping the visor shut. "That's simple then: I just have to win."

Beside him, and to everyone's dismay, James laughed, pulling his helmet on as well before leaping atop his bike. "And here you call _me_ serious!"

* * *

**Retreat, retreat! Shut yourself inside**

**Where the lights are dim and not so bright

* * *

**

Sirius opened his eyes, his head pounding in time with his heart. It hurt like hell - almost as bad as when he got a hangover. He was thankful that the lights weren't on or he was sure he wouldn't be able to quell the sudden nausea that settled on his stomach.

He realized, belatedly, that he was sweating, and that Lily was sitting up in her bed, staring at him, worriedly.

"Are you all right?" she asked, but her words seemed to echo around him, as his breath left his lungs and his mind fought to remain conscious. Her mouth was forming more words, but he couldn't concentrate.

The dream…

Memories.

He remembered.

"Sirius?" Her voice was louder now, by his ear. "Oh my god! Sirius?"

His hands groped, blindly, to hold on to something as the world tilted. It met with the material of her pajamas and strands of her hair. He gasped her name, and he felt her hand on his chest.

"It's okay," she told him, her voice wavering in panic. She crouched by his body that had painfully crumpled onto the ground. "It's all right. Just breathe."

He tried. He really did. But the memories were there, stronger and more traumatizing by the second. Desperately, he fought back the blackness by trying to concentrate on Lily's voice. It invaded his vision and his mind like a searing fire. Unable to keep up the fight, he fell back against the floor, unconscious.

* * *

**To Be Continued…

* * *

**

**AN:** So we get to see a little James again. And Don, too. It's like a shattered puzzle so you'll all have to bear with me and try to piece it together. I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for all your support and patience when it comes to me and my writing. Cheers, everyone! Please drop me a note or two on your thoughts/ideas if you'd be so kind. Until next update,

Thanks for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


	22. Asking The Impossible

**GENUINE GEMINI by: P.P.V.V.**

_Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim applies…all original characters/ideas are mine to claim.

* * *

_

**AN:** I managed to find the inspiration for this chapter, at last. Reading inspiring fics and books can do that to me. Reading inspiring reviews can do that to me, too. And eating a personalized ice cream cake can make a world of difference.

It was tasty.

Onwards.

* * *

_**Previously: **_

_Sirius opened his eyes, his head pounding in time with his heart. It hurt like hell - almost as bad as when he got a hangover. He was thankful that the lights weren't on or he was sure he wouldn't be able to quell the sudden nausea that settled on his stomach._

_He realized, belatedly, that he was sweating, and that Lily was sitting up in her bed, staring at him, worriedly._

_"Are you all right?" she asked, but her words seemed to echo around him, as his breath left his lungs and his mind fought to remain conscious. Her mouth was forming more words, but he couldn't concentrate._

_The dream…_

_Memories._

_He remembered._

_"Sirius?" Her voice was louder now, by his ear. "Oh my god! Sirius?"_

_His hands groped, blindly, to hold on to something as the world tilted. It met with the material of her pajamas and strands of her hair. He gasped her name, and he felt her hand on his chest._

_"It's okay," she told him, her voice wavering in panic. She crouched by his body that had painfully crumpled onto the ground. "It's all right. Just breathe."_

_He tried. He really did. But the memories were there, stronger and more traumatizing by the second. Desperately, he fought back the blackness by trying to concentrate on Lily's voice. It invaded his vision and his mind like a searing fire. Unable to keep up the fight, he fell back against the floor, unconscious._

* * *

**Chapter 22**

**- Asking The Impossible -**

Lily started in surprise when Sirius suddenly jerked awake, his whole body convulsing, his hands reaching out as though lost. A whimper escaped his throat and he tried to inhale as much air as possible while trying at the same time to speak.

"Shhh…baby, it's okay," Lily murmured, letting her left hand trail through his dark hair in a soothing way. "I'm right here." As she spoke, she eased him back down, her fingers continuously threading themselves through the strands.

Sirius eyes fluttered open at the sound of her voice, focusing on her face before he closed them again with a sigh. He pressed his own face against her stomach, inching his trembling body closer to hers.

Somehow, Lily had managed to get him back onto the sofa bed. After his sudden spell last night, she had been fearful to leave him by himself so she had wedged herself onto it with him. She kept her right hand over his chest to make sure he would start breathing again. Thankfully, he had, but she still did not leave him, waiting for him to regain consciousness.

She'd been convinced that Sirius was fast asleep and had been drifting off herself when he'd awoken.

Checking to make sure his breathing was steady and that his pulse was fine, Lily leaned back against his pillows again, trying to get comfortable in the position he had placed them in. Somehow, it didn't bug her to be in the same bed as him. The way he clung to her was not in lust, but as a child would cling to his parents after having a bad dream.

Had that been the cause of the sudden black out?

A bad dream?

Slowly, his trembling came to a stop, but she could still feel his labored breathing through the material of her pajamas. She combed his hair back absently and it seemed to put him at ease because it started leveling out. "That's it," Lily urged, "go to sleep."

Sirius mumbled something – her name, possibly – before obeying her command. He clung to her for the rest of the night.

* * *

**Thoughts are like water; continuously flowing, sometimes without direction**

**Memories are like fragments of glass; never the same, and if not careful, painful to touch

* * *

**

James glanced up from his book, to stare at the symbol that was dangling in front of his face. The way that it swung back and forth was almost hypnotizing, and he wasn't able to see it clearly. "What is it?"

"See for yourself!"

So James snatched it and turned his palm up to have a look.

"Sirius. Jewelry? I didn't know you were into that stuff."

"Not for me, for you, idiot. A present."

James made to toss it back at him but decided to get a closer look at the necklace instead. "And what makes you think _I'm_ into that stuff?"

Sirius snorted, bounding over the bed and sliding down to sit next to his friend. "Someone was too chicken-shit to get a tattoo," he taunted.

Book now forgotten, James turned to glare at him. "We're underage. It's illegal to get a tattoo."

He wasn't very surprised when Sirius reached down and proceeded to peel his shirt off to present his back. There, on his left shoulder blade, was a tattoo of the exact same figure that he held in his hand.

The symbol of the Gemini.

"Shit," breathed James and Sirius gave him a triumphant smile. "Shit, are you out of you mind?"

The smile did not go away and James shook his head in resignation. Sirius was always one to go against the rules. He must have somehow coerced the tattooist into doing it. He had just turned thirteen for heaven's sake! He stared at the symbol that seemed to glow on his skin before tentatively reaching over and tracing it.

Yep. It was real, all right. For a moment, he'd hoped that Sirius might have just been pulling his leg and had used one of those stick-on tattoos. Curiosity and admiration replaced his earlier admonition. "Did it hurt?"

Sirius shrugged his shoulder, unable to wipe the smile of his face. Good old James! He was never one to hold a grudge. "A little," he admitted.

James let his hand drop and proceeded to gaze at the same symbol that was on his pendant. "Why all of a sudden?"

Sirius snagged the chain from him. "Why? Because now we really _are _brothers," he announced. "I heard it from mother. She was talking to your solicitor – you're going to be staying here permanently!"

The news was not received as Sirius thought it would be. Instead of excited joy on James' features, tears glistened in his eyes. His parents had died the summer of last year and ever since then, he'd been staying with the Blacks because he had no other family. The only other choice would have been to stay at an orphanage.

Sirius cleared his throat. "Sorry, mate. Didn't mean to remind you…maybe it's too soon?"

James sniffed and shook his head, embarrassed for his sudden display of weakness. "No…it's okay. I'm happy, Sirius. I really am. It's just that…"

"You aren't going to be a new person," Sirius told him, as though reading his mind. "You're still going to be you. You don't have to change your name or anything."

"Are your parents really okay with this?" James asked, running his hands through his hair in that nervous fashion he always had.

Sirius nodded, moving over slightly so that his shoulder was pressed right up against James' in a gesture of comfort and camaraderie. He spoke in a whisper, "Sure they are. They wouldn't have fought so hard to adopt you if they weren't, right? And besides, they've always thought of you as a son. We've been together for forever and a day. They'd be mad if they tried to separate us."

James finally cracked a smile. For a long time, both boys sat in silence, thinking their own thoughts. When at last he did decide to speak, he merely stated, "I can't believe it. It's almost too good to be true."

Sirius pushed himself off the floor and clambered onto the bed above them. It had been designated James' so long as he remained there – it would remain James' from then on. "It's called fate. Destiny. Right from the start," he announced. He lowered the necklace, clasp unhooked, in front of James again. "To us. To you. Happy birthday, James."

James allowed him to attach the chain around his neck with a chuckle. Sirius' flair was something he could count on. "Happy birthday, Sirius."

"I think Mother wanted the news to be a surprise," Sirius said, once finished, resting his chin against the soft flannel blanket. It was a dark blue in color, and smelled of detergent: it had probably just come from the wash.

His friend laughed, stretching over to the side to retrieve his fallen book again. "I'll keep that in mind."

Sirius made a sound that was a cross between a huff and a growl, playfully shoving James' unruly head forward with his free hand before sitting up. "See you at the party, then. And don't forget to act surprised."

James nodded, absently twirling the symbol of the Gemini in his hand.

Fate.

Destiny.

Right from the start.

**0-0-0-0-0**

When Sirius woke again, it was to a splitting headache. He only had time to roll over before vomiting all over the floor.

Lily rubbed the sleep from her eyes, and put a hand on his back. "Sirius?"

Ugh.

It had never gotten that bad before.

"S…sorry…" he mumbled, shakily, when he was done. Lily was already up, not liking the sound of the way he was gasping again.

"Lie back down," Lily instructed him. "Breathe."

Sirius' vision was turning white in pain. His chest was squeezing…squeezing… "Help me..." he managed, through pants. "Help…"

Lily was beside herself in fear. "Sirius, what's happening?" A thin sheen of sweat plastered his forehead and she reached out to touch it.

No fever.

She tried again. "Sirius?"

His response this time was a groan that was quickly followed by a garbled cry as the pain intensified. Inside the inferno of hurt, he flailed. He wanted to scream for help, but his lungs were like stone pillars in his chest. They were dragging him down despite his effort to inhale.

With all of his strength, Sirius flopped over onto his back, but the motion only let the remaining air in his lungs leave.

"Sirius, stay awake," Lily begged, close to tears at seeing him in such agony. Was he going through another lapse? But he'd just finished one!

But Sirius was already starting to lose consciousness.

Officially terrified, Lily made a quick decision and ran down four flights of stairs in search of John. It was early yet, not even 8 in the morning. She hoped he was awake. If he wasn't, Lily was sure she'd understand why she had a need to wake him up on a Sunday morning. Gathering her resolve, she rapped (or banged, rather) twice and waited.

To her intense relief, John opened the door almost immediately. "Lily?" Yes, there they were; the sounds of surprise and anxiety. Her bedraggled appearance must have shocked him, too.

"It's…it's Sirius," Lily managed to choke out. "John, I don't know what's wrong. He - " she cut herself off when she saw a man just beyond the doorway, sitting at John's kitchen table. "I'm sorry," she said, backing away a step, "did I interrupt something?"

John glanced behind him at the man, made a gesture of some sort, before turning back to her. "No, no. It's…nothing. What's wrong with Sirius?"

"I don't know!" Lily cried. "Please, come. Please, look!"

That was all that was needed to get John out of his apartment. Once again, he turned to face his guest and apologized. "I'll be right back, sir. We'll continue our discussion in just a moment."

The man at the table gave him a single nod, and Lily noticed that he was no longer sitting. It made her take another step back and keep her gaze locked onto his figure. He was wearing a business suit that was a dark green in color, fitting perfectly over his tall, slim body. She could feel his eyes on her and she retreated quickly, wondering if his long legs would be able to keep up if she got a head start.

John seemed to sense her apprehension because he quickly closed the door before ushering her down the hallway again and up the stairs. She was still trying to push down her irrational fear when John's voice cut through her thoughts. "Was it a spell? Did he collapse?"

Mind now efficiently distracted, Lily answered, "Last night he had some sort of fit before he fainted."

"How long?"

"What?"

They rounded another set of stairs and began to climb those as fast as possible. Lily's legs were starting to hurt in her effort to keep up with him and maintain a steady pace climbing at an angle. "How long?" John repeated. "How long was the spell? When did he wake?"

"He woke after two hours," Lily reported.

Two hours? "Fuck," John growled, and then cast her a sheepish look in apology for the language. She didn't seem to notice, intent on getting to their apartment above all else.

"And I think he's going to through another spell right now," she panted, as they reached the correct landing.

John swore again, this time not caring if she was offended by it or not. He all but flung himself through the doorway leading to their apartment complex, Lily close at his heels.

Sure enough, Sirius was out cold, tangled in his sheets. John skirted the mess of vomit on the floor and quickly checked his pulse, which was beating, though faintly. He began to strip Sirius of his sweater and t-shirt.

"What are you doing?" Lily demanded, fumbling to catch the clothing as John tossed them to her.

"C.P.R.! He's going to die if he doesn't get air into his lungs, now!" the man cried.

Five minutes.

Dear Lord, let him breathe within the next five minutes…!

Without further ado, John began to compress, instructing Lily to breathe into Sirius' mouth at specific intervals.

When Sirius spluttered and began to gasp in air on his own again, both of them stopped. "Why isn't he waking?" Lily asked, brows furrowing as her fingers hovered over his swollen lips. "Is he…?" she didn't finish her sentence, afraid to say the word.

"It's always like this," John said, with a shake of his head. "He'll breathe, but for some reason, his body doesn't want to come to." He watched as Lily's hand moved to Sirius' chest, to monitor his progress, most likely.

She faced him at last, her green eyes wide. "This isn't normal, though," she guessed. "What happened just now…it's not something he usually does, is it?"

The elder man sat down on the armrest, his mouth set into a grim line of disapproval. "Two spells one after another – it's news to me. For him to have been knocked out for two hours the first time around really puts a crack on things." Sirius' oxygen flow must have been limited enough, which was what prompted his landlord to resort to using artificial resuscitation without a second thought. That was the longest he'd ever heard Sirius go into stupor, and he wasn't pleased at all. (1)

Lily felt tears well up in her eyes. "What can we do? What if he doesn't wake up again?"

John gave her the most reassuring smile he could muster. "Don't worry, Lily. He'll be fine. He always is. But I'm seriously going to have to ask you to consider getting him some help."

"Help?"

"He'll hate me for it – probably hate you for it too – but his spells are becoming more frequent and much closer together." He gestured to Sirius' still body in reference to back up his statement.

Lily wiped the tears from her eyes, only to have more replace them. "You mean…send him back to the institution? I could never ask that of him!"

John let out an angry huff. "I know. But I don't know what else to do. I'm no goddamn doctor. This scares me, Lily. I'm worried about him. We've got to do something."

Almost protectively, Lily leaned over Sirius' body. "Not without his consent. Not against his will. It would destroy him, John."

He'd think they thought him loony.

He'd think they'd betrayed him.

John did not answer, narrowing his eyes slightly. He was right, Lily knew. "A hospital, then," he said. "At least get him physically checked. If he wasn't breathing right, we don't want repercussions."

Reluctantly, Lily agreed. John didn't own a car so he called an ambulance while she quickly gathered up clothes and supplies and busied herself with cleaning up the mess Sirius had made.

When she was done, she quickly leaned over Sirius' still unconscious figure and smoothed back his hair with a damp towel. "I'll be right there with you," she whispered, hoping he could hear her. "I won't leave you alone."

It seemed to take a life time before the paramedics arrived. John had had to return to his visitor downstairs that she had rudely taken him away from earlier. Gathering every inch of her courage, she managed to stutter out the report to the medicals and once finished, she clambered into the ambulance with Sirius.

She held his hand for the whole ride.

After that, things were a blur. Attached to an oxygen tank, Sirius was passed back and forth for hours, examined by what seemed like a hundred doctors, before he was given a small room of his own to recuperate. By that time, Lily was more than exhausted. According to the most recent physicians, Sirius had just undergone shock. They would have to perform more tests to see if anything was affected by it.

"Sometimes things like this can lead to more serious problems in the future. We want to make sure he doesn't have any brain damage and that all his limbs are receiving the oxygen that they need," one of the doctors explained to her. He was a portly man who looked to be in his late forties. He was almost completely bald and whatever hair he had left was slowly graying. His smile seemed to radiate from within and for that reason, she felt completely at ease. "If they aren't, he could develop something as drastic as gangrene and it would result in amputation."

"No!" the protest was out of her mouth before she could stop herself. That would kill him. In her mind's eye, she saw his elegant body coiled in a model-like fashion, picking up a fistful of his apartment keys from the floor. The sudden memory made her eyes prick with tears.

"Relax, Miss," the doctor said, clearly alarmed by the way she had suddenly turned pale. "Those are just extremes. According to his chart, Mr. Black seems to have a history with this illness. It's a good thing you were quick in performing resuscitation or else…"

Lily clenched her hands in her lap. "Just tell me, Dr. Vadis: will he be okay?"

The doctor turned his head to consider her for a long moment before he sat down next to her. "I won't lie to you, Miss: if what you say is true about his spells, he'll be lucky to walk away without injuries in the future. It seems to only be getting worse."

She realized he didn't answer her original question, so she guessed he didn't have one to give. The cautionary note that he left with her, though, rang in her mind again and again and was coupled with John's warning.

Could she do it?

Could she really send Sirius somewhere that he loathed?

_If you want him to survive_, then you have to, she told herself. If he lived – if he got better – she could take his criticism. His hate.

Slowly, Lily reached out to grasp his hand again and held it to her cheek as she came to a decision.

**0-0-0-0-0**

A cold bitter wind was the only reminder that winter was still in session. Thankfully, it had stopped raining and most of the snow that had accumulated on account of the snowstorm had disappeared. Now, they lay in clumps around the white-washed walls of the four-story edifice.

The first floor seemed to be made out of glass, supported on soft wooden beams made of red cherry oak. The front door stood wide open in a welcoming way, and just to its sides were long rows of bushes that, while they stood bare, spoke of a garden that had been tended to lovingly in its blooming days. Trees dotted the landscape and a pebble-and-stone walkway wound its way from the brass gates.

More than apprehensive, Lily followed it, looking about curiously. In an effort to keep warm, she burrowed her face into the scarf that she had wrapped around her neck. So far, she could only see beauty in the place.

Still, Sirius loathed the place and that alone made her wary.

For his sake, she had decided to scout the Institution. She wanted to understand him and his fears. She wanted to see for herself what it was that she was going to put him through.

Pushing the depressing thought to the back of her mind, she continued her trek up the small hill and forced herself toward the great building.

She let herself through the front door, not bothering to knock. She'd gone no more than ten steps when a security guard stopped her.

"Excuse me, Miss, can I help you?"

Lily reminded herself of her mission and she took a deep breath to quell her sudden nerves. "I…I…"

It never occurred to her what she should say.

"Are you lost?" the guard asked when she did not finish her sentence.

Words failing her, Lily elected to shake her head.

The guard began to look impatient. "Are you here to see someone?"

"I…yes," she said. "I need to speak with a doctor…" Seeing suspicion flare in the man's dark eyes, she decided to tell him the truth. "Someone close to me is having…trouble…and the doctor suggested to have him looked at here."

Well, it wasn't exactly the truth, but it was as close as Lily was willing to get. To prove her words, she reached into her bag to retrieve some creased papers from her bag, signed by Dr. Vadis. "Didn't mean for it to get crumpled up," Lily said, with a half-shrug as she handed the top page to the man to scan.

Seemingly satisfied to see that it was a legitimate referral and not some hoax that a teenager who wanted to wreak havoc on the place had created, the guard handed the paper back to her. "I'll go get one of the Healers." He gave her an askance look when he ordered, "Stay here."

Slightly annoyed, Lily did as she was told, wandering the foyer, looking at the various pictures on the walls.

They dated all the way back to the late 1800s, featuring nurses who sported large white hats and equally white dress robes. The Healers were dressed similarly, minus the hats, their expressions grim and stern. Their eyes, in Lily's opinion, were heavy-lidded, probably due to stress or the things they had to deal with over the course of the day.

Back then, the staff consisted of around 20 people.

As the pictures progressed into the modern times, she saw that their numbers had increased in size and that staff members were smiling instead of wearing such serious faces. However, the heavy-lidded looks remained on each person. The hats were abolished from the dress code but the heavy white robes seemed to stay in effect no matter what period.

Some photos even had pictures of some wards there, and Lily looked these over half-dreading and half-curious to see if Sirius' face was among them.

He was not.

Of the actual activity in the Institution, there was no hint.

She had just started to admire a certain oil painting of a woman in a wheelchair, when a polite cough caused her to spin around.

There, standing in the white robes of the photos, was a tall blond lady. Clipped to her breast pocket were a pair of glasses and in her arms, she carried a clipboard that was void of any papers. Instinctively, Lily peered at her eyes and was a relieved to see that the heavy-lidded look was absent.

Maybe it had been the camera's angle…

The detail flew out of her head when the woman spoke. "I'm Dr. Cusatoni, lead Healer of the building." She stuck her hand out in introduction and Lily shyly returned it. The woman's voice was not the sharp, commandeering tone that she had expected. "Welcome to Durmstrang's Institution; Correctional Facility and Center for Psychological Disabilities."

She must have seen Lily's wince because she smiled and added, "It's a mouthful, I know. We like to call it the Institution for short."

That was a good thing: the name was rather daunting.

"I…my name is…Evans. Lily Evans," Lily said, pushing her doubts to the back of her mind. She'd come all this way – it would be a waste if she ran, now. "Thank you, for seeing me, Doctor…"

"You may call me Angela," the woman said, giving her a reassuring smile. "What can I do for you, Miss Evans?"

"Lily."

"Very well, Lily."

Glancing uncomfortably at the security guard who was hovering near the doorway, Lily mumbled, "I…there is something I'd like to discuss with you, if you have time."

"Shall we go into my office?" Angela asked, noting her hesitancy.

Lily nodded, and the woman led the way, her heels clacking against the wooden floors that were made of the same roan red cherry oak of the beams.

Her office was not what Lily had imagined it to be, either. Her desk was a clutter of papers that while messy, was not so overly unorganized. Bright pictures hung on her walls – paintings and drawings from children most likely – along with several plaques. Being on the first floor, one wall was made up entirely of glass windows which overlooked a frost-bitten garden.

The arrangement of the furniture was so that it had a very specific alignment.

Again, Angela spoke, as if reading Lily's mind. "I got some Feng Shui tips. My patients find it helps them relax. Please," she gestured to a dark padded leather couch, "have a seat."

Lily obliged, tucking the coattails of her coat under her as she did so.

"Tea?"

"Yes. Please."

As the elder woman went about getting the refreshment ready, she prompted Lily to tell her why she was there.

Once again, Lily produced the written referral and handed it over to the doctor. "I'm worried about my boyfriend, ma'am. He…he almost died the other day, due to a… condition. I don't…I don't know much about it, but I've heard…"

Angela handed Lily a cup of green tea before taking the papers and reading through them quickly. "Ah," she said, "of course. Sirius Black."

Lily's heart threatened to stop beating.

Whatever he'd told her before had been true, then…

"He's a handsome man, isn't he?" Angela asked, her mouth quirking in tease. "I would never have guessed you were talking about him when you said boyfriend."

The redhead hunched her shoulders in response, staring down at her cup. "Lily. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. Sirius has spoken of you, fondly."

This caused Lily to look up. "He…you know about me?"

Angela put the referral down on her desk. "Back in late October, Sirius came back to the Institution, telling us that he was admitting himself because he didn't want to scare a good friend of his. He begged us to help him so that she would never have to find out about his condition." She looked pointedly at Lily. "He claimed that this girl was worth it, even though everyone knows how much he hates this place."

Amazed, Lily sat back against the couch. So…back then, when he'd disappeared for almost a whole month, he'd gone here? Had he really done that for her? She didn't know whether to be touched or confused. She didn't get a chance to dwell on the thought, though, because Angela was speaking again. "His treatment had hardly started when he suddenly decided that he could not stay here again. He just upped and left, without an explanation."

"And you just let him go?" demanded Lily.

"He was previously proclaimed stable," the doctor said, defensively. "When he came here again, he was not as bad as he used to be. In fact, we were all surprised that Sirius insisted on being admitted when there was nothing we could find that was wrong with him, save for mild depression."

"But he's not fine! He keeps falling into spells. It's gotten really bad," Lily said. "Just yesterday night, he had two of them in a row. I had to call an ambulance. He's currently in the hospital right now, as we speak."

Angela's eyes grew wide. "Are you sure? In a row?"

Lily couldn't help her glare, jutting her chin out in a way that suggested that the doctor should not have asked such a stupid question. "Do you think I'd lie about something like this?"

Angela considered her for a moment, squinting her eyes a little as she did so. Finally, she sat down in the chair by her desk and aligned her fingertips together. "That is not a good sign," she murmured, more to herself than to the redhead. "It means that he is trying to suppress memories that are resurfacing and trying to hold onto the stasis that his mind created to protect himself. We thought he'd gotten over this."

Confused, Lily leaned forward, resting her elbows against her knees. Lupin had mentioned something about Sirius blanking out whenever he remembered a particular memory. "You mean…"

"Yes. Sirius brought this condition down upon himself. We believe he imposed a sort of selective memory to help him forget and deny what happened to him years ago. In doing so, whenever he remembers something…"

"…he self-inflicts pain," Lily finished, in a whisper. Dread filled her and made her body run numb. To banish the sudden dryness in her throat, she drank the tea in one swallow.

Angela seemed appreciative of the fact that Lily had pieced the information together without her having to explain it all. "So you see," Angela said, with a slight nod, "why this is one of the hardest conditions to cure. Refusal to come to terms with what is and what was…well…we cannot force someone to remember something any more than we can force someone to believe in something they don't." She glanced down to the pages that outlined Dr. Vadis' report. "The worst part about it is that Sirius doesn't realize that he's doing this to himself."

"Can you help him?"

Angela's face finally took on the heavy-lidded look. "We certainly can try. It could take days, months...and so far, in Sirius' case, years."

A silence fell upon them, then, as Dr. Cusatoni let her think things through.

How on earth would Lily be able to convince him to come back here? But if she didn't…she felt sick just at the thought of Sirius falling into another spell. Rising on shaky legs, Lily put the teacup down on the edge of Angela's desk. "I should get going. He's bound to wake up and wonder if I've left him."

"Of course," Angela stood also, surprised at how brief the meeting had been. "If you have any more questions, feel free to contact me." She plucked a simple white card off her desk and handed it to Lily. "I understand that admitting someone here isn't the easiest thing to consider. It's not the easiest thing to ask of another either.

"Because Sirius is of age now, he has the choice whether or not to be instated. Dr. Vadis has only suggested the treatment, not prescribed it, so Sirius is free to reject if he wants to." She proceeded to hand Lily several pamphlets to look over and forms just in case Sirius decided on readmission. Seeing Lily's crestfallen look, she encouraged, "Don't give up."

Thanking her once more, Lily gathered everything she had been given and hurried back to the entrance of the place. This time around, she did not take the time to look around. If she had, she would have seen some doctors watching her, along with a few patients.

By the time she made Sirius' side, he was just coming to, his eyes fluttering open, adopting, to her great surprise, the same heavy-lidded look that pervaded the Institution. For a moment or so, her mind went blank of everything but that, and his voice cut through her thoughts like a sharp razor. "…Lily…?"

She tried to compose herself, realizing quite belatedly that he was no longer hooked up to the oxygen tank. "Hi," she whispered.

"Where am I?" his words were slurred. If it was due to medication, Lily did not know what kind.

"In the hospital, love," she told him, gently.

His eyes fluttered closed and his breath wheezed out from his nostrils. "Where did you go?"

This time, his question made her thoughts scatter again in panic. "Out," she answered, vaguely, hoping she didn't sound as guilty as she felt. For some reason, she did not want him to know that she had left his side.

It was almost like a betrayal.

To her relief, he didn't seem conscious enough to understand or be able to process her words intelligibly. Instead, his head lolled to the side as he fought what might have been sleeping pills. "Stay," he begged, in a voice that was nearly inaudible.

She pulled her chair closer to his bedside in response, taking up his hand in hers as she had earlier. His long fingers curled over hers in tight grip.

That simple action seemed to seal his fate.

Suddenly, Lily knew how to ask the impossible of him.

But not yet.

For now, she'd let him keep his freedom. It was the least that she could do.

**To Be Continued…

* * *

**

**AN: **First off, I'd just like to say**…**March is such a wonderful month. Then, I'd like to point out that I had a helluva lot of fun writing this chapter for some reason.

(1) Some quick notes: when Sirius remembers the past, it comes back in snippets of time, so there will be a lot of jumping back and forth. Like I said before, you'll have to try and piece them all together.

Also, for your information, the brain can last approximately five minutes without oxygen before brain cells start to die off/brain damage happens. Sirius' condition, if you can remember, is that he collapses and his body forgets to breathe, after which, he goes into a coma-like state.

Just to let you know, while he is knocked out, he does resume breathing, but irregularly. I hope that clarifies things a bit. Fifteen minutes being knocked out does _not_ mean fifteen minutes of inactive respiration. It means fifteen minutes of irregular respiration. It's only at the beginning of his spell that he stops breathing all together. So far, his body's been able to kick-start his breathing pattern before the five minute critical.

(End quick notes)

I know. It's my own fault. Because I haven't been updating as fast as I should be, or writing as fast as I used to, I have lost a lot of support for my stories. I really appreciate the fact that some of you are still out there reading and reviewing though.

_Especially_ reviewing.

If there's anything a writer loves, it's hearing feedback and knowing that there are some people who appreciate the effort of coming up with something (worthwhile?) to read.

Please, in consideration, take the time to let me know your thoughts. Until the next chapter,

-P.P.V.V.


	23. The Meaning of Trust

**GENUINE GEMINI by: P.P.V.V.**

_Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim applies…all original characters/ideas are mine to claim._

* * *

**AN: **I've been on quite a long hiatus, and for that, I do apologize. I finally managed to squeeze out this chapter! Here's to hoping I don't disappoint any more than I already have. Again, you guys are the greatest. Thanks for the love in the form of reviews!

Onward.

* * *

_Previously__:_

_How on earth would Lily be able to convince him to go back to the Institute? But if she didn't…she felt sick just at the thought of Sirius falling into another spell._

_It was almost like a betrayal._

_Sirius' head lolled to the side as he fought what might have been sleeping pills. "Stay," he begged, in a voice that was nearly inaudible._

_She pulled her chair closer to his bedside in response, taking up his hand in hers as she had earlier. His long fingers curled over hers in tight grip._

_That simple action seemed to seal his fate._

_Suddenly, Lily knew how to ask the impossible of him._

_But not yet._

_For now, she'd let him keep his freedom. It was the least that she could do._

* * *

**Chapter 23**

**- The Meaning of Trust -**

* * *

**Retract, retrace, bury and bear**

**The past, the present, and the future**

* * *

By the time Sirius was declared fit to go home, he was practically frothing at the mouth with boredom and anxiety. He'd always hated hospitals. They chafed at him like sandpaper against the skin. He hated the smell. He hated the friendly staff. He hated the sound of the monitors. He hated waiting for results.

Results.

The word was almost as bad as filling his mouth with dirt.

And the tests…

If there was one thing he hated the most, it was feeling like some sort of specimen. He wasn't some scientific anomaly that had to be examined and experimented with. He wasn't some chest full of answers that people could just continually pry at. In fact, his life was more like a box of fragmented pieces of scrap paper.

Good luck trying to piece those together.

Even he had a hard time doing that, and he wasn't up to the task. He preferred those ripped pieces to stay as they were. If they were taped together, he feared what he would read…

Yes, in effect, he wanted nothing more than to go home.

After much waiting, the doctors proclaimed him clear. They could not find anything wrong with him. He almost cried with relief when Lily cheerfully told him that they were going to leave.

She'd been so patient, returning day after day to his side and not leaving until visiting hours were over. If not for her presence for the four days he was confined in that damned room, he wouldn't have been able to bear it.

The sight of his dilapidated apartment was like touching upon gold. The phrase "There's no place like home" could not have been truer.

Lily seemed to sense his excitement because she laughed when he broke away from her hold on his hand to run up the front steps. "It's not going anywhere," she called, teasingly. He turned to give her a beaming smile.

She was glad to see him in high spirits. He'd retreated into a shell of silence and confusion at the hospital. He hadn't mentioned anything of his thoughts and hadn't apologized for his spells. He'd hardly smiled at all, now that she thought of it, and the memory of his listless state made Lily wonder if the Institution was to be blamed. She'd let him brood and hadn't asked any questions. Now, outside of the hospital, he was like a completely different person.

John was relieved to see him looking well and mobile and ushered them into his flat for lunch as a celebration. At first, Lily thought that Sirius wouldn't have an appetite like he'd displayed all week, but was proven wrong when he ate so much that John was convinced he was fully recovered.

Afterwards, snuggled in bed, Sirius slept like a baby.

It wasn't…normal.

Lily fingered the card that Dr. Cusatoni had given her. If there was one thing Lily had come to realize, it was that Sirius would be in complete misery if he were admitted. Having seen his reaction firsthand, it was almost cruel to subjugate him to that.

But still…

_It's for his own good_, Lily told herself for what seemed like the millionth time, eyeing Sirius' peaceful face. His right arm was loosely gripping his pillow, while his left cradled his head. His breathing, she was glad to note, was normal and steady.

His suppression of things that hurt him was slowly killing him, she knew. It made him like a wild, skittish animal that bared its teeth in distrust.

At some point, he'd bite her, she knew, but she would overlook the hurt if it helped him in the long run. If she didn't help him, he would eventually get stuck in a trap that no one would be able to get him out of.

The mind was a scary place, indeed.

On impulse, Lily wandered over to his sleeping form and dropped a kiss onto his forehead. "I love you, you big brute," she whispered, fondly. He didn't stir, already far away in the blissful darkness that always accompanied sleep.  
For a long while, Lily sat by his side watching him before getting up. As much as she hated to do it, Lily began filling out the papers that would admit him into the Institution.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Their lives resumed as though there hadn't been a lull that had interrupted them. Sirius returned to school and work. When the day was over, he would come home and although tired, would tell Lily stories and sometimes crack some jokes. Then, they would nestle together on the couch and go through homework and lessons until it was time for bed.

Lily contented herself by staying at home. Strange that she had come to view this small, cramped apartment as just that. It was as if she belonged here. The word was more than appropriate to her and she never thought twice about it.

She made friends with Mrs. Figg, a lady who lived on her own with several cats on the same floor. She was a kind woman who had initiated conversation by bringing the couple some baked goods. Often, Lily went over to help her out with various chores because she was old and unable to move about as easily as she used to. For her pains, Mrs. Figg paid her.

She never pressed Lily for answers, though Lily was sure that she was fairly bursting with questions. Unlike other people, Mrs. Figg wasn't the type to go digging into other peoples' business and that was why Lily felt so at ease around her. She liked the way the woman did not think to judge and was always eager to rattle off stories of her childhood instead of rumors and gossip. She reminded Lily of what a grandmother would be like.

Mrs. Figg was a small thing, only reaching Lily's shoulder in height. She had salt and pepper hair that curled and went no further than her nape. Her features consisted of a button nose and a lopsided smile – shadows of her past beauty that must have made boys clamor for her attention.

When Lily wasn't helping Mrs. Figg or doing housework, she threw herself into the artwork she had started on.

They weren't anything special: A frost-covered window. An open doorway. Hands.

She wanted to get Sirius' hands perfect. They were different; had a personality all on their own. They didn't disgust her. She did not find them tainted. They were cautious, warm, and gentle. Having seen Sirius in a different light, it made it easier to paint him but there were still some parts of him that she wanted to depict in a certain way.

If eyes were windows into a person's soul, then hands were what defined a person's intentions and actions.

She'd just stepped away from her latest attempt of both when she heard Mrs. Figg's voice from behind her.

"You've got a wonderful talent, Miss Evans!"

Lily consciously wiped at a smudge of paint on her cheek and put down her paintbrush. She walked toward the hallway where the old woman stood admiring the drying paintings she had set out. They sat on the floor and leaned against the wall. "Thank you, Mrs. Figg."

"Have you ever thought of becoming a professional?"

Lily hooked her hair behind her ear, hunching one shoulder. "Oh, no…I'm not good enough for that."

Mrs. Figg bent over a painting of a hand in order to inspect it closely. "Yes, you are! This looks absolutely real." She squinted her dark eyes contemplatively. "Almost as though it could touch you," she added. "You should think about it. But…why are you putting these out here?"

Lily gestured behind her vaguely. "There's not enough room." Their flat was cramped enough as it was. The easel and Sirius' motorcycle had taken up a good portion of whatever room was available so she didn't have much of a choice.

The old woman seemed to understand because she took Lily's arm and squeezed it in a motherly fashion. "You're welcome at any point to use my flat to paint if you find it will help you," she offered. "Heaven knows I could use more company."

"Thank you very much," Lily said, "but I couldn't possibly…" she hated the idea of intruding upon someone else. Things could get quite messy and she didn't want to bother the woman any more than necessary.

"If it makes you feel better, you may pay me back with a painting or two!" Mrs. Figg insisted. "You must feel lonely. A girl like you shouldn't be locked away indoors all day. Heaven knows you could keep with more company, too."

The thought had never occurred to Lily. Before meeting Sirius, she'd always been alone. She'd never had any friends…never bothered to make them. She knew the ins and outs of being alone. It surprised her to suddenly feel the solitude as something painful and suffocating. Something inside her craved for the presence of someone else – maybe that was why she always looked forward to Sirius' return at the end of the day.

Seeing that Mrs. Figg was looking at her expectantly, Lily managed to stutter, "I…I'd like that…" shyly.

The old woman smiled in that lopsided way and let go of her arm. Then she asked if Lily could help her put some groceries away. Lily had completely missed the basket that was hanging on a braided cord that hung from the lady's shoulder. Of course, Lily jumped to the task and led the way, into the apartment down the hall.

Time passed quickly after that because Mrs. Figg insisted on having her stay for tea. Before Lily knew it, she was looking at her watch to see that Sirius would be on his way home and she hadn't even started supper. Excusing herself, she hurriedly returned to their flat.

It wasn't as though Sirius demanded supper to be on the table upon his return. In fact, he was often telling her not to worry so much about it. He'd always gone out to eat for meals in the past and he didn't mind continuing. But Lily did not approve of the habit because it was a perfectly good waste of money, not to mention a terrible dietary plan. Besides, making dinner not only gave her something to do, but she could tell that Sirius appreciated the gesture after a long day's work.

When she caught sight of their open apartment door, she silently chided herself for forgetting to lock it. Her drawings were still in the hallway, but they were not worth stealing. Other things were, though. Sirius' motorcycle, even though it was heavy and bulky, was liable, especially for its parts. If someone had run off with those, Lily was more than certain Sirius would not be happy with her. She could care less about her paintings and her easel because those things were easily replaceable. Sirius' motorcycle was not.

Slowly, she approached the apartment, her hand unconsciously touching the cell phone in her pocket as though to be sure it was easily accessible. A part of her whispered that it would be prudent to have someone with her before she entered, just in case. John would be willing, she was sure, but she knew that the man was out. He'd dropped by that morning and informed her that if she needed something, she'd have to wait until evening. She had been given another name and number to call in case it was an emergency, but she did not know who this Patrick fellow was, let alone trust him enough to ask for his help.

So with that, Lily was left to her own devices. It could be that there was nothing to fear, that she was making herself nervous for nothing, but her instincts screamed at her that something was wrong.

And she'd learned to trust her instincts.

Again, she chastised herself for the way she'd stupidly forgotten something so simple and important as locking their door. To say that she was nervous was an understatement. She was outright terrified.

_Just a peek_, she told herself. If there was someone in the room, she'd call the police and run back to Mrs. Figg's.

Her heart thrumming in her throat, Lily pressed herself against the wall before inching toward her doorway, trying to keep her footsteps light. If there was nobody there, then all the better, but it could never hurt to be cautious.

The apartment looked exactly the way she'd left it. Sirius' bed lay rumpled and unmade – she hadn't gotten the chance to fix it up. The window, which was usually tightly closed with the curtains drawn, was open to let fresh air in. Because she'd left it that way, the temperature in the room felt crisp and cold. She could feel winter's bite all the way into the hallway. Nothing was out of place.

Except for the man standing in the middle of the room.

And the man was not Sirius.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Lily instantly ducked back, her hand reaching into her pocket to dig out the cell phone.

_Oh my God…Oh my God…_ she thought, again and again.

She knew this man!

From the brief glimpse she'd had of him today, he was not wearing the dark green business suit she'd seen him in before when he'd been sitting at John's kitchen table. Instead, he was outfitted in a supple leather jacket that was so rich in color that she was fairly sure it was brand new. It was a cross between an orange and a red and despite circumstances, Lily thought it was beautiful and that the man could carry it well. Underneath, he wore a black turtleneck and dark pants. Even dressed casually, there was something about him that screamed authoritative.

Her hands were shaking, making punching in numbers almost impossible. As if to spite her, the cell phone slipped out of her hands and tumbled to the floor, to rest between the doorposts.

Breaths now coming in shallow pants, Lily stared at it, feeling betrayed. Her first thought was to run, but by the time she was halfway down the hall, this stranger would catch her.

Should she scream?

Torn between her decisions, Lily felt as though she were encased in ice. She couldn't move for being scared stiff. She stared at the phone for what seemed like an eternity (though, in reality, it was a scant few seconds). Before her mind could come up with anything, the man was at the door, bending over to pick it up.

Still stunned, Lily watched him, trying to breathe properly. Some distant part of her mind was musing over the thought that this was what Sirius must feel like when he fell into a spell. Because of that, she relaxed only slightly, enough to face the intruder squarely.

Without a word, the man handed the cell phone to her, and Lily tensed, thinking his next move was to grab at her. Too many times had something like this happened and she hated how there was a sense of resignation to the fact. It wasn't normal to be raped, yet here she was, already accepting that it could happen, and if it did, there was nothing she could do about it.

No.

No, never again.

Lily took a step back, her eyes focused on the man as though he were a walking calamity, dismissing the phone as minor.

"You must be Lily," the man's voice and knowing inflection caused Lily to freeze again, her mind splitting into seven different directions as she groped to understand his words. How had he known her name?

"Orion," he said, without waiting for her response. As though he didn't need it. As though he weren't expecting it. It took her a moment to realize that he was introducing himself. "Orion Black."

Black…

Her mind flashed to Sirius.

When she failed to respond, Orion gave her a grim nod. "Yes, I'm Sirius' father."

Still not taking the phone from his outstretched hand, Lily demanded, "What are you doing here?" The first of many questions that were swirling around in her head. Others went along the lines of "Why were you at John's the other day?" and "Did you know that Sirius resents you because of what you did to him?" but she did not voice those out loud.

It was rather rude, but she didn't care. The man had been skulking around their apartment, after all. Coupled with the fact that Sirius was not too fond of the man, she had every reason to be curt and wary.

Orion seemed to be expecting this attitude, though, because he shrugged as if her question was not important. "I swung by to speak with you."

Again, suspicion flared in her. "Why me?" _Why not Sirius?_ her mind demanded. Yet another question she did not bother to ask aloud, as she was sure there was enough implication in her original one.

Once again, Orion caught on, the smart man. "Sirius seems to have quite an aversion to me. I try not to aggravate our relationship unless absolutely necessary."

He was talking about his son as though he were a foreigner. Or was it her bias that was making her assume this?

Whatever.

"That still doesn't answer my question."

"You paint exceptionally well, did you know that?"

His question and sudden change of topic caught her off-guard. "What?"

Orion turned slowly to indicate her easel, where she had been working on Sirius' portrait. "My late wife was an artist, you know. She had a way with paint and paper. It seems you do, too. You've got Sirius down perfectly, so far."

Confused, Lily heard herself object. "I've only just drawn his eyes…barely, anyway…"

"I know his eyes when I see them," Orion told her. "He got them from his mum, you know." And he was right, because Orion's eyes were a chocolate color, not the swirling gray that Sirius had. But now that she was looking closely, she saw some of Sirius in him, from his jaw line and the shape of his mouth. The artist in her mentally jotted this down for future reference.

He took a deep breath and faced her again, his face a picture of regret and apology.  
"I know I shouldn't have let myself in without permission. I knocked. _And _I called out too, but no one answered. I got worried because I saw the place was left unlocked so I came in to make sure everything was all right. Then I saw your painting."

This time, when he held out her phone, Lily took it. She was surprised and relieved to see that her hand did not shake. Then she looked up at him questioningly, and he gave her a small, knowing smile. "I'm sorry I scared you."

She didn't reply, remembering her initial reaction to his presence in John's apartment. Instead, her eyes flicked to his hands. They bore no calluses or signs of hard labor, nor were they big and clumsy-looking. He had long, graceful fingers, almost like that of a musician's. Clean. Precise. Respectful of the work they were put to.

Cruel?

She recalled Sirius' bitter tone.

_He insisted I needed help._

No.

His hands portrayed the fact that he was certain about decisions. Decisions that were not made on a whim.

Smoothly pocketing what had seemed like her only form of salvation, Lily curtly demanded, "What do you want from me?" She hadn't meant for the words to have double meaning, but still, for a girl who had gone through so much abuse, it was almost ingrained into her.

Orion mouth twitched upward, but his eyes did not reflect humor. In fact, they were such pools of sorrow that Lily found her breath hitching in her chest. "I came here to make your acquaintance," he said.

At her guarded expression, Orion sighed and moved back into the apartment, to stare at the easel again. "I was more than surprised when Sirius came knocking, so to speak, on my door a few weeks back. We hadn't seen each other for almost two years, you know."

His voice was starting to match the sorrow in his eyes and Lily fidgeted in her spot. What did he expect her to say? She couldn't criticize or else she'd be a hypocrite. Here she was, unknowingly following in his footsteps, wanting to charge his son into admission, as well. Angrily, she struck that from her mind.

Unlike Orion, who had put Sirius into the Institute because he believed that was what Sirius needed, Lily was acting on what Sirius requested. Sirius had asked her for help. This time, he wanted it.

_A sorry excuse_, she chided herself, mentally, and she flailed in desperation against it. No matter how much she tried to justify it, she knew Sirius would not see it as anything but malicious.

"I suppose Sirius hasn't told you, yet, but there are a couple of loopholes in your pending case with the courts." Orion was continuing to speak, and Lily forced herself to pay attention. "In his desperation to keep you safe, Sirius came to me and begged me to intercede on your behalf. He was beside himself.

"To make a long story short," Orion clasped his hands behind his back as he spoke, "the courts finally agreed to withhold your custody and they've put it in my care. Effective next week, you are under my charge."

Lily furrowed her eyebrows. "Sirius didn't…he wouldn't…" she didn't know what to say to defend herself. "Why would the courts…?"

Orion turned to go back into the apartment, leaving Lily to stand in the hallway, dumbstruck. "I have had my fair share of battles won over custody," he said, cryptically. He looked at the unfinished portrait of Sirius for a long time, letting his vague words hang in the air. "Sirius and I may not see eye to eye, but in this, he knows there is no other way. He wanted to keep you safe, and I have offered to do this service for him."

Suspicion tugged at Lily yet again. "Offered?" she asked, in an almost sneering way. "What did you make Sirius give up for it?"

She regretted her tone when she saw a flash of pain cross Orion's calm façade. He covered it quickly, but not before she had a chance to see it. "I know your situation, Lily. I know you're not very trusting and I know you have every right to suspect the worst. But there is a price everyone must pay. Sirius wants what's best for you."

Somehow, he had managed to give her only obscure answers again.

Lily decided to let it slide. "And what if I don't want to go into your custody?"

Orion shrugged. "That is entirely up to you. That is the reason I came here to speak with you, today. I will not force my protection on you. I am giving you the options that are available to you. You either come with me, or you go to a Housing Unit until you come into your inheritance."

Lily's mind spun as she weighed her options. A Housing Unit sounded downright frightening. But why would Sirius put her under his father's custody? He knew how she would feel about that! Disappointment welled up in her, but she squashed the feeling, turning instead to another pressing question. What made this man so confident that he could protect her – against the courts and her Uncle, of all people? She leaned against the doorframe, thinking.

Then it hit her.

"You're…you own…The Black Industries," she heard herself say.

Orion's face remained impassive as he nodded. Clearly, he was not a proud man and somehow, that made Lily feel very small. Things were getting more outrageous by the moment. The surname Black was so common that it had never occurred to Lily that Sirius might be associated – no, _related_ – to one of the most powerful men in England. Lily was not very business-inclined, but she knew enough to know this man standing before her owned half of the trade industries in the country. If not more. _**T.B.I**_. was stamped on almost every local manufacturer's label as far as she knew.

Yes, if there was one man who had influence, it was this one.

Lily stuttered, "But…Sirius never told me…"

"No, I don't suppose he would have." And Orion looked around the tiny apartment with an air of disappointment. "As I've said, Sirius and I have our disagreements." He made as if to touch the painting. Lily did not speak, watching him. He lowered his hand, and gave her a small wistful smile. In that moment, Lily saw the strong family resemblance. While he did not possess the unreal beauty Sirius did, he radiated the same confidence. It was almost hypnotizing and she looked down at her feet, ashamed. She was suddenly very aware of the fact that she was not very presentable at all dressed in a pair of faded flannel pants and a baggy t-shirt she had borrowed from Sirius. She was smudged with paint and again, she wiped at the splatter on her face in vain.

What must he think of her? Of Sirius' choice of girlfriend? Of her predicament? She couldn't help but wonder if Orion would have preferred someone like Bellatrix to be with his son. Lily was so homely compared to her and she wished she could disappear on the spot.

"Lily." His voice was gentle. "I have promised Sirius that I would back you up in court. I have promised him your safety. I have promised him that you could call on me in times of trouble. I promise those same things to you, and I sincerely hope you believe me."

When all she could do was stare at him he stepped away from the portrait and held his hand out to her. "Please. Think about it."

She glanced at his hand. One that most probably closed thousands of deals. Honest. Trustworthy, if his reputation had any say. Honorable? She'd have to find out. After what seemed an eternity, she grasped it and shook it.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Peter slammed his locker shut and was tempted to kick it, but he didn't. Stupid Slughorn! Giving him detention when he full well knew that there was an important game he needed to practice for. They'd won Quarter Finals and now Semi Finals were just around the corner. As if detention wasn't enough of a punishment, Madam Hooch had threatened to kick him off the basketball team for his negligence and had benched him.

The reminder made his blood boil. So what if he had missed one stupid assignment?

"Can't you ask her to reconsider?" Remus asked, and the question seemed to fan the flames of Peter's anger.

"I've already asked, but she won't budge."

"Well, it _was_ the Independent Study Unit," Bellatrix drawled, twisting one of her fingers through a ringlet of her hair. She was leaning against the locker next to Remus, looking, for all intents and purposes, like a goddess that was lounging. She was just missing her servants. "And you know the rule: studies over sports."

Peter actually growled at her. "You sound like my mum."

Her smile was patronizing and before a full out argument could happen, Remus held up his hands, sighing inwardly. Why was he always acting the peacekeeper? "All right, children. Calm down," he ordered. "No fighting." To Peter, he said, "I'll talk to Madam Hooch. I'm sure she'll understand."

Yeah, and dragons were real.

Peter scowled but knew that pouting would not accomplish anything. Still, he was allowed to be upset, so for the time being, he wanted to milk every moment of his chance dry. "It's not fair," he protested, to no one in particular. "Sirius disappears for two months and he doesn't get anything more than a scolding! How come he gets away with murder?"

Remus was about to answer that Sirius was not part of any teams and that he was on a tighter leash than he let on, but Sirius himself interrupted their conversation.

"I didn't get away with it." His voice was monotone, and all three of them jumped, guiltily. Remus instantly remembered Sirius using the same tone back when they had been at Charlie's.

_Are you really? Because I was the one who killed him…_

The words echoed in the back of Remus' mind, and he surreptitiously glanced at Peter and Bellatrix to see if they showed any reaction to his words. Their stunned expressions did not give away any indication that they knew about that part of Sirius' past, so Remus forced himself to relax. His double meaning had gone past them completely.

"Aw, mate, didn't see you standing there," Peter said, recovering enough to blush at being caught talking about him.

Sirius' blank face melted into a casual smile, and Remus had to wonder whether or not it was forced or if he had decided not to dwell on the earlier topic. "Got in trouble, did you?" he teased. "I was thinking I would be the only one spending time in detention for the rest of the year."

Bellatrix actually laughed. "Not so popular with the teachers, are you, Sirius?"

Sirius stuck out his chin, defiantly. "You'd be surprised, Belle. I'm sure not all of them hate on me."

"Prove it," Peter said in a sulky manner.

Sirius reached out to snag the basketball from Peter's arm and bounced it twice. "I might just take you up on a bet that says I can weasel you out of detention _and_ put you back on the Madam's good graces, again."

At that, Bellatrix rolled her eyes. These boys and betting! It wasn't a surprise when Remus put twenty pounds into the pool right away. It was almost like old times, again.

Almost.

"I'm surprised Evans hasn't been doing time with you," Peter said, confirming Bellatrix's inner musings. Ah, Evans. Everything changed because of her. It was like she suddenly held the power over everything. She certainly held it over Sirius… "I mean, she's missed almost a month of school! You got her following your legacy, Sirius?"

"Lily's case is complicated," Sirius told him, vaguely. "Family issues and the like. She's not allowed to come back to this school until all that's been dealt with. She may even transfer schools, from what I've heard."

Peter scoffed, "They're already trying to separate you two, huh? What, are you too much of a bad influence on the Perfect Miss Evans?"

This time, Bellatrix was afraid Sirius would fly into a rage, but he merely shrugged and said, "Yeah, something like that."

Ugh.

It would all have been much easier if Evans had just stayed invisible.

She felt Remus touch her shoulder and she instantly eased up. Right. She was over Sirius. She gave the taller boy a small smile of gratitude which he returned and she took the opportunity to steer the subject away from troubled waters. Addressing Sirius, she asked, "And just how are you going to convince Madam Hooch to let Peter off the hook?"

This time, Sirius' smile seemed to radiate and, as though an invisible, taut string had been cut, everyone seemed to relax. "Simple. I'll use my charm. No one can resist it." He made a show of checking his watch and said, "But that will have to wait because I'm already late for my extra credit class. I'll swing by the gymnasium before work to have a chat with her," he promised Peter.

They watched as he loped away, and Peter turned to his companions. "I'm not sure if I should feel worried or happy that he's going to stick up for me."

"With Sirius, you can never guess," Remus told him, "but at least he's got your back." As he spoke, he unconsciously draped his arm around Bellatrix's waist and pulled her against him. Much to her surprise, she didn't pull away from him. Instead, she zeroed in on Remus' next words, and whether or not they were directed at her mattered very little. "You're in good hands."

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

**AN:** It seemed like a good place to stop. I know it's been a while between updates, but bear with me, everyone. Unfortunately, writing isn't a full-time thing for me as much as I wish it were. I don't know how to express the fact that you guys are so wonderful and kind. Thank you for the well-wishes and the awesome reviews. My life got ten times better because of you. And from the bottom of my heart

Thanks for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


	24. Realizations

GENUINE GEMINI

By: P.P.V.V.

_Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim applies. All original characters/ideas are mine to claim._

* * *

**AN:** It's happened. An update! At the beginning of the year, too! Let's just hope I can keep this fortune rolling. I'm so excited to be back. Major thanks to my best friend for all his support. I can't have done this without him. Of course, I can't have done this without all of you. I know I haven't updated in a while. Apologies. Again. Without further ado, I give you the next installment!

Hang on because the waters only get rougher.

Onward!

* * *

_Previously: _

"_I know your situation, Lily," Sirius' father said, "I know you're not very trusting and I know you have every right to suspect the worst. But there is a price everyone must pay. Sirius wants what's best for you."_

_ Lily stiffly asked, "And what if I don't want to go into your custody?"_

_ Orion shrugged. "That is entirely up to you. I will not force my protection on you. I am giving you the options that are available to you. You either come with me, or you go to a Housing Unit until you come into your inheritance."_

_A Housing Unit sounded downright frightening. But why would Sirius put her under his father's custody? What made this man so confident that he could protect her – against the courts and her Uncle, of all people? _

_Then it hit her. _

_ "You're…you own…The Black Industries," she heard herself say._

_ Orion's face remained impassive as he nodded. His voice was gentle when he spoke. "I have promised Sirius that I would back you up in court. I have promised him your safety. I have promised him that you could call on me in times of trouble. I promise those same things to you, and I sincerely hope you believe me." _

_ When all she could do was stare at him he stepped away from the portrait and held his hand out to her. "Please. Think about it." _

_ She glanced at his hand. One that most probably closed thousands of deals. Honest. Trustworthy, if his reputation had any say. Honorable? She'd have to find out. After what seemed an eternity, she grasped it and shook it._

* * *

**Chapter 24**

**- Realizations -**

Tuesday.

Why in the hell couldn't it be the weekend?

Time seemed to slow to a crawl. If Professor Mendez could make Arithmetic any more boring than it already was, the students would off themselves before the final bell rang.

During the lecture, Bellatrix found herself remembering the way Sirius had triumphantly declared himself the winner of their last bet – not only had he managed to get Peter out of detention, but he'd gotten him an extension for the assignment that he'd failed to turn in. _And_ Madam Hooch had decided to de-benched him.

Laughing, Peter and Remus had gladly dished out the money, and the talk had swiftly changed to the upcoming basketball match that they were going to participate in.

Even if she was not one for sports, Bellatrix sure as hell found it a much more appeasing topic to think about. When the bell finally pealed through the school, she had to work to bring herself out of the numb state she was in. She could have sworn her brain had turned to mush so much so that she didn't think she could tell one number apart from another.

"Can we talk?"

The pink hair really was too much to bear. Almost like a rude awakening. Of its own accord, Bellatrix's lip curled into its signature sneer. "What do you want, Tonks?"

"In private, please?"

In private was ideal. Where on earth did this girl get her fashion tips from? Bellatrix would just die from embarrassment if people started talking about how they were seen in public together – worse yet, on her assent. "Guilty by association" was not a term Bellatrix wanted plastered onto her.

She felt a twinge of shame at the way she was so conscious of her self-image. She could already picture Remus shaking his head in disapproval.

…Wait.

Since when did Remus' opinion count?

In an effort to stop herself from thinking down that unchartered territory, Bellatrix gathered her things and followed Pink out. She concentrated instead on criticizing everything Tonks was wearing, from her large green-and-white beaded necklace to her yellow and black sweater and tight jeans that bunched at her ankles.

Okay, so her clothes weren't _that_ bad. Bellatrix decided that the beads could stay. They were the only thing that saved Tonks from a total fashion wipe out – they drew the eyes away from the horrid pink color of her hair.

Tonks led them right outside of the library, the territory of Madam Pince who disliked noise so much that even the hallway was obliged to be quiet. It was also the place where the student population was sparsest.

Not wanting to venture any further into the hornet's nest, so to speak, Bellatrix stopped. "All right, Tonks. Speak." She was acutely aware of the fact that all the freaks seemed to have a way with seeking her out. Only a few months ago Lily had done the same thing. She shouldn't have set the precedent.

"Are you seeing Lupin?"  
"What?"

"And here I thought your cousin was supposed to be the idiot – you know, being blond and all," Tonks said, sarcastically.

Bellatrix narrowed her eyes. "Watch it, Tonks. You don't want _me_ to start in on stereotypes."

Tonks shifted so that her left hip stuck out and she placed her hand atop it. "Fine. I was out of line. But do I honestly have to spell it out for you?" At Bellatrix's glare, Tonks sighed. "Are you and Lupin dating, or aren't you?"

There was the question of the century.

Suddenly, Bellatrix felt way out of her element. She remembered the way Remus had drawn her close just the other day, how natural it had felt…how she had not even realized it had been happening until she could feel the vibrations of his laughter through their bodies pressed together.

Oh, dear lord.

Bellatrix Lestrange did not blush like some school girl who had a crush.

She actually ducked her head in an effort to hide the fact that she was indeed turning red.

If there was ever a time she was embarrassed, it was now. Couple the feeling with that of guilt, it was the ultimate whammy. The defeated look that passed over Tonks' face tripled her self-reproach. "I knew it. I _knew_ he'd never look twice at me," the girl groaned.

Not one to give comfort, Bellatrix did not say anything.

"But you," Tonks was continuing, "he's always liked."

That caught Bellatrix off-guard. "What?"

Tonks shot her a frustrated look. "Don't play dumb. You've always loved attracting boys to you like a moth to a flame. Even while you were with Black you were always flirting with Lupin on the side."

"And every other boy in the school," Bellatrix tried to defend herself, pathetically.

"Not like Lupin," Tonks insisted. "Why did you have to go after the only boy that I'm interested in?"

"Look, he told me himself that he wasn't interested in me," Bellatrix offered, and yet again, her effort to defend herself sounded very pathetic. Her mind flipped back to her dates with Remus to try and pinpoint the exact words he had used to reject her, only to find out that he hadn't exactly done so.

Deflected her, yes, but he hadn't rejected the idea of going out with her.

Shit.

"I told him about you," she said, loudly, to combat her roaring thoughts. "I told him that you fancy him."

Tonks seemed to get so angry that her face turned as pink as her hair. Bellatrix was sure she was going to start scratching and screaming any moment. Well, she'd had her fair share of cat fights.

Bring it!

She had just started to crouch defensively when Tonks' color drained from her face and shook her head. "Lupin's admired you ever since middle school. I know because I've been watching him for that long."

Bellatrix cleared her throat, uncomfortably. "That's kinda…creepy."

Tonks' eyes flashed. "I can't help who I've fallen in love with."

"Had a school girl fantasy about," Bellatrix snapped the correction, ruthlessly, as she was known to do. "And if Lupin's really liked me for that long, why hasn't he said anything?"

"To you? The ice queen?" Tonks scoffed. "You, who had the almighty Sirius Black on her arm everywhere she went? No way."

For some reason, Bellatrix felt herself glow with unexpected happiness. Not understanding it, she pushed the feeling away and shook her head. "You're being ridiculous, Pink. And fucking annoying."

"So, you're using him, then?"

"Don't put words in my mouth." Bellatrix was starting to lose her patience with this simpering idiot. God only knew how this conversation lasted for as long as it had. Bellatrix was disgusted with herself. "If you're looking for a fight, you're picking it with the wrong person." She raised her head, haughtily. "You'd lose before it even began."

Tonks sneered, "I may not be able to compare with you, Lestrange, but I've got the heart to know that Lupin doesn't deserve to be treated as second best. Rebounding off on him because Black dumped you!" Her voice had risen to a shriek. "You don't even like him!"

"What in the hell do you know?" Bellatrix asked, coldly. "Don't you dare make your failure my fault! If Remus chose me over you, then it's his choice, not yours!" With the last two words, she jabbed a finger in the other girl's direction for emphasis.

Her words rang back to her, tauntingly. _If Sirius chose Lily over you, then it's his choice, not yours…_

Madam Pince's voice lashed out at them like a whip, causing both of them to jump. "Girls! Do I have to remind you to lower your voice? Why the hysterics outside of my sanctum?" She had stuck her head out the library's doorway, and was glaring daggers at them.

Tonks glanced over at the Professor petulantly and Bellatrix abruptly turned away from them, trying to take deep calming breaths. As much as she hated to admit it, Tonks' words had struck her harder than she let on. Maybe seeking solace in Remus' company hadn't been the right thing to do.

Maybe she was hurting him.

If so, she hadn't meant to.

Through clenched teeth, Bellatrix announced, "Don't worry, Professor. We're done here." Glancing over her shoulder to look pointedly at Tonks, she added, "At least, one of us is."

Seeming to get the hint, Pink balled her hands into fists and stormed away. Bellatrix watched her go, before departing in the opposite direction, leaving behind one very confused Librarian.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Don impatiently shifted in his seat, checking his gages for what seemed like the millionth time. His left foot shifted gears in an absent manner and he listened to the clicks through the hum of his motorcycle.

Check, check, check.

Everything was smooth, just as he knew it would be.

He knew his bike better than the back of his hand.

The dark leather of his jacket creaked as he bent over, fingers flexing over the clutches.

Behind him, he could hear people shouting – a necessary action because of all the commotion that was going on in the room – back and forth, their voices become one large garbled sound that he did not bother to try and understand.

The place was rather stuffy with so many people crowded together into one room. To make things worse, sixteen other motorcycles were crammed in along with them, each of a different design, each customized to fit their riders. Their sounds and smells mingled creating more noise than was necessary.

Some of the motorcycles were quite impressive, but that wasn't the most important part of racing. Anyone could have all the gear, but very few had the skill.

Somehow, he doubted any one of these people possessed that.

Yeah, he was a cynical bastard. He had to be. His team would suffer if he wasn't. Don was nothing short of a perfectionist in this world. What ticked him off the most was that people did not take racing half as seriously as he did. For him, this was not just a fun sport that he indulged in.

Don't get him wrong: sure, the money was good. The fame even better. But those reasons for racing were secondary to the real reason why he'd become professional. Not racing would be like…not breathing.

This was his way of living.

Literally.

He couldn't picture himself doing anything else.

He felt like he would die if he didn't.

"_Donovan_! Are you listening?" The voice in his ear made him swear aloud as he was ripped from his inner musings. Only Connor screeched his name that way. No one could sound more annoying. "Have you checked your - "

" - Tire pressure is fine. Calipers, rotors, and clutch cables, are fine, too. All switches are fully operational," Don drawled, in a ritualistic manner, going through the checklist quickly. He waved his hand as if to try and brush the elder man away. "I've made my adjustments already."

That didn't seem to satisfy him. He didn't want the star player to crash and burn. Seeing the look on his face, Donovan reached over to grab his helmet from him. "Relax, Trace. It's just an exhibition."

If anything, Connor tensed some more. "Knowing you, you'll make it into much more than that. You're recruiting, after all."

Really, Don should have been used to this lecture. In fact, he should have been able to mouth it along with the man after having heard it again and again but he didn't because he couldn't blame him for worrying. Racing was a dangerous sport for all the fun that it looked like.

Trace Connor was one of the team's coaches, in charge of Vehicle Maintenance. The others specialized in the areas of Terrain Leveling, Physical Fitness, Stat Records and Campaign. They were currently engaged in their checks with the other Marauders, who were also going to put on a show for the fans and the hopefuls.

A group of white and red uniformed men and women paraded across the already crowded room – the Medics. It was a known fact that people got injured during events like these and it was useful to have them around. Usually, they were stationed around the track, stretchers and emergency kits littered their ground bases. A few ambulances were always present on the outskirts of the arena.

"Let's not give Nott a hard time trying to piece you together again if you get yourself into more trouble than is necessary, yeah?"

Don almost flipped him one but caught himself just in time. Instead, he snorted as he pushed the helmet over his head and lifted the visor. "I'd be more worried about those unchecked players," his voice was slightly muffled as he spoke. "Unless it's timed runs, I've never wiped out. I don't plan to."

Squatting, Connor tapped the engine once as if to check and see that it was still fully functional. "Don't get so cocky, kid. I'll be waiting in the pit stop if you need me."

Snapping his visor closed, Don answered, "I won't."

He didn't plan on going all out today because he figured there would be no need to. All these hopeful potentials just didn't seem very intriguing. Most of them were so nervous they looked like they were going to be sick.

None of the fuckers were going to be doing anything but hanging onto his coattails.

In truth, he'd hoped that maybe Sirius had changed his mind. That maybe he'd come after all. But his face was not in the crowded room. If it had been, it would have been quite a shock. Don knew Sirius would not want to be caught anywhere near him – their encounter back at Sirius' apartment spoke volumes in and of itself.

He'd followed the address that Charlie'd given him, forgoing calling Sirius ahead of time. He knew Sirius would never entertain a conversation, much less a request to meet face to face. So Don had done the next best thing and paid him a surprise visit.

He heaved a sigh, as he remembered how his brief encounter with Sirius had been more than disastrous. In short words, he'd had to nurse a black eye for two weeks with the excuse that he'd gotten into a scuffle with a total stranger.

He was surprised his team had bought the bullshit. Or perhaps, they were prudent enough not to ask.

Whatever the case, Don was disappointed that he couldn't convince Sirius to reconsider. Sirius was still fine-tuning his motorcycle - clearly riding it. It was amazing that he'd even elected to own one, what with his traumatic experience. Could it be that it was his way of remembering James?

"Donovan!" Connor sounded annoyed. "Pay attention!"

Grumbling to himself, Don turned his head in Trace's direction. "Matt is going to go over the finer details of the Terrain with you in just a moment," the man said. "Keep your head in the game, Verovich. Exhibition or not, you can't afford to lose your concentration."

Choosing not to answer, because he'd certainly say something offensive, Don decided to nod instead.

Matt ambled over, saving Don from more lecturing. "Just like our trial runs, Don," was all he said, giving the younger boy a thumbs up signal.

At Trace's stunned expression, Don smirked and revved his engine, the loud growl piercing through the ruckus of the room and making all heads swivel in his direction.

It was time.

* * *

**Sadness, pain and sorrow**

**Come in the form of regret**

* * *

This was the first time she saw a waterfall.

Granted, it wasn't very big. In fact, it only occupied one wall, where the designers had deemed it best to do the landscaping. While it was out of place, it somehow seemed to fit the rest of the restaurant's atmosphere.

Made up of dark-paneled walls and in-face lighting, the restaurant had an air of class. Pristine white linen covered each tabletop and roses – fresh ones – sat as centerpieces. Plush seating had been provided as well, but very few people were present to sit on them all.

In fact, aside from her, there were only six others in the room, not including the staff.

"Can I take your coat, Miss?" a waiter asked.

Lily instinctively clutched her coat closer to herself. "N-no. Thank you. No."

If the waiter was confused by her fear of him, he didn't let himself show it. Instead, he smiled politely and was about to ask her if she wanted a table when someone interrupted him.

"It's all right, Mr. Finley, I've been expecting her."

Both of them turned to see Orion walking towards them, and Finley seemed to snap to attention. "Sir. Of course, sir." Lily had the amusing thought that if the man were a soldier, he would have saluted.

Orion took it in stride and offered his hand to Lily. "Miss Evans, I'm delighted that you agreed to meet me today. It's good to see you again."

This time around, Sirius' father was dressed in a dark blue business suit, complete with a silver-gray tie. With his hair neatly combed back, Lily thought that he looked rather intimidating. Or maybe it was because she was now equipped with the knowledge that he was a very powerful man.

Hesitating only momentarily, Lily took his hand and shook it once. She was relieved when he did not move to squeeze it or let the gesture linger. Instead, he motioned behind him. "I hope you don't mind that I've taken the liberty to order lunch for the both of us."

She shook her head and with a signal from Orion, Finley led them away, towards a table to the back, where the waterfall was clearly visible.

Maybe Orion had taken Lily's apprehension into consideration because the table was located next to a large window where she could see a crowded street of people milling around. Everyone seemed in a rush despite the lunch hour, moving back and forth, looking smart in their suits and skirts. A sense of calm washed over her, knowing that she was somewhat safe even with a stranger sitting across from her.

Orion was watching her and she fretted over whether or not she looked presentable enough. John had given her the heads up so she was somewhat prepared this time around. Unfortunately, she had a serious lack of wardrobe so she was stuck with a pair of low rise jeans and a yellow cardigan. Again, her thoughts went back to Bellatrix and how she would have made a better impression. Maybe she could trouble the girl for some tips…

"How are you and Sirius getting along?"

The question forced Lily out of her silent worry. "We're…we're fine, thank you."

He laced his fingers under his chin and rested his elbows on the table. She was surprised at the action, but then again, she supposed that being who he was allowed him certain privileges over others – and that included overlooking table manners. That may have explained Sirius' lack in them, too…

A smile flitted over the man's lips. "I'm glad to hear that he hasn't driven you over the wall, so to speak."

Lily lifted her chin, defensively. "Sirius takes good care of me."

Orion chuckled, then, and shook his head as though to dissuade her from thinking that he meant offense. "No doubt he does."

She felt herself blush and reminded herself to keep an open mind: just because Sirius hated his father, she had no cause to.

Yet.

She would not judge based off of someone else's prejudice, even if she was highly receptive to Sirius' feelings and opinions. She had to remember that if she'd based her scrutiny of others off of hearsay, she'd have never fallen in love with Sirius to begin with.

"He's got his faults," Lily allowed, at last, with a resigned sigh.

At that, Orion nodded. "He can be stubborn." On an afterthought, he corrected himself. "Quite stubborn, actually."

It was Lily's turn to smile. "But I suppose," the man continued, "it has everything to do with the way he was raised. I'll apologize on his behalf."

"Don't," Lily told him. "Each man must be responsible for their own actions."

Orion measured her words carefully, and she could see amusement and surprise in the depth of his eyes. "Well said, Lily. You've got quite the philosopher's mind in you."

She hunched her shoulders, unable to help the warm glow of pride that his words awarded her.

When the food arrived and was placed in front of them, Orion leaned forward. "And how are you, Lily?" he asked, sounding genuinely concerned. "Have you thought about my offer?"

She knew exactly what he was talking about. "I'm…I'm getting better," she said. And it was true because only two months ago, she would never have dreamed herself to be living voluntarily in the company of a man, nor being able to converse with strangers. With Sirius' help, she was learning to cope with her past. It was always there, ready to haunt her, but he was ready to lend her support and comforting words. He knew when to keep his distance, knew when she needed to be alone. She loved him for being considerate, and she hated herself for tying him down to her.

If she stayed with Orion, maybe he would be able to breathe a little easier. "Sirius…he works two jobs, sir. And he has school and extra credit classes…and…well, I hate being a burden to him." She met his gaze, earnestly. "I'd hate to be a burden on you, too."

His hand stopped reaching for the first course at her words. "My dear, clearly Sirius is fond of you. I've never known him to keep anyone but his brother around for more than a week." His hand continued toward the plate and he passed it to her. "You may think of it as my thanks to you. Somehow, according to his landlord, you've changed him."

Lily remembered that he had been speaking with John just the other week, the day she had first laid eyes on him. Absently, she took the dish from him and helped herself to the chicken. It was roasted with some sort of herbs and was splattered with a green sauce that would have looked unappetizing if not for the way the cooks had presented the meal.

_Had_ she changed Sirius? She realized that aside from the brief history he'd given her, Lily didn't know much about him. Before he'd stepped into her world, all she'd known were the rumors at school and she never really paid much attention to those.

Well, she supposed she knew much more about him than those kids at school ever would. His favorite food. His sleeping habits. His quirks. But that, she realized in surprise, was about all.

In an attempt to get to know him a bit more, Lily ventured, "Sirius told me that he had a brother. He said…he said things went…bad…" she was sure she didn't have to elaborate. Orion must have known how it had affected Sirius because the man had had his son instated at the Center. Unable to keep the curiosity at bay, she asked, "Is it true, then? That he's…gone?"

Orion's face fell, clearly pained: and here she'd thought she was being considerate by beating around the bush with her questions. She suddenly wished she hadn't asked and was going to open her mouth to apologize when the man chose to respond. "James died four years ago, in an accident. A motorcycle crash, to be exact."

Not knowing what to say, Lily ducked her head. "Sirius changed, after that," Orion continued. "I doubt he'll ever fully come to terms with James' death." The sound of utensils hitting chinaware told her that the man had begun to eat. Or rather, pushing his food around. "They were close, you know. Inseparable."

Finding her voice, Lily said, "Like twins."

"Exactly like twins," Orion confirmed, and Lily looked up to see the man smiling wistfully. He motioned for her to start eating so she picked up her fork and complied, pondering his words.

Had Sirius chosen to forget James' death? Or the fact that James existed at all? These questions she didn't ask, knowing that Orion would not have the answers. She was certain that Sirius would not want to answer those questions either.

Her heart ached for him.

If he had chosen to forget James, it would be too sad.

Wanting to steer clear of the dark topic because she didn't know how to approach it delicately enough, Lily decided to ask other questions. "Could you…could you tell me about him? About Sirius?"

A look of relief crossed Orion's features, and he reached over to take a sip of wine as though to clear his throat. "Compared to James, Sirius was more open and carefree, always laughing…it was as though the sun was always shining on him, if you know what I mean."

As Lily listened, she had difficulty seeing Sirius as his father described him. She'd pinned him as withdrawn, only putting on airs when he was in front of his friends. To her, Sirius was confident and courageous but he was also solemn and wary, adapting to circumstances as they came his way. He was definitely not open or carefree. His laughter was something that one harvested and hoarded whenever they could because it was not hashed out frequently enough.

Orion finished off his chicken and asked her to pass him the salad bowl before he continued. "Sirius has always been affectionate. He used to bring his mum flowers cut from her own garden." That gained an amused smile from Lily which he mirrored. "No matter what situation he was in, he was always able to make people fall in love with him."

Now _that _Lily could relate to. She let Orion speak, savoring his words as much as the food. "But, oh! Those boys knew how to get into trouble without looking for it." He proceeded to tell her stories about the pranks that Sirius and James had pulled when they were children. Things like adding paint to detergent just to see what their clothes would look like after washing. Or sneaking out of bed for midnight snacks. Or taking household items and swapping their places to make things very frustrating to find. "It used to drive Lucretia and I crazy," Orion laughed. "James was lucky, I suppose, because Sirius got the brunt of the scolding most times. I'd bet my arm and leg that James was the one who came up with most of the ideas but Sirius was always sticking up for him, always thinking of others before himself."

Ah, yes. Yet another trait that Lily could relate to. Sirius was the type to come to anyone's rescue and she was glad that that hadn't changed about him. "In short, my son was happy." Orion's eyes turned sad again. "That's all I wanted him to be…"

Abruptly, Lily remembered the painting she had seen of him back at the Museum.

They ate in silence for a long while, Lily letting the man gather his composure while she tried to digest the image of Sirius in all its detail.

She couldn't help but be baffled: she'd thought Orion to be a spiteful man because of the way Sirius seemed so averse to him. Instead, he spoke of Sirius with such fondness that it was hard not to see the love he held for his son.

He seemed to read her mind because he said quietly, "I would do anything for him."

Her eyes unexpectedly filled with tears. "Me too," she answered. She didn't want to tell him of her plans for Sirius. Instead, she nudged her plate, now empty, forward. "If he wants me to go into your custody, then I will."

Orion studied her gravely before nodding. "I'm glad he found you, Lily. He needs someone who can put up with him and his…difficulties. He's had a few other girlfriends in the past, but he's never been as serious with them as he is with you.

"I know because he would rather die than come and ask me for help. But for you, he did. I'm very glad to hear that he's treating you right. After all you've been through, you deserve it."

In that moment, Lily decided that she liked the man. Unlike her Uncle, who was a selfish bastard and didn't care about her feelings, Orion expressed a real concern for her. "Thank you, sir. For everything."

He smiled at her, warmly. "No, thank _you_. You've chosen to stay with my son and your doing so has made him happier than he has been in a long time." He motioned for a waiter to give them the bill and as they waited for it, Orion said, "What I did to Sirius…it was only with the best intentions. One day, I hope Sirius will see that…"

Lily believed him. Uncharacteristically, she reached across the table to put a comforting hand on his arm and Orion patted it gratefully. She wished, somehow, that whatever differences had come between these two would be patched up. But, as Orion had said, Sirius could be stubborn when he wanted to.

She remembered what Orion had told her back at her apartment. It had been two years since the two of them had seen each other. She was almost certain that that encounter hadn't been pretty. On top of everything, Sirius also had a flaring temper.

Yeah. For _sure _it hadn't gone well.

Once they were ready to leave, he asked whether she would like a drive home, but she shook her head: she wasn't quite ready to get into a small space alone with someone just yet. She could not bear the thought of being closed in. Of having no way out.

"There's still plenty of time left before Sirius gets home from school," Lily told him, in an effort to save face. "I'm in no hurry. I'd rather walk."

If he knew the real reason why she declined, he did not comment on it. Rather, he nodded and shook her hand once more. "I'll expect you at my residences come next week, then. I'll give John the details. Until then." He pressed a business card into her palm before heading out.

As Lily prepared herself to go outside, she reflected on their conversation. Her life, it seemed, would never be simple. Anxiety over the inevitable change in her life was almost suffocating. Somewhat resigned to the fact, she began her long trek home.

It was quite surprising that the weather was behaving. She'd expected snow and worse, a biting wind. Instead, the sky was clear, and the sun was shyly peeking through the gaps in the clouds. A soft breeze caressed her hair, making it flicker outward like a flame that was wavering before it settled once more onto her shoulders. It was still cold, though, so she secured her scarf around her neck and stuffed her hands into her pockets.

Since the lunch hour rush was over, the noise in the streets was reduced and the crowd had thinned to pockets of people who were lingering around, having conversations and not paying her the least bit of attention. Somehow, the sight helped calm her swirling thoughts.

Lily tried to sort them out as she walked. She was running out of time. If she was expected to move out of the apartment, she had to talk to Sirius beforehand. She'd have to try and convince him to go to the Institute. She wanted to ask him about his plans of having her live with his father and find out about the pending case. She wasn't looking forward to it at all…

Her thoughts turned to Orion's stories and she ended up wondering what kind of person James had been. He was a mischief maker but she wondered whether he had been a gentle person despite that. A part of her wished he were still alive so that she could meet him, while the other was glad he wasn't so that Sirius' attention wouldn't be divided between the two of them.

Lily berated herself for being so selfish. If James were alive, then Sirius wouldn't have to go through all this pain. She found herself wishing that somehow she would have the strength to help Sirius get over it all.

The problem was getting him to accept that help.

To her surprise, when she returned home, she saw that the door to her apartment was open. Lily knew that she hadn't left it that way like she had done the other day; she had learned her lesson well and had made sure to lock it firmly behind her.

No.

Either someone had broken in or…

Sirius was home.

Lily didn't know how she knew it (he was supposed to be in class!) but she was confident that it was him.

A gut feeling told her that something was wrong. The fact that Sirius was home early should have warned her, but she decided to ignore it and push ahead.

There he was, sitting down on the edge of her bed, his wavy hair falling in strands around his face when they would usually be tied back. He was still wearing his coat, she noted, which meant that he hadn't been home for very long.

Lily was about to greet him when he suddenly looked up, and his smoldering glare froze her in her tracks.

Breathlessly, and as though in slow motion, her eyes traveled from his angry face to his hands when he stood up. In his right, was her cell phone and in his left, a small stack of papers.

"Lily…" his voice was low, dangerous.

Hurt.

Fear lanced through her as she caught sight of the logo that was embossed on the papers.

Oh God…

The Institute.

The paperwork!

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

**AN:**Happy New Year everyone! This year, my goal is to finish this story. So, here's to inspiration. Here's to hope that I can find the time to write and update faster. For all of you who have stuck with me this far, thank you. For all your comments and encouragements, I can't begin to explain how grateful I am. It has helped me grow as a writer. And heck, plainly speaking, I get tickled pink at all the awesome reviews.

And so, the journey continues. If you're up for it, I invite you along for the ride.

Thanks for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


	25. Breaking Down Glass Houses

**GENUINE GEMINI by: P.P.V.V.**

_Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim applies…_

* * *

**AN:** I like to dig myself into lots of trouble. Add work, training and puppies together, and you get the recipe for disaster. That's the best excuse I can come up with for my tardiness. In any case, here's the next chapter. Thanks for your patience and I hope you enjoy.

* * *

_Previously: _

_A gut feeling told Lily that something was wrong. The fact that Sirius was home early should have warned her, but she decided to ignore it and push ahead. _

_ There he was, sitting down on the edge of her bed, his wavy hair falling in strands around his face when they would usually be tied back. He was still wearing his coat, she noted, which meant that he hadn't been home for very long._

_ Lily was about to greet him when he suddenly looked up, and his smoldering glare froze her in her tracks. _

_ Breathlessly, and as though in slow motion, her eyes traveled from his angry face to his hands when he stood up. In his right, was her cell phone and in his left, a small stack of papers. _

_ "Lily…" his voice was low, dangerous. _

_ Hurt. _

_ Fear lanced through her as she caught sight of the logo that was embossed on the papers. _

_ Oh God…_

_ The Institute._

_ The paperwork!_

* * *

**Chapter 25**

**- Breaking Glass Houses -**

Throat and mouth suddenly going dry, Lily groped for words to say.

Something.

Anything.

…Nothing.

"When you didn't answer your cell phone, I thought something terrible happened to you so I hurried home." Sirius held out her phone in a trembling hand, but Lily couldn't find it in herself to move forward and get it. She hadn't even noticed she'd left the house without it. "It was at the bottom of your book bag," he said, quietly, as though reading her mind. "Along with…" his other hand slowly raised itself to present the papers that she had hidden from him. "Tell me…" Sirius' voice shook in either an effort to control his temper or in anguish. Perhaps both. It made a tremor run through Lily, regardless. "Tell me that these," he shook the papers slightly for emphasis, "aren't what I think they are."

Swallowing took more effort than was necessary. "Sirius…"

His eyes widened slightly when she did not dissuade the idea and a pregnant pause hung in the air as he tried to understand the implications of her silence. Shaking his head, he took a deep breath. "How could you?" He asked, at last, his voice which had been a little over a whisper, rising slightly in volume. "Lily, how _could_ you?"

They stared at each other, as though seeing each other for the very first time. It was all Lily could do not to bolt out the door behind her, but a small flame of anger stirred inside her chest, rooting her to her spot. At first, she was surprised by the feeling – it was something she usually reserved for people like her Uncle, not for Sirius. But for some reason, it flickered to life and was continually growing until she felt her cheeks heat. "I was scared," she told him, her voice steady despite her warring feelings. "I just wanted to help you."

That seemed to set him off. "Help?" he demanded. "I don't need _help_!" his eyes adopted the heavy-lidded look that had been present at the hospital, along with something else she couldn't quite place. Desperation? Fear?

No…a wild ferocity.

That in itself scared her. Somehow, she knew that if she didn't approach this delicately, he'd snap and never come back.

"Yes. You do." The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. His look changed to that of incredulity. "Those spells…we have to do something!"

"They're under control," he told her, in almost a pleading way. "They happen all the time."

She shook her head, refusing to cave in. _You have to be strong_, she told herself, sternly. "No, they don't. According to the doctors and to the Healer, they aren't normal."

Sirius spat, "What do they know?"

Lily's mind raced to try and put the fires of his anger out, but she knew she was quickly losing the battle. "Sirius, if you'd just listen…"

"I already told you, they've tried everything. Just say it - you want me to go back there because you can't stand my differences any more."

Her heart thumped at his words. "Sirius, that's not..."

"You want to lock me up because you think I'm crazy!" He shouted. She realized he was terrified and that he was retreating behind hurriedly built glass walls.

Had that been what they'd done to him there? Had he been locked away?

"You're not," Lily told him, as gently as she could. "But even you have to admit that you aren't better."

"I'm fine!" he threw the papers on the floor with such vengeance that she flinched. The fire in her chest burned something fierce, now. "Stop being so stubborn!" she cried. "You can deny it all you want, but the truth is the truth, Sirius. Not breathing? Next time around, you might not be as lucky!" He looked like he wanted to say something, but she cut in before he could. "Two spells at once. It took you _hours_ to come out of them. If John and I hadn't been there, you could have died!"

Hours?

His head spun sickeningly just at the thought. He almost had to sit back down at the news. His spells seemed to be making record highs as time went on. The worst part was that he couldn't remember any of it. All he could remember was the fact that he had woken up in the hospital and that his body had felt like it had been ripped apart and reassembled in the wrong way.

"And you don't remember any of it," Lily was continuing, knowingly. Her voice was full of tears. "I can't…I won't see you suffer like that, any more."

He glanced down at the scattered papers, the logo of the Institute seeming to mock him. "Out of the question," he said, at last. No. Absolutely not. He couldn't. He wouldn't. He'd made a promise to himself that he'd get better on his own. He'd cope.

He'd manage.

"But you went back that time you disappeared!" Lily protested. "Wasn't it because you were afraid you'd scare me away? You wanted the condition to end!"

His glare was scorching. "I went back because I felt inadequate. But I quit when I realized that you would accept me no matter what." He turned abruptly, to slam her cell phone down on the table. "I guess I was wrong."

Lily watched him, feeling her heart try to sink while at the same time try to climb upward to her mouth. "You know that's not true."

"Isn't it?" He demanded. "Why didn't you tell me what you were thinking before you went and filled the papers out on my behalf, then?"

The anger that had been building itself steadily through their argument flared to the point that Lily had to put her hand over her heart in an effort to bottle it up. "That's not fair," she cried. "How about the things you weren't telling me?"

At his bewildered expression, she snatched up her cell phone. "You knew – you _knew _how I'd feel – but you went and put me under the care of someone else!"

It was Sirius' turn to grow guiltily silent. "How could _you_?" she shot back, and she realized that she was shouting too. "You didn't even bother to ask if it would be all right…if I would be okay living with someone else. Living with a complete _stranger_!" She reached up to swipe her sleeve over her eyes, realizing belatedly that she was crying. "Did you just forget?"

"Of course I didn't forget!" Sirius told her. "I did it for your own good!"

"Don't!" she yelled. "Just don't!" Impatiently, she wiped more tears away. "You're such a hypocrite!"

His hands balled into fists, and let out a swear word under his breath.

Those stupid, stupid tears! Lily hated how cowardly she was. Turning her face from him in an effort to hide them, she heard him grab his keys and stride toward the exit. He paused for the briefest moment beside her before letting himself out, slamming the door behind him hard enough to make the windows shudder.

Lily didn't move to stop him. Instead, she leaned her forehead against the door, unable to stop the sobs that accompanied the frenzied beating of her heart.

**0-0-0-0-0**

If the weather had been nicer earlier, it was terrible now. As if picking up on his bad mood, the wind surged forward, making his black locks whip every which way. Sirius reached up to gather them and stuff what he could into the hood of his sweater.

His jacket was not successful in keeping the chill from his body and he miserably hunched his shoulders against the cold as he wandered, trying to put as much distance between him and Lily as possible.

He was so angry that he wanted to punch something and he wished that he were able to ride his motorcycle – that would have calmed him down, he was sure of it. But the rational part of him said that he would only have gotten into an accident because of the way he was so upset if he tried to ride.

Shoving his hands deeper into his pockets, he moved as though with purpose across the street.

He'd never gotten into such a terrible argument with Lily before. Sure, they'd had their occasional misunderstanding, but this one…this one had just blown itself way out of proportion. Just thinking back on it made him feel angrier.

Forcing himself to focus on the cold, he kept himself walking. Soon, he began to feel hollow and empty, the angry feeling he'd harbored fading slowly into the recesses of his mind. As his hands and face slowly turned numb, he continued to walk without awareness of where he was heading.

Fuck, he wanted a smoke.

It had been months since he'd last had a cigarette, but the craving hit him with such force that he almost puked right then and there. It was as though he'd just cut the habit all over again.

If anything, the cigarette would warm him up. Letting himself get cold had been such a mistake. To continue to do so would lead to a cold or worse, pneumonia.

So he wandered into the nearest convenience store to buy himself a pack. While he was there, he asked for a bottle of beer, but was disappointed when the cashier told him that they didn't have any in stock.

"We're not licensed to carry alcohol, sir," the man said, apologetically, seeing the expression on Sirius' face. "But there's a pub two blocks ahead if you want."

"That's fine," Sirius told him, throwing cash onto the counter and grabbing the items he'd picked out. He left the store without waiting for the change, too eager to get the tobacco into his system.

He coughed up a storm on his first inhale, and he hoped that no one was around to see it. God, he was so pathetic! Angrily, he drew in another breath, waiting for his nerves to settle.

His feet turned up the street toward the Pub. It was way too early to be drinking, but he didn't care. Maybe if he got himself drunk, he could forget…at least for a little while. Yeah, he wanted that crushing pain that had settled itself over his chest to go away. It was almost as bad as his spells, and he struggled to breathe through it.

The pain of betrayal.

How could he have let himself get so open?

How could he have let himself get so weak?

He shouldn't have trusted anyone with his feelings.

Quickly, he finished off his cigarette and lit another.

HAPPY HOUR was splayed across the front window of the pub under its name, along with the hours of operation and a sign that was flipped to reveal the fact that it was open. He'd never been to _The_ _Fox and the Fiddle_ before. In fact, he wasn't sure which neighborhood he'd wandered into – proof that he'd been upset enough not to notice his surroundings. He'd worry about finding his way home later.

If he decided to go home at all.

Pushing away the thought as he did the same action with the pub's door, Sirius let himself in.

Inside was just as depressing as its exterior. Most of the patio furniture had been moved indoors. Closed umbrellas, rusted seats and wooden tables were pushed to the side of the room where, he supposed, the equipment became part of the decoration if you visited the place enough.

Dim lighting revealed an old fireplace that served more as a wine rack than a heat source, a pool table, and several tables and chairs that were set up without any particular order to them. The only thing in the place that looked new was the massive bar that occupied the center of the room with stools surrounding its perimeter.

Sirius glanced around the place, noting that despite its run down and shabby appearance, it was clean. The floors, though uneven, were newly mopped and the bar had been wiped down to the point where it shone in the afternoon sun.

There were a group of high school girls who were gathered around the pool table, some of them smoking. All of them wore school uniforms that had been altered in the most aesthetically pleasing way. Because of the lighting in the room, he wasn't sure if their skirts were a light blue or gray in color, but that didn't really matter to him.

He found himself wondering how they could stand the cold dressed as they were: he'd seen prostitutes wear more clothes than them. All of them stopped what they were doing to look at him. Calmly, he allowed his gaze to roam each of their faces. They began to whisper and giggle amongst themselves.

Typical.

A waitress interrupted his scrutiny then. Much to his surprise, it was a girl who looked no more than ten years old and she approached him with what seemed like trepidation. "Can I help you?" she asked. Even her voice sounded young.

He couldn't help but stare. Damn it, she didn't even have breasts. Wasn't this considered child labor? Her face was small, her eyes hidden by bushy brown bangs. He noticed she was wearing braces when she gave him a tentative smile.

"I want a drink," Sirius told her, ignoring the snickers that came from the pool table. "The strongest stuff you have on the house."

Her gaze roamed his features, something that Sirius was used to girls doing, and she blushed when he cleared his throat, impatiently. "Of course. This way…" she proceeded to lead him through the small space, past the girls who watched him like hungry vultures. Sirius absently reached over to crush his cigarette stalk into an ashtray as he followed her, slouching slightly.

The owner of the pub must have been the waitress' father because they shared the same features, from the bushy hair to the wiry frame. For some reason, Sirius thought of Lily's uncle and wondered if the girl was doing this against her will. He couldn't help his glare when the man came forward saying, "Sir, I'll need some identification…"

"I'm old enough to go to jail without a juvenile trial," Sirius told him, in clipped tones. "If you can't get me a drink, I'll just go somewhere else."

Father and daughter exchanged a look before the man hurried off to make the drink, most probably because he didn't want to get into an argument. The waitress slunk back into the kitchens, terrified.

Sirius didn't ask the name of the drink. It was passable stuff, burning as it went down. He had three of them in a row, much to the owner's dismay, but he was wise enough not to try and lecture Sirius out of drinking a fourth. But when he asked for yet another, he finally spoke. "Are you driving?"

"What's it to you?"

"If you want, I can call a taxi," the man offered, ignoring Sirius' snap.

Sirius took a second to give himself an assessment before shaking his head. Other than a small buzz and a pressure behind his eyes, he was fine. "I can walk." He tapped his finger on his empty glass in indication that he was tired of the small talk and just wanted a refill.

"Can I get you to pay for the bill before you get too drunk to understand me?"

The right git. Sirius bit back a growl as he moved to get his wallet. To his surprise, his actions were wooden and clumsy. Huh. Maybe he was drunk after all. After some fumbling around, he produced a couple of bills and slapped them onto the table.

The bartender picked them up and refilled Sirius' mug to the brim. He nervously turned away, but froze when Sirius said knowingly, "I didn't ask you to water it down."

Slowly, the man turned to face him. "Look, I know it's not my business, but...I'd feel better knowing that you didn't get yourself messed up after drinking here. I hate having to deal with the police. Besides," he swiped a meaty hand across his head, "you're too young to be so miserable. Leave that to us old folk."

Sirius stared at him, trying to drudge up enough anger to give the guy a telling, but he found himself amused instead. Without responding, he proceeded to pick up the glass and drain it of its contents again. When he was finished, he met the keeper's eyes again. "Uh…"

A small smile tugged at the man's lips. "It's best to stay seated until the headache goes away. Exploding Snap can really whip you unexpectedly."

Exploding Snap? Fitting name.

Sirius drew in deep breaths. He might actually grow to like this drink, but he decided that next time, he'd show a bit more respect for it. He didn't wince when the headache grew in intensity. In fact, he relished it.

The drink must have dulled his senses because he nearly jumped out of his skin when someone touched his arm.

One of the girls.

"Hey, there. Wanna play?"  
Sirius understood her connotation immediately but decided to indulge her. "I play seriously," he drawled.

She winked and he noticed she had green eyes. "Is that so? Well, we can all put something on the table." The other girls leaned against their cue sticks at that, giving him leering smiles.

Despite himself, Sirius smirked. Maybe she wasn't such a dipstick after all. He could admire a girl with a quick wit and a sharp tongue. He reached into his coat pocket to light himself another cigarette. "I dunno…I'm kind of out numbered here. A man can only last so long against so many."

Her face lit up at his reply and she moved her hand down his arm to tug at his wrist. "Don't worry, we'll play nice," she all but cooed, coaxing him out of his seat. "It will be fun."

Sirius let out his breath, the thin stream of smoke disappearing into the air. "Sounds good."

**0-0-0-0-0**

Amos and Charlie ambled down the sidewalk, each of them weighted down by purchases from a dealer that had given them what they needed for quite a sum. They contented themselves with the thought that their vehicles would be better off with the parts in the long run, so they tried not to worry about the way their wallets were much lighter than normal.

"These should make the engine run a little better," Amos told Charlie. "How soon do you suppose you could install them?"

Charlie laughed. "Excited, much?"

"I'll never have a bike as good as the Marauders', but I'd like mine to be as close as possible."

"Well, of course you won't - unless you can convince their sponsors to help you out a bit."

Amos smiled wistfully. The Marauders had sponsors lined up for them left, right and center. If one didn't have a sponsor, they had to dole out money out of their own pockets. "Talking about the Marauders…the exhibitions have finally begun, you know."

"And have you heard anything?"

"No one's good enough, it seems. News says that the Marauders are not being impressed at all by what they've seen so far. They say the lack of potential in this town is appalling."

"Or maybe they're all just stuck up asses," Charlie said, remembering Don's attitude back at his shop. After that meeting, he wasn't so sure the man's reputation was as golden as everyone made it out to be: funny how the tabloids hadn't commented on his terrible people skills.  
Amos offered him a non-committal shrug. "Their standards have to be high to keep the quality of the team in shape. I really wish I had the skills to even try out."

"Doesn't everybody," Charlie agreed.

They walked together in silence for a little while, each fantasizing about what it would be like to be a professional racer. They would be able to do what they loved every day and get paid for it. _And_ they'd have fun while they were at it.

Finally, Amos parted ways, agreeing to meet with Charlie again the next day to work on the newest addition to their vehicles.

Now alone, Charlie switched the bag from his right hand to his left as he searched for his cell phone. It was late already – almost midnight – and his mother had been calling him incessantly. Having so many children, one would have thought that Molly Weasely would not be able to keep tabs on all of them. But he was used to her paranoid ways so he gave her a call to reassure her that he was fine and not to worry. He supposed he should be grateful, but sometimes, it could get wearisome.

He decided to take a detour, mentally cursing the weather for making riding next to impossible. He could hardly wait for the snow to melt away completely and by the time it did, he would have his vehicle upgraded. As it was, he was forced to make his way around town on foot because at this time of the night, public transportation was scarce. He expected the streets to be fairly empty, but instead, there was a steady stream of cars going back and forth, and the sidewalks were alive with groups of people.

How many of them were drunk, he could not tell.

_A drink would be nice_, he thought, as he kept his stride at a pace that was neither quick nor lazy; it was prudent to look casual and confident because gangs liked to pick on the unsuspecting. With equipment that was worth hundreds, Charlie wasn't up to getting mugged. He climbed a staircase leading up to a bridge that was built over the main street, dragging his purchases up with him.

A gust of wind picked up, tousling his red hair and cutting through to his bones. He was just considering waiting for whatever public transportation was available when he caught sight of a familiar figure, hunched over the railing, looking down at the busy streets below.

"…Sirius?"

At the mention of his name, the figure straightened and turned his dark head slightly to consider him.

What a small world.

"Charlie." He sounded tired and strained.

"I won't even ask."

Sirius returned his chin to his arms, which he had propped against the railing. His left knee was bent, knocking gently against the bars. Whether it was an agitated manner or one of contemplation, Charlie wasn't sure.

He stood there, awkwardly, wondering whether he should just let Sirius be, but something told him that the elder boy would do something rash.

Well…as long as he didn't jump.

The thought made Charlie take another cautious step forward, just in case.

Finally, Sirius spoke, his voice muffled by his sleeves, and whatever breath escaped was clearly visible as it rose in a cloud against the frigid night air. "I couldn't do it, Charlie..."

The redhead stayed silent. Was Sirius talking about committing suicide? The thought made him panic. He almost missed the fact that he was talking again. "I just can't stop thinking about her – about how much it would hurt her if I made out with someone else..." He buried his face a little more into his arms. "The girl laughed at me when I told her I couldn't."

Relieved that he had been expecting the worst, and unable to keep quiet any longer, Charlie demanded, "Wait…what? You couldn't get it on with someone?" Stiffening, Sirius turned around to glare at him, and Charlie whistled when he didn't deny it. "That's the first…"

Angrily, Sirius swiped the air with a hand. "All I could think about was Lily's reaction. I don't want to hurt her any more, Charlie."

Holding up his hands, Charlie protested, "Look, I'm no counselor, Sirius…I don't even know what's going on here."

Sirius stared at him, hollowly, before turning back to look over the railing. "I thought I could just move on, but I can't. I can't get Lily out of my head."

"All right," hedged Charlie, "you're drunk. You're not making any sense."

Sirius slumped, hitting his knee hard enough against the railing to make himself wince. He wished he were drunk, but instead, his mind was crystal clear to the point where he began to feel guilty for the way he'd treated Lily.

"I can't go back," he whispered. "She probably hates me."

"Sirius, man, are you okay?"

But Sirius didn't answer, obviously off in his own world again, thinking. Charlie let out a huff of disgust. "Don't tell me you're scared of a girl."

This time, Sirius hunched his shoulders as if to fend off the accusation. Ah, so he'd hit a nerve. It was almost shocking. Again, there was an awkward silence that passed between them. What was it about Lily that had Sirius wrapped around her little finger? From what he could remember, she was a cowed girl who didn't have a shred of confidence, nothing that could stand up against someone like Sirius.

Maybe he'd underestimated her.

"You don't have to tell her," Charlie said, unable to stop his sneer. "A guy's allowed to have his fun."

Sirius finally pushed himself away from the railing after another bout of silence, and despite his height and dark demeanor, he seemed like a lost child. "No. I'm done running," he announced. He always ended up in the same place and he was sick of it. He took in two deep breaths and gave Charlie a watery smile. "Thanks a lot, mate."

And with that, he turned and walked away.

Charlie watched him go, completely baffled.

What the _bloody hell_ had that been about?

* * *

**Just keep walking, move straight ahead**

**The best course is one where you never look back**

* * *

The apartment complex, run down and shabby, loomed like a forbidding entity in the darkness. It was not inviting in the least, and for the first time ever, Sirius was afraid to enter it. A part of him was disgusted – how had he sunk so low? The other part of him knew that it was fitting for people like him. He was an outcast of society, misunderstood and judged, like everyone else living here. He found himself wondering what John must feel like when people came to scout the place out.

Ashamed?

No doubt.

If his father ever saw this dump of a place he called home, Sirius was sure he would have a heart attack.

The bitter winds made him move forward, despite the anxiety in his gut. He knew the real reason for his fear and as much as he didn't want to face it, he knew he would have to eventually.

As he reached his floor, the panic settled deep.

What if Lily never forgave him?

What if she had decided that his condition was too much a burden after all?

...What if she had already left?

His hands shook as he fished out his keys and threw open the door.

The scene that greeted him made him pause and it took a moment for him to steady himself when his body turned numb in disbelief.

The flat was cast in darkness save for the moonlight that spilled in through the open curtain from the sole window by the tiny kitchenette. Everything was perfectly still, the beds made and untouched. His eyes took in the vacated dining table and the open bathroom door.

Lily was gone.

He suddenly felt as though he had become hollow. It was an effort to enter because his legs were refusing to receive the signals his brain was trying to pass to them. When it finally became triumphant, Sirius woodenly shuffled in, sucking air in through his teeth that were still chattering from the cold outside. Tears stung his eyes but he angrily berated himself. It was his punishment – he'd brought this down upon himself. He should have expected something like this to happen.

Taking a morose look around, he began to feel like he was undergoing another one of his spells. Just as his chest began to tighten miserably, he caught sight of a bundle sitting just to the side of the doorway, unmoving and unnoticeable in the darkness.

His right hand fumbled to find the light switch, his heart swelling…hoping…

The lights were bright, but he found he didn't care. The feeling of relief filled him so fast that he became light-headed. He had to remind himself to breathe.

Lily sat curled into a ball on the floor, her head cradled in the arms that she had draped around her knees. In the darkness, she'd blended in almost perfectly, but now, her red hair stood out brightly against the dull-colored wall she leaned against.

Her body trembled when he reached out a hand to touch her, as if to see for himself if she were real or a figment of his hopeful imagination. He found himself whispering, as though afraid that she would disappear if he spoke too loudly. "You…you're still here…"

She finally lifted her head, to stare at him with wet green eyes. "I have no one else," she whispered back. Her face was splotched with tears.

If there was ever a time Sirius felt stupid, it was now.

Of course she wouldn't leave. Lily wasn't selfish that way. Her words struck a chord deep within him and somehow, even though the wounds of their fight were still fresh and raw, he knew they would be all right.

Uncertainly, Sirius knelt in front of her. "Me neither…"

She gave him a sad smile. "We're so pathetic…"

He managed a dry chuckle and he peered down at her asking, "Have you been crying this whole time?" If she had, he'd never forgive himself.

Slowly, she shook her head. "No," Lily said, and her lower lip trembled. "Just now, because you came back."

He felt tears of his own slide down his cheeks and he reached down to pull her into an embrace.

Yeah, she was right…they _were _pathetic, but he didn't care. All he cared about were the arms that linked around his neck and the warmth that was spreading through him at her presence.

"I'm home," he told her, reassuringly.

Because home is where the heart is, and his was with her.

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

**AN:** I want to tack on another task to my already-impossible mountain of work: writing an original novel. Think I can do it? That may mean slower updates. And here they are already coming out slowly but as I've said before, I will finish this, so fear not. I'd love to hear your comments on this chapter. You are, after all, the greatest driving force to inspiration.

Thanks for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


	26. Issues of the Heart

**GENUINE GEMINI by: P.P.V.V.**

_Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim Applies…_

* * *

**AN**: Thanks everyone for your warm support. And of course, for your reviews and understanding. I got this written right away because inspiration decided to crash-land at last. For your enjoyment, the next chapter!

* * *

_Previously: _

_Sirius found himself whispering, as though afraid that she would disappear if he spoke too loudly. "You…you're still here…" _

_ Lily lifted her head from her arms, to stare at him with wet green eyes. "I have no one else," she whispered back. Her face was splotched with tears. _

_ Uncertainly, Sirius knelt in front of her. "Me neither…" _

_ She gave him a sad smile. "We're so pathetic…" _

_He managed a dry chuckle and he peered down at her asking, "Have you been crying this whole time?" If she had, he'd never forgive himself. _

_ Slowly, she shook her head. "No," Lily said, and her lower lip trembled. "Just now, because you came back." _

_ He felt tears of his own slide down his cheeks and he reached down to pull her into an embrace. _

_ "I'm home," he told her, reassuringly. _

_ Because home is where the heart is, and his was with her._

* * *

**Chapter 26**

**- Issues of the Heart -**

Showered, warmly dressed, and smelling of shampoo and body wash instead of stale beer and tobacco, Sirius plopped himself down at the table. The chair beneath him squeaked at the rough handling, but he didn't care as he proceeded to towel-dry his hair. He would have to cut it soon, he knew, but he wanted to keep it this way for as long as possible.

He glanced up when Lily placed a steaming mug of hot chocolate before him. She held one in her hands too, and she took the seat directly across from him, blowing on hers to keep it from burning her lips when she took a sip. "Thank you," he murmured, cupping the fingers of his right hand around the glass but making no move to drink it. Instead, he stared at the liquid within, trying to sort out his thoughts.

Both of them were wide awake despite the early hours of the morning. Even if they did go to bed, neither would have gotten any sleep so they came to a silent understanding that there was no way out of the predicament.

It was time to talk.

A long and somewhat uncomfortable silence hung between them and Sirius hated it. Unable to stand it any longer, he ventured to ask, "How did you find out about…about the arrangements I made?" He stumbled over his wording as he approached the topic.

Lily put down her mug, the foam from the hot chocolate leaving behind a smudge on the skin between her upper lip and nose. Reaching over for a tissue, she said, "Your father came by the other day. He told me about them." She wiped away the residue and said no more, but Sirius could tell that she wanted to.

"I meant to tell you," he mumbled, earnestly, trying to wrap his head around the idea of his father holding an intelligible conversation with her, around the idea that he had gone out of his way to this dump of a building. "I got distracted. To tell you the truth, I completely forgot about it." He brought his eyes up to meet hers. "I guess I was just waiting for the right time."

A flash of disappointment crossed her face, and he waited for her to get angry, but she merely raised her mug to take another drink. This time, when she put it down, no chocolate was left behind. "I was waiting, too…" she told him. "I was afraid of your reaction, so I didn't want to confront you about the Institution."

Again, the silence settled upon them as they tried to digest each other's words. They had always been honest with each other even though they'd no doubt been wary and hesitant to open up about their pasts. This time around, however, the withholding of information from each other was almost deceitful. It was in that doubt that something in their relationship changed. Somehow, it had morphed into something tense.

It was sad that they still could not find footing on the plateau of trust with one another.

The fairytale had finally come to an end. Reality, it seemed, was far crueler than they could have ever imagined.

Sirius blinked when Lily told him, "I wanted to understand your revulsion so I visited the Institution to see it for myself."

"You…what?"

"I didn't stay very long," she continued, missing his incredulous look all together because she was eyeing her drink contemplatively. "I didn't see much, but…Dr. Cusatoni told me more about your condition." She slowly dragged her gaze up to his and by that time, he had schooled his expression into one that was unreadable. "Sirius, you can't blame the Institution for being unable to cure you."

Sirius fought down the indignation that rose up within him. How was it that she was able to sort through the mess to the real problem within mere moments? "I was sent there and held there against my own volition," he told her, stonily. "In the three years of that torture, you'd think that they would have found out _something_."

"And they did," she pushed her mug away, clearly frustrated. "But you were – and still are - too stubborn to realize it." She didn't flinch when he glared at her and before he could say something in his defense, she straightforwardly pointed out, "They can't help you if you don't want to help yourself."

"I got better," Sirius couldn't help his snap. "I didn't need their help."

"You got better because you made yourself believe that everything was fine," Lily said, with a shake of her head. "But everything isn't fine, Sirius. Running away from your problems won't help you to solve them."

He scoffed, "You're one to talk."

"We're not talking about me."

"That's rich, Lily."

She reached out a hand to touch his, knowing that another full-blown argument was about to take place. He seemed to visibly deflate at the contact and she gently said, "If it makes you feel better, I've agreed to stay with your father. Isn't that what you wanted?" She squeezed two of his fingers as she spoke. "If you believe in me, I can find the ability to believe in myself."

"I shouldn't force you to do anything you don't want to," Sirius said, with a shake of his head. "I was desperate. I couldn't think of anything else. If you're not comfortable…"

"I'm not, but I'm never going to learn if I don't take my first step," Lily told him, firmly. "I want to get better, Sirius. Do you think this will help me? That I'm ready for this?"

It was his turn to grasp her hand in both of his. "Of course!"

Her smile was heartwarming and he felt the guilt retract slightly when she nodded. "Then I'll try. If it doesn't work out," here she shrugged, "then I can be proud of the fact that I gave it a shot."

He gazed at her for a moment. "And here you say _I'm _courageous."

"You are!" Lily bit at her lower lip nervously and ducked her head. "You once told John that you would do anything for my safety…even if it meant going into admission again. I was selfish and thought you would do it if I asked, so I…well, you know." She sheepishly met his eyes. "I'm sorry I went ahead and filled out those papers without asking you first. It wasn't my place."

"You're right, it wasn't," he agreed. "And I'm sorry too, for making the living arrangements on your behalf. It wasn't my place either."

She tilted her head a little. "So…what now?"

He let out a sigh and withdrew his hands so that he could run them through his still-wet hair. "You've made your decision. I still need to make mine."

"Well…is there another option other than the Institute?"

"I don't know. Durmstrang is noted for having the best psycho-analysts in the country." He took a swallow of his own hot chocolate and burned his tongue in the process. "I'm scared," he confided to her. "Who wants a history of being associated with a mental hospital?"

"If you're worried about what I'll think, then don't be. If this place will help you, then I'm all for it. There's nothing wrong with wanting to get better, is there?"

A tiny, wistful smile touched his lips. "How is it that you can make things seem so simple?"

Lily didn't answer, choosing instead to finish off her drink. She watched as Sirius seemed to slump back in his chair. After a while, he picked up his towel and began to absently rub at his hair again. The action was so beautiful that she almost forgot to swallow.

He abruptly stopped, and the sudden stilling of his brusque movements caught her full attention. The towel, draped over his head, shadowed his face so that she could not see his expression. "I don't want to go back there…"

Lily gripped her cup, feeling a tremor run through her at the avid fear in his voice. What was he so terrified of? "Why not?" she asked, instead.

Sirius seemed to hesitate and he looked up to her. For courage, maybe? To see her reaction? To plead for understanding? She desperately wanted to know so that she could find a way to help him. He mumbled, "I don't want to remember…"

Dr. Cusatoni's words echoed in her mind. _It __means that he is trying to suppress memories that are resurfacing and trying to hold onto the stasis that his mind created to protect himself. _

He wasn't ready.

If he was afraid to reveal his skeletons to others, he was even more afraid to reveal them to himself. She loosened her hold on her mug and left it on the table as she got to her feet. Coming around, she stood before him. "Oh, Sirius," she sighed, her fingers snaking around his neck and pulling his head toward her. He didn't put up a resistance to her hug, letting his forehead connect with her stomach. The towel fell to the floor, but neither of them made a move to retrieve it.

She combed her fingers through his damp, messy locks, allowing him to expose just how frightened he really was. A tiny spark of pride welled in her at the thought that he would lower his guard just for her and reveal his true feelings to no one else. "Surely…surely they're not all bad," she spoke her thoughts aloud, referring to his memories. "When it becomes too much, just focus on those good parts."

His response was to circle his arms around her waist and turn his head so that his cheek was now flat against her tummy.

The motion of her hands running through his hair, massaging his scalp made him feel lethargic. The smell of her was almost intoxicating and he pulled her closer. "I don't want to lose you…" he whispered into her shirt, tiredly. "If I go back to the Center, I'm afraid I'll never see you again…"

"I'll visit you," she told him. "And according to the papers, if the Healers think you are stable, you can go home for periods of time." She continued her caress, and he closed his eyes, wishing she wouldn't stop. "The sooner you get better, the sooner you can come back. I'll always be waiting."

His hands fisted themselves loosely on the back of her shirt as he pondered her words. He had to face his fears and face his past.

Face his memories.

_Surely…_

_ Surely they're not all that bad…_

**0-0-0-0-0**

Sirius leaned against the wooden railing, lifting his face so that the heat of the sun's rays could beat against it. Despite the hot summer season, a cool, refreshing breeze blew in enough to keep him from becoming too uncomfortable.

There was a sharp smell to the air, and the ring of insects buzzing; a tell-tale sign of summer. Overhead, a few birds circled the field lazily and he squinted up at them, using his left hand to create a sort of shade over his eyes.

The school year had finally ended and everyone was out celebrating in some form or another. The twins kept to themselves, choosing instead to spend the first few weeks at their cottage home in the suburban area. They were excited because not only was summer the season for sleeping in, it was also the season for trial runs and races.

Sirius' moment of peace was cut short when James clambered atop the railing. He threw a challenging smirk over his shoulder before he proceeded to hold his arms up to either side for balance. Amused, Sirius merely shook his head and watched as his friend began to pick his way across the crude fence slowly, as one would walk across a tightrope. Clearly he had a taste for danger because the fence stood a good six feet or so above the ground and was not exactly balanced, nor was it exactly proportional the whole way around. He'd even go so far as to bet that the wood in certain places was already hollow and rotten through. Usually, he wouldn't be so apprehensive, but the thought of breaking his leg over something so stupid was not really appealing. If James wanted to, then he could go right ahead.

If danger were a tangible thing, Sirius was certain James would laugh in its face.

Reaching the end of the fence quarter successfully, James turned on the ball of his foot to inch his way back. He had a concentrated look on his face as he stared down to make sure that he wouldn't fall. He placed his lower lip between his teeth and his body bent from side to side slightly as he attempted to correct his posture.

"James Harrison Potter, you get down from there this instant!"

The sudden snap made James nearly jump out of his skin. His arms windmilled in vain as he fought to keep from falling, but he wasn't successful. He opted instead, to hop down from the ledge, landing hard on his feet.

Sirius let out a peal of laughter, his voice causing some of the ducks in the pond just beyond the fence to flutter around. Impishly, James grinned back at him before facing the disapproving look of Lucretia.

"Sorry, Mother…"

"Don't you dare pull a stunt like that again!" She warned, and her voice was full of the promise of retribution if he did, that even Sirius had to wince. Their mother could be quite scary when she chose to be. "You'll send me to my grave earlier!"

Sirius bit back another chuckle when she rounded on him. "And _you_! Stop encouraging him like that! I know how adventurous you boys can get, but if he ends up with a broken neck - "

Sirius turned around so that his back leaned against the railing instead, and he propped his elbows up onto it. "Relax, Mother," he said. "James won't do it again. He promises." And at that, James nodded vigorously, even going so far as to sketch a cross over his heart like they used to when they were younger.

The action made Lucretia's lips twitch slightly as she fought off a smile. James was always good at weaseling his way out of trouble using his charm. Instead, she wagged a paint brush at him, threateningly. "You had better not, young man."

As she proceeded to set up her easel, James sauntered back to Sirius, who, so accustomed to getting scolded on James' behalf, just rolled his eyes. "She's feeling much better today," James noted, cheerfully as he bent over to let his backpack slip off his shoulders.

"Not the best way to check on her health, mate," Sirius quipped, good-naturedly.

James laughed, running his hands through the untamable mop of his that he called hair. It was only getting messier as he let it grow longer, but no amount of arguing could get him to cut it. To say that it drove their parents mad was an understatement. Sirius thought it looked rather good and he toyed with the thought of letting his own hair grow out too. "You just didn't have the guts," James taunted.

"I'd rather give up riding my motorcycle than have to face her wrath," Sirius told him, truthfully. He had no doubts that despite his mother's declining health, she was still strong enough to pin them down over her knee if she had to. At their ages, just the thought of that kind of punishment was mortifying.

James seemed to pale a little before finally relenting with a shrug. "Guess you're right," he allowed, sticking his hands into the pockets of his blazer. "But Mother seems more lively lately. Do you suppose the treatments are working?"

"Better than last time," Sirius said, stealing a glance over at their mother, who, finished setting up her easel, was now mixing paint. He'd inherited most of his looks from her, although at the current moment, one would not be able to tell because of the way she had become so frail. Everything about her was limp - from the hair that had just begun to fill out again, to her every movement. Still, he thought she was beautiful, even in sickness.

Just like him, she had dark waving hair and blue-gray eyes; eyes that managed to assess and catch every detail. He guessed that was why she was so talented at art, and he watched as she began to dot the canvas in front of her, experimentally.

He was pleased to note that her face looked rosier and her movements more certain, today. He wanted her to stay that way: seeing her pale, bedridden and sluggish was frightening.

He knew Lucretia didn't want them to see her struggling. She tried to do her best to make everything seem like normal, but both boys knew it was a losing battle.

Leukemia was a heartless adversary.

While they didn't want her to push herself too hard, they desperately wanted to preserve the image of the mother they knew so well.

James glanced at her too, and Sirius could see the heartache in his friend's eyes. He'd already lost one mother and it had positively crushed him. To lose another…well, Sirius was certain that James wouldn't be able to stand it.

To steer them away from depressing thoughts, Sirius cleared his throat. "She just needs to keep doing things she loves. If she concentrates on being sick, then she'll never get better no matter how much treatment she undergoes."

James pursed his lips, clearly at conflict with his thoughts before latching onto Sirius' attempt at a lighter subject. He tugged his blazer on a bit tighter and straightened his tie. "Look sharp, then, Padfoot! She's about to use us as her subjects this time. We can't have her love of painting ruined by your scruffy looks."

Sirius scowled. He hated that name! It had been a nickname James had dubbed him when they had been children because he'd been better at doing things stealthily. In turn, Sirius gave James the nickname "Prongs" because he blundered and tangled himself into messes that he was unable to get out of on his own.

Reaching out an arm, he grabbed James around the collar and shoved him down. "Let's sharpen you, first!" he cried. That led them to start a scuffle where they tried to best each other in a grappling match, which Lucretia had to promptly disband.

"Boys, don't get your uniforms dirty!" she called. "I don't like painting grass stains!"

The scolding was so utterly ridiculous that both of them burst out laughing.

Lucretia shook her head, a smile on her lips. "Oh, my sons. Where did you get your bones of mischief?"

"Face it, Mother," Sirius chuckled, "you wouldn't have it any other way."

"As much as I hate to admit it," she said, with a nod, "life would get very boring without the two of you in it."

James grinned. "I could make it more interesting than Sirius, Mother."

Aghast, his brother rose to the bait. "Could not!"

That started off a contest to see who could come up with better pranks. Some of the things suggested were so outrageous that it soon had the two of them laughing once again, their voices echoing through the garden. Once in a while, they would get Lucretia to laugh, too.

And so, as the afternoon wore on, she managed to capture that moment; that snapshot in time, forever. She bottled up their carefree happiness with paint, their smiles on paper, their laughter on canvas.

Afterwards, much to the embarrassment of the twins, she had it framed and hung in the Art Museum where, she claimed, it would make others happy just to see it.

All the surrounding art pieces had titles given to them, so Sirius asked, "What are you going to name it, Mother?" James stood next to him, silently scrutinizing her work. His fingers idly played with the pendant that Sirius had given him years ago, his dark eyes somber behind his glasses.

Lucretia caught him doing the action and nodded at Sirius. "I have one in mind…but I think I'll change it."

Once again, she had outdone herself. Every detail had been captured almost perfectly. Neither boys could criticize it because it was her talent at its finest.

It was a memory imprinted.

"I'll call it _Genuine Gemini_," she announced, proudly.

James bit back a laugh, dropping his pendant. "It sounds…"

"It's perfect!" Sirius praised, with a nod, before James could dash that glowing satisfaction on his mother's face. She looked as though there were no sickness ravaging her body at the moment. "Your next painting will have to have really good subjects in order to top this one."

But she never painted again.

It was her last creation, and her greatest work.

* * *

**Traces of tears are easy to wipe away**

**Wiping traces of memories leave stains behind**

* * *

Sirius opened his eyes and blinked blearily at the ceiling. To his surprise, a tear rolled across the bridge of his nose and down his cheek before staining his pillow. Two more joined it, and he brought a hand up to swipe away the ones that were just beginning to form.

He belatedly thought to check his breathing and was glad to see it was steady, albeit a bit shaky.

He couldn't remember a time when he'd woken up crying before.

According to the alarm clock next to Lily's bed, it was nearing six-thirty in the morning which meant that he had managed to get a little sleep after all. He lifted his head slightly to see that Lily had also been able to get some rest. She was breathing deeply, curled up in her own bed, thankfully oblivious to his sorrow.

He braced himself for the physical pain that usually accompanied his memories, for his breath to leave as it always did, but was surprised when nothing happened. Instead, overwhelming sadness crushed at him, and he brought his knees to his chest as if in an effort to squash it down. The memory of his mother alive made his eyes sting. He'd thought that he'd accepted her death but apparently, he still missed her fiercely. This time, he didn't bother to wipe away the tears.

A dim part of his mind was aware of the fact that he had remembered something yet again. He was beyond excited to see that he had not passed out because of it, either. Tentatively, he toyed with the memory of James' laughter, too afraid to touch on anything more than that.

That sadness was too much to bear.

Fisting his hands over his heart, in both grief and joy, he allowed himself to cry.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Tonks looked up as Bellatrix literally crashed into the class. If it weren't for the way the action was so uncharacteristic, she would have been annoyed. She and Remus had been having a decent conversation before the sudden interruption.

Just about everyone in the room looked up as Bellatrix stood in the doorway, trying to catch her breath. Her usually impeccable hair was windswept and with the way her chest heaved, it was obvious she had been running. Her pale face and wide eyes, however, gave no indication as to why.

For some reason, a nervous jolt shot its way through Tonks. Involuntarily, she glanced at Remus to gage his reaction and was disappointed to see that he had jumped to his feet, worry etched onto his face.

"Bellatrix?" His voice seemed to snatch the attention of the class and all heads turned to regard him.

Tonks had to fight to keep her jaw from slamming onto the surface of her desk.

…Had he just called her by her first name?

Apparently, Remus was oblivious to that fact, and to the way the others seemed to have honed in on the slip as well. "What's wrong?" he demanded.

"It's terrible!" Bellatrix cried. "Sirius just dropped out of school!"

Her news set off a commotion that could probably be heard halfway down the hall, their shock at Remus' endearment vanishing in the light of this juicy tidbit. Almost all the girls mimicked Remus' action of jumping out of their seats. The boys seemed just as curious because they began shouting out their questions. Their voices bounced off of each other, sounding like paparazzi. For the first time ever, it seemed as though Bellatrix was floundering, not knowing who to answer first.

Tonks' head started to hurt with the way she was swiveling it back and forth between all the conversations happening at once. Finally, she screeched, "Would everybody just shut _up_?"

And like a tap that was turned off, the uproar stopped.

Taking advantage of the near-silence, Remus blankly asked, "Sirius dropped out of school? Why would he do that?"

"Dumbledore…didn't say."

Remus blinked, clearly trying to come up with a valid reason for the suddenness. Sirius had been perfectly normal at school yesterday. He hadn't let on any indication that he was having difficulty or that he was planning on quitting.

Unless something had happened to Lily again…

He wanted to ask more questions but he didn't want everyone to hear what he was going to say. Instead, he moved forward, his long legs crossing the room toward her. Taking her by the elbow, he said, "We need to talk."

But Bellatrix slipped her arm out of his grasp. "I can't," she whispered, traces of her ragged breathing still present. "I was ordered to empty Evans' locker and get all her things. She's not coming back to this school either."

If that was the case, Remus feared the worse. Maybe the two were going into hiding after all.

"What about Sirius' stuff?"

"He's coming back here to get it at some point," Bellatrix reported.

Remus stepped back and mulled it over. He remembered Sirius saying that Lily might need to transfer. Maybe he was taking things to the extreme. Maybe Sirius was also transferring. He rubbed his chin and asked, "Do you need any help?"

"I could use it," Bellatrix said, with a weary nod. "I've gotta deliver everything to her." There were text books, notebooks and every art project imaginable. If Remus would help, she wouldn't have to carry all those easels on her own.

Remus touched her arm briefly before moving past her. "I'll go bring my car around, then. I'll meet you in the hallway."

The class began to murmur the moment the two exited the class. Professor McGonogall came in, a worried frown causing her forehead to crease. She took one glance at Remus and Bellatrix's retreating figures and to the surprise of all, did not call them back. Instead, she ordered everyone else into their seats.

Reluctantly, they did as they were told, taking out their texts and books as she began the lecture. If she noticed that no one was really reading along or making any notes, she did not scold them. She didn't even stop anyone from whispering behind their books to one another, probably realizing that Sirius' sudden decision was of more appeal than Shakespeare's work.

Honestly…that guy could wreak so much havoc in the classroom without having to be present.

By the time Remus and Bellatrix came back to class, it was ending and Professor McGonogall was giving her usual sermon about studying diligently. "Finals will be upon us sooner than you think," she was announcing. "If you start reviewing now, it will help you to remember facts better than cramming it all into your minds the day before." And here, she gave a pointed look at Jared. If Sirius were in class, it would no doubt be aimed at him, too, but this time around, Jared was the only one who sheepishly ducked his head.

She finally acknowledged Bellatrix and Remus, telling them to stay after class for a moment as everyone else was dismissed. As they filed out, the topic was (unsurprisingly) about Sirius.

"I trust you gathered everything, then?" she asked them, cutting straight to the point when they came to stand before her. It startled the two that she knew of the news already. It meant that Sirius had already informed the teachers in advance.

This bit of knowledge made Remus angry. How could he be the last to know? He had to remember to answer the Professor's question, but he couldn't find the voice to do so. He was grateful when Bellatrix nodded and he felt her take his hand.

The Professor seemed to relax a little, but that worried frown still did not leave. Even if Sirius was a notorious trouble maker, she had grown fond of him. To hear that he had quit school all together was just upsetting. And here he had been making remarkable progress. What on earth possessed him to throw away his future? "Good," she said, with a curt nod of her own. "If you need some help, I can inform Argus - "

"-We'll be fine," Remus interrupted. He hated Filch and the way he always had something to say. He didn't need to hear all the sarcastic crap that would spout from the greasy git's mouth. "We should go, Professor. My car is gonna be ticketed if I leave it parked outside the main entrance for very long."

McGonogall gathered her books and stepped away. "If you see Mr. Black, give him my regards."

Remus grit his teeth against swearing aloud, and he felt Bellatrix squeeze the hand that she still had a hold of, giving it a squeeze when it clenched. "Remus…"

"That coward," he growled, once McGonogall was out of earshot. "He better have a good explanation for this."

Bellatrix raised her other arm to hook through his in a comforting gesture. "You know how Sirius is. He's impulsive and independent. He always does his own thing. No one can pin him down long enough."

"Except for Evans," Remus pointed out.

"Except for Evans," Bellatrix agreed, quietly.

_Lily must have the patience of a saint_, thought Remus as he began to lead Bellatrix out of the class once more. He decided that when he saw Sirius, he'd beat some sense into him. If that didn't work, then at least he'd still have landed blows.

It turned out that they did not have to wait until they reached Sirius' apartment, because they met him as he was making his way up the main steps of the school. His hair was pulled back to reveal pink cheeks. His hands were jammed into pockets of a jacket that was not designed for the winter weather.

Remus mentally tacked _reckless_ onto the list that described Sirius before coming to a halt.

All three of them stood frozen on the stairs.

It was almost like a scene from a movie as they stared at each other. If there was something to be said about the atmosphere, it could be described as tense. It was in the way they stood, in the way they met each other's gazes uncertainly and definitely in the way they could not come up with anything to say.

Finally, Sirius broke the silence. "I guess that means you already know."

Remus actually snarled. "You son of a bitch. You have the audacity…"

"It wasn't my decision," Sirius cut him off with a wave of his hand.

"Bullshit."

"Not in front of the lady. And I told you to quit using large words on me, Remus."

Bellatrix leaned forward, making sure to keep her arm linked through Remus' just in case he decided to do something drastic. "Sirius…why didn't you tell us?"

He gave them a guarded answer. "It was a last minute decision."

"That's bullshit too," Remus bit.

Sirius sighed. "It's complicated and it's not something I want to discuss out here." He shifted in his spot, trying to keep his blood flow circulating. When neither of them budged, he relented and said, "Look, I'm sorry. I promise I'll explain everything. Happy?"

Remus, usually one to keep a tight rein on his anger, was boiling. He hated how Sirius parroted those words. He didn't want lip service. He thought Sirius respected him more than that. "You'd better, Sirius, because I don't appreciate being kept in the dark. I don't appreciate having to pick up after you, either."

Sirius flinched at the accusations. "I know. And I really am sorry."

The way he did not move to defend himself and the sincere apology surprised Remus enough to alert him that something was definitely wrong.

"I've gotta get my stuff and speak with Dumbledore," Sirius hedged, moving up two more steps. "I appreciate your help, you guys."

"You're lucky," Remus breathed, and felt Bellatrix tug at him sharply for the remark.

"How about we wait for you here and give you a lift?" Bellatrix cut in, ignoring the glare she received from her partner. "That way, you have time to tell us everything on the way."

Sirius shot them a small, haunted smile. "I'm afraid the story is longer than that." His eyes took on the same haunted quality, replacing the usual brooding in his dark gray swirls. "And I'm afraid it's not pretty either."

Remus let out a frustrated breath. "Aren't you jumping the gun too quickly, Sirius? You're dropping out of school, here. You've only got a few more months. Don't you want to graduate with everyone?"

"I can't," Sirius told them and before Remus could demand why, he said, "I wish I could. But...we're moving. Far away. It's been decided."

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

**AN:** Yikes. Well. That's where inspiration decided to stop. Let me know what your thoughts are through reviews please! I love them to bits and pieces. Progress on my original work has been very slow-going. My notes are everywhere, floating in the empty space of my head. Now, if I can just piece them all together… That aside, I hope to get the next chapter of this story written and posted much sooner than later. Until then,

Thanks for reading!

-P.P.V.V.


	27. The Difference

**GENUINE GEMINI by: P.P.V.V.**

_Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim applies…all original characters/ideas are mine to claim._

* * *

**AN:** You guys are so amazing that I can't begin to explain my gratefulness. I'd like to thank you guys for putting up with me and my over-active imagination. Bear with me again on this chapter, would you? Onward!

* * *

_Previously:_

_Bellatrix linked her arm through Remus' just in case he decided to do something drastic. "Sirius…why didn't you tell us?" _

_ He gave them a guarded answer. "It was a last minute decision."_

_ "That's bullshit," Remus bit. _

_ Sirius sighed. ""Look, I'm sorry. I promise I'll explain everything. Happy?" _

_ Remus didn't want lip service. He thought Sirius respected him more than that. "You'd better, Sirius, because I don't appreciate being kept in the dark. I don't appreciate having to pick up after you, either." _

_ Sirius flinched at the accusations. "I know. And I really am sorry." _

_ "How about we wait for you here and give you a lift?" Bellatrix cut in, ignoring the glare she received from her partner. "That way, you have time to tell us everything on the way." _

_ Sirius shot them a small, haunted smile. "I'm afraid the story is longer than that." His eyes took on the same haunted quality, replacing the usual brooding in his dark gray swirls. "And I'm afraid it's not pretty either." _

_ Remus let out a frustrated breath. "Aren't you jumping the gun too quickly, Sirius? You're dropping out of school, here. You've only got a few more months. Don't you want to graduate with everyone?"_

_ "I can't," Sirius told them and before Remus could demand why, he said, "I wish I could. But...we're moving. Far away. It's been decided."_

* * *

**WARNING, WARNING, WARNING** : This chapter contains scenes of explicit sexual detail. Reader's discretion is advised. Please continue if, and only if, you are mature enough. You have been warned.

* * *

**Chapter 27**

**- The Difference -**

The story had to be true.

Boxes were lined up against the wall, a few of them were labeled _**Fragile**_ and already taped shut. Others were still open, waiting for more to be placed within. The pull-out bed that Sirius had slept on was now gone, leaving the twin-sized bed to stand alone as the only piece of furniture that had gone untouched. The chairs had also been taken away, the table folded so that it lay a foot or so off the ground.

That was where the party was currently present, huddled around the tiny piece of wood, sitting on the floor.

Bellatrix fidgeted in her spot. Her legs had begun to cramp underneath her, folded as they were. Beside her, eyes round like saucers to the point where she could make out the whites around his irises, Remus stared. In a sort of smug way she was proud of the fact that she had taken the news more stoically than he did.

"Don't say anything," Sirius muttered, his lips thinning into a line of disapproval.

Remus protested, "But you're the son of -"

"-I told you." His hand this time came out to swipe downward, angrily. "It doesn't change anything!"

But that did not serve to relax Remus at all. If anything, it made him more rigid. He clenched his fists on his knees. "Why didn't you say something before?"

Sirius sighed, "It wouldn't have mattered."

For a moment, there was an awkward silence and then Remus conceded, "I guess you're right. I can't see you getting special treatment from anyone."

At last, Sirius' stony demeanor cracked a little in the form of a smirk.

As if on cue, everyone looked up as Lily swept in from the hallway with a tray of drinks – most probably sent from John - and set one before them each. The mugs were a set, dark green in color. The smell of hot chocolate rose to greet them and made their mouths water.

Unable to keep quiet any longer, Bellatrix leaned forward to snatch up a mug, more for something to do than for anything else. "Let me get this straight. You're going to live with your father again? But I thought you hated the man?"

Sirius' answer was immediate. "I do. I can't stand him. He can't stand me. But he's willing to protect Lily and that's all that matters."

Bellatrix did not miss the way Lily's face clouded at his words. She could care less about the way the girl felt. She was more surprised that Sirius was going out of his way for her. The familiar pang of jealousy hit her again, but she pushed it away. "When are you guys leaving?"

"Tomorrow," Sirius hedged.

"And you didn't think to tell us - " Remus began to snarl, but Sirius put his hands up defensively.

"- I said I was sorry."

Remus ignored the apology. "You were going to disappear without a word again? What kind of asshole are you?"

"A big one?"

"Fuck you!"

Lily flinched at the rage behind the words and she wondered if the argument would escalate, especially with the way Sirius' face flushed at Remus' insult. The two sat, glaring at each other until Sirius backed away, eyes flicking from his untouched drink to the disappointed glower being aimed his way.

"If it turned out for the worst, I wanted it to be a clean break."

"For the worst?" Bellatrix echoed, and she jerked when Remus slammed his hand on the table, angrily.

"That's what you said last time!"

Sirius' voice dipped dangerously. "I don't like it when people try to get up in my business." He was about to say more, but stopped when Lily inched closer to him, pressing her cheek against his shoulder without a word. He took a deep breath and seemed to visibly swallow his next words. His arm draped itself around Lily's shoulder, pulling her close.

"Wait," Bellatrix cut in, trying to ignore her wistfulness as she watched them. "Are we ever going to see you again?"

A look of surprise took over Sirius' features, then. He hadn't thought about that. If they wanted to keep their profiles low, then it was best that his friends didn't know where he was and what he was doing. At the same time, he felt a certain loathing at the thought that once again, his life was being run by someone else.

Lily responded for him, though. "We can't make that call right now."

The dark-haired woman turned her attention to the girl at last, both impressed and relieved to see that despite everything that had happened to her, she had not been defeated.

Such a long way from the girl she'd once bullied.

And what a vague response.

Well, it couldn't be helped with the way the two were being tracked down. They needed all the help they could get.

Remus sniggered, "Don't you worry, Belle. We'll see them again."

Sirius gave them both a single nod and murmured, "One day." His long fingers came out to grasp his mug too, and for a long moment, everyone nursed their drinks, mulling over the conversation and the plans ahead.

The Institution hadn't been mentioned. The school that Lily was going to transfer to hadn't been divulged either. It was safer that way, Sirius reasoned, and their two friends hadn't pushed the issue. Nothing of their pasts, except for Sirius' heritage had been brought to light – no spells, no incidents, no traumatic experiences.

It was strange how their lives had become so intertwined.

"Take care of Belle, will you?" Sirius told Remus. "She deserves to be happy."

Bellatrix looked startled at the sudden request.

"Don't you worry, I will," Remus promised.

Satisfied, Sirius rubbed a slow circle onto Lily's knee with the pad of his thumb. "Good." Directing his attention to Bellatrix, he gave her an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Lestrange."

Tears welled up in the beautiful woman's eyes and she ducked her head, too angry to respond.

After that, few words were exchanged and when Sirius showed them to the door, he caught Bellatrix up in a crushing embrace, a remnant, Lily supposed, of what their interaction used to be like in the past. It hit her then, that she had never asked Sirius about his relationship with her. Perhaps, she was afraid to know, and truth be told, she didn't want to witness the intimacy of that parting hug.

She chose instead to look away and tried not to listen to their conversation.

"I'll miss you, Sirius."

"Same, Lestrange."

"So, we're back to formalities then?"

"I'm afraid so. My girlfriend won't be happy if I get too comfortable with anyone else, if you know what I mean."

Tense silence.

"I still can't understand why you chose her over me."

"Neither can I. But love isn't something that I can control."

Lily's heart fluttered gently in her chest.

" I guess not. Don't forget me?"

"I couldn't, even if I tried."

Remus stepped in then, tugging Bellatrix away. "C'mon, you. They've got a lot to do, still. Sirius, touch base with us again, d' you hear?"

Sirius playfully gave him a salute, but the gesture was resigned and half-hearted. "Will do."

When the door finally closed, he turned to face Lily, who smiled encouragingly. It was always hard to say good bye.

**0-0-0-0-0-0**

Lily looked around at the near-empty apartment. According to Sirius, the rest of the heavy furniture would be left behind. Their other more personal belongings would be taken with them and the rest would either return to John or be given away.

Even though she'd spent such a short time there, it had become home and she was sad to leave it.

Her hand went out to touch the wall, memorizing the color of the eggshell white. There was a slight stain in the corner where Sirius' motorcycle had leaked oil and she hadn't been able to get it out. The vehicle had been taken away that morning, so the room seemed more spacious than normal. Her easel had been taken down and, with her paintings, was waiting to be shipped to their new destination.

That was precisely why she was anxious.

Where was she going to end up?

Sirius would not be with her in that new, foreign place.

The very thought made her stomach knot itself tightly and her head feel light.

No.

Best not to dwell on those things.

She pulled her hands away from the wall, to her beating heart as if in an effort to calm it down.

She began to get ready for bed, slipping into a borrowed pair of jogging pants and a loose t-shirt that belonged to Sirius because everything she owned – as little as it was - had been packed away.

The clothes faintly smelled of him and she breathed it in.

She couldn't forget.

The fear was coming on strong now, no matter how hard she tried to suppress it. Without Sirius, she'd fall apart. She selfishly considered asking him to forgo his treatment at the Institute all together just so that he could stay with her. He knew that he would agree to that in a heartbeat, but she also knew that he had to have the help.

He would not get better without it.

Still…

Memories of men advancing on her caused her heart to beat painfully.

Their laughter, their jeers, rang in her ears.

Their reaching hands made her skin crawl.

She shivered, biting her lip as she tried to shake the images from her mind. "Lily?"

She was betrayed into a jump and she whirled to face Sirius, her hair, still damp from her shower, slapping her face when she did so.

He had just come from the shower himself, dressed similarly to her in flannel pants and a fitted gray shirt. He regarded her with a worried look, head tilted slightly. "Are you okay?"

Lily realized belatedly that her arms were crossed over her chest protectively and that she had backed into the wall.

She hated that she flinched when he took a step toward her.

He stopped.

"Sweetheart. It's just me," Sirius said, quietly.

She stared at him, embarrassed, her arms feeling like lead. Instead of relaxing, she tensed further. "I…"

A flash of pain crossed Sirius' face and she saw him swallow several times.

"I-I'm sorry," she whispered, feeling pathetic, willing her arms to move but not having any luck.

Those words seemed to unfreeze him because he walked toward her resolutely, his eyes glinting angrily. "Don't be," he said, and she realized that the anger was not meant for her, but for those who had hurt her in the past. "Don't ever be sorry for what happened to you. It wasn't your fault."

Try as she might, Lily could not stop the tears from coming. "I'm scared," she confided in him. "What if - "

He cut her off placing his hands on the wall by her face, not daring to touch her. "No one will ever hurt you like that again." She sniffed and he leaned in closer, forcing her to look at him. Her green eyes were wide and wet, tears streaking her cheeks in little rivulets. "You'll be safe. I promise you."

"N-no…" she whimpered. "I hate myself…"

His hands moved to her shoulders and then slowly, gently, down her arms, grasping her wrists and tugging them down to rest by her sides. "No, don't say that. I told you, it isn't your fault."

"You don't understand…" she sobbed.

He searched her face, brow creasing in confusion. "What's wrong?"

"I hate myself for being afraid!" she cried. "And of you, of all people!"

That look of hurt was still in his eyes when he said, "It's okay. I understand that you're afraid and I know that these things take time…"

Lily shook her head and reached out to take a hold of his shirt in two fists. "I never want to be afraid of you!"

His heart ached at her distress. Taking her chin in his fingers, he tilted her face up to his. He was neither demanding, nor harsh, his actions careful as though any sudden movement would cause her to shatter.

His fingers brushed away her tears in feather-light touches. His lips pressed against hers.

Lily responded haltingly at first, as though testing herself as to whether or not she was ready for any contact but when he maintained his leisurely manner, she relaxed slightly and matched his lips kiss for kiss.

Slowly, her defenses weakened, crumbling under a wave of heat that swept through her, the flames licking up and past the wall of ice that tried to lodge itself in her chest like it usually did.

Sirius continued to kiss her, unhurriedly, fingers dancing over her cheeks, through her hair, sliding down her neck. His tongue lazily swept through her mouth, over her teeth and lips before touching hers and deepening the kiss.

The fire coursed through her, making her legs tremble. His touch, no less gentle, became bolder. His lips left hers to trace her jaw line, her neck, her collarbone…

She felt his hands slide down her arms, over the sides of her body and stop at her waist to pull her closer. Her head began to feel light, and she clung to him as if he were a lifeline that was keeping her from drowning.

Was it possible to love someone this much?

To love someone even more?

Without pausing his kisses, Sirius fingered the hem to her shirt.

Her breath caught and she tensed. Almost immediately, Sirius stopped. "W-wait…" she gasped. "I…"

She met his gaze, and her chest squeezed at the intensity behind it. "I can't…" "Shh. Don't say anything more," he commanded. "Those men forced you to do something you didn't like. They made you do things you didn't want to. I'm not those men, Lily. I won't hurt you. I won't do anything you aren't comfortable with."

"I know…"

He let go of her shirt, to prove his point.

No, that wasn't it. Frustrated, she stuttered out, "No. I-I mean…I…I want to…but I'm not…someone like me…"

Her words hung in the air, unfinished. She didn't have to complete her sentence because Sirius understood it loud and clear.

She thought she was unworthy.

Unclean.

He sighed her name, smiling at her uncertainty. "You are perfect. No matter what those men have done, that won't change anything." He whispered, "I wish I could take away your pain. I want to erase every bad thing that happened to you." He traced the scars of her most recent wounds in an absent way, leaving behind goosebumps. "If you'll let me, I want you to remember a good experience."

A good experience.

Tears blurred her vision again.

No one had ever thought of giving her that. It had always been about taking what they wanted. His words sent another jolt of heat through her fear-frozen body. In response, she leaned up to kiss him, too overwhelmed to speak past the lump in her throat.

This time, when he grasped her shirt, she made no move to stop him. He hesitated for a moment, waiting for her consent before lifting it clear from her.

She knew the routine. It had been done to her so many times that she'd lost count, yet strangely, as his hands roamed her body and removed her clothing in a reverent manner, she felt as though this was happening to her for the first time.

Half-floating on a cloud of desire and nervousness, she reached for his shirt, sliding her hands up and over the planes of his well-toned stomach and chest. His skin, she noted, was hot to the touch, flushed – an indication that he was just as nervous and excited.

Squeaking when he suddenly pulled back and swept her around and off her feet, Lily found herself caught up in his arms. Slowly, he lay her on the bed where his lips continued their worship of her.

He allowed her to take off his shirt, bending forward slightly to make it easier. In the dim lighting, Lily was able to make out a long scar that crossed his chest in a wicked curve. It made her gasp in surprise and he clucked his tongue at her, playfully. "No, no. Tonight, it's not about me. It's about you. I will show you the difference between rape, sex and making love."

* * *

**Progress is not about where you stand**

**It's about what direction you are moving in**

* * *

He said her name, his breath against her skin causing her to shiver, not in disgust, but in pleasure.

Gods above, what was he _doing _to her?

It was as though every nerve in her body was tingling. His hands were deft and experienced, touching her in just the right places, driving whimpers from her mouth.

He kneaded her breasts while his tongue explored every inch of her in sight.

The heat was becoming almost unbearable now and she writhed underneath him when his practiced fingers brought her to a peak for the third time in a row.

"Sirius…" she pleaded, breathlessly, when the stars blinked out of her line of sight. She was starting to believe that her brain would turn to mush at this rate.

His chuckle was low and husky. "Patience, sweetheart."

She moaned as his fingers began to move inside her again.

She'd been touched and fondled for years, but nothing compared to this. When he'd said it was about her, he'd meant it. She'd never felt so safe, so willing, so free.

She cried out when she climaxed again. This time, when she wept his name, he obliged her, helping himself to another heated kiss before joining his body to hers.

They moved as one, stone and clay, dancing over waves that pushed and pulled and crashed. Gentleness mixed with strength as they took everything from each other and gave everything they had.

Cradled in the safety of his possession, Lily basked in the joy that he brought her.

This…

This was the power of love.

**0-0-0-0-0 **

Despite how spacious the area was, the feeling of being trapped and suffocated was prevalent. It was probably how an ant must feel when freed from the confines of its tunnels under the earth.

Their footsteps echoed back toward them making it seem as though there were other people present. Lily constantly found herself looking backward just to check. Time and again, Sirius would squeeze her hand in a reassuring manner and it served to calm the butterflies in her stomach.

They walked past numerous amounts of rooms, each of them tastefully furnished and decorated. She was willing to bet that half of them had never hosted a visitor for more than the space of an hour. She couldn't help but peer into them curiously, the artworks on display a very tempting beckon. They didn't stop however much she wanted to because Sirius maneuvered them through the hallways at a brisk and steady pace.

He'd grown silent and contemplative ever since setting foot in the mansion. Lily pinned it down to the fact that he was resentful of the fact that he had to be here in the first place.

She decided to try and break the silence, stepping carefully around a hand-crafted vase that stood almost as high as the ceiling. It was beautifully made with blue and gold patterns that swirled and danced over the clay. "This place is huge...I'm afraid I'm going to get lost…"

Sirius smiled slightly. "You won't have to wander far from the wing that they assign you," he assured her. "And there are always people who will be willing to help you."

"I hope they're not expecting to wait on me hand and foot," she remarked. "I wouldn't be able to bear being smothered."

"The novelty of being pampered does wear off quickly," he agreed. "If it were only an option, I wish you never had to come here."

She nudged him with her elbow. "It's not that bad. It's actually very beautiful. I feel like I'm in some sort of dream. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that you're not everything you seem to be."

Instead of returning the banter, his expression turned glum. "A delinquent?"

"Oh, Sirius. You know I didn't mean it like that."

Again, he flashed her that slight smile and she felt her heart ache at the sadness behind it.

What more did he have to go through?

She paused in her steps and reached up to peck his cheek.

He seemed surprised by the action but this time, his smile was genuine. "Not everything I seem to be, huh?" he asked, picking up on her earlier comment. "If you expect me to sing and dance for you, you're going to be disappointed."

She giggled. "Actually…"

"Aw, c'mon, Lily!" He threw open the doors to yet another room that was facing what looked like another wing – the building never seemed to end. This room was draped in heavy tan curtains that nicely complimented the burgundy leather seats that were set up. "_Would_ you?"

He groaned in response and it caused her to giggle. Sirius was swept away by her mirth and the two of them ended up in a fit of laughter. It felt good, easing the edge of anxiety that had been looming over the both of them all day. It had been the hardest thing in the world to leave that small apartment behind. John had made them promise to visit him when they had the chance.

A voice interrupted them, cutting their brief moment of amusement in two. "Well, I'm glad you seem to be enjoying yourselves."

In the doorway, stood Orion, watching their exchange with a pleased expression.

Sirius' smile faded at seeing him. Lily felt hers falter, too, the butterflies returning with a vengeance to the point of making her feel ill to the stomach. She brought an arm up to hug her middle in an effort to quell her sudden nausea.

To her greatest surprise, she saw Sirius take a few steps back, uncertainly. "Father."

"Sirius," his father responded, just as formally, "it's good to see you again."

His son did not return the sentiment. He set his jaw and moved slightly so that he was right next to Lily. If Orion was disappointed or upset by that, he made no indication of it. Instead, he nodded toward her. "Miss Evans. I'm glad to see you again, as well."

Unsure how to answer, Lily murmured, "Mr. Black," with a dip of her head in acknowledgement. He didn't seem to be expecting her to shake hands with him this time around, but maybe it was because of the fact that Sirius was standing defensively beside her, bristling.

Instead, the man entered the room fully, hands clasped behind his back, moving purposefully toward the windows before turning to face them again. "I've had your things brought up to your rooms. You'll be brought there after dinner. Don't worry about setting anything up. Everything you could possibly need will be here at your disposal."

Wanting desperately to break the uneasy atmosphere, Lily said, "Thank you, sir, for your hospitality…"

Sirius tightly told her, "Hospitality? It's his responsibility." He addressed his father then. "You and I made a deal. That's the _only_ reason we're here." His glare made even Lily shiver.

His father seemed to tense before he nodded. "Yes, we made a deal. And I expect you to hold your end of it. Remember - "

"- I remember it, all right," Sirius growled. "And I've already agreed to it." He took Lily's arm, pulling her around and began to march her out of the room. "If you'll excuse us."

He didn't wait for his father to answer, merely propelled them away as fast as possible. Lily almost tripped in her effort to keep up with him. She didn't want to fan the flame of his anger so she tried to think of a way to ask him questions without him losing his temper. Finally, she dug her feet into the carpet and tugged him to a stop. "Wait. Sirius." His long hair whipped around when he turned back. "Don't you think it's impolite walking out on him like that?"

Apparently not, with the way he raised his eyebrow incredulously. "Are you kidding me?"

She sighed. "Won't you at least try to get along with him?"

His eyes clouded at her request. "If by try to get along you mean let him run my life again, then forget it. I've been there and I didn't like the experience one bit."

"He was trying to do what was best for you!" she insisted, tugging him again when he tried to resume their pace.

"What kind of father sends his child to a mental institute?" Sirius' voice had taken a dangerous edge and inwardly, Lily cringed. She hated it when they fought. She knew that his anger wasn't directed at her, but it was still enough to make her defensive.

"He must have been terrified," she told him. "He wanted to help you but didn't know how."

He looked as though she had betrayed him. "I can't believe you're on his side."

She reached out to take his hand before he could turn away from her. He really was like a wounded animal that didn't trust someone and bared its fangs. "Sirius, I don't want to argue," she pleaded. "I just…I just want to understand you."

His voice was cold, his blue-gray eyes sweeping down the hallway as if to make sure there was nobody else present. "What else is there to understand? I hate him. I'll never forgive him for what he did."

With that, he stuffed his hands into his pockets and strode forward again. Lily trailed him, thoughts spinning. This was turning out to be disastrous. She'd known that Sirius didn't have a good relationship with his father, but she hadn't realized it had been to this extent.

How could she possibly convince him that his father hadn't sent him to the Institute in malice?

It would take more than a small talk and it most definitely would not happen any time soon.

When Orion had said Sirius was stubborn, he hit the nail on the head.

Deep in her heart, she knew that Sirius did not want his relationship with his father to stay this way. He was the only family he had left, after all. It would take time to heal all wounds.

They wound their way through the mansion and if there was anybody present, they did not make themselves known. Maybe it was because of the way Sirius seemed to be in a bad mood. Or maybe it was on Orion's strict orders. Whatever the case, Lily was glad for it because she wanted to talk to him in private.

A few times, Sirius would pause in his steps as though he'd forgotten what he was doing. When they came to a stop outside of a door, he spoke. "Lily…no matter what, don't agree to any of his terms and conditions, understand?"

"But…"

"No. You've already traded away more than you should have because there was no other way." His voice dropped into a pained whisper. "We both have."

She squinted in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"My father is a businessman. Everything to him is a transaction of sorts. If you think he's doing this for your benefit or mine, you're sorely mistaken."

She really wished he would stop talking like that. "He told me - "

"-Don't believe everything he tells you," Sirius said, with a shake of his head. He put his hands to her shoulders. "Any agreements he makes is only to help himself, not others. Why do you think he's so successful? The jerk's just really good at the games he plays."

The very first conversation that she'd had with Orion flashed through her mind again on fast-forward. She'd asked the man what he'd asked Sirius to give up in exchange for her protection. Come to think of it…he hadn't answered the question.

She asked it now.

"Sirius, what was your deal? The deal your father made with you?" her heart began to speed up in dread. "What did you have to give up on my behalf?"

She felt her stomach twist when he looked down. "In order to have you protected, I promised him that I would learn how to take on his company." He gave her a bright smile that was so fake that she had the sudden urge to slap him. "Don't worry, love. If that's what it takes, I'll do it." He never met her eyes when he spoke.

No.

There was more to it than that, she could feel it.

Before he could open the door, she put her hand over the doorknob. "What else?" she demanded. "Sirius…what else?"

He froze and did not respond. When she repeated the question one more time, he finally turned tear-filled eyes to her. "I promised to stop riding. I gave up my motorcycle."

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

**AN:** I have to say, I'm feeling very accomplished. I haven't updated this story this much before in its entire making. Here's to hoping that I continue to have the inspiration (and the time) for weekly updates! You play a big role in giving me one of those, so please, leave me your thoughts once again and fuel the fire of imagination!

Thanks for reading,


	28. Direct Approaches

**GENUINE GEMINI by: P.P.V.V.**

_Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim applies...all original characters/ideas are mine to claim._

* * *

**AN**: Hi everyone! This week has been rather hectic for me but I managed to finish a chapter. Personally, I enjoyed writing it so I hope you enjoy reading it. We're skipping forward in time now, here, so this is a heads up. Here's to hoping it's not too confusing.

Onward.

* * *

_Previously: _

"_Sirius, what was your deal? The deal your father made with you?" Lily's heart began to speed up in dread. "What did you have to give up on my behalf?" _

_ She felt her stomach twist when he looked down at her. "In order to have you protected, I promised him that I would learn how to take on his company." He gave her a bright smile that was so fake that she had the sudden urge to slap him. "Don't worry, love. If that's what it takes, I'll do it." He never met her eyes when he spoke. _

_ No._

_ There was more to it than that, she could feel it. _

_ Before he could open the door, she put her hand over the doorknob. "What else?" she demanded. "Sirius…what else?" _

_ He froze and did not respond. When she repeated the question one more time, he finally turned tear-filled eyes to her. "I promised to stop riding. I gave up my motorcycle."_

* * *

**Chapter 28**

**- Direct Approaches –**

"Good. And now, the other eye."

Inwardly, Sirius sighed and told himself to bear the physical checkup. They'd already drawn six tubes of blood, taken his temperature, his weight and height. Reflexes were the next thing on the list. Hopefully the last.

Dr. Cusatoni was an amiable woman, a seven on the beauty scale in Sirius' mind in terms of looks. But her insistent, almost overbearing attitude plunked her down to a five. It must have been all the years of her treatment that Sirius resented the most. He knew his condition interested her because it was enough to pull her away from the rest of her duties.

When the tests were done and she'd asked all her routine questions, Sirius teasingly gave her a smile. "Can I put my shirt back on or would you rather I keep it off?"

His charms still had no effect on her. "The heaters in your part of the building aren't quite working properly. If you keep it off it's at your own discretion."

Sour puss.

It made Sirius grin for real. "Is cold temperature a new variable in your statistic measurement?"

"Sirius, how many times have I told you, you're not a scientific experiment. You're here for treatment and we are just trying to figure out the best kind to give you."

"How long will that take?"

She tilted her head so that her blond locks framed her oval face nicely. "That depends on you. If you keep resisting our methods, you'll be here for quite a while. Added to that, your habits – smoking and drinking - have got to stop or else it will make it more difficult for you."

Sirius felt like pouting and almost did when she reached over to tousle his hair. He let her before pulling away and tugging his shirt over his head again. "I can't stay here for very long, Angela. I need to get back home. There's someone who needs me, there."

Angela nodded, knowing exactly who he was talking about. "I'll do anything you need me to," he was continuing. "No matter how painful…no matter how hard."

She smiled, taking her glasses off and cleaning them before reviewing his clipboard. "That's the spirit! And good news says that so far, your physical check up is normal enough. We'll wait on the blood results before we start you on any medication."

Impatiently, Sirius jumped off the examination table. "Fine. Is there anything else I need to report?"

"We're good for now. You look like you could use some sleep. Why don't you head on up to bed and we'll meet again tomorrow to discuss your first round of treatment?"

Mmm...yeah, he could deal with that. The stress of moving, meeting his father and returning to this hellhole was taking its toll on him. Not to mention the fact that he hadn't quite had a restful night...

Being with Lily like that had been the most uplifting, promising experience he'd ever had.

The thought made him smile.

Losing sleep had been worth it.

"Good night, then," he said, more than happy to leave the overly bright, overly sterilized atmosphere. Why did all hospitals have to be the same?

Angela returned the greeting, before going back to her clipboard, scribbling notes so fast that her pen blurred.

With a sigh, Sirius resigned himself to returning to his prison – er…quarters.

His feet seemed to carry him without conscious thought, proof that he'd spent way too much time at this facility. It was almost horrifying how well he knew the place from the pictures on the wall to the arrangement of the tiles on the floor.

The place even smelled the same, too. He could only describe it as clean.

As accommodating as it was, he could not help but hate it.

Lifting his chin, he mentally chided himself: he was going to be staying here and finishing this. He was going to face his past bravely. No matter what, he'd come clear and be worthy of looking Lily in the eye.

Worthy of looking James in the eye.

His whole world whirled to a stop so suddenly, so abruptly, that fear spiked through him.

He didn't notice that the ground rushed up to meet him, only that he suddenly couldn't breathe and that his chest hurt something awful. A loud sound grated in his ears and distantly, he was aware that it was the sound of his heartbeat as it picked up speed.

Voices.

There were so many of them, all talking at once. And the footsteps, thundering around him, making the ground shake slightly.

_White. _

"What happened?"

"He's going into shock."

"Grab me an oxygen tank, stat!"

Fingers grabbed at his collar, and blindly, Sirius tried to pull away from them. He fought in vain though because they did not loosen their grip, merely tightening to the point of pain.

_A smashed vehicle. _

Angela's voice by his ear. "Breathe, Sirius. Breathe," she instructed, and the oxygen mask was forced over his face. Desperately, Sirius sucked it in, collapsing against the wall, holding it in place with shaking hands.

_A battered, broken body. _

With all his energy, Sirius slammed the door to his memories shut, turning to face the darkness that loomed before him.

This was why he hated the place so much.

**0-0-0-0-0**

"Ungghhh…"

"2 minutes, 47 seconds."

Sirius stared up at the ceiling, trying to remember when he'd decided to lie down. Confusion was soon replaced with realization: the pain in his body told him that he'd just gone through a spell, again. He wanted to disappear on the spot.

"That makes a total of 3 incidents this week alone," someone whose voice he didn't recognize spoke from his left. He didn't bother to turn to see who it was. It continued to speak. "I heard the first two were consecutive. That's never happened before." Sirius tried to get a grip on his temper but was not able to. How dare they sound excited and curious? If they were planning on seeing how many times he could survive a number of spells in one day, they had another think coming.

He was helped up into a sitting position, the action making his stomach lurch as the room spun. Had he hit his head? He concentrated on breathing and blinking, trying to get things to come into focus; to make sense.

Angela knelt before him shining that flashlight into his eyes again as she had done earlier during the physical. "Sirius? Can you hear me?"

Sirius scowled, jerking his face away so that he didn't have to be blinded any longer. "Perfectly well," he snapped. "Let go of me."

Obediently, whoever was holding him released his shoulders.

"Would you like some water?"

"No."

"Do you need some help back to your room?"

Sirius shook his head. "No. Leave me alone. I'll be okay."

Angela didn't seem convinced but she nodded, causing her helpers to back away a little more. "All right then." Now she sounded infuriatingly placating. He waited for her to ask what had brought about the spell and was surprised when it didn't come.

Maybe it was because she already knew the answer.

He didn't remember.

With what he hoped looked like dignity, he collected himself off the floor and shuffled away, toward the closest stairwell and began to climb as quickly as possible. His body protested, not up to moving again so soon after a spell, but he wanted to leave them all far, far behind.

His room was located on the third floor, the same one he'd used all those years ago. It was almost as though they'd kept it reserved just for him. As he stumbled toward it, he saw a figure just outside the doorway, dressed in a white lab coat.

Another Healer.

The lights overhead flickered, and he was reminded of a scene from a horror movie. Warily, he stopped in his tracks, eyeing the Healer and trying to figure out whether he'd ever seen the man before.

Dark wavy hair topped a long, face that ended in a pointed chin. The person was intent on reading something, his hands flipping through a vanilla-colored folder. As the lighting resumed its normal function with a soft hum, Sirius's gaze was drawn to a small band that glinted on his left ring finger.

As if finally noticing that he was not alone any longer in the hallway, the man looked up. He had a stern look, a man of all business and no play. He had thin lips stretched out into what looked like a grimace.

Feeling his fingers curl, Sirius struggled to quell the sudden anger that surged forward. He was surprised to find himself comparing this man to his father. He was betrayed into a jump when the folder snapped shut and the Healer let out a sigh which sounded more like a hiss.

"Who are you?" Sirius demanded.

"I am Dr. Josiah Patil," the man answered, clearly not ruffled by the antagonistic tone in Sirius' voice. "Head Healer of Division Two. You must be the special case that everyone is talking about."

Irked, Sirius was about to object when Josiah stepped forward a pace. Instinctively, the boy moved back. He did not want or need anybody else ogling him like he was some sort of freak. Fuck that he wasn't an experiment. He'd almost forgotten how detached the people at this Institution could get. "What, are you here to study me, too? Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not in the mood right now."

"I've been assigned to your care, Mr. Black. I'll be leading your treatment from here on in," said Josiah, coolly. It made Sirius feel like a child being reprimanded. If he wasn't so taken aback, he would have gotten angry. As it was, he felt like a fish flung out of water.

"What about Angela?"

"Dr. Cusatoni thought it would be better if we tried a different approach this time around." He flourished the folder he had in his hand while he spoke, and somehow, Sirius knew he had known this from the moment he'd set eyes on this man. "I've read up on your files but I think we'll have to start from scratch."

Hope flickered in Sirius' chest but he sternly told himself not to get too excited. "So confident that you can help me, doctor?" he sneered.

Again, Josiah answered him frankly, brushing off his guarded attitude. "Help you, yes. Cure you…I will try. But I'm going to get down to the point." His demeanor turned even more serious. "I will not waste my time if you are not interested. There are other cases out there, other important ones. The sooner you quit your immature hesitancy, the sooner I can move on to those."

This time, Sirius had to try not to wince. Wow, this guy was blunt. But, in some ways, Sirius liked that better. He preferred it to those who tried to beat around the bush. He couldn't help his bitterness though; old habits died hard. "Yeah? And what would you classify as important?"

Josiah glared and it made a shiver run down Sirius' spine. It made him want to bite his tongue, sheepishly. "If you think you are the only one in this Institute who has problems, well, I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but you're not. I know for a fact that there are others who hate this place as much as you, if not more."

This guy was tough. Usually, when Sirius got snippy, people cowered away. He could respect someone who was willing to respect him enough to look him in the eye and not fear his wrath. He decided to push his luck a little further though. "There isn't anyone who hates this place more than I do," he priggishly said, crossing his arms to hide the fact that his hands had begun to shake. Damn, he wanted to smoke…

The doctor cast him a look that once again made him feel stupid. "So self-centered," he said, with a shake of his head, in disdain. "But I suppose that comes with your background and all."

Anger getting the better of him, Sirius spit, "You guys are all the same. Talk shit. Think you guys know it all. Think you guys _understand _us." He glared back, staring the other man down. "But you don't. You won't. You can't. Because you've never been there."

He expected the man to say something to defend himself, to shoot back a reply again. But instead he merely nodded. "You're right. I haven't been there. But I know someone who has. Someone who still is and I'd do anything to help her."

Josiah pulled another folder out from underneath the first. Sirius hadn't noticed that there were two. Eyes narrowing in challenge, the doctor answered the unasked question. "My wife." He met Sirius' glare with ease. "Mr. Black, before you go making assumptions, you might want to be less hypocritical. I don't like being classified as something I'm not any more than you like being treated as a science project." He moved purposefully toward him and shoved the folder into his chest, so hard that Sirius was forced back a step. "I have nothing to hide," Josiah said, his voice portraying his annoyance even though his face had resumed its passive look. "These are my files. It has all my personal and background information as well as credentials. If you decide to go through with treatment under me, my office number is inside. If not, then it's best to just pack your bags and call it quits."

And with that, he strode away, leaving Sirius standing in the hall, staring after him.

* * *

**In order to walk forward**

**One has to begin the journey**

* * *

Josiah Patil, age 40,

Marital Status: Married.

Graduate from Oxford University, First Class Honors, Department of Medical Psychiatry 1964. Included in his file were his official transcripts which displayed phenomenal scores. He seemed to specialize in Behavioral Studies.

He'd headed multiple research projects, written several books and had been in the profession for almost 10 years.

His wife, Rose Patil, had been diagnosed with Pick's Disease and was undergoing treatment at the same facility. They had two children, twins, Pavarti and Padma who were under the care of their uncle because their mother was deemed unsuitable to be their guardian any longer.

Somehow, reading that information was like a slap to the face.

Reading onward, Sirius discovered that the doctor had devoted his life to trying to find a cure but so far had not made much progress. He often went overseas to do talks and participate in debates and discussions about different mental illnesses. His insight was valued by many others around the world.

Turning the page, Sirius scanned the man's progress and current projects. His name was under one of the lists, labeled as "dangerous" and "incurable".

Resentment was the first emotion that he felt but it was quickly replaced with overwhelming sadness. Was that really his classification? His status? Was there any way he could change it?

He was tempted to throw the files across the room but that would solve nothing. Instead, Sirius glared at the offending words and made up his mind. He'd been released before on the basis of stability. If that was the case, he could be cured, he was sure of it. Surely this doctor had thought of something else that he believed could help.

Pressing his back up against his bed, Sirius idly flipped through the rest of the files which contained the man's thesis papers, book titles and summaries, achievements and awards and legal documents. The latter part showed that other than a few parking tickets, the doctor had a clean slate.

The guy was a saint.

He was about to close the folder when he came across the last portion which contained photos. There were a few of the man doing work-related things like giving talks and lectures. A few of them were with a number of the staff on site. There were also a few family photos if the pictures of identical babies gave away any indication. They were beautiful, like little cherubs with wavy hair like their father's and round faces like their mother. All they were missing were little togas and wings.

His eyes lingered on the face of Rose, his wife, who seemed so…normal.

He was suddenly reminded of his own mother, how normal she had looked before her disease had taken over completely and left her as a shell of a person.

Not wanting to delve into those memories, he flipped the photo over. On the back of the page was scrawled one sentence: _One person is enough_.

Suddenly, Sirius was frantically searching through the folder, looking for that office number.

Here was a person who could empathize. A person who had sacrificed everything for the well-being of one person. Whose circumstances, although different, were very similar. Who was willing to be completely honest and hide nothing from him.

Burning the digits into his mind once he found them, Sirius tucked the folder under his arm and took off at a run, nearly knocking over another Healer who called out for him to calm down. He couldn't though, anxious as he was. He didn't care if security got the wrong impression and came after him.

There were a few other wards who stared after him as he searched the complex. Was Rose among them? He found himself wondering. But he didn't bother to stop and check because a sense of urgency drove him forward. He had a feeling that Dr. Patil's offer only stood for a certain period of time, after which, he'd move onto another case that was calling for his attention.

The Healer's office was not really an office. It was more like his quarters because when Sirius barged inside without knocking, he almost collided with the same metal-grid bed that was in his room. The space was a lot larger though, with a huge desk that took up an entire wall. It looked like it was currently in use because the small desk light was on and a few books were strewn about the table top, pages open, bookmarked.

There was also a small shelf that was filled with pictures, most of them consisting of his wife and kids whom Sirius recognized instantly. His floor had books stacked up neatly, most likely because there was no book case to be had.

The smell of coffee hung in the air, and it was coming from his left. There, sitting on a plush chair, sat Josiah, a mug halfway raised to his lips, his dark eyes trained on the intruder. Then, without a word, he reached out and offered it to Sirius.

Hesitating for only a second, Sirius accepted it and watched as the man helped himself to another cup, mixing cream and two sugars in. When he was satisfied that it was to his taste, he turned to face the boy again. "When would you like to start?"

So direct.

Sirius was respecting him more and more.

"As soon as possible. Please. Sir." He handed back the folder with all of the Doctor's personals.

A hint of a smile crossed Josiah's lips and he gave him a single nod. He pushed back with his legs, sending his chair rolling a couple of feet so that he came to a stop at his desk.

Rolling back his sleeves, he rummaged around shuffling papers from one side to the other. Once again, Sirius caught sight of the folder holding his files, his name labeled clearly on the front. Not knowing what to do with himself, Sirius stayed standing.

To say that he was anxious was not exactly accurate.

He couldn't decide whether he was regretting his decision or if he was dreading it. He had to man up and try. If he didn't, he would never know…

"I'm not crazy," he thought to inform the doctor.

The man turned to face him again, his eyes contemplative. Face reddening, Sirius took a bold move and sat down on the bed. "I'm not."

Again, Josiah nodded once. "I don't think you are," he said at last. "But I think you're a coward."

It took everything in Sirius' power not to lash out at that. He willed himself to bottle up the hurt, to accept it, because it was true. No matter what kind of front he put up, the truth was that he was scared.

Scared shitless.

"But," Josiah continued, "I might change my mind. You've already proven me wrong today."

Gripping the cup between his suddenly cold hands, Sirius breathed, "_Can_ you help me?"

"That depends. The method will be different, but I don't like approaching things from an angle, if you know what I mean."

He hedged, "What kind of tests are you going to do, doctor?" He was so not looking forward to watching home videos or looking at paintings. Nor was he looking forward to recounting what happened before the incident that changed his life forever.

Most of the time, he'd pass out before he got a chance to say anything.

Those days had been pure nightmares.

Just remembering them made him break out into a sweat.

Josiah fixed him with that pensive look again before pulling something out of his desk drawer. "Let's start with something simple. You tell me the first thing that comes into your head when you see these pages." He showed Sirius a book full of different colored construction paper, all of them blank. "It won't be easy, nor will it be pleasant. But I think you can't get better unless you are willing to go through some discomfort."

Sirius took a swallow of the drink he held, grateful for the warmth it brought. He focused on keeping calm. Again, he couldn't help but admire the man's honesty. "All right. On one condition: no tying me to any chairs."

Dr. Patil broke into a full out genuine smile. "Deal."

**0-0-0-0-0**

Lily flinched as the head to her pencil snapped.

Frowning, she put it down and reached for her sharpener. She would have liked to sharpen it using her small razor blade but with all the security set up around the perimeter, it would likely have been confiscated. She made a mental note to herself to re-sharpen all of her supplies beforehand in case something like this happened again.

For now, she'd have to make do with the impreciseness of this tool.

She could feel eyes on her, tons of them, as she rummaged through her pencil case. She suddenly wished for the security of her green coat, the anonymity it brought with it; the comfort in the sense of invisibility.

However much she wished for it, though, she would never be allowed. Like all the other students, Lily was dressed in the light gray blazer that proudly displayed the crest of Beauxbaton's Academy. The red-brown skirt was not very practical in this type of weather but she hadn't had much of a choice as it was part of the uniform's code.

To say that she'd been apprehensive of going to a new school was an understatement.

She'd been _terrified_.

But Orion had assured her of her safety. The school was equipped with a very good surveillance and security program. It was constantly monitored, and with I.D. and access cards, no stranger would be able to get in very easily. He'd even asked the school for permission to post guards in the grounds.

They must have been good: Lily had yet to set eyes on them.

She had mixed feelings about the whole ordeal because she wasn't too thrilled at the prospect of being constantly watched. At the same time, she was grateful to the man for giving her a measure of freedom.

Now, if only Sirius were here…

She wondered how he was doing.

What he was doing.

It hadn't even been a day yet and she was missing him fiercely.

"You must be the new transfer student everyone is on about," a voice to her right said, causing her to jump. If she had been using the razor blade, Lily was certain she would have cut herself on it in her surprise.

The girl was tall and skinny. Too skinny, because the uniform looked like it was hanging off of her. Lily found herself wondering whether the skirt had been tailored to fit her or if it was being held up by pins.

Raising her eyes, she was met with a grin. "Hi. I'm Alice. Alice Wellington." She stuck out a hand in introduction, and Lily noted fingernails that had evidently been chewed on. There was some sort of ink in her palm, too, and she realized that the girl had used it to write notes of some sort. Her dull brown hair was tied back into a loose ponytail that was quickly becoming unraveled, but the girl either didn't notice or didn't care.

After a brief hesitation, Lily reached up to let her hand brush Alice's – a quick touch and no more than that. If Alice was offended or not, she did not let on. Instead, she tilted her head and said, "If you don't mind, is that your real hair color?"

The whole class seemed to quiet down, all eager to hear Lily's response. So far, no one had been bold enough to make her acquaintance and it was probably because of the way she hadn't quite encouraged anyone to speak with her. Lily felt herself smile shyly. "Yes…it is."

"Hear that, guys? We've got an original!" Alice called, and half the class groaned while the other half cheered.

Before Lily could ask, Alice informed her, "There was a running bet that the whole school had. You just ended it."

The whole school?

Lily felt her face flush.

"Relax," Alice said, as though reading her mind. "They're just excited because it's not often we get anyone new around here. Black and Potter were the last, but they're gone."

Ah.

That was right.

Come to think of it, Lily remembered the painting that Sirius had shown her. He and his brother had been wearing this exact uniform.

Somehow, the reminder was comforting. There was a part of him that was still with her.

Mentally, she shook herself out of her thoughts. Alice was talking again – boy, was she ever a chatterbox! – and she forced herself to pay attention. "After class, I'll show you where your locker is. It's not a big school, really, so you'll have this place memorized in no time. If you'd like - "

"-_I'd_ like it if you'd keep your tongue behind your teeth, Wellington," the boy sitting in the desk across from Lily's sighed. "You talk entirely too much. You'll scare her away."

Peering around Alice, Lily saw the source of the silky voice. His hair was straight and jet black, almost as long as Sirius' and contrasted strongly with his pale face. A hooked nose was set between two equally jet black eyes. Instead of being terrified that such a haunting figure was sitting so close, she was intrigued. She decided that if she had to draw him, she'd cast him in shadows and portray him as dark and mysterious.

Alice huffed, good-naturedly. She jutted her thumb in his direction while she addressed Lily. "That there's Severus Snape. Resident nerd of the school. Slotted as the top student of the year."

Severus did not cringe at her elaborate introduction. Instead, he nodded at her. "I was asked to bring you up to speed if you needed it. But you look like you have a good head on your shoulders – original or not."

Despite the feeling of shyness that threatened to overwhelm her, Lily smiled.

Things were different now.

Sirius had shown her that not all men were out to hurt her.

She found her voice. "Thank you," she said, and didn't bother to specify who she was talking to.

Either way, Alice and Severus didn't have a chance to chat with her anymore because the teacher came in and called the class to order.

As the day continued, Lily felt herself grow more and more at ease. Maybe it was the way everyone seemed to accept her without a second glance. Maybe it was the way everyone seemed to know everyone else. She began to get used to people calling her name and welcoming her to the school.

She felt like a different person.

Like she had stepped into another world.

Finally…

Finally, she'd quit being invisible.

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

**AN:** Oh, take a look at that! No cliffhanger! (For once, haha!) I'd really like your thoughts and comments on this chapter. Please, please review! The next chapter may be a while in coming just because a) one of my puppies chewed through my internet cord so I'm stuck on my laptop and iPhone for a while until I can find time to replace it and b) my schedule looks like it's been jam-packed leaving me with only enough room to breathe and nothing else. If time allows it, I may have time to eat!

In any case, keep me inspired during this period and I'll see you in the next update. Thanks for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


	29. Pride and Prejudice

GENUINE GEMINI By: P.P.V.V.

_Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim applies…all original characters/ideas are mine to claim._

* * *

**AN**: I've been a busy bee for the last few weeks, but I am back. I've written something that has finally satisfied me. But I wonder if it will satisfy all of you? Please enjoy and be prepared for the ride ahead.

* * *

_Previously: _

_Sirius breathed, "Can you help me?"_

_"That depends. The method will be different, but I don't like approaching things from an angle, if you know what I mean," Dr. Patil answered. _

_He hedged, "What kind of tests are you going to do, doctor?" He was so not looking forward to watching home videos or looking at paintings. Nor was he looking forward to recounting what happened before the incident that changed his life forever._

_Most of the time, he'd pass out before he got a chance to say anything._

_Those days had been pure nightmares._

_Just remembering them made him break out into a sweat._

_Josiah fixed him with that pensive look again before pulling something out of his desk drawer. "Let's start with something simple. You tell me the first thing that comes into your head when you see these pages." He showed Sirius a book full of different colored construction paper, all of them blank. "It won't be easy, nor will it be pleasant. But I think you can't get better unless you are willing to go through some discomfort."_

"_So long as you don't tie me to any chairs." _

"_Deal."_

* * *

**Chapter 29**

**- Pride and Prejudice -**

Today they were holding the session in Sirius' room because despite the fact that he'd been instated, he still had school work to attend to. It wouldn't do, his father had reasoned, to fall behind.

Another one of his stupid deals.

"Tell me about your brother."

Sirius, sitting at his desk, glanced up in surprise. "What?"

"James. I want to know about James."

Sirius frowned, his fingers tapping against the grainy texture of the book he was holding. Josiah hadn't seen the cover so he had no idea which subject it was for. "What for?"

"We always talk about you," Josiah told him. "But since your condition has something to do with your brother, I want to know about him."

Well.

That was new.

Most doctors had wanted to know about the incident surrounding James' death. None had ever wanted to know about James as a person. What significance it could hold, was beyond Sirius.

He considered the request, fear tightening his chest. It was territory he didn't like touching upon.

Everyone at the Institute knew that Sirius avoided anything to do with his brother like the plague.

They'd been at treatment for almost a month now, and so far, Sirius had met with more spells than he'd ever had before. It was the last thing he needed right now.

Slowly, he said, "If you're asking whether I got along with him, then - "

"-I told you, I don't want to know about _you._ I want to know about James. What kind of person was he?"

James.

James was…

James was…dead.

That was the only thing Sirius could think of.

Snapping his fingers in front of his face, Josiah commanded his attention again. "Hey! Come on, don't slip into a spell just yet. I want you to breathe."

Had he begun to hyperventilate? Sirius checked himself and realized that he was indeed holding his breath, as though bracing himself for whatever pain or reaction his body would come up with.

"Was he a funny person?" the doctor pressed. "Easy to get along with?"

The questions seemed to be coming from far away as Sirius delved into his mind to try and process something other than James' image and voice. To his dismay, there was nothing. "I…I don't…know."

Josiah raised an eyebrow at that. "You don't know?" he repeated.

Sirius stared at the textbook pages in front of him, clearly not seeing them. "I don't…I don't remember…"

"How can you mourn someone's death if you don't remember them?"

Sirius didn't respond, too busy trying to dredge up something – anything – a single memory…but it was as if everything related to James had disappeared into a deep abyss of nothing in his mind. It made his heart thump in his chest like a drum.

_Surely they're not all bad…_ Lily's voice seemed to echo at him in comfort.

"My father loved him," Sirius said, at last, thinking about the way his father always talked fondly of James. "My father would do anything for him. Probably because he was the better son."

Josiah did not move to get his pen, keeping a close eye on his ward for his reactions. He let the tape recorder in his pocket pick up the conversation, instead. "Better in what sense? At school?" he asked. "Was he smart?"

"I guess so…"

"Was he outgoing?"

"I guess so…"

"Sirius."

Sirius glanced up at the man's frowning face. "I _guess _so!" he stressed. He didn't want to talk about this. He wanted out of this session _now_.

Josiah's look didn't change which told Sirius that he wouldn't be going anywhere and that this discussion would continue whether he liked it or not. "What do you remember, then?"

Sirius grimaced, reminding himself forcefully that he had agreed to go through this treatment. He thought for a moment before answering, "His laugh."

"That's it?"

Sirius nodded and when he did so, his head began to ache. _Calm down_, he told himself. So far, so good. They hadn't touched upon anything that was making his breath catch…

Josiah shifted in his seat, leaning forward a little as he thought about how to word his next question. "You don't remember what kind of personality he had? Did he like to laugh? Did he laugh often?"

Sirius was about to nod again but he froze halfway through as a memory surfaced from the dark hole in his mind. It was a strange memory.

No…

No, James was not laughing.

The face he remembered was angry.

The voice he remembered was yelling.

Wincing, Sirius tried to pull away from the memory, but was unable to. The yelling grew in intensity, and he felt his stomach plummet. His head abruptly became light and he dizzily put it down atop his book, gasping in air.

He could hear more yelling, but he was unable to respond.

It faded away into the back of his mind as he slipped away from reality and back into the past…

**0-0-0-0-0**

"What the fuck was _that?_" Don demanded, staring with wide eyes at the dust that was still taking time to settle down over the track.

Beside him, Connor was staring as well, astounded.

None of the other Marauders spoke, either. They were all as shocked as their team's star player.

"Did you just see what I saw?" Matt asked, running to catch up to his team mates, having come from the bleachers to watch the practices as they waited their turn. In his left hand, he held a pair of binoculars.

"Fuck _yes_ I did!" Don said, feeling almost breathless with excitement. "Connor, what kind of motorcycle is that kid _using_?"

"A Standard set. Class B, I think," Connor said, finally finding his voice.

A Class B Standard.

…A Class _B Standard_?

Donovan could not believe his ears. "How the hell…?" He stared at the time that flashed upon the redboard overhead. It was impossible. The numbers were incredible. It was better than his had been at recruitment onto this team.

Connor whispered, "What did the kid say his name was?"

"Sirius Black," another team member supplied.

Right. Sirius Black.

Not caring what the rest thought, Don strode away toward the boy whom, just an hour earlier, he had mocked. He didn't want to deliberate and discuss what they'd just seen; he wanted to experience this himself. Up ahead, Sirius hopped off his bike, tugging his helmet off. His black locks lifted with the motion, making them stick up every which way but he didn't seem to care. A huge, mischievous grin stretched his cheeks. "Did ya see that, James?" he was crowing, triumphantly. "I stayed outer lane, too!"

James' eyes were so wide that Don could make out the whites around the edges. "Sirius…"

He never got to say more because Don stopped in front of them, cutting him off. "How long have you been riding for, kid?"

Sirius' smile faltered and he narrowed his eyes. "What's it to you?"

"You're amazing," Don said, doling out the praise without a second thought. "What are you doing on a team as low standard as Rude's?"

A short distance away, said man let out a cry of rage at his words but Donovan paid him no mind. "With a timed run like that, you could easily make ranks. Maybe even go so far as GP."

Sirius tucked his helmet under his arm, wondering what kind of game Don was playing at. "If you're trying to distract me from our match next week - "

"-I'm not. I think I'm actually looking forward to it." He reached up to twist the stub of his earring, absently. "You might even be as good as me one day," he said, priggishly.

Sirius scowled and before he could make a snide comment, Don went on. "Hell, maybe you could make it as a spare on the Marauders."

At that, Sirius kicked the stand to his bike down and sneered, "A _spare?_ Don't kid yourself, Verovich. I'm better than a spare and you know it." He lifted his chin and plopped his helmet onto the seat of his still-running vehicle.

Don shook his head apologetically. "I do. Too bad kids aren't allowed on the team or else I'd recruit you right away. You keep it up, you hear me? I want you to perform just like this during our match or I'll never forgive you." It had been a while since he'd had a refreshing challenge. Even if it was against an amateur, he was actually excited.

Sirius leveled him a look. "I'll be there, don't you worry. And I already told you, I won't lose."

Don smacked him on the upper arm in approval. "I'll contact your team with details. See you then, Sirius."

Blinking in surprise at the man's sudden use of his name, Sirius could only nod dumbly.

The lead member of the Marauders stalked away, satisfied.

The galleries, which had been a riot of a crowd earlier, were now hushed, no doubt wondering what the exchange between the teams had been about.

"What a bastard," griped Rude, watching Donovan's retreating figure. "So stuck-up. To think I even respected him."

"He _is_ an asshole," Sirius agreed. He'd always thought that Don was a gracious, humble type. Pictures and tabloids were sure misleading.

"You'd better not lose, Sirius. Show him what you're made of," the team leader ordered. "You've already caught the eye of one of the world's best riders. Might as well go all out." Sirius nodded, his excitement late in catching up to him, not to mention his nerves. He turned to his brother, who was still staring at him, face pale. "Can you believe it, James?"

Eyes glittering from behind his frames, James merely pursed his lips and bent to gather his helmet. Moving toward his own motorcycle, he said, "We should get going."

"Going?" Sirius parroted, in confusion. "We're not done the trials yet. And you haven't even done your run."

"I don't need to," James said, his voice strangely monotonous. "It's not like I'll be the one racing."

Exchanging a puzzled glance with Rude, Sirius was about to say more when James jumped onto his bike and proceeded to speed away.

A faint sense of anger and hurt brushed its way over Sirius' heart. His chest tightened slightly at the feeling of unease that he felt. He stared after James' disappearing figure before he felt Rude push him slightly in a silent way of telling him to go after his brother.

So he did.

James headed straight home, and even though he'd left ahead, Sirius still managed to catch up to him. His twin had just parked into the garage and was just turning his ignition off when Sirius peeled into the space next to him a scant few moments after. Snapping his visor up, he glared at him.

"What is wrong with you?" he demanded, cutting straight to the chase.

"What is wrong with _you_?" James shot back. "First, you go ahead and try out for Rude's team without telling me. I thought I would let it go and be happy for you. But then I saw today's scores and I thought...there's something you aren't telling me."

Sirius' fingers tightened around his handlebars. His anger stepped up a notch, running through him like gasoline through a motorcycle. "You're _jealous_? You're actually jealous?" he revved his engine twice on the last word as if in emphasis.

James fairly ripped off his helmet. "Yes, I am," he declared. "Have you been practicing behind my back?"

Sirius wondered whether he was hearing correctly. "Practicing behind your back?" he repeated, incredulously. "I didn't know I needed permission to ride my bike. And least of all from you!"

"So you have been," James confirmed, in a quiet, stony manner. "You always want to show me up, don't you?"

"What?"

"You and I both know you're the better rider," James told him. "But you never give me a chance to even prove myself. You always have to go ahead and get all the glory for yourself."

"Look, mate, if this is about going up against a pro…"

"It isn't, Sirius!" James' shout filled the whole concrete room and while the sound did not bounce off its walls, it was loud enough to make his ears ring. "It isn't and you damn well know it. It's about the way you always have to try to make me feel inferior!"

His accusation rendered Sirius momentarily speechless. His anger was boiling now and he did not bother to control his temper – after all, James sure wasn't making the attempt to. "You think you're inferior? How do you think you make me feel? Acting like the good son. Always doing everything perfectly, by the book, no mistakes! Making me look like a sodding git in the eyes of my own father!" He was surprised at his outburst. He hadn't even thought about it but deep down, he knew he resented the way James seemed closer to his father than he ever was.

James balled his fists. "I'm _responsible_," he said. "Would it hurt you to act responsibly for once?" he demanded. "To think of others other than yourself?"

"You are so full of shit, James."

"Fuck you, Sirius!" James kicked the stand to his bike down so viciously that Sirius was certain he broke it. "Fuck you!"

The hurt and anger built up even more and Sirius flicked his machine off. "What is your problem, anyway? You're on the team, aren't you?"

James narrowed his eyes and spat, "Yeah. As a _spare_. And isn't that beneath you!"

Sirius opened his mouth to retort but remembered his words from earlier to Don. His tone then hadn't been anything but condescending at the mere thought of being classified as such. No wonder James had gotten upset. He felt his ears get red.

"Don't even say anything," James hissed, seeing him floundering. "I get it. Your mockery is in every movement you've shown me. Your timed run today? It was just salt in the wounds to gloat about how much better you are at riding than I am. And you know what's worse?" He shook his head, disgustedly as he spoke, "I love riding even more than you do. How is it that you got scouted by Verovich when your head is never in the game?"

"You want to go against Verovich? Go ahead," Sirius snarled. "If you think you have something to show, prove it, you son of a bitch. I don't need a match against a pro to know that I'm good. And just so you know, competition with you is the _least_ of my concerns." With that, he pulled his helmet off and clambered off of his motorcycle.

That seemed to stun James into silence because whatever words he was going to fling back died on his lips. His face was a picture of pure disbelief as he digested their argument. "You're a prick," he said, through clenched teeth.

"Come back and talk to me when you've actually beaten Don," Sirius told him, fingers clenching in their riding gloves. Oh, how badly he wanted to hit him…! He told himself to calm down. If Don was really serious in having a match against him, he could always reschedule it. What he wanted now was to see James crash and burn.

Sirius didn't need him or Don.

To hell what they thought of him.

He'd make it to the top on his own.

* * *

**For every mistake there is sorrow**

**And many are the mistakes that we have made.**

* * *

Oh God…he felt terrible. His head lolled to the side despite his best efforts to lift it. His eyes were mimicking the action, trying to roll themselves to the back of his head.

He was shaking…

"Can you hear me?"

Sirius tried to swear, but it came out sounding garbled. His tongue felt like it had swollen to twice its size.

The doctor was shining a light into his eyes and Sirius was glad that his body finally reacted the way it was supposed to. He jerked in a spasmodic-like action, the movement reflexive and feeble.

He heard Josiah sigh. "Now I see why they tie you up. If you keep falling like this, you're sure to give yourself a head injury."

As though his words were a stabilizer, Sirius began to get the feel of his body back, however uncoordinated it seemed.

When he became aware of his surroundings, he realized that Dr. Patil had propped him back up onto his chair. He was glad that he had the privacy of his rooms to save him from this embarrassment. His hands were free, his body slumped. This, he tried to correct, but his movements were slow and so very painful. He felt like he was watching himself from far away.

"Take it easy, son," Josiah said, sounding infuriatingly calm. "You just had a nasty bout of a spell."

Yeah.

For the third time that week.

_Uh oh…_

He was going to be violently sick.

Josiah seemed to be on the same page because before Sirius could throw up, he thrust a plastic bowl into the boy's arms. When he was finished hurling and retching, he gave him a glass of cool water.

Nerves steadying, Sirius downed the contents and let out a string of curses.

"Well, if you can talk like that, you must be feeling better," Josiah dryly said.

Cradling his head in his hands, Sirius pulled at the locks of his hair in frustration. "This isn't working, Doctor. You don't seem to have learned anything."

"Yes, I've learned something," the doctor said in a pensive tone. "But I'll have to think on it before I come to any conclusions. If you're up to it, I want to ask you a couple of questions. Why don't you lie down and try to get some rest? You look terrible."

Sirius growled something incoherent. "Do you want help?"

"Fuck you, Josiah," was the response, which made the elder man smile. He waited, in that stupid, _stupid _knowing way he had as Sirius tried to get to his feet. Wobbling, he could not get a foot in front of the other at all, collapsing to his knees with a groan.

With a small sigh, the man hoisted the boy upright again and helped him to hobble over to his bed. Shooting him a dark glare, Sirius resigned himself to being stretched out and tucked in. Against his will, his eyes closed and choosing to escape the pain that his body – and his brain - was throbbing with, he allowed himself to rest.

Time passed and while he waited for Sirius to recover, Josiah consulted his notes again. So far, Sirius had obliged him by cooperating with his treatments. He had a thought to give the boy sedatives, but he was afraid that it would only make things worse for Sirius than better. The boy's background with other treatments was rather lengthy and complicated. He did not want to start the boy off by using antidepressants the way other doctors had. From what Josiah had earned, they had used their methods on Sirius like they would to a lab rat.

No wonder Sirius didn't trust them.

Humanity was not something to overlook.

He'd just been going through the various tests they'd already done when Sirius suddenly spoke.

"Tell me the truth," his voice sounded hoarse, as if he hadn't used it in a while. He draped his right arm over his eyes to block out the overhead light. "What exactly are you doing? What are your tests supposed to bring about?"

Josiah glanced up from Sirius' files. Over the course of the weeks he'd been with his new charge, they had grown substantially. "Stimuli is well-known for its powerful effects on behavioral patterns in patients. Small things can trigger the brain so profoundly in a million different ways. The senses in particular lend a heavy and extensive hand in reactions," he rattled off his explanation almost absently.

Sirius tucked his chin in slightly as he considered the answer. Wryly he asked, "Got anything for me that doesn't sound like a textbook excerpt?"

At that, the doctor smiled. "In other words, I don't care so much about the spells in themselves, though, I must admit, those are quite interesting. It's no wonder everyone else has been eager to figure out how your body comes to your defense this way." He shook his head. "The amount of times you've fallen into these self-made comas is astounding. It's never been seen before."

"That doesn't answer my question, doc. What _exactly_ are you doing?" Sirius stressed.

" I've been digging to find out what kinds of things cause you to have your spells; everything else to me is secondary. Once we figure out exactly what triggers it, we'll have found the root to your problems and we can try to fix it."

And so far, things weren't looking too good. All of Josiah's attempts seemed to point to the fact that almost anything could set the boy off.

The test of colors had started out fairly well and then ended in a disaster. As he'd gone through the little booklet of construction paper, Sirius had presented himself as calm and collective, sometimes even going so far as to rattle off a good memory when he came upon a particular color or two. But when he'd reached the blank, white page at the end of the book, he'd hesitated. His hands had stilled, and the book had fallen to the floor as though forgotten. Eyes glazing over, Sirius had quickly slipped into a spell.

After that, the Doctor had avoided the color book in favor of another test.

The next time they'd met, they'd talked of things Sirius did not like: Eggplant. A certain brand of beer. Latin. A Professor that went by the name of Binns. Hangovers. Ambulances. And strangely enough, mirrors.

When the doctor asked to know why, Sirius seemed to close off before slipping into another spell.

Just last week, they'd talked about smells – the smell of freshly mown grass. Of a newly photocopied sheet of paper. Of sizzling bacon. Of gasoline.

Somehow, that had led to yet another spell.

It wasn't making any sense. There were so many loose ends. He flipped through Sirius' files yet again, scanning the pages even though he'd fairly memorized everything. Almost everyone who had done a report on him had attributed the trauma to the death of his brother. With his other hand, he rubbed at his temples wearily as he read.

All signs seemed to be pointing toward a diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Was it really so simple?

Apparently not, in Sirius' case.

"We need to give you an outlet," Josiah said. "Something that will allow you to channel your anxiety so that you don't slip into those spells. Obviously, talking about it seems to be making it worse."

"Like a diary?" Sirius asked, cynically. "I have memory issues, remember?" He tapped the side of his forehead for emphasis. "You won't get much but a blank page. Besides, it's been tried before."

"I'm not asking for a story, Sirius. A few words will suffice. Anything that will allow you to keep focused and give us some progress." Josiah proceeded to close the files and put them on top of his desk. "It will also help you to express things that you find you can't talk about. " He glanced at the boy over his glasses. "And from now on, I want you to try breathing exercises. It will keep the mind conscious of how to regulate itself during a spell."

Sirius raised his arm away from his face and peered at the elder man. "Do you really think that would help?"

Josiah leaned against the wood and crossed his arms, nodding. "Unless you want to be on medication to prevent you from panic attacks, I can only really recommend you calming techniques."

Something in what he said caught Sirius' attention. "Panic attacks? Is that all you think it really is?"

Josiah gave him a searching look. "You tell me, Sirius. From what I've seen, I honestly think your case is related to fear, not sadness."

Sirius clenched his teeth together. In one fluid motion, the boy sat up in bed, glaring. "That's complete bullshit," he snarled, throwing the covers off him. He made to hop off the bed but Josiah's hand came out to snag his sleeve.

"It's not. When something scares you, you panic and go into a spell. Most children exhibit the same kind of reaction to fears and phobias. The symptoms usually include an accelerated heartbeat, sharp intakes of breath and sometimes, even lightheadedness. So far, in your case, an odd coma-like state." He'd hit a sore spot, he could tell because he could feel Sirius trembling beneath the pads of his fingers. "Tell me, Sirius, what are you afraid of?"

He seemed to open his mouth to object, or maybe to curse again, but instead muttered, "You wouldn't believe me, even if I told you," and with that cryptic answer, he tugged his arm out of the doctor's grasp.

Josiah leaned forward, as if in an attempt to block Sirius' escape route. "I can't help you if you won't let me," he said, earnestly. "I thought I made that clear to you at the beginning."

Sirius hesitated for a moment, withdrawing so that he didn't feel like he was being crowded. Pressing his back against the wall, he willed himself to take big breaths and start counting. Unfortunately for him, Josiah did not decide to leave.

Somehow, he reminded Sirius of Dumbledore and he couldn't choose between being irritated or amused.

Finally, he breathed, "I'm not crazy…"

"I don't believe you are," the words were said in a non-pacifying way that made Sirius feel a lot better. "I already told you that before."

Looking him straight in the eye, he said, "My brother."

It took a moment for Josiah to piece together his implication. With a surprised blink, he tapped his pen against his thigh. "I don't understand. You're scared of your brother? Why?"

"Because he's dead, doctor," Sirius told him, tone anything but joking. His face turned paler than it was already, probably in an effort to fight off a spell. "James...He's not supposed to be here, anymore. But he is. He _is_."

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

**AN:** Oh boy. Here's to hoping I've managed to intrigue some of you. Thanks for stopping by again. If you enjoyed (or even if you didn't) please leave me a review with your thoughts.

Thanks for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


	30. Broken Pieces

**GENUINE GEMINI By: P.P.V.V.**

_Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim applies…all original characters/ideas are mine to claim._

* * *

**AN:** Wow. Thanks so much for your support, you guys! I can't tell you how much it means to me. I'm driven with this story because it's a style that I had originally intended to play around with (and trust me, I had no idea it would go on for this long!) but I've eventually started to fall in love with. Thank you again for your lovely reviews and the inspiration that came along with them. Without further ado, then.

Onward.

* * *

_Previously:_

_Josiah gave him a searching look. "You tell me, Sirius. From what I've seen, I honestly think your case is related to fear, not sadness."_

_Sirius clenched his teeth together. In one fluid motion, the boy sat up in bed, glaring. "That's complete bullshit," he snarled, throwing the covers off him. He made to hop off the bed but Josiah's hand came out to snag his sleeve._

_"It's not. When something scares you, you panic and go into a spell. Most children exhibit the same kind of reaction to fears and phobias. The symptoms usually include an accelerated heartbeat, sharp intakes of breath and sometimes, even lightheadedness. So far, in your case, an odd coma-like state." He'd hit a sore spot, he could tell because he could feel Sirius trembling beneath the pads of his fingers. "Tell me, Sirius, what are you afraid of?"_

_He seemed to open his mouth to object, or maybe to curse again, but instead muttered, "I'm not crazy…"_

_"I don't believe you are," the words were said in a non-pacifying way that made Sirius feel a lot better. "I already told you that before."_

_Looking him straight in the eye, he said, "My brother."_

_It took a moment for Josiah to piece together his implication. With a surprised blink, he tapped his pen against his thigh. "I don't understand. You're scared of your brother? Why?"_

_"Because he's dead, doctor," Sirius told him, tone anything but joking. His face turned paler than it was already, probably in an effort to fight off a spell. "James...He's not supposed to be here, anymore. But he is. He _is_."_

* * *

**Chapter 30**

**- Broken Pieces -**

* * *

_"What do you mean?"_

_ "He wants me dead, too. I know it." _

There was a brief silence.

_ "He's there, every time I look in the mirror." _

Again, another silence, but this time, it stretched a bit longer.

"_I know you don't believe me. But it's true_." The tape recorder picked up on Sirius' detached tone. _"James always looks so disappointed and…_" his voice trailed off, and the recorder squeaked and rustled as it was jostled about while it was still on. The words, "_Breathe, Sirius, breathe_!" became audible. It picked up scuffling and grunting. "_It's going to be okay_."

"_You don't understand_," Sirius wheezed and his voice sounded a little higher on the recording than it had in real life. "_You don't-_"

Josiah finally reached out to press the stop button.

Behind him, leaning against the doorway, clipboard in hand, was Angela, whose pen had stopped scribbling all together.

The Head Healer of District Two turned to face her. "Well?"

"…is this some sort of a joke, Josiah?" Angela asked.

Josiah contemplated her words before looking back at his tape recorder.

"I was inclined to think so at first," he told her.

"And what made you change your mind?" She sounded as though she were begging him to help change hers.

"Because Sirius unintentionally gave us some answers at last," Josiah moved his finger over to another button on the recorder and pressed down. Instead of explaining himself, he decided to show her. There was a whizzing sound and when he removed his finger, the conversation played again.

_ "He wants me dead, too. I know it. He's there, every time I look in the mirror. I know you don't believe me, but it's true. James always looks-_ "

The doctor clicked the switch one more time, meeting Angela's quizzical glance with a look that beseeched her to humor him. Thankfully, she stayed quiet. Again, the tape recorder whirred as it was rewound. When he let his finger go, it squeaked before repeating, "_He's there, every time I look in the mirror. I know_-"

And stop.

Rewind.

"…_there, every time I look in the mirror. I know_-"

"Josiah." Dr. Cusatoni said his name slowly, as though realization dawned on her.

"Yes, Angela. His irrational behavior around reflective surfaces," Josiah pulled one of the file folders – because at this stage in his research, he could no longer fit everything into one – closer to himself. "We thought he had a post-traumatic issue with his reflection but it seems that he doesn't even see himself. He sees the face of the person he believes he killed."

Dr. Cusatoni finally let herself into the room, crossing over so that she could come to stand beside him and peer down at the pages of accounts. There, listed, were reported incidents of fainting spells right after violent behavior in front of reflective surfaces. The most recent was one in a school's dance studio.

Before Angela could ask, Josiah said, "He feels like he is being haunted by his brother."

"That's crazy. He sees his brother?"

"It's his guilt. He blames the accident on himself," Josiah said, choosing to ignore her first choice of words.

_I'm not crazy._

No.

No, Sirius wasn't.

"Seeing his brother makes him remember the accident, something his mind keeps trying to reject and close off." Josiah let his hand trail over the buttons of the recorder, but made no move to push any of them. "I think that if we can find out what happened in that accident, we will be able to advance a stage in his treatment. Sometimes the best way to move forward is to move backward."

Angela gave him a glare. "You know as well as I do that Sirius has never been able to recount the accident."

"No," agreed the other doctor, grimly. "Every time I try to get him to say something, he falls into a spell. But I found someone who can. Someone who was there when it all happened."

"And who was that?"

Pulling a magazine out of the folder, Josiah flipped its glossy cover forward so that she could make out the figure of a man, dressed in tight leathers on a blue and black motorcycle that, despite all the logos plastered onto it, predominantly read _The Marauders_.

"Donovan Verovich."

**0-0-0-0-0**

Bellatrix tossed her hair over her shoulder as she bent down to admire the motorcycle. It was rather impressive. According to Charlie, it had been sent in for repair by a sponsored team.

Whatever that meant.

The vehicle was large and very beautiful. It had been polished down to a shine, with labels placed tastefully around the bike in a way that seemed to embrace the machine instead of cover it.

"When are we doing this, then?" she asked, not looking up from the glossy blue-black color.

"As soon as possible," Charlie answered, coming to stand behind her. She didn't have to turn around to know that he was gazing down at her. In fact, she could feel the eyes of the other three men on her, too. She attracted looks like a moth to a flame. "I thought it would be good for business."

She turned to give him a cutting glance. "So long as you remember that I'm not doing this for free."

As beautiful as she was, Bellatrix sure had a way to make people back off. Charlie certainly did, now. The others, save Remus, retreated a step, too. "Don't worry, Lestrange. You'll get paid. With a team like the Marauders in town, publicity has been awesome. I haven't seen a day off in months."

"Good," she said, running her hand over the leather seat. It reminded her of Sirius' motorcycle and she wondered how he was doing. Much to her annoyance, she also wondered how Lily was doing. For some reason, she felt sad at the thought that she hadn't heard from them in weeks.

Ugh, she was turning into a softie.

"I want to get some advertisement out as early as next week," Charlie said. "I know the Marauders won't be around forever, so I need to step up my game."

Remus leaned against the long table that served as Charlie's desk, his arms crossed, his face disapproving. "I don't see how getting a poster girl is going to bring you more customers."

"Aw, come off it, Lupin," Amos scoffed, taking a bite out of his sandwich. The man was forever eating, his sleeves rolled up to display his beefy arms. Beside him, Daneb stayed silent, watching with his beady eyes. "You know that the crowd – especially our kind – loves that sort of shit." Then, as if realizing what he said, he paused his chewing to look fearfully in Bellatrix's direction. "I didn't mean…"

"Shove it, Diggory," Bellatrix snapped. "I know what you meant. Don't try to cover it up." She straightened and the movement was so alluring that all four men had to suck in their breaths. She'd taken fashion over practicality again, wearing a tight jean skirt and leggings despite the wind chill. Her sweater hugged the rest of her slim body, accentuating her curves.

Yes, definitely, she'd draw attention.

She wasn't sure if she appreciated being treated as a symbol, but it was a job. Usually Bellatrix wouldn't dream of modeling for something like a motor magazine, but since Charlie had been Sirius' close friend, she hadn't been able to turn him down when he'd asked the favor from her.

Remus pushed himself away from the table, striding toward her. "You don't have to do it, Belle," he said, his voice quiet enough so that the other men in the room wouldn't be able to hear, and she felt her defensive edge crumble at his near-to pleading tone.

"It's fine," Bellatrix murmured, touched by his concern. "It's just another shoot, Remus. It's not all that different from a fashion magazine."

He gave her a small encouraging smile and she found herself reaching out to touch his arm in gratefulness.

At least he didn't see her as mere eye-candy. There was a difference between the way Sirius had treated her and the way Remus treated her.

With respect.

She was coming to appreciate him more and more.

He was the perfect gentleman.

She knew without a doubt that he would not leave her side for a minute if she asked it of him.

Turning her attention to Charlie, who was watching the exchange silently, she announced, "I'll be here after school tomorrow. You have a crew?"

"They're ready," he said, wiping his hands on a towel and leaving behind dirt streaks. "I appreciate it, Lestrange."

She lifted her chin, in that haughty way she had and turned her heel to leave. Remus threw the other three a non-committal smile before hurrying to catch up with her. Ever since Sirius had left, he and Bellatrix had grown closer. Exactly what they were now, he feared to guess, but internally, he already knew. And he supposed Bellatrix knew, too, but hadn't said anything to make it formal.

Official.

He didn't need the tradition, anyway.

So lost was he in his thoughts that he almost bumped into her when she suddenly stopped. Remus had been unconsciously listening for the clack of her heels on the ground but realized, belatedly, that she was wearing flats.

She didn't seem to notice his blunder because her eyes were trained to the doorway, where her pathway was being blocked by a man that seemed familiar, but at the same time was a total stranger.

He was tall and lanky. There was something about him that seemed dangerous and he could see that despite Bellatrix's neutral expression, there was fear in her eyes. Clearly, she knew him, and clearly she disliked him. Even Remus found himself staring at the guy in awe.

A slow, knowing smile crossed his lips. "Well, if it isn't the Princess."

She stiffened slightly and her chin raised itself higher. "Don, was it?" she sneered the name. "If you're looking for Sirius, he's not here anymore. And neither is Evans."

He gave her a slight, mocking bow. "Wow. I'm honored that you remembered my name. And don't worry, honey. I'm not here for Sirius or his little redhead."

For the first time ever, Remus watched as Bellatrix took a step back.

She never backed down for _anybody_.

He felt himself tense, ready to stand between them if need be.

"And I'm not here for you either, much to my disappointment."

Bellatrix snorted, "Go fuck yourself."

"I'd rather you do it for me, babe," he answered, smoothly. Remus bristled at the guy's tone. Don gestured with his hand. "I'm actually here to pick up my motorcycle, so if you don't mind, you're in my way."

Finally managing to break whatever spell had decided to descend upon him, Remus reached out to tug Bellatrix's elbow so that she stumbled back a couple of paces closer to him. She made no protest, nor did she resist, moving easily to stand by his side and into the circle of his arm.

Don entered the small shop, his dark eyes roaming his surroundings only briefly before moving with purpose toward the very motorcycle Bellatrix had been admiring.

Somehow that Beast of a machine seemed to compliment him, complete him. He seemed to forget about everyone for a moment as he bent to inspect it, his practiced fingers coming out to test certain bolts and screws. The way he moved spoke volumes of how much he loved and respected the bike.

Charlie came forward and had a few words with him and that's when Remus took the opportunity to ask his own questions of his partner in low tones.

"And you know him, how?"

She kept her own voice hushed. "Saw him harassing Evans one time," she whispered back. "Apparently, he scared her."

"Something seems off about him," Remus agreed, never once lifting his gaze from the man. His cocky attitude and offhand remarks just struck the wrong chord with him. As if sensing that he was being watched, Don turned slightly to face them again.

"So…where did Sirius go?"

It was Remus who answered him. "Apparently, back to his father's."

Those eyes settled on him with such a fierce intensity that Remus felt himself flush. "He just upped and left?"

Suspicion now piqued, Remus defensively asked, "What's it to you?"

"He's a friend of mine," Don replied, dusting his hands off and getting to his feet. His long, dark hair fell over his shoulders in much the same fashion as Sirius liked to keep his. He absently swiped it back. "I invited him to a race and was expecting him to come out."

Everyone went strangely silent. When Bellatrix looked around, she saw that the rest of the group seemed to be struggling to keep their jaws from falling to the floor. Their eyes were so wide that she found herself wondering just what she'd missed.

Unable to stand being kept out of the loop, she demanded, "How come he's never mentioned you?" the boys all nodded at that, still too stunned to use their voices to agree.

Don gave her a cryptic look as he clambered up onto his beloved vehicle. "I didn't expect him to," he said. With a flick of his wrist, he started the engine and revved, the sound reverberating off of the other present metals that it sounded louder than necessary. Bellatrix had to cover her ears, but the rest of the boys looked on with fascination.

Charlie recovered himself quickly. "Sirius doesn't race."

Don reached over to pull on a helmet. "I know that," he said, quietly. Snapping the visor shut, he raised two fingers in salute and prepared to screech out.

Still not fully convinced, Remus asked, "So why are you looking for him?"

For a moment, it didn't look like Don was going to answer. When it came, it was almost drowned out by the sudden roar of his engine as he kicked off. "Sirius and I…we have a score to settle."

**0-0-0-0-0**

_Four hundred_ _twenty two…_

_ Four hundred twenty three…_

_ Four hundred twenty four…_

Sirius' mental count was cut off when a knock resounded at his door and the metal frame of his bed squeaked when he swung his legs up and over the edge. If it was Josiah, he was not so eager to answer it.

His last spell had been after that stupid interview and he had been out for more than half a day. The resulting pain had been almost torturous.

The worst part was, the memory of the fight with James had stayed with him.

It was slowly driving him insane.

He knew that the memories surrounding that one would only lead to more pain so Sirius kept those under a heavy lock and key in his mind. No amount of prodding would ever open that door again, he promised it to himself.

So, he'd kept himself away from the doctor for the last few days. In despair, he thought about giving up all together.

It was too painful…

The knock sounded again, and Sirius warily looked at the door. If the doctors wanted to come in, they would have done so already. If he refused to open it, security would just break it down.

He knew that from past experiences.

The next knock echoed the beat of his heart and he clenched his teeth, body strung, tense, waiting, but inside, he knew he was resigned. If they came in armed with sedatives, he would be powerless to stop them from pinning him down and administering them.

Whoever it was tried testing the doorknob and, finding it unlocked, decided to let themselves in.

He was definitely caught off-guard.

Standing in the doorway was none other than Lily.

"Sirius?"

Her voice seemed unreal in this cold, cold place.

His breath came out haltingly. Had he been holding it? "Lily…?" was he dreaming?

She'd probably come over right after school because she was still dressed in her uniform. She seemed unreal and his mind, wrapped in a sort of fog, struggled to piece together the reason why she would be here.

Had something happened?

No…

Her green eyes portrayed nothing but happiness.

Her smile chased all the shadows away and without thinking, he launched himself across the room and all but threw himself into her arms.

She let out a small squeak of surprise and dropped whatever it was she was holding – her book bag, it seemed - to catch him. He crushed her small figure to himself, bewildered and ecstatic beyond words to see her.

"What's the matter, Sirius?" she whispered, tenderly, stroking the hair at the back of his neck. "You're trembling."

"Lily …it was _awful_!"

Alarmed, Lily moved forward, bringing him with her toward the bed. "What happened? Oh, Sirius!" for she had just gotten a good look at his face. What she saw was drawn out, pale and tired. His eyes held the haunted, heavy-lidded look that she hated. She sat them down and took his chin in her right hand, examining his features with concern.

It was the same as when he'd been in the hospital. He was withdrawn and scared and he looked like he had lost a lot of weight. "Are you eating?" she demanded. "Are you sleeping?"

He didn't answer.

"Dr. Patil called me this morning," Lily thought to inform him. "Said something about you being uncooperative. I thought you were doing so well when we last talked. You told me you were just fine!"

Sirius looked close to tears. "I can't do it, anymore. I can't…" he shook his head, as though trying to banish whatever scared him from it.

"Yes, you can." She leaned up and gave him a quick kiss. "Yes, you _can_. And you _will_. You're doing splendid already."

His eyes shot up to hers. "I…I am?"

"Dr. Patil told me that you have been working so hard. You've done every test he's asked you to without complaint. I think that's a huge step toward your recovery, Sirius. Don't give up now."

He contemplated her words for a moment and she saw what she was looking for: the spark of hope, rekindled. "It's good to see you, Lily," he murmured, and the heavy-lidded look lifted slightly. "I'm so happy you came."

Lily laughed, and his world became that much brighter. "I can tell!" she grasped his hand, tugging him to his feet. "I've been given clearance by Dr. Patil to speak with you today and stay with you for a while. I'd rather speak outside than in here." She did not voice the way she hated his sudden lack of his usual vibrancy. He seemed like a totally different person, and in truth, she wanted him to leave the place entirely for good. Wasn't he supposed to be getting better? It seemed like he was only getting worse. She struck that from her mind, asking, "Are you okay with the gardens?"

He seemed to step out of his shell a little more at the suggestion and she was glad for it. The smile she loved most crept onto his face. "_Yes_. I want the hell out of here even for a few moments."

So the two of them left the room and sauntered down the hallway, making a beeline for the front door. Other wards poked their heads out to watch, but the couple paid no attention to them. When Security saw the pair, they made no move to stop them, motioning them past with a casual wave.

Whatever pull Dr. Patil had at this place sure had its benefits.

Once in the open air, the two of them wandered up the winding pathway in silence, hand in hand, far enough so that the majority of the building was out of sight. They stopped just before the front gate, knowing that that was as far as they were going to get.

For Sirius, though, it was just enough.

When they faced each other at last, Sirius bent down to kiss her, long and slow. It was a bittersweet reunion, but everything about their relationship was just that. Funny how they were able to fit the broken pieces of their lives together to make a perfect picture.

"I've missed you," he whispered, upon parting.

"Me too," she whispered back.

He gently reached up to capture the few strands of hair that had come loose and were splayed across her cheeks and forehead. She gave him a wide grin, her green eyes sparkling as he clumsily tried to tuck them into her messy ponytail. Sighing, he gave up, leaning back against the frame of the post to admire his terrible handiwork. "It doesn't matter," he said, defensively. "You're still beautiful, no matter what."

The smile never left her face as he pulled her close to him into a warm hug.

They stayed that way for a while, tangled in each other's embrace, feeding off the warmth of each other's bodies. It was still cold, but Winter had decided to concede defeat and was slowly giving ground to Spring and its warmer temperature. The worst of the season was thankfully over.

"Sirius. What happened?" Lily asked, all serious, now. "Why aren't you cooperating?"

He glanced away, toward the Institution's main building. "You sound like my mother."

She half-smiled, knowing that he was trying to weasel out of it. "Why all of a sudden?" she pressed, not willing to let him take her off-track. "You said things were progressing just fine, didn't you?"

When she met his gaze again, she realized the truth. "You were…lying?"

"Not lying," Sirius quipped, quickly. "Just…I'm not sure anymore." When she let the silence between them stretch, he said, "I don't know if I'm getting any better. The spells…I've had them more times than I can count. It's killing me, Lily." And he meant it. "One day, I fear I won't wake up…"

"No, don't say that." She fumbled with her book bag for a moment, trying to straighten it on her shoulder.

"Josiah – Dr. Patil – I…I told him everything," said Sirius. "And now, he thinks I'm crazy, I know he does!"

She tilted her head up so that she could look at him. "No, he doesn't, Sirius! In fact, he believes he's getting closer to a solution day by day. But it will only work if you tell them what you remember."

The heavy-lidded look returned with a vengeance, and Lily could read a depth of sadness in it that was indescribable. It made her tremble step closer to him. "I would much rather forget."

"That's just it, Sirius. You can't." She took his face in her hands, commanding his attention. "You can't."

His walls were crumbling once again, but this time, he was too tired to put up a fight. With Lily, he reminded himself that he didn't need to hide. "I'd remember if it hurt less. Gods, Lily...why does everything I love have to be taken away from me?" He crushed her against him desperately and she knew from the sobs that were wracking his body that he'd begun to cry.

The redhead glanced over at the building in the distance, wondering just what she'd gotten him into.

"Not everything, love. You still have me."

* * *

**Being brave means showing no weakness**

**But even the strong must cry**

* * *

It must have been top class food, but Lily did not notice.

The well-done steak that was cooked to perfection was tasteless. The potatoes that came with it were like mush, sticking to her throat. Even the water tasted stale. Around the table, servants stood, waiting and watching but she took no notice of them, either.

All in all, a very uncomfortable experience.

Her appetite was zilch.

At the far end of the table, several meters away, sat Orion who was helping himself to the same meal and apparently loving every bite.

"Lily, are you all right? Is the food satisfactory?"

His voice jolted her out of her thoughts. She flinched slightly and raised her head to see that Orion was looking at her worriedly.

She forced herself to swallow whatever it was she had put in her mouth. Were those really green beans? They felt like rubber. It was all she could do not to spit them out into her napkin. They joined the mashed potatoes, clogging her throat and she reached over to sip at her water in hopes that it would force the assortment down.

"Perhaps you would like something else?"

"No, thank you, sir," she squeaked, hunching her shoulders. "It's…fine, really…I…" she trailed off, wondering how she could possibly excuse herself from the table. Lamely, she said, "I'm just tired…"

He nodded. "That is understandable. It must have been a very trying day for you today, what with all your schoolwork and your psychiatry session and having to see Sirius. I take it things didn't go so well?"

How could she tell him that he was doing terribly? It would only make him as disappointed as she was. Putting up a brave front was the only thing she had been able to do for Sirius, so she put it on again for his father. "He's struggling, but in a place like that, it's to be expected. He feels pressured."

"Ah, the boy has always been rather brash," his father said, thoughtfully.

Lily put down her fork. "With all due respect, sir, I think you would want to get out of there as fast as possible, too."

Sirius' parting words to her that day still echoed in her mind, and she felt her heart twist painfully at the remembrance.

_"Please…don't go. Don't leave me here." _

Orion gave her an unreadable look and she felt herself blush slightly. "Whatever you might think, Lily, I _do_ care," he said, quietly. "I worry that Sirius pushes himself too hard when I certainly don't expect him to."

Lily didn't make a move to touch her food again, instead she opted to put her hands around her glass, nervously. "May I speak with you frankly, sir?"

A bemused expression flitted across his face and he gave her a single nod.

She took a deep breath. "If you really think so, why are you pushing him to be someone he's not?"

"I'm afraid I don't follow."

"I heard…I heard that you made him give up his motorcycle," Lily said. She glanced down uneasily when Orion pursed his lips together.

It was a family ordeal, one that she shouldn't get involved in, but she could not help herself. She hated to see Sirius dejected. As it was, he was like a caged animal at the Institute but thinking on it, he was nothing less at home.

Clearly Orion didn't think she had any say in the matter but Lily pressed on. "He tries so hard, sir, to please everyone. But no one ever tries to please him. Don't we ask him to give up too much?"

Her words hung in the air, causing all motion around them to cease completely. The servants stood stock still, paused now in their various positions of work. Their heads had all turned to regard the reaction of their Master. It was rather hard to gage and Lily wondered if she had said too much.

He cleared his throat, and that was all it took for all the workers to quickly and quietly file out. Lily watched them go, now very worried that she had definitely pissed the man off.

And she was now alone with him.

She almost dropped her glass when Orion spoke again. His voice was calm, but there was an underlying anger, and underlying sadness to it. "I told you before: James died because of a motorcycle accident. I won't have Sirius throw his life away carelessly like that, too." He gave her a look that seemed to plead with her. "I can't lose him in the same way. Do you know how dangerous it is?"

Lily answered, "I do, Mr. Black. I've ridden on the back of his motorcycle more than enough times with him." She met his gaze earnestly. "It's terrifying and yet…and yet…" how could she put it into words so that he would understand her? "…I have never felt safer in all my life."

He seemed surprised by her statement and she tried to explain. "He carried me away from my fears, from my insecurities. With that motorcycle, he's never let me down, never once let me fall behind. In short, sir, he saved me." She bit her lip at his furrowed eyebrows and disbelieving frown.

"You're in love," Orion said, "I understand that. But there are sides of love that can cloud your judgment."

"I'm afraid for him," Lily interjected. "I don't think that everything will be okay once he's out of the Institute. In fact, I think it's better for him to stay there than for him to come home because if he comes back here, I'm sure he really will go crazy."

Orion blinked, his expression darkening. "I beg your - "

" – He will feel imprisoned. He will forever pine for something that he will never have." It was hard to say, and she might have overstepped her boundaries, but she didn't care. She would not stand by and watch as the man that she loved sunk deeper and deeper into misery. "He won't ever be happy."

Orion had taken to glancing down at his wedding ring that he still wore around the appointed finger of his left hand. The gold of the band sparkled as he turned it first one way and then another. "This isn't about keeping him happy," he said. "It's about keeping him safe."

Evidently the man was not going to budge in his decision. Lily wanted to get angry. She wanted to argue with him and make him see reason. But at the same time, she understood him perfectly. As a man who had lost so much – too much – it was not hard to see why he wanted to safeguard the one last precious thing to him.

She couldn't help but feel sorry for Orion.

She raised her head to look at him, and he was staring at her, intently. "Sir…do you believe that everyone should try to achieve their dreams?"

"Yes, of course."

"I want to become an artist," she confided to him. "I want to draw the things that I see are beautiful, bold and true."

He smiled, and she saw Sirius in it. "You would make an excellent artist," he agreed with a nod.

She smiled back, some of her tension easing out of her when she did so. "Thank you." She paused, before asking, "Do you know what Sirius' dream is?"

This time, the look he gave her was blank. "No. He's never told me."

"I doubt he would have," she said. "He kept his mouth shut because he wants to make you proud. He wants to save you from disappointment and so he's thrown his dream out the window."

"Has he told you?"

Lily leaned back in her seat, shaking her head slightly. "No. He's never told me, either. But he doesn't have to. I think I know what it is. And…I think you do, too." She saw him set his jaw, not pleased that the topic was still taking this turn. "Don't you think he has every right to try to achieve his dream? Can't we support him in it, even if we don't like it?"

"You would let him put himself into a dangerous situation? You want him to get hurt?"

She shook her head. "No, sir. I would never wish that upon anyone. But I would never take away his choice."

Cornered, Orion could only sit there, at a loss for words.

"Please sir," Lily's voice dropped to a whisper, "think about it."

It was the only way.

The only way to set him free.

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

**AN:**And there we see Lily come to Sirius' defense. And look, no cliffhanger! Well, I hope you enjoyed. I hope this chapter answered a few more questions about Sirius' condition and some questions people might have had concerning Orion. In any case, leave me a review and let me know what you thought. I love hearing from you!

Thanks for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


	31. Accidents Happen

**GENUINE GEMINI by: P.P.V.V.**

_Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim applies…all original characters are mine to claim._

* * *

**AN:** After a grueling month and a half (?) I finally had the time to sit down and write/edit this chapter. I apologize for the delay. A lot happens in this chapter so hang on for the ride and as always, enjoy!

* * *

_Previously: _

_"Sir…" Lily ventured, "do you believe that everyone should try to achieve their dreams?" _

_"Yes, of course."_

_"I want to become an artist," she confided to him. "I want to draw the things that I see are beautiful, bold and true." _

_He smiled, and she saw Sirius in it. "You would make an excellent artist," he agreed with a nod. _

_She smiled back, some of her tension easing out of her when she did so. "Thank you." She paused, before asking, "Do you know what Sirius' dream is?" _

_This time, the look he gave her was blank. "No. He's never told me. Has he told you?" _

_"I think I know what it is. And…I think you do, too." She saw him set his jaw, not pleased that the topic was still taking this turn. "Don't you think he has every right to try to achieve his dream? Can't we support him in it, even if we don't like it?" _

_"You would let him put himself into a dangerous situation? You want him to get hurt?" _

_She shook her head. "No, sir. I would never wish that upon anyone. But I would never take away his choice." _

_Cornered, Orion could only sit there, at a loss for words. _

_"Please sir," she implored, "think about it."_

_It was the only way._

_The only way to set him free._

* * *

**Chapter 31**

**- Accidents Happen -**

This time around, Lily wasn't stopped by any security guards when she entered the Center. It was almost as though they'd been expecting her because they waved her forward toward the back of the first floor. Obediently, she followed their gestures toward an area that was milling with patients dressed in blue-gray uniforms.

A few of them stopped to consider her, but their Healers ushered them away, shooting her their own curious glances. Hovering in the doorway of the brightly lit room and feeling out of place, Lily returned their glances evenly.

She was not here for them. She was here for Sirius and to respond to Dr. Patil's call.

What little courage she'd managed to muster shattered completely at the sound of an all-too familiar, and non-too-welcomed voice. "Lily?"

Goosebumps prickled themselves up and down her arms and she whipped around to face her addresser. She expected to see his usual get up of tight, dark leathers. Instead, she was greeted by the sight of casual attire in the form of a red sweater and jeans. With his hair let loose to frame his face, Don could almost pass as handsome.

Almost.

Instead of being put at ease, she felt herself get defensive at his smile. His eyes raked over her uniform-clad body in a way that Lily felt as if she weren't fully clothed. It was all she could do not to cover her chest with her arms but she kept them at her sides. Questions swam through her head. Had he known she was coming there? Was he following her? She wanted to ask all those questions and more but settled instead on asking, "What are you doing here?" because it seemed to be the most relevant one.

"I should ask the same," he said, wryly. "You know someone who's instated?"

"That's none of your business," she answered, tightly.

He was surprised at her boldness and her hostility. Come to think of it, she'd always treated him with distaste. But this was the first time he witnessed her fiery temper instead of her guarded attempts at courage.

"It's good to see you too," was his wry response. "So you've transferred schools, I see."

She chose not to answer, taking a step back instead.

He spread his hands as was his way to show her that he hadn't meant anything by it, but she flinched at his display of peace and it caused the security surrounding them to bristle. Making a mental note of this, Don retracted his hands and hid them in his pockets. "I think you know why I'm here. And I think you're here for the same reason."

She stubbornly kept her mouth shut.

They were saved from any more hostile small talk because Josiah strode into the room. His white robes, a little too long for him, trailed the floor behind him. He held his hands in front of him, knit together. His face was one of all seriousness, his eyes unreadable. "Miss Evans. It's good to see you again." He swept his gaze toward her companion. "You must be Donovan Verovich. Thank you for taking the time to come out."

"No sweat, Doc," Don quipped. "But I gotta admit, I was surprised. I thought it was a hoax call." Let it be noted that Don dealt with more than enough Motor Clubs and Newspaper Collies than he cared to admit. Most of them were people who wanted to challenge him or just write crap in a tabloid. He'd thought that the Doctor had been part of the latter group.

Dr. Patil did not seem ruffled by his lack of courtesy. Instead, the man dipped his head once. It wasn't every day that people got a call from a Mental Institute after all. Lily distinctly remembered Don's words to her from what seemed like a lifetime ago.

_Why don't you ask him where he has been for the last three years?_

So Don had known that Sirius had been here before. He'd tried to tell her. What else did he know?

"I couldn't divulge much over the phone. Patient confidentiality," Josiah said, leading them away. Don fell into step beside him while Lily contented herself by staying a few paces behind them.

"Does Sirius know we're here?" Don asked, and she caught the inclusive pronoun in his question, adding her into the conversation even though she opted to stay silent. From the tone of his voice, she guessed that he highly doubted it.

She doubted it, too.

Josiah's face gained a pinched look. "I had no other choice," he said, almost apologetically. Lily felt her brow twitch at that. It looked like patient confidentiality was being overlooked anyway. She held her tongue and glared at the Healer's back, instead.

"I didn't think so," Don said with a shake of his head.

Unable to keep quiet any longer, Lily said, "He wouldn't want you here. He'll be terribly upset if he finds out - "

"-Which is why I called you here to act as a buffer just in case," Josiah admitted, opening a door and letting them through. It was a simple chamber, containing a bed, a desk and a few chairs. It was both his office and quarters it looked like. Somehow, Lily felt like she was intruding and she glanced at the door behind them nervously. The last thing she wanted was to be holed up in a room with men. Especially Don.

"I'll keep this open, if you don't mind," Josiah announced, motioning for the two of them to take a seat. Whether he knew Lily's story or if he had caught onto her surreptitious look, she could not tell. He gave her a small smile that Don did not catch because he was too busy throwing himself into the only leather seat available.

Josiah didn't seem to care, moving over to his desk to prop himself against it. Lily slowly slid into her own metal folding chair, balancing her bag against her knees in nervous anticipation.

"Do you mind if I light one up?" Don asked, waving a small blue and white box.

"It's non-smoking property."

The boy made a disappointed sound before stuffing the cigarettes back into the pouch pocket of his sweater. "So what did you want to talk to us about, then?" he asked, irritably, his bantering swagger put away for the moment.

"I am trying to find a cure for Sirius," Josiah began, but he was cut off by a snort from Don.

"Don't waste your time, Doc," he sneered. Lily turned to glare at him. "You can't cure him."

Lily expected the Doctor to scold him, to put him in his place. But instead, she was surprised to see Josiah concede with another one of his nods. "I can't move forward if I don't have a basis with which to work," he said, by way of explanation. From the sigh in his tone, she could tell that he was frustrated.

"Any method you try is going to be useless," Don told him, confidently. "There's only one way he can overcome his fear."

Lily sniffed, "And you know it?"

He gave her a wink and she winced. "Don't believe me, sweetheart?"

Somehow, the endearment from him didn't sound half as alluring as it did when Sirius said it. In fact, it made her goosebumps rise again. "Of course not. Sirius once told me that he doesn't want anything to do with you."

Don scowled. "You're basing things off of _his_ feelings? For your information, it's not me he hates – it's the memories that come along with me that he can't stand. The guy's a fucking idiot. I'm only trying to help him."

Lily felt her cheeks warm and she narrowed her eyes.

Josiah decided to intervene then, most probably to keep them from arguing any further. He stood up straighter, catching both of their attentions. "How exactly are you trying to do that?" he asked. "I can't get the story of out Sirius no matter what method I try. If he can't give me that, he'll never overcome his problem."

Don swung his legs up and over, resting the back of his knees against the armrest of the chair. If he was trying to get the doctor riled up, he was not succeeding because Josiah's face remained as impassive as ever. "So you want me to tell you?"

"Please."

For a long time, Don remained silent, a faraway look to his eyes. When a grimace crossed his face, Lily was certain he would finally refuse. She caught her breath when, without any preamble, he launched straight into the tale.

**0-0-0-0-0**

It was disgustingly hot but at least there were no crowded bodies pressing against each other. The sun beat down against the two teams that were gathered and there was a fuzzy haze to the air, giving off the feeling of being enclosed in a tight, rather unwelcome, hug.

Dressed in his riding leathers, Sirius stepped off his bike, wishing for all he was worth that he could change into something a bit less stifling. His clothes were sticking to him like a second skin and he was more than uncomfortable.

It was the day of the big race with Verovich.

The auditions the week before had been a huge success. Yaxley hadn't been recruited onto the Marauders, unfortunately, but he had gotten sponsors for Rude's team because of his performance. Where last week the stands had been full of spectators and other Motor Teams, today was eerily quiet.

There would only be one race today, and that one would not include Sirius.

As if reading his mind, Don came storming over, looking like a black wraith in his own leathers, his helmet tucked under his arm, a look of pure rage on his features.

"Tell me that you're shitting me, Sirius Black!"

Sirius tried to hide his wince, but was unable to. He struggled to keep his face void of all emotion. "Don, look, I meant to tell you - "

"The deal's off!" Don spat. "I wasn't supposed to race against just any an amateur – a _spare_ – from Rude's team. It's you or no one."

"James is a spare, but he's good," Sirius said, defensively. "All I'm asking is for you to give him a shot, Verovich. He really wants to race against you."

"Tell him to get in line," Don made to turn his heel but Sirius quickly reached out to grasp his arm.

"Are you chicken shit?" He taunted. "Afraid to take on another amateur?"

Don rose to the bait, giving Sirius the most baleful look that the boy instinctively let go of his arm. "I'm not afraid of anyone. If anything, I should be saying that about _you_, dropping out on a deal like this. I agreed to race you because of what you can do. Not because of what James can do."

"Then race me afterwards," Sirius said. "If you're as serious as you say you are, you won't rest until you've faced me, right? So, do me this favor and I'll give you the best performance I've ever given in my life."

Don shrugged his shoulders as if to straighten his clothing before huffing, "You'd better, Sirius. Or I will hunt you down until our deal's been done, got it?"

"You have my word. I won't back away from the race." He even raised his hand to show his scout's honor and Verovich narrowed his eyes before stalking away to his vehicle once more.

James, who was seated a little ways away from them, had heard the whole exchange and was nervously toying with the pendant that Sirius had given to him long ago.

Sirius ambled up to him, fumbling for a handkerchief which he promptly tossed to James. "Here. Wipe your glasses. The roads look dusty and you'll need every bit of visibility you can get."

James did as he was told, his shaking fingers telling Sirius that his brother was more than apprehensive – or maybe he was giddy over the prospect of racing a pro. After all, one didn't get to challenge the person they idolized every day.

It seemed like only yesterday that they had watched their first race on television; joined the motor club; gotten their own bikes. Luck was on their side to have gotten this far. They might have been together through the whole ordeal, but even as they stood side by side now, it felt as though there was a great gulf dividing them from each other.

"About the other day…" said James slowly, "sorry about all that shit I said, Padfoot."

Sirius clenched his teeth and fought down the humiliation he'd had to suffer on James' behalf. He was forever going out on a limb for his brother. This would be the last time, he promised. "I know. But you're representing us, Prongs. If you fall, I fall too."

"Maybe this isn't such a good…"

"After all your bravado and smart talk you're backing out now?" Sirius couldn't help his sneer. "No. You go out there and do this, James Potter. You go out there and race the way you've always wanted to. If you really want to show me up, now's your chance. Don't you dare run away from this race with your tail between your legs."

James straightened and slipped his glasses back onto his face. "You're a right git, do you know that?"

Sirius gave him a half-hearted smile. "Yeah, I do."

James returned it before bending over to brace himself against his machine. In a quiet murmur, he said, "You know…If it was possible, I wish I had never met you…"

A lump hit Sirius' throat then, because truth be told, he had been thinking the same thing. Unable to do anything but nod, he let James take that non-committal gesture however he wanted to. Stepping away from him, he knew that something in their relationship had changed. No matter how many apologies, no matter how much time would pass, they would never be the same.

The words had been said, and no amount of wishing would ever take them back.

Sirius forced himself to go back to his motorcycle and he bent over it, absently starting to do a routine check on all its parts. If James really did crash and burn, then Sirius would have to save face for the both of them.

For a while, he contented himself with the familiar motions of ensuring that his motorcycle would be fit as a fiddle. Then he heard James speaking with Verovich. What they were saying, he could not make out, but he had the feeling that at any moment the race would begin.

Brushing the sweat from his brow, Sirus hurried to the track along with his team, bringing his motorcycle with him and parking alongside his other team members.

Rude and Yaxley were conferring with each other in hushed tones and from the look on the former's face, he didn't seem very confident about the outcome of the race. "What do you think, Black? Your brother going to do okay?"

"He'll be just fine," Sirius said, but there was a knot in his stomach at the thought of James' disappointment if he lost. Everyone seemed to be thinking along the same lines because they said no more on the matter, turning to watch as the racers got onto their bikes and moved toward the starting line.

The track stretched wide and long, and as Rude went forward to give a few pointers to James, Sirius did a mental take of the given route. If James could round the corners without slowing speed, he'd cut his time significantly. The problem was that doing so was extremely dangerous, especially at the velocity that they'd be going at. It could completely wipe the rider out if he didn't have control of his bike.

The other option was to stay inner lane, but again, that would mean taking sharp turns and staying close to the ground, two things that even Sirius was having trouble with.

He could also gun it after every turn and risk having his bike stall. Even if turning the corners at a slower speed would lose him a precious amount of time, James could potentially make up for it if he could keep his bike ahead in the stretches.

Someone from The Marauders, introducing himself as Matt, hurried to the front and started calling out the conditions. "Two laps. There will be no pit stops and a handicap of fifteen seconds."

"No handicaps," James interrupted.

Everyone turned to face him incredulously.

"But Potter - " Yaxley started to hiss, but James shook his head, causing the wind to ruffle his already messy hair.

"I said no handicaps."

Sirius frowned, "James - "

"I _said_ no handicaps."

Matt coughed uneasily, glancing at his team mates who had begun to snigger. At a nod from Don, he reluctantly said, "All right then…two laps, no pit stops and…no handicaps. Are the riders ready?"

In response, Don shoved his helmet on and snapped it into place. James met Sirius' gaze before copying the motion and bending forward on his bike.

Matt hesitated for a moment before raising his hand. It grasped a single red flag. "Timer's on your mark, get set…" and the flag went down.

Sirius watched as Donovan shot off effortlessly. James skidded momentarily before shooting off after him a scant moment later.

"The kid is almost as crazy as you," Rude sighed, and it caused Sirius to smile slightly. "He's already behind by a full five seconds. He'll have to make up for it on his second pass."

"As long as he doesn't try to pull any tricks he's never tried before," Sirius said, with a nod.

Rude made a disbelieving sound before using his binoculars to get a better view of the race.

Despite the heat, Sirius began to feel cold. He couldn't help but fear for James – riding was dangerous. To ride carelessly now would be completely foolish. He hoped James wasn't planning on doing something stupid. In his gloves, he could feel his fingers start to tingle and he realized it was because of the way he was holding his breath.

It became apparent that James was nowhere near the level of Donovan because the gap between the two became wider and wider. James, unaccustomed to riding at a greater speed, could not catch up.

As the second lap drew to a close with Donovan well in the lead, James did something that surprised everyone. Gripping his handlebars, the boy skid the corner well before he reached it, managing to cut his time by a few seconds bringing him a foot closer to Don than he had been previously. The foolhardy move nearly caused him to be thrown from his seat but he held on.

Just as Sirius thought would happen, the boy's vehicle stalled.

The bold move caused even Don to slow his speed and turn to watch.

"You idiot!" Sirius screamed, not the least bit impressed at his brother's recklessness. It was a move that Pros liked to pull but they had had years to perfect it. What the hell was James thinking? His voice was drowned out by the roar of the motorcycles' engines and feeling himself grow colder, Sirius watched as Donovan crossed the finish line, ahead by more than two minutes.

James had lost.

But to everyone's surprise, James did not slow down. Instead, he sped up, his motorcycle eliciting a growl that pierced the afternoon air and caused the fine hairs on Sirius' arms to stand on end. "What the heck does Potter think he's doing?" Rude seethed as they watched him approach the next turn.

_Oh…_

_Oh no…_

Instinctively, Sirius knew that James, ever so stubborn, would try the same trick again. But since he was moving forward at too wide a pace, there would be no way to make it work again and keep the bike in his control. He'd wipe out and maybe even injure himself.

Feeling lightheaded, Sirius felt as if time seemed to slow to a crawl. Skidding the corner, James's front tire twisted, not quite able to grasp the floor at the desired angle, causing the bike to fold in on itself and spin. The back wheel kicked up a trail of dust as the bike hit the ground hard and hurtled toward the sideboards, dragging the unfortunate rider along with it.

Before it could smash into the ramparts, both teams were moving, racing toward him with a sense of urgency. Sirius followed automatically, feeling as though he were watching himself from afar. He heard himself shouting, but he couldn't for the life of him make out what it was he was saying.

Maybe James' name.

The bike smashed into the metal boards with an earsplitting crack. Dust and dirt and plaster and smoke filled the air with a puff, the smell of rubber and gasoline mixing together. Don was the first one to the scene, with Sirius close on his tail, pulling ahead of the rest of the motorcycles.

Kicking their stands down, neither bothered to turn their ignitions off, running toward the scene.

"Oh my god! Oh my god, James! James!" Sirius screamed.

"Holy shit, he's buried," Don shouted. "Connor! _Connor_! Call an ambulance!"

There was a trail of blood mixed in with tire marks on the floor. Sirius began to tremble as he and Donovan tried to lift the heavy, damaged vehicle off him.

James was moving slightly, his voice was barely audible under his helmet as he tried to thrash under the vehicle. Reaching out with shaky hands, Sirius undid the clasp and lifted it clear.

"Siri…Siri…!" James' face was covered in blood, but his skin was white.

So _white_. "Sirius…help me!"

"D-don't move, James," Sirius ordered. "We'll get this off. Oh god, we'll get this off."

They pushed, pulled and tugged, James' screams ripping the air. Sirius wasn't sure when the others arrived but by that time, James had gone strangely quiet.

"Fuck. Fuck. _Fuck_!" Connor hissed. His face was scrunched up in the exertion. He and Donovan tried pulling at the scrap metal again but to no avail.

"Verovich, the bike's leaking!" Yaxley, who had gone around to the other side, cried.

Sirius' mind went blank as he glanced at the smashed vehicle. At the battered and broken body of his brother. The scene, in short, was gruesome. Urgency was replaced with dread and it was all he could do not to throw up right then and there.

He was aware of the sound of sirens, the wailing loud and ominous. He was aware of the fact that everyone had taken two steps back giving Sirius the space he needed to be with his brother in the last moments of life.

He was aware of the fact that he was staring at death.

"Too…too late," James breathed, a trickle of blood making its way down his chin from the corner of his mouth. "Too…late…"

With a wail, Sirius threw himself to his knees. "No, James. No. Don't talk like that. Y-you'll be f…fine…" but even as he said the words, he knew he was lying. "I'll get this off!"

"I…lost…" his brother acknowledged.

"You were close," Sirius sobbed, grabbing his brother's hand.

A chuckle took up a good portion of whatever breath James had left. "Liar…" he tried to lift his head but was unable to. Tears mixed in with the blood. "There's nothing…anyone can do…"

The words were hot and burning, like the crushed vehicle that separated them. Despite the fact that it had begun to sear at his skin, Sirius never let go of his brother's hand.

He felt someone tug his shoulder. "Sirius, come on, the bike's gonna explode."

Sirius wrenched himself free. "No! I won't! I'm getting him out."

James coughed twice, the sound wet and hacking. "Sirius…I'm so sorry…"

"James, what are you saying?" Sirius' voice had risen to a shout. "Don't leave me. Don't. Don't. Please, don't."

His brother actually smiled. In it, Sirius could read that all hope was lost and that James had accepted that fact. "I won't. Ever. Promise…Sirius. Don't forget me."

The sirens did not cut off as the ambulance slid to a halt and the crew jumped out. Paramedics were halfway to the scene when the bike suddenly let out a horrific bang, throwing Sirius several feet back. He hit the pavement so hard that his peripheral vision turned dark. He screamed in agony, but it wasn't the pain of the wound that ripped itself open on his chest that hurt him the most.

It was the pain of the realization that James was dead.

And it had all been his fault.

He was glad – so glad - that darkness came up to claim him. He embraced it desperately. Willingly.

There, he would not have to face the guilt.

There, he would not have to face reality.

* * *

**If even one piece of the puzzle is missing**

**It renders the work incomplete**

* * *

Lily stood outside, watching the rain fall. While it wasn't coming down in torrents, she knew that she would be soaked by the time she made it to the gate. Her eyes weren't really seeing the rain, though. They were unfocused as she thought back on the story that Don had told them.

It was sad.

_I've lived…every day in regret…_

Sirius' words whispered in the wind, echoing in her mind.

She wanted to cry on his behalf, to tell him that it wasn't his fault, but she was certain that he'd heard that a million times. It was more than obvious that he blamed himself for letting James get himself into that type of situation.

She remembered his expression when Jared had invited her along to the racetrack months ago, the neutral tone of his voice when he'd flatly refused.

When Don spoke from behind her, Lily gasped. Her skin, already puckered from the cold, tingled in response to his silent approach. "Sorry sweetheart," he said, a slight mocking smile on his lips.

She growled, "Don't call me that."

He blinked, clearly surprised at the anger behind her voice. It was just as fierce as the fire in her eyes. He remembered last minute that she did not take to his hand gestures kindly and he kept them stuffed in his pockets. But he'd be damned if a little girl made him lose his nerve so he did not drop his cocky attitude.

"I wasn't lying when I told you that your boyfriend is messed up in here," he cocked his head to the side, emphasizing the last word.

Lily stiffened at his implication. "He's not crazy."

"Everyone else thinks he is," Don told her, unrelentingly. "Dr. Patil just finished telling me that if things don't get better any time soon, they'll admit him to the topmost floors." He bent down and whispered in a loud, conspiring manner, "That's where they keep all the hopeless cases. Make them all comfortable until the end."

…until the end?

She felt her hands clench and she dearly wanted to tell him to shut up, but her tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth at his proximity. Don didn't seem to notice her discomfort because he continued to drawl, "But then again, that doesn't really affect you, does it? You're not the one who will be locked away forever. While he's in here rotting, you'll be enjoying the riches that he's supposed to inherit."

Unable to do anything but stare at him in disbelief, Lily felt a sort of rage come over her at his words. Unfortunately the man did not know when to stop. "I hear you're staying with his loaded father. You scored a good one. I guess you can overcome Sirius' condition because of that, huh?"

Her reaction was sudden; almost automatic. The sound of flesh hitting flesh was so loud that even the sound of the rain could not drown it out. In fact, it seemed to amplify it, carrying it out over the sodden grounds of the Institution. Lily slapped him hard – so hard, in fact, that his head whipped to the side, and her hand smarted painfully from the contact.

Don seemed to be in shock because instead of straightening up right away, he stayed in the crouched position that he'd been forced into. From the side, Lily could make out the whites of his eyes.

Chest heaving in ire, she hissed, "I think you should leave."

His jaw worked. "Wait, Evans, I - "

"-Leave, Don," was the curt, teeth-gritted order. "Leave us _both _alone. I think I can speak on Sirius' behalf and say that we don't want to have anything to do with you."

Without waiting for his response, she turned her heel and, heedless of the rain, ran out toward the front gate where a black car sat waiting for her.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Bellatrix was gorgeous, as usual.

Posed on top of a motorcycle, tight leathers that accentuated every curve a woman could possess, hugged her body. She most definitely looked the part of the racer even though Lily knew that that profession was the last thing she knew about. Her eyes, which were not quite focused on the camera, held a challenging stare, a _catch-me-if-you-can_ look. It was almost not fair how she could fit into Sirius' world so easily if she chose to.

Staring down at the magazine in her hands, Lily found herself missing the biting sarcasm and snide tone of the woman; her friend, if she could stretch it that far… In any case, seeing her in such a way made her breath catch in both doubt and envy. Envy because Lily knew that _she_ would not do the photo any justice at all had it been her doing the modeling. Doubt because seeing Bellatrix posed on a motorcycle made her seem like the perfect match for someone like Sirius compared to her.

Don's words from the other day echoed in her mind as a painful reminder of the real differences between them, the meaning glaringly obvious.

He thought she was using Sirius.

Lily felt that anger rush forward at the very remembrance. If she could slap Don again, she would.

_"Don't you see her tactics, Sirius? She pretends to be innocent and frightened, but she really is another whore who is hoping you will fuck her!"_ Even Bellatrix had doubted her motives from back then.

The feeling of uncertainty rose. Lily knew that Sirius didn't see her as that type of girl but she couldn't help comparing herself to the depiction of the perfect woman on the front cover of the magazine she was staring at.

It was an advertisement for Charlie's shop, apparently, when she took a closer look. He must have paid a pretty penny to get it on the front cover. She found herself admiring the motorcycle. It abruptly reminded her of Sirius and she was suddenly struck with inspiration.

Just as she was going to reach over and grab her stencils, Severus swept into the room, his open uniform blazer flapping behind him in an attempt to keep up with his long strides. He was arguing (as usual) with Alice.

Over the course of her stay at the school, Lily had grown accustomed to seeing them bicker. They reminded her of old friends, which they both swore vehemently they weren't and never would be. But Lily knew better and every time she saw Snape curl his lip into a sneer at his too-skinny companion, she could detect a sort of tenderness in his eyes. That light was in his eyes now as he proceeded to scold her. "Your idiocy positively astounds me, Wellington," he was saying. "Has it never occurred to you to perhaps be a little more prudent?"

"You've got to lighten up a little, Snape," Alice responded, a lilting laugh in her voice. She was skipping at his side, easily matching his gait. "I was just helping."

"I hope you don't make helping _complete strangers_ a habit," Snape told her, gravely. "You've got to practice a bit more caution."

"I won't do it again, then, is that what you want to hear?" Alice waved away his concern, no conviction in her voice whatsoever.

Lily couldn't agree with Severus more. Unable to help herself, she asked, "Strangers?"

Alice flashed her a brilliant grin as they came to a stop by her desk. Where she was able to get that much energy at the beginning of the day was beyond Lily (and Severus apparently, because he grunted with a shake of his head at her antics). "That's right! Got you some mail, Evans. Somebody said that they've been trying to get it to you, but it's always bouncing back to them. Guess it's important if he made his way all the way out here." With a flourish, she proceeded to hand Lily a brown envelope.

Mail?

Lily wondered who it was from. It was not as if she had told anyone her whereabouts. She and Sirius had even gone so far as to keep that information from the people who had tried their best to help them. She had no other friends she could think of and she'd just been at the Institute the other day. If they'd wanted to give something to her, they could have done so while she'd been present.

Taking it from her, Lily was surprised at its size and weight. Inside was surely more than just a letter. She glanced down at the writing and momentarily forgot the fact that she was at school, surrounded by people.

On the front of the package, her name had been written in strong strokes. Beneath it, the address and telephone number were ones that Lily had never heard of before. A single slash crossed everything out, indicating them as invalid. In the top left hand corner, her uncle's name and address had been included, circled twice with a red marker, the words "return to sender" written in the same red colored ink.

To the average person, it looked like nothing more than a mistake.

But Lily knew it for what it was.

It was a message.

_"I've found you." _

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

**AN:** This chapter wasn't easy to write at all. I finally settled on a rendition to The Accident that I thought was passable. Tell me what you thought of it, please! Hopefully the next chapter won't be long in coming. Have a great summer everyone!

Thanks for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


	32. Cornered

**GENUINE GEMINI By: P.P.V.V. **

_Disclaimer: The Standard Disclaim applies…all original characters are mine to claim._

* * *

**AN**: Hello, everyone! I'm back. I didn't mean to disappear off this fandom, but for a while, I sat uninspired. Well, actually, _inspired_ but unable to write down my thoughts and ideas. I haven't forgotten this story though and I chew on scenarios every now and then trying to tweak them enough to make the story work. Anyway, forgive me for being so late.

Here's the next chapter and…please remember that old habits die hard.

* * *

_Previously: _

_Alice flourished a package, brown in color. "I've got you some mail, Evans. Somebody said that they've been trying to get it to you, but it's always bouncing back to them. Guess it's important if he made his way all the way out here." _

_Mail?_

_Taking it from her, Lily was surprised at its size and weight. Inside was surely more than just a letter. She glanced down at the writing and momentarily forgot the fact that she was at school, surrounded by people._

_On the front of the package, her name had been written in strong strokes. Beneath it, the address and telephone number were ones that Lily had never heard of before. A single slash crossed everything out, indicating them as invalid. In the top left hand corner, her uncle's name and address had been included, circled twice with a red marker, the words "return to sender" written in the same red colored ink._

_To the average person, it looked like nothing more than a mistake._

_But Lily knew it for what it was._

_It was a message._

_**"I've found you."**_

* * *

**Chapter 32**

**- Cornered - **

Severus' face stared out at her on the page. Black and white and grainy, there was a feel to the picture that was both terrifying and yet, riveting. Lily had always known he would make for a good artistic subject, and however morbid the thought was at the moment, she could not help but pat her back in congratulations over the fact that she had been right.

At the forefront of her mind, however, the right reaction was taking place.

Fear.

In the picture, Severus' eyes, usually scrutinizing, were brooding, almost as though he knew someone was taking a photo of him.

Lily's shaking hands flipped to the next picture which was of Alice. Unlike Severus, she seemed completely unaware of the photographer. As always, a smile adorned her lips. She was always the center of attention not because she was beautiful and haughty the way Bellatrix was, but because she exuded such a charming personality that people couldn't help but be drawn to her. The picture depicted other students that were crowded around her, but their faces were not as distinguishable. It was as if the photographer wanted to make Alice as prominent as possible.

The next photo should not have surprised Lily, but it did anyway when she caught sight of it. Her own face, staring off to the side was captured. She had the fleeting thought that she would never make a good model. What she was looking at, Lily did not know. It was obviously a candid shot and so were the next few that she leafed through. As she did so, she could feel her fingers turning numb.

The worst was the very last photo.

Sirius was striking, overshadowing Severus' qualifications as an art subject by miles. He was standing against a gate and in the background was herself, talking to him. Whoever it was that had taken the photo had followed her all the way to the Institute.

_Please, if there is a God, spare him,_ she thought. _Not_ _him…anyone but him…_ she knew what her Uncle was like. He would stop at nothing to get her back. After what Sirius had done to him, there was no question that he would do everything in his power to get revenge.

The photos were obviously not taken at the same time, nor in the same place. The person that had been hired stalked her everywhere. And whoever it was had been cleverly hidden, cleverly distanced.

He or she had not made a move until now.

Perhaps they had been waiting for a time when her security guards were not with her. But on Orion's strict orders, they were with her everywhere she went.

Heartsick, Lily shoved them back into the envelope they had come from and leaned against her locker door. Panic, a feeling that had been absent from her life for the last couple of months, started to settle in thick once again.

She hadn't wanted to open the package in front of her friends and she was glad that she'd chosen not to. Clearly, her Uncle knew who she associated with; who he could use as leverage against her.

_**Return to sender.**_

The words seemed to scream at her from the front of the envelope. She was tempted to throw the whole package into the rubbish bin, but she didn't. The address and telephone number under her name were signs and as much as she hated it, she knew exactly what her uncle wanted. It was more than just a message. It presented a threat. If Lily did not return to Perry, he would use any means to hurt her friends. And unlike her, her friends did not have constant protection.

Lily didn't want to involve anyone else. Maybe it had been too much to ask to live a normal life. Maybe it had been foolish of her to hope that she would have a happy ending.

That she could be rescued.

No…her superhero was not even capable of helping himself. They both selfishly relied on his father with nothing to give in return.

If Orion did ask for something, Lily would be forever in his debt and she was loath to think of what he might have her do to pay him back. He'd been so gracious to her and she was grateful for it, but she hated the overwhelming feeling of being a burden and a freeloader.

It was suffocating.

Dread built in her stomach and she desperately clutched at it.

What was she going to do?

* * *

**And you embrace the worst**

**Because it's often the most familiar**

* * *

"Good to see you back."

Hesitating, hunched as though unsure of whether he should continue to hover in the doorway or sit down, Sirius stood there. To his absolute disgust, he was shaking.

Josiah either pretended he didn't notice or he really didn't care because the man pushed away from his desk to roll to a stop before his coffee pot. Wordlessly, he lifted a mug to Sirius with a raised eyebrow.

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Sirius stared at him, hollowly. "I'd rather have a cigarette."

"I can't help you there," said the doctor, wryly.

Sirius considered it for a moment but decided against it. His nerves were already jumping all over the place. If they continued to rattle, he'd fall apart and he didn't want that. Caffeine would probably make it worse. He held up a hand to decline the offer.

Josiah shrugged and poured himself a glass. "You don't have to make it hard for yourself," he said, after appraising his patient. "I don't see why you don't take your antidepressants."

"They don't work," Sirius told him. He finally made up his mind and crossed the room to plop himself down on the closest seat, forgoing the bed all together. If he lay down, he'd fall asleep for sure, especially with the way he had missed sleep for the last three or four days. Each day seemed to be rolling into each other in one massive blur. The last thing he needed today was to fall into another spell.

Josiah smirked, toasting him with his mug of coffee. "So what _does _work?"

So he wanted to be a bastard, did he? As the doctor raised the glass to his lips and took a sip, Sirius gave him a challenging smirk right back. "Good sex."

And the man nearly spit the coffee out all over the table in front of him. He ended up in a coughing fit which had Sirius laughing out loud. When Josiah managed to get his breath and bearing back, he said, "I should have let Miss Evans stay for a bit longer, then."

"That would have been nice," Sirius said, honestly. "But you wouldn't have been invited to our session."

Josiah held up both hands.

Sirius found himself laughing again.

The guy wasn't so bad.

When he was offered a cup of coffee again, Sirius took it with a sigh. "I'm still mad at you for letting me miss her last visit all together. Seeing Lily nowadays is rare, you know."

"You were sleeping. And by the looks of it, you needed it very badly, indeed," was the doctor's reply. "You still do, in fact."

"I'm trying, Doctor," Sirius was bordering on whining. He sounded positively miserable.

Josiah got up and moved toward his desk to retrieve Sirius' file. "Have you had a spell in the last 24 hours?"

Sirius did not look up at him, gulping down the coffee like water, despite the fact that it was still piping hot. His nerves be damned – nothing would calm him down anyway. "No."

"That's great. According to your charts, then, the last one was almost a week ago which is a good sign."

This time, Sirius shot him a skeptical glance. "Really?"

"It would be even better if you could tell me what your last memory was about." When his charge did not answer right away, Josiah added, "If you remember it, that is…"

Sirius thought back and shivered inwardly. He checked his breathing before shaking his head, too scared that he would trip the lock holding the door to his memories shut. As it was, he was toeing the line already.

_No, I don't want to remember… _

The doctor hedged, "No, you can't tell me, or no you can't remember?"

Not bothering to try and mask his emotions, Sirius pleaded, "I remember. Doctor, is there some way you can erase it? Erase it all?"

"You're not a machine, Sirius," Josiah told him, gently. "Humans have memory because we can learn from them, good or bad."

"I'm not learning how to do anything but hurt myself."

Josiah gave him a pointed look. "Which is exactly why I've been called to help you."

Sirius returned him a sour grimace that seemed to say it all: _you aren't helping me fast enough. _

"I know you've heard it a million times, but it takes time. If you really want to get better, you need to get over your fear. Not forget it."

The boy leaned over to put his now-empty mug onto the desk where the papers were not as scattered. He would have dropped it had he still been holding it because of Josiah's next words. "About what happened on that day of the accident… Sirius, I'm sorry for your loss.."

Sirius noted how the doctor had avoided saying James' name. He could feel his chest tightening at his knowing tone. "How?" he breathed the question, already light-headed.

Josiah confessed, "Your father managed to keep the incident clear off the reports. I was having trouble getting the information so I had Verovich tell me."

"Don…"

"Sirius, focus," Josiah commanded, seeing the boy's chest start to heave in what seemed like agitation. "It wasn't his fault any more than it was yours."

"It _was_ my fault!" Sirius told him. "If I hadn't insisted…if I had just told him…if I had taken his place..."

"Regretting won't help you in this situation," Josiah said, patiently. "Regretting will only hold you back from your true problem. Blaming yourself won't help bring James back, you know."

Sirius scowled. What the hell was he assuming things for? Running his fingers through his hair, he took huge breaths, trying to ignore the throbbing of his chest. "James probably blames me," he said, bleakly. "That's why - "

"-That's why you see him in the mirror looking back at you?" Josiah guessed. Sirius was glad he did so because he was starting to see black around the edges of his vision. He fought against it, trying to keep focused. He took slower breaths, counting them.

There was a moment of silence as Josiah allowed Sirius to gather his bearing. This session was turning out to be very odd indeed. As always, he made a note of how his patient was faring. He was pale and there were dark circles under his eyes proof of stressful and sleepless nights. It wasn't fair that despite his appearance – bedraggled, in the light blue garb that all the patients wore - he was still so painfully handsome. He suspected that the boy could make a bathrobe look good.

Aside from his appearance, he had a defeated air to him. Yet Josiah was amazed at the boy's resiliency. The doctor had lost track of how many patients just like him had committed suicide.

If he didn't know any better, Sirius was close to doing it.

Maybe he'd even contemplated it.

In any case, he had come to a conclusion. This condition was triggered not specifically by the memories that the variables brought on, but by the emotions that were attached to the stimuli. That would explain his aversion to hospitals and to the smell of gasoline – two things that he associated to the horror of the death of his brother.

It also explained his animosity toward Verovich, who had been present at the scene and therefore, was associated with it in Sirius' mind.

Before he could lose that train of thought, he brought out a fresh piece of paper and wrote it down. "I think that you should go home and relax," Josiah announced, upon finishing. Sirius' dark head rose in disbelief. "You've earned it and I'm sure it will be good for you. You need some time away."

"Are you serious?" he demanded. "I can leave this place?"

"For a while. I'll write you off for three days," Josiah said, feeling a smile come to his lips at Sirius' sudden change of countenance. He was glad to see the boy's spirits lift at the news. "In the meantime, I'll leave you with this thought: you shouldn't blame yourself for James' recklessness. He made his decision, just like you've made yours."

Sirius pushed his hair back again, propping one foot up onto the seat right afterward. "Made mine?"

"To move forward," Josiah said, gesturing with his pen. "You can't live in the past forever, Sirius."

The boy was silent for a long time, and when he spoke, his voice was heavy with sadness. "I promised him I would never forget him."

This time, Josiah did grin. Little did Sirius know that he had rattled off a memory without even blinking an eye. "No one said you had to."

**0-0-0-0-0**

The inside of the stalls of the washroom were decorated with graffiti. Names that Lily did not recognize were written in different colored ink, in different scrawls and were used in different situations. Her eyes saw past all of it though, skimming over them momentarily without any interest.

They strayed back to the phone's lit screen where the words _Calling Sirius_ blinked at her merrily.

If she could just hear his voice…

Goosebumps prickled up her arms at the thought of him picking up. She slammed the phone shut and the device clicked, almost as if in annoyance at her rough handling.

What was she thinking?

She couldn't go crying to Sirius over this – he was stressed enough as it was. With all his current problems and his state of mind, he would be nothing short of troubled. And what could he possibly do for her being all the way in the Institute? Besides, she did not want to draw any more attention to him. If she did what she was expected to do, he would be left alone.

He had to concentrate on getting better, not on her problems and insecurities.

It was time to face her fears instead of running away from them.

With resignation, she dialed the right number this time and had to stop herself from slamming the phone shut again when the person she hated the most in the world answered. Shivers of revulsion ran up and down her spine.

"It's about time you called," her Uncle drawled.

Lily had difficulty breathing. "What do you want me to do…?"

His chuckle was as oily as the rest of him. "Come home, sweetheart. You've been away for too long. I've missed you."

If she thought that Don's use of the pet name was bad, this was the pinnacle of disgusting. She was tempted to hang up after all, but thought of the photos that had been in the envelope. "I can't," was all she could think of to say.

"You're a clever girl," Perry said, and Lily could practically see his snake-like smile. "You and your little crazy boyfriend thought you could hide, did you? Come home like a good kid and I won't have to hurt anyone."

Lily felt her world falling apart. "You wouldn't dare."

"You doubt me?" Perry's voice was starting to lose its pleasant tone. This was about the time that he would turn violent if Lily was with him in person. "You think I can't?"

Feeling braver than she actually was, Lily spat, "You won't be able to touch them. This school has tight security. We're safe behind its walls."

"Yeah? Then what about your little model friend? She doesn't go to your school." Her blood froze at his leering tone. "She does look simply delicious."

Bellatrix.

He continued, cutting through the millions of questions that were running through her mind. "I could go into detail on what I've got planned for her. When I'm done she'll -"

"-Don't!" shrieked Lily. She knew exactly what her Uncle and his cronies would do. She couldn't bear that kind of punishment happening to someone else. "Don't!" She wanted to scream but she choked it down. "I'll… I'll do whatever you want. Just leave them alone." Her tears had come on strong now, affecting her voice, muffling it so that it was lower than normal. "Please, Uncle Perry, leave them out of it…"

His voice became sugary again; satisfied. "That's my girl. I knew you'd see reason. And like I said, you're clever. I'm sure you can find a way around those annoying guards you have posted at every corner."

Raggedly, Lily took in a breath. "What if I can't?"

"You have until 6 tonight to make it to the address on the envelope," Perry snapped, his tone changing yet again to one that was waspish. "If you don't come, your friend won't ever be able to model again, do you hear me?" He switched back to his sugary voice and it made Lily feel sick to her stomach. "You'd better be quick. We have a place to be tonight and we can't be late."

Just as the dial tone began to ring in her ear, someone pounded on the door to the stall, making her cry out in alarm. "Miss Evans? Miss Evans, are you all right?"

Security.

Crap, she'd been in there for far too long.

Hurriedly, Lily closed her phone and slipped it into her pocket. "E-everything's just fine!" she called. "I'll be out in a moment!"

The guard, Sharon, didn't seem too convinced because she hovered outside the cubicle.

Lily made a show of flushing the toilet behind her and tried to straighten her clothing. Her mind was racing and in an effort to try and keep them from swirling out of place, she smoothed down her hair. Inhaling twice, shakily, she hoped that she could calm her breathing and not let the panic show on her face. She should have known that her eyes were red and her cheeks splotchy, though, because the security guard touched her shoulder when she finally exited. "You've been crying."

"Just missing Sirius," Lily said, and she didn't even have to lie about that. Impulsively, she added, "I…I want to see him. Today. Would…would that be okay?"

Sharon smiled uncertainly. "Of course. School will be let out in a few minutes so we can inform the driver."

Lily's mind raced both with Perry's threat and the impossibility of giving her guards the slip. Washing her hands, she quickly came to a conclusion that would not seem too out of place. "Do you mind going to the class and grabbing my things for me?" she asked. "I don't want people asking any questions…" her sentence got cut off by a hiccup. "And…and I don't want to go to Sirius looking like this. He'll think I'm pathetic."

_Because you are_, her mind reminded her.

The guard hummed, nodding once in understanding. A part of Lily wished it hadn't been that easy to convince her. She wished that the woman would be able to read that something wasn't right. That something was odd and investigate. Her heart sank further when she said, "Very well. Wait here."

As soon as the lady left the room, Lily hurriedly pushed away from the sink, wondering how she'd managed to come across such luck. It felt as though she were watching herself moving in slow motion as she looked left and right. If she was going to give the guard a slip, she'd have to do it now.

If she tried leaving the washroom, there would be more security guards in the hallways. The best way to escape would be through the window since the washrooms were the only place where cameras were not installed to protect the privacy of the students. Her actions would not be monitored and by the time Sharon managed to let everyone know she was missing, Lily would be long gone.

She knew what she was doing was foolish but she could not in good conscience let anyone get hurt on her behalf. She would never be able to live with herself.

She hopped onto the toilet's seat, being careful that her foot did not slip and send her into the bowl. Stretching out, she was able to grasp the windowsill's ledge and with much difficulty, hoist herself up.

The window pane proved to be difficult to open, but she finally succeeded by using her knee to shove at the stubborn lock. It gave way with a sudden click and the glass very nearly swung back to hit her in the leg. With instincts she didn't know she possessed, Lily avoided the painful experience by thrusting her hands out to take the impact and the action almost caused her to topple over backward into the women's lavatory once again.

As if to remind her of her mission and that time was running out, the school's bells starting ringing, marking the end of the day. Pretty soon, all the students would be filing out. Her window of opportunity was closing, and fast.

Panting, she glanced down at the yard below her and then backward at the girl's bathroom's door. She heard voices and made up her mind.

She jumped.

Her scream couldn't be helped when she crashed into the bushes below. Her left foot twisted and she rubbed at it frantically, trying to ease the pain.

In the few moments she took to comfort her foot, students began spilling into the main yard, a sea of blue and black and roan red. If she were to walk amongst them, she'd blend right in. It would be easier to get out without the cameras zeroing in on her if she chose to walk out the gates alone. The only conspicuous thing that would stand out was her hair, so she grabbed a stick and pinned it up in hopes that it would be less noticeable.

Then, timing it correctly, she hurried to catch up with the rest of the students, head down, shoulders hunched, trying not to wince at the pain in her ankle. Nobody questioned her. In fact, Lily felt almost as though she had taken a step back into the past and become invisible again.

All around her the other students laughed and chatted. They were in a totally different arena and she was on the outside looking in. She let herself get carried out by the rush, following numbly as she boarded the bus that would lead her far away from the life that she'd fallen in love with.

As the vehicle moved away, Lily caught sight of the guards. From their frantic faces, she knew that they were looking for her. She watched as they rounded up the students who were still milling outside the school. The last thing she saw were the iron gates being shut, probably in hopes that, if she were still on the property, they would be able to keep her in.

For Lily, it was a sign that her fate was sealed.

There was no turning back.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Sirius loped casually toward the Center's gates, a feeling of euphoria filling him up with every step.

He was free.

Well…

For a little while, at least.

He'd take whatever he could get.

He was about to start whistling but the sound of his cell phone ringing startled him. There was only one person who called him and he cursed himself for throwing the contraption in the bottom of his bag.

Gritting his teeth, Sirius swung it down off his shoulder and ripped open the zipper. In his haste, he almost spilled its contents in the process.

Successfully locating his phone, he answered on the third ring.

"Hello?"

"Sirius…"

It was Lily, just as he'd predicted.

His world became a little brighter at the sound of her voice. He was about to respond but she rushed on, a bit breathlessly, "Sirius, don't - " there was a bit of static and rustling and Sirius pulled the phone away from his ear, at the noise.

"Lily?"

"Sirius, is it?" A new voice was on the line, drawling in a way that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand.

Hand tightening on the phone, Sirius turned slightly to the side. "Who is this?" "I believe you know," was the response. It made Sirius' stomach plummet to his feet. Eyes widening to their fullest, he stood stunned into silence for a moment, unable to believe what he was hearing.

It was impossible.

How?

"Where is she?" Sirius demanded, mind still reeling from the shock. "What did you do with her?"

"Relax, boy. She's where she belongs," stated Perry, coolly. He could picture the man's face twisted into a victorious grin.

"If you hurt her, I swear I'll - "

"-You'll what?" Evans interrupted with a scoff. "Come after me?"

"You son of a…"

Perry interrupted him yet again with a click of his teeth. "Now, now Mr. Black. That's not very nice. And here I was going to give you her location."

Jaw hanging slack, Sirius' mind kicked into gear again, this time with panic. It provided him gory images and terrified screams that made his knees feel weak. From the knowing tone in his voice, Perry had uncovered everything they'd tried to keep a secret. "Wait," he heard himself plea. "What do you want? I'll do anything. Just…just please, don't hurt her."

His laugh was like nails on a chalkboard. Sirius had to pull the phone away from his ear again, suppressing the urge to groan in desperation. "Anything?"

"Anything!" Sirius cried.

"If you want to see her again, I want five million delivered to me by seven o'clock tonight." Perry's voice had gained an edge that promised Sirius that he was not bluffing.

"Five million…" Sirius repeated, in shock and dismay.

"Five million," Perry confirmed. "Hand-delivered by yourself to the wharf down by the bay. If not, you'll never see her again." There was a crackle to the line and then Perry's voice lowered. "The schedule is rather tight. She's fetched quite a sum on the market and the other buyer is eager to get what he paid for."

Sirius could feel the blood draining from his face. "Y-you…you sold…"

"I'm willing to take the highest bidder, though," Perry continued, as though he had not heard the boy's incredulity. "So, it's not a penny short of five million, you understand?"

"You're insane," Sirius breathed.

"Involve the police and I've already told Lily what will happen. I'm pretty sure you can guess, too."

Sirius' world was closing in. He had to fight to make sense of the words.

"Don't forget," Perry was practically singing, now. He had cornered both Sirius and Lily and he knew it. "The boat sails at seven. I hear you like to be habitually late for everything. Try to be on time. Damaged goods don't sell as well."

He hung up before Sirius could get another word in.

Listening to the dial tone, his jaw ground together to the point where his gums began to hurt.

He had her.

He had her.

He had her!

That was the only thought that was prominent in his mind.

"Sirius? What happened?" A voice to his right made him drop the phone. It fell with a clatter and skittered across the ground to bump against the other person's shoe.

He had the impulse to lunge for it, but stopped himself short when he realized just who had spoken. He lifted his gaze, eyes reflecting twin pools of terror, to see Don staring down at him. When he'd collapsed to his knees, he had no idea, but he distinctly felt the hard gravel under them.

Just beyond the gates of the Institution, Don's bike was parked, gleaming in the late afternoon sun. Sirius had been so engrossed in the conversation with Perry that he hadn't heard it pulling up; hadn't noticed the rider standing just a few feet away.

Worriedly, Don crouched next to him. "Hey, Sirius…are you okay?" He glanced at him and then back at the Center's main building. "Should I get…?"

"N-no!" Sirius finally managed to get his jaw unlocked from its clench. Blood flooded his mouth and he knew he'd bitten his cheek with the way it throbbed. He impatiently spat it out and it caused Donovan to jump back a pace.

"What the hell…?"

"It's nothing," Sirius said, angrily. "What are you doing here?"

His day just went from bad to worse.

"I came to say good bye," Don told him. "The Marauders have an event up north in two weeks. We're cleaning up here and moving on."

"Couldn't find anyone?" Sirius inquired, dryly, curiosity getting the better of him. He ignored Don's offered hand and labored to his feet.

Don merely gave him a shrug, coming to his feet as well. "Not everyone has the talent for racing." His words were mild but Sirius could read the disappointment in them.

He asked, "Will you be coming back here, ever?"

"We won't be seeing each other again, if that's what you want to know," Verovich told him. "You have nothing to worry about."

Rather than feel relieved at this prospect, Sirius felt a pang of regret swell in him. He forced a smile, even though all he wanted at this point was to lie down; his head had begun to spin and he wondered if he were breathing funny again. "Good luck, then," he managed to say. "I hope you get the right type of people for your team."

Don grinned back, that devil-may-care attitude showing itself full force. "Bastard. You have the nerve. Use it to get out of the hell-hole you created for yourself. I'm doing just fine compared to you." He flashed his teeth in a way that reminded Sirius of a wolf ready to attack. "Truth be told, I don't think you need all these fucking shrinks. All you need is to race like you've always wanted to. Like you still want to."

When Sirius opened his mouth to object, Don cut him off. "Yeah, I know. You think you can't. Bullshit. The only thing holding you back is yourself. Not your father. Not the doctors. And not James."

"I can't race you, anymore…"

"You _won't_ race me anymore," Don corrected, mildly. "I don't expect you to. Even if you did, you'd bite my dust in the sorry condition you're in." That disdain that had been lacking earlier crept into his words then, making Sirius flinch. He swept his hand to the side, the helmet flashing under the sunlight. "I…wanted to say that I'm sorry."

Now _that_ was unexpected. Sirius' mouth opened on its own accord in disbelief. Before he could voice his incredulity, Verovich continued, "I'm sorry that it had to end this way. I'm sorry I ever saw any potential in you to begin with, because it proved to be such a waste." Each word was like a slap to the face, and Sirius felt his muscles tighten in defense. But Don wasn't done, his tone taking on a resigned manner, dropping any malice it had picked up along the way. "I'm sorry you lost the race even before it began."

"If you're going to go, then go!" Sirius said, spitting out another mouthful of blood. _Good riddance, get lost_, he begged, internally.

"Not until you tell me what that phone call was about," Don said, after a pause.

Sirius glared at him. "It's none of your business, that's what."

"Who has Lily, Sirius?"

The younger boy froze. "How the…? You heard…?"

"I heard enough," Verovich said, grimly. "Whoever it is wants a hefty sum of money in exchange. Sirius, you should go to the police."

"Are you mad? That's exactly what I can't do!" Sirius miserably wiped at his lower lip. "Perry will kill her."

"Perry?"

With a sigh, Sirius crouched back down, his long fingers burying themselves into his hair and tugging at the locks in frustration. "He's her uncle…" Bitterly, he summed up the situation and his brief exchange over the telephone that he'd just had. "That bastard sold her. He fucking _sold _her!"

At last, tears made themselves known and as much as Sirius tried to stop them from falling, they did anyway, leaving tracks down his cheeks that carved the way for more. He was at a loss, at his wits end. "And I…I can't do anything," he wept. "Where am I going to get that type of money? And even if I did, how would I ever get to her in time?"

Donovan sympathetically watched as the younger boy broke down. Whatever spirit he'd once possessed in the past was lost, burdened down by a world of sorrow and despair.

He absently twirled his helmet in between his palms. He'd never been the type to offer comfort, nor was he the type to give gentle words of advice. He could not help but feel sorry for Sirius, though. Abruptly, he stopped the twirling when an idea hit him. He took a step toward him, causing the younger boy to flinch.

"I've got an idea: I'll make you a deal. Take it or leave it, but I think it will be the only way to get her back."

_To be continued…_

* * *

**AN:** And the tension builds. Did you like it? Personally, I'm enjoying this quite a lot and I'm anxious to get to the next chapter's writing.

However, my life has turned more hectic than ever.I'm trying to fit time to edit and write in between all the other stuff I have to do. I've started a one-shot series in another fandom which I find is a lot easier to update but that doesn't mean that I've given up on Optivus or this work. That said, I hope that the next chapter won't take as long to update. Keep your fingers crossed that things settle down soon. Thanks again to everyone who reviewed and emailed and messaged me. I love them all and feed off of them in my darkest times. I'd love to hear from you again, so leave me comments in any form to make me the happiest woman on the planet!

Thanks for reading,

-P.P.V.V.


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